Lori Alexander 15: Leaving A Fire With Her Makeup Bag

[onemama]

Here's a really good article by Leslie Vernick, a much better teacher than Lori of anything that has to do with marriage, conflict resolution and relationships in general. She gets it! 

https://un184.infusionsoft.com/app/hostedEmail/5854072/d06132438148447d?inf_contact_key=b19e14aee8905bd449adad5196b3edf618eb46f4fefe7563f7581101ae302e45

Summary: 

The four leadership indicators are:

· A strong core sense of who you are

· Control of fleshly desires

· Solid knowledge of God and God’s Word

· Servant focus rather than power focus.

 

I don't see these indicators in Lori, Ken or their men friends. 

[Koala]

Wow...

Lori did another "Youtube".  She says that she kept her grandchildren for 24 hours (collective gasp at this monumental achievement  ).  She goes on to tell viewers that she taught her grandchildren not to complain by telling them that God sent snakes to bite complainers (there's a fun little Bible story for you).  She also said that when her toddler grandson hurt himself and cried, she told him "not to cry and moan, even if he was in pain", because he needs to learn to "suffer in silence".

Do their parents watch this shit??  WHY do they leave their children with that evil woman?  Of course I guess we know the answer.  It's because her son is no better.  This is, after all, the son who force fed his daughter when she wasn't hungry, but made her sit on a blanket and watch them eat dinner when she was.  After all, he doesn't want her crying to eat during dinner time! Dinner is for adults!  

Quote

Emma, my granddaughter, would love to be the boss. Most children would love to be the boss if they could. Ryan, my son, made Emma's breakfast this morning. He started feeding it to her. After one bite she said, "No!"  Ryan made her eat at least 20 bites between her crying. He doesn't want her to get her way and become a picky eater. He is a very smart daddy.

Erin, Emma's mother, told me that when they eat dinner, Emma begs for their food. Ryan didn't like that so he set a blanket down and made Emma sit on it with her toys and books while they ate. For a week, she would just sit there and scream. Then she would just cry.  Now when he lays the blanket down, she crawls over to it and plays happily while they eat.  She knows her daddy is boss and means what he says.

 

[Joyce]

Hi guys! If you celebrate Lent, what are giving up? I'm thinking of giving up reading The Transformed Wife and Always Learning. 

[louisa05]

7 minutes ago, Joyce said:

Hi guys! If you celebrate Lent, what are giving up? I'm thinking of giving up reading The Transformed Wife and Always Learning. 

LOL!! I feel like we are supposed to give up something that we enjoy. 

The again, giving up reading Lori's nonsense would eliminate anger and irritation from my day. So there is that. 

[molecule]

Lori's post today is horrific. She says it's about whether a woman should divorce a porn addict. (No surprise. Her answer is no.) But then she goes on to give examples of husbands who are angry, put their wives and kids in danger, etc., and her answer is still that divorce is wrong. Even in cases of physical abuse, it sounds to me like she is advocating separation and getting help--but not divorce.

She ends with a bunch of bible verses about the joy of suffering.

She is spiritually abusive and a horrible, horrible woman.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Mr. Dress and I are giving up rice and potatoes.  It may not sound like much, but I cook rice at least 5 times a week. Consequently there won't be any gravy made. I'm hoping to drop a few pounds.  

We had considered also giving up pasta, but hubby realized there wouldn't be any tuna noodle casserole -- one of the Friday night mainstays of my Catholic childhood. Mine is better because I make white sauce with celery and mushrooms rather than using condensed soup like my mother did.

[Joyce]

Quote

LOL!! I feel like we are supposed to give up something that we enjoy. 

Reading Lori comforts me such that I'm happy that she's not my mother or aunt. I'm praying so that I can limit Facebook use to twice a day, once in the morning, once at night.

 

[freealljs]

I'm watching her latest video about complaining. She looks WAY older than her years. 

So maybe the Internet can send her snakes when she complains about detractors, women not being submissive, etc. 

 

[Koala]

Interesting.  Lori has long said that the Bible never contradicts itself.  In today's Facebook link she is (predictably) arguing with her readers (apparently, her favorite way to start the morning). 

