Jinger and Jeremy: Life with the Soccer Preacher Man

[season of life]

I think my period came at 11 or 12. That has been the ages my sisters had their first period. One of my sisters had a friend whose period came at 9, if I recall correctly. I'm surprised at how many ladies had theirs at a later age.

[Bim]

I got mine at 11, my friend sadly got her's at 8! All of our other friends got them between 11-13. I only ever knew one girl who got hers later, around 17. 

[Gillyweed]

20 minutes ago, Bim said:

I got mine at 11, my friend sadly got her's at 8! All of our other friends got them between 11-13. I only ever knew one girl who got hers later, around 17. 

I can't imagine getting your period at 8! I work at a camp during the summer, and they're all so little and innocent... When I was 8, the bathroom was attached to our classroom in school. I would have been so embarrassed to carry a pad into the bathroom with me while everyone was watching. Hell, for the first year I was embarrassed to open pads in the bathroom because the wrapping was so loud, and I was 13!

[Jana814]

I can't imagine getting my period at 8. The age of 11 was soon enough for me. 

[Bim]

When I was 11 I remembering being so happy, I wanted it so badly because it felt like becoming an adult/a woman but even then 8 felt so young, I felt so bad for her. Now I feel that 11 is so so young.

[kinphilly]

On 2/23/2017 at 11:35 AM, Fluffy14 said:

Does anyone think how odd it was the Jinger wanted to be surprised at her wedding decor? I thought about that. Most women are very detailed about what is going to be done down to the last detail. In some clips the Duggar girls said how indecisive Jinger is, and she just needs encouragement in her choices. I find this whole thing so bizarre. Like they have been trained their whole lives to think about things the way they were told. Obey, obey obey. Don't question authority. No independent thinking . She must have just hung back her whole life letting others decide things for her.  My only other thought is that she has seen Miss Cindy's  creativity, class , and style and had full confidence she would pull it off. I mean Jinger didn't even know what her groom was wearing.

I haven't seen anything from this season, but if Jinger ever gets a chance to run things - be it a company or a homeschool group or even just an event like a banquet for a non-profit, being able to let go and trust someone else to do well is actually a great executive trait.    (And given what we've seen of her MIL maybe she'll get AND EMBRACE those chances?  )   

Not wasting energy on low-importance decisions is actually a GOOD thing sometimes - like Steve Jobs and many other creative people who decide not to waste even 60 seconds a day of mental energy on deciding what to wear, or breakfast ...

I have a closer to 40 than 20 relative about to get married, in a high power after multiple grad degrees job, and she's pretty unconcerned about some of the details that matter very much to other brides.  

[calimojo]

I liked that Jinger did it that way.  To me,  she wasn't all that into the wedding part, other than the dress, and was much more interested in getting married. 

 

Planning a wedding isn't something that everyone enjoys.  If it were me and someone was willing to do the decor, I would love it.  I imagine Jinger had a chance to say what she likes and doesn't like, but just didn't want to have to fuss with the details.  And if her mom's friend Cindy was willing and able, why not. 

 

I sort of wonder if Cindy had a special kinship with Jinger?  She wasn't involved or even featured in the weddings of the other 2 girls.  Maybe she and Jinger were close.  Cindy seems nice enough.  She is probably a pretty conservative Christian, but manages to live a fairly mainstream life.  Dresses with style, I think she works,  not afraid to stand up to JB, and doesn't have the fame hungry desperation of a Sierra. 

[Inky]

My mom was very open about discussing sex, and periods and stuff like that. When I was 5 years old I asked her where babies came from. 

She, not being one to teach fairy tales, sat me down and told me the actual truth of how babies get in their mothers tummies. Then, after she told me, she realized that she left out one important element (this was 55 years ago LOL) - She said "But before you can do any of this, you have to go to the church and get married". My response?

In horror I said "You mean they go and do that at the church in front of ALL THOSE PEOPLE!!!!" 

She got a lot of good laughs and mileage out of that one over the years!

[Bim]

I feel like Jinger could never have the wedding she really wanted (probably something intimate in new york) because they have to accommodate  the giant fundie guest list so whats the point in trying to plan it down to the detail. Thats how I would feel at least. 

Also for my own wedding I really enjoyed planning it but at a certain point I just didn't care about all the ridiculous details, I just wanted to get married. I basically gave my planner a picture of what I wanted and let her do it all and it was perfect!

