Jinger and Jeremy: Life with the Soccer Preacher Man

[MarblesMom]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

They probably just haven't gotten around to taking them down yet.

My thinking was TLC and the Duggars have played with the timelines of relationships up to this point, so I just connected dots that this all took place 3 months ago.   Meh, I am probably off on it, it just seemed odd.

[Bad Wolf]

Maybe Jinger has the fundie fifteen, the equivalent of the freshman fifteen. I can hope.

[Hokey Pokey]

4 hours ago, singsingsing said:

They probably just haven't gotten around to taking them down yet. To be honest, I have some Christmas stuff on my bookcase I still need to take down, haha. Just in time for Easter...

This made me suddenly glance across the room. Oh, Hi christmas lights, I totally forgot you were there.

[Peabody Holmes Raptorsen]

On 2/27/2017 at 1:04 PM, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

Fundies being closeted is only funny if you don't think too hard or consequentially about any of it, because you don't have to dig very deep to find the sadness in a situation like that. The David Wallers and Jeremys of the world wouldn't hesitate to take the right to marry or adopt children away from a gay couple for no good reason except... " Jesus", so I can see how the schaudenfraudy side of people says, "Hahaha, silly dumb dumb, screwing yourself over because of your bigotry." But it stops being funny when you consider that the bigotry coming out their mouths may be coming from a place of intense self-hatred. I say "may" because they could both be straight and just bigoted assholes for all we know. My husband loves clothes and lots of product too and he's not gay. Appearance is not always a reliable indicator of a person's sexuality. Its also sad because if they are gay, it means they're, in essence, behaving as their own worst enemy by participating in a fundie lifestyle. Also, the Jeremys and David Wallers of the world would think being percieved as gay would be insulting, which might be seen as funny cause they're fundamentalist Christian homophobes, and their fundie side would hate that. But again, that's not really funny either, because you're throwing gay people under the bus to trigger a fundie's homophobia and get a rise out of them which is...wrong. I mean, you  wouldn't go up to a person with a confederate flag, say "Black person, 2 o'clock!" watch them freak out, and find that funny in any way, and I feel like its basically tantimount to doing that except with gay people by joking that way. 

**Warning: Very long and personal post. I apologise in advance for the wall I'm text**

Coming out of lurkdom to say: I couldn't agree with the bolded more. I am a very stereotypically feminine gay woman (who no one EVER  thinks is gay btw, even if they see me kissing my wife) raised in a fundamentalist faith (not Christianity). I came out to my parents at 14 mistakenly believing that since I was their only child they would accept me (side note they never got over it and we haven't spoken in about 5 years). Because of my family's beliefs I was sent to conversion therapy for a couple years and then arranged to married as soon as possible (arranged marriages are a common cultural/religious practice) I think with the hope that my soon to be husband would teach me how to be a "real woman" or that I would stay to avoid the perceived shame of divorce. Spoiler alert: I called off the engagement once my already married friend informed me what my wedding night would entail (absolutely ZERO sex-ed here). But before I realized I would have to touch his winky on a fairly frequent basis I was willing to go through with it because I truly believed my soul would be dammed without a husband to guide it. 

From the time I was 14 until I got my head out of my own rear end and came out publicly at 24 I was an incredibly homophobic, intolerant, and frankly unbelievably hypocritical ass-hat. I was that person who loudly proclaimed that being gay was a choice, used slurs, and refused to associate with lgbtq people because I viewed them as deviants and morally corrupt. In my mind, I was sacrificing my happiness to suppress the parts of me that everyone told me were wrong, so other people should have to do the same. Like the Duggars and their ilk we didn't watch TV or interact much with the outside world, especially as women, for fear of becoming tainted by it, so most of your opinions, socialization, and experiences come from your community and those who share your same beliefs. This just further reinforces the already fucked up stuff they are telling you to get you to do what they want, worse yet you end up turning around and pressuring others to stifle the unique parts of themselves because their joie de vivre makes you uncomfortable. All that kind of thinking leaves you with, is a deep bottomless sense of self loathing and a total disconnect from reality (not to mention all the people you end up hurting), oh and fear, a lot of fear. Once I came out I remember feeling a sense of freedom I had never felt before and telling everyone who would listen. That intense sense of fear and shame doesn't go away overnight though, and I imagine it's much the same for the people we talk about here.