The reader believes that adultery is grounds for divorce, Lori believes everyone (except her) should suffer.  

Anyway, Lori says:

Quote

You are building your case on one verse in the Bible and overriding the many that argue against this one verse.

Is she saying that you can't base a case on one Bible verse?  Is she further saying, that the Bible contradicts itself by "overriding" what it's already said?
If the Bible never contradicts itself, why would it have to "argue" against one of its own verses?

7 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I'm watching her latest video about complaining. She looks WAY older than her years. 

So maybe the Internet can send her snakes when she complains about detractors, women not being submissive, etc. 

 

Well this is probably a bitch eating crackers thing, but I watched the one where she was making soup.  It looked like a giant pot of mush.  It had too many ingredients too.  She lost me at "yams".  

Also, her pantry shelves are filthy looking.  She should invest in some shelf liner, and then clean the damn things regularly.  

Her pots look nasty too.  

 

[Loveday]

18 minutes ago, Koala said:

Interesting.  Lori has long said that the Bible never contradicts itself.  In today's Facebook link she is (predictably) arguing with her readers (apparently, her favorite way to start the morning). 

The reader believes that adultery is grounds for divorce, Lori believes everyone (except her) should suffer.  

Anyway, Lori says:

Is she saying that you can't base a case on one Bible verse?  Is she further saying, that the Bible contradicts itself by "overriding" what it's already said?
If the Bible never contradicts itself, why would it have to "argue" against one of its own verses?

Well this is probably a bitch eating crackers thing, but I watched the one where she was making soup.  It looked like a giant pot of mush.  It had too many ingredients too.  She lost me at "yams".  

Also, her pantry shelves are filthy looking.  She should invest in some shelf liner, and then clean the damn things regularly.  

Her pots look nasty too.  

Well, they would, if she 'cleans' them with that chicken juice-soaked microfiber cloth.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Remember this is the woman who wipes up chicken juice (.ie., blood) with her Norwex cloth, rinses it out and uses it again and again.  Ken also mentioned that the house is tidy, but not spotless.

If, according to Lori, women are supposed to be keepers of the home, working hard all day with no free time -- what the heck is she doing all day?  Besides being on the internet, deleting comments and arguing with readers? Why isn't her house spotless -- there are only the 2 of them?  Why isn't Command Man Ken telling her what to do with her free time? As a submissive wife (yeah right) why isn't she doing what Ken wants and creating a spotless, sparkling home? Doesn't she love and respect him and want to please him? (insert sarcasm here)

There are only 2 of us in the house, we both work full time and this place is -- well ... not operating room sterile clean -- but pretty close to white glove clean about 95% of the time. Especially the kitchen, the pots and the pantry. No Nasty Norwex for me.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

She goes on to tell viewers that she taught her grandchildren not to complain by telling them that God sent snakes to bite complainers (there's a fun little Bible story for you).  She also said that when her toddler grandson hurt himself and cried, she told him "not to cry and moan, even if he was in pain", because he needs to learn to "suffer in silence".

This would be the last time she'd ever spend unsupervised time with my kids, if it were me. She's pure evil. And this is the woman who griped nonSTOP because someone didn't give her potatoes when she wanted stupid potatoes in her soup (not to mention all the other asinine things she's complained about over the years). Maybe God should send some snakes to bite HER. Except I like snakes and wouldn't want them being poisoned by her venom.

34 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I'm watching her latest video about complaining. She looks WAY older than her years. 

 

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.” ~Coco Chanel

Lori has exactly the face she deserves.

29 minutes ago, Koala said:

Her pots look nasty too.  

Well, it's not like she cooks or anything, so I daresay she never even looks at them much less cleans them.

[Koala]

I could totally see her wiping those pots with her Norwex cloth and putting them right back in the cabinet.  Remember how Ken coined the term Christian Risqué (when describing the way his adult daughters dress)?  I'd like to coin Clean Grungy.  Lori's house always looks "picked up" but grungy.  I bet her counters are absolutely teaming with bacteria.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

The real miracle would be if she gave up blogging for lent. "Mentoring" is probably the one thing she enjoys the most but no she couldn't do that as too many women neeeeeed