[calimojo]

That might be true.  They both said they wanted something small.  So maybe when that got vetoed,  They had a few 'must haves', like having some real food at the reception and a decent rehearsal dinner.  And for Jinger, the dress of her dreams.  But outside of that I think it was just whatever,  I will do what I am told, but I am not going to be the one up all night long making decorations

[Bim]

Yea exactly, the Duggar weddings don't seem like they're for or about the couple at all. Jessa for example loved that thorn crown church and said she would've liked to get married there but since that wasn't possible (*cough*allowed*cough*) thats where they got engaged. 

[Bad Wolf]

25 minutes ago, Inky said:

My mom was very open about discussing sex, and periods and stuff like that. When I was 5 years old I asked her where babies came from. 

She, not being one to teach fairy tales, sat me down and told me the actual truth of how babies get in their mothers tummies. Then, after she told me, she realized that she left out one important element (this was 55 years ago LOL) - She said "But before you can do any of this, you have to go to the church and get married". My response?

In horror I said "You mean they go and do that at the church in front of ALL THOSE PEOPLE!!!!" 

She got a lot of good laughs and mileage out of that one over the years!

Oh lord. I just snorted tea out of my nose. Best laugh for a week.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I originally thought this when Jessa and the gang went to decorate their apartment. Since there were several of them, and they showed them all coming back to the apartment the next morning, I assume they all got hotel rooms. 

But with just Jinger and Jed, do you think they were allowed to sleep in Jeremy's apartment? Split up guest room or couch? That would make the most sense, considering how late it was that they got there and unpacked. But would the Duggars allow that, even with an accountability partner?

I think what Boob & DQ don't know doesn't get anyone in trouble. I'm sure the siblings have an agreement you look this way and I'll look that way later.  I'm sure most of the older kids find a lot of the rules to be asinine. 

[johnhugh]

Jinger will get knocked up as soon as Jerry closes his eyes and thinks about his former football team mates. Just like Davey does when thinking about Robert when having sweat fellowship with prissy.

[sillysally314]

i'm an OWL-trained instructor. that stands for Our Whole Lives, a human sexuality program offered in a lot of United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist congregations around the US and Canada. it's worth looking whether any local congregation is offering classes. they usually offer them to members *and* the public.

it focuses on a huge, *age-appropriate* range of human sexuality topics, so you get your standard anatomy and reproduction talks, but it's also amazing in that it talks about intimacy, relationships, communication, trust, learning your own personal values, the range of sexual experiences.  (google UUA OWL for more)

i mean, the 7-9th grade class has whole sessions on ways to express affection and intimacy without sexual intercourse, and how if you have sex with one person one day, you don't have to have sex with them the next day, or with the next person, unless you both have talked about it and agree you're ready to handle the emotional and physical consequences. like, holy crap, if i'm not in the mood to screw, i can say no thanks, not today?! 

this would've changed my whole effing life had i gone to this as a teen.

for great sexuality books for any gender, i recommend anything by robie harris. i've already seen "it's not the stork" and "it's so amazing" mentioned. i want to give a shout-out to "it's perfectly normal" for preteen/teen males, females, and anyone else on the gender spectrum.

oh, and if you have any other questions, hit me up. teaching kids and adults about sexuality is one of my favorite parts of my job.

[hasunah]

I was 15 when I had my first period , used pads and then switched to tampons the next month and never looked back . Pads feel too much like diapers to me .

[FleeJanaFree]

^ I read about that course in the fictional Alice books by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. I didn't realize it was a real thing! Sounded fantastic in the books.

 

also, I totally recommend those books for your daughters. Alice REALISTICALLY matures from an 11 year old to graduating college and retiring by the end of the series.  Those books meant an awful lot to me growing up, (didn't have family members I felt approaching about sensitive topics like sex or embarrassment) and still do. I own the entire series still, and will be buying for my nieces as I don't think I'll have children of my own. Gave me so much guidance.

[Snarkle Motion]

2 hours ago, johnhugh said:

Jinger will get knocked up as soon as Jerry closes his eyes and thinks about his former football team mates. Just like Davey does when thinking about Robert when having sweat fellowship with prissy.

I don't believe he's gay but the thought did cross my mind. As someone who waited to get married and seems pretty into fashion it made me wonder once or twice. But he really doesn't give off the same vibes as David and does seem to be genuinely attracted to Jinger in a way that doesn't feel forced. 