All this to say, you never know about a person, especially in these types of insular,repressive, and strictly policed communities. It is unbelievably hard for people to get out and live authentic lives, it is also hard to get out and stay out of these communities. I can't speak for others, but my community, even now, would welcome me back with open arms if I agreed to tow the line and be a "good woman" (I.e. meek, straight, pliable, and subservient). Even knowing the kind of half life I would have to live if I went back I waffled back and forth several times before I finally shut the door on them. So I get people who admit they have a same sex attraction but refuse to admit they're gay, or say they've been cured or some similar bullshit. By choosing to come out, you're effectively giving up everything else that identifies who you are. And that is hard. If any of these fundies did decide to come out publicly they would loose their families, sometimes their children, their support systems, spouses, friends, community standing, ect.

I don't begrudge those in these communities who stay in the closet or who kinda sorta but not really come out, and I don't think we should poke fun at them either. In a lot of ways just having different mannerisms or a different speech pattern than is expected for your gender is a huge act of rebellion, gay or not. These are communities where boys and girls are told from before they can even walk how they should present themselves, that different is sinful, that individuality is a selfish indulgence, and there is the constant fear as they get older that if they're not how people expect them to be they won't get a "good"  mate, or even worse, they're eccentricities will prevent their siblings from getting a good match. So I know it's fun to talk smack and poke fun at the absurdity of their beliefs and behavior, but let's show some grace too.

[Kak]

PSA 

Irish people aren't all heavy drinkers.

Irish funerals are often dry ( I've never been to a funeral with alcohol).

Negative generalisations about an entire country or race of people are offensive. 

[actuallyjessica]

lol at people trying to spin jinger's weight gain as too much pasta or the fundie version of the freshman fifteen.

why would a female fundie (who does not use birth control or practice any sort of contraception) usually gain weight 4 months after their wedding?

(no, just by pointing out weight gain does not mean anyone is calling her fat, and if she were fat - who cares?)

i'm all for being hopeful here, taking any sort of queue from the way pre-marriage, jinger seemed frightened when derick made a joke about them being pregnant in a few months, or the way jeremy responded to the kids question in a recent interview.

let's be real. they can be as frightened as they want and still get pregnant. they'd have 9 whole months to get used to the idea.

there have been no duggars to stray from any party line as of yet. i hope jinger and jeremy are the ones to do it, and seem the most likely, but hey, we had those ideas about derick and look how that turned out....

[KelseyAnn]

5 hours ago, Peabody Holmes Raptorsen said:

**Warning: Very long and personal post. I apologise in advance for the wall I'm text**

Coming out of lurkdom to say: I couldn't agree with the bolded more. I am a very stereotypically feminine gay woman (who no one EVER  thinks is gay btw, even if they see me kissing my wife) raised in a fundamentalist faith (not Christianity). I came out to my parents at 14 mistakenly believing that since I was their only child they would accept me (side note they never got over it and we haven't spoken in about 5 years). Because of my family's beliefs I was sent to conversion therapy for a couple years and then arranged to married as soon as possible (arranged marriages are a common cultural/religious practice) I think with the hope that my soon to be husband would teach me how to be a "real woman" or that I would stay to avoid the perceived shame of divorce. Spoiler alert: I called off the engagement once my already married friend informed me what my wedding night would entail (absolutely ZERO sex-ed here). But before I realized I would have to touch his winky on a fairly frequent basis I was willing to go through with it because I truly believed my soul would be dammed without a husband to guide it. 

From the time I was 14 until I got my head out of my own rear end and came out publicly at 24 I was an incredibly homophobic, intolerant, and frankly unbelievably hypocritical ass-hat. I was that person who loudly proclaimed that being gay was a choice, used slurs, and refused to associate with lgbtq people because I viewed them as deviants and morally corrupt. In my mind, I was sacrificing my happiness to suppress the parts of me that everyone told me were wrong, so other people should have to do the same. Like the Duggars and their ilk we didn't watch TV or interact much with the outside world, especially as women, for fear of becoming tainted by it, so most of your opinions, socialization, and experiences come from your community and those who share your same beliefs. This just further reinforces the already fucked up stuff they are telling you to get you to do what they want, worse yet you end up turning around and pressuring others to stifle the unique parts of themselves because their joie de vivre makes you uncomfortable. All that kind of thinking leaves you with, is a deep bottomless sense of self loathing and a total disconnect from reality (not to mention all the people you end up hurting), oh and fear, a lot of fear. Once I came out I remember feeling a sense of freedom I had never felt before and telling everyone who would listen. That intense sense of fear and shame doesn't go away overnight though, and I imagine it's much the same for the people we talk about here.