[calimojo]

I think that Jeremy seems more into fashion because the Duggar boys have no sense of fashion at all.  And, I think that men from the east coast, and who are living in cities tend to be more into fashion.  I have friends who grew up in the cornfields, moved to the city and really started paying more attention to fashion after moving.  I think it is a regional thing to a degree. 

 

I also don't think he is gay, but who knows,  he may be on the down low.  Men who sleep with men, but don't identify as gay is not all that uncommon.  I don't think it is likely, but then again,  anything is possible. 

[eveandadam]

1 hour ago, calimojo said:

I think that Jeremy seems more into fashion because the Duggar boys have no sense of fashion at all.

 

I do think that Josiah seems (or seemed) more into fashion than the others, though. He used to be more expressive with his fashion choices and it looked good on him.

1 hour ago, calimojo said:

I also don't think he is gay, but who knows,  he may be on the down low.  Men who sleep with men, but don't identify as gay is not all that uncommon.  I don't think it is likely, but then again,  anything is possible. 

wtf?!

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

Yeah, there's quite a few religious men who will openly acknowledge their "Same sex attraction" but will not label themselves gay and will marry women. There was a special on TLC a few years ago called "My husband is not Gay" (or something like that) and it followed three Mormon couples in Utah where the husbands had same sex attraction but decide to live their lives' as heterosexual men. Their wives knew and portrayed their relationship dynamic as healthy. It was weird and sad at the same time. These men can be bisexual, but it came off more as self hating. I also think Ted Haggerd considers himself as having SSA but isn't gay. 

 

Uh, I don't think Jeremy is gay but I wouldn't be surprised if one of the Duggars marry someone in the closet. They live in a highly homophobic culture where I am sure many would rather fake it til you make it than live life as an evil gay person. 

[Gobsmacked]

9 hours ago, sillysally314 said:

i'm an OWL-trained instructor. that stands for Our Whole Lives, a human sexuality program offered in a lot of United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist congregations around the US and Canada. it's worth looking whether any local congregation is offering classes. they usually offer them to members *and* the public.

it focuses on a huge, *age-appropriate* range of human sexuality topics, so you get your standard anatomy and reproduction talks, but it's also amazing in that it talks about intimacy, relationships, communication, trust, learning your own personal values, the range of sexual experiences.  (google UUA OWL for more)

i mean, the 7-9th grade class has whole sessions on ways to express affection and intimacy without sexual intercourse, and how if you have sex with one person one day, you don't have to have sex with them the next day, or with the next person, unless you both have talked about it and agree you're ready to handle the emotional and physical consequences. like, holy crap, if i'm not in the mood to screw, i can say no thanks, not today?! 

this would've changed my whole effing life had i gone to this as a teen.

for great sexuality books for any gender, i recommend anything by robie harris. i've already seen "it's not the stork" and "it's so amazing" mentioned. i want to give a shout-out to "it's perfectly normal" for preteen/teen males, females, and anyone else on the gender spectrum.

oh, and if you have any other questions, hit me up. teaching kids and adults about sexuality is one of my favorite parts of my job.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't giggle because this is a serious topic with lots of good advice. BUT having read your first sentence I immediately thought of you teaching at Hogwarts.

Im off to the prayer closet to grow up!

[WhyNotJulie]

8 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

I don't believe he's gay but the thought did cross my mind. As someone who waited to get married and seems pretty into fashion it made me wonder once or twice. But he really doesn't give off the same vibes as David and does seem to be genuinely attracted to Jinger in a way that doesn't feel forced. 

I don't think we should be speculating about anyone's sexuality as a general rule, but I don't think this necessarily breaks FJ rules because Jeremy isn't a kidult living under the Duggar regime.

But no, just to add, my headship is quite metro (likes to look good, knows how to take care of himself, etc) - arguably far moreso than Jeremy - and yet is definitely heterosexual. It's not uncommon. 

[Mela99]

This 'becoming a woman' talk makes me wonder -- do we know how fundies treat teaching their daughters about menstruation? Does IBLP have a booklet on that? I envision it as something like the episode of Family Guy where they say, "You're a naughty child and that's concentrated evil coming out of you." 

[singsingsing]

This really should be obvious, but you can't tell whether a person is gay based on their mannerisms, voice, appearance, style, interests, hobbies, or personality.