All this to say, you never know about a person, especially in these types of insular,repressive, and strictly policed communities. It is unbelievably hard for people to get out and live authentic lives, it is also hard to get out and stay out of these communities. I can't speak for others, but my community, even now, would welcome me back with open arms if I agreed to tow the line and be a "good woman" (I.e. meek, straight, pliable, and subservient). Even knowing the kind of half life I would have to live if I went back I waffled back and forth several times before I finally shut the door on them. So I get people who admit they have a same sex attraction but refuse to admit they're gay, or say they've been cured or some similar bullshit. By choosing to come out, you're effectively giving up everything else that identifies who you are. And that is hard. If any of these fundies did decide to come out publicly they would loose their families, sometimes their children, their support systems, spouses, friends, community standing, ect.

I don't begrudge those in these communities who stay in the closet or who kinda sorta but not really come out, and I don't think we should poke fun at them either. In a lot of ways just having different mannerisms or a different speech pattern than is expected for your gender is a huge act of rebellion, gay or not. These are communities where boys and girls are told from before they can even walk how they should present themselves, that different is sinful, that individuality is a selfish indulgence, and there is the constant fear as they get older that if they're not how people expect them to be they won't get a "good"  mate, or even worse, they're eccentricities will prevent their siblings from getting a good match. So I know it's fun to talk smack and poke fun at the absurdity of their beliefs and behavior, but let's show some grace too.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you, I as in the same boat. If you ever want someone to talk to who gets it, I'm here for you

[Peabody Holmes Raptorsen]

1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

I'm sorry that happened to you, I as in the same boat. If you ever want someone to talk to who gets it, I'm here for you

Thank you for that @KelseyAnn. I am still sorting through a lot of emotional baggage from there (especially now that kids are on the horizon) and bizarrely still miss aspects of it, mostly around religious holidays and important life events. I can say though, the last 5 years have given me a lot of perspective and I am now happily married to a wonderful and patient woman who makes me happy G-d made me exactly the way He did because otherwise I wouldn't get to be with her.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

5 hours ago, actuallyjessica said:

SNIP
there have been no duggars to stray from any party line as of yet. i hope jinger and jeremy are the ones to do it, and seem the most likely, but hey, we had those ideas about derick and look how that turned out....

Yeah, she's probably pregnant. But I do think the angle of the shot is making both of them look "fuller faced" than they really are.  They have been married 4 full months now, so odds are she's knocked up, but not enough to look like she does. I'm guessing the stress from living her life and planning a wedding make her VERY thin and she's finally gained a few pounds back  after relaxing a little bit and having a lot of stress off of her. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Peabody Holmes Raptorsen said:

Thank you for that @KelseyAnn. I am still sorting through a lot of emotional baggage from there (especially now that kids are on the horizon) and bizarrely still miss aspects of it, mostly around religious holidays and important life events. I can say though, the last 5 years have given me a lot of perspective and I am now happily married to a wonderful and patient woman who makes me happy G-d made me exactly the way He did because otherwise I wouldn't get to be with her.  

It makes me sad to hear that parents can essentially throw away their child because they won't follow their rules.  As a mother, there are only 1 or 2 things my child could to to keep me from them, and being gay isn't one of them.

My DD was goofing around  with a friend of hers telling a story that she lied to someone saying she was a lesbian, and friend said her mom would kill her for even thinking that, "because gays are horrible people who are going to burn in hell."  DD laughed and said "my mom says the same thing about republicans."   While I do mostly agree with this statement I would never disown my child for being one, even though, unlike homosexuality, it IS a choice if you are a republican or not.  

I hope your parents come around one day once they realize what they are missing out on.

[CreationMuseumCurator]

4 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Yeah, she's probably pregnant. But I do think the angle of the shot is making both of them look "fuller faced" than they really are.  They have been married 4 full months now, so odds are she's knocked up, but not enough to look like she does. I'm guessing the stress from living her life and planning a wedding make her VERY thin and she's finally gained a few pounds back  after relaxing a little bit and having a lot of stress off of her. 

All of the above, plus their honeymoon. I gained weight on a 5 day honeymoon. I can't imagine what would've happened in two weeks...

[eyerollsforjesus]

Not my personal style BUT Jinger is rocking these modest shorts!! Looks like they're handing out tracts or maybe info on their church. 

 

 

[unicorncastle]

Not my personal style BUT Jinger is rocking these modest shorts!! Looks like they're handing out tracts or maybe info on their church. 
 
 

Omg yasss! I love this look on her! A duggar girl in shorts!

[Timetostoplurking]

6 minutes ago, unicorncastle said:

 

Omg yasss! I love this look on her! A duggar girl in shorts!

 

Holy moly!!!   SHORTs!!!  

[Tangy Bee]

5 minutes ago, Timetostoplurking said:

Holy moly!!!   SHORTs!!!  

PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE AND NOT A PHOTO SHOP PRANK!

[karen77]

WOOT!! that didn't take long!

[choralcrusader8613]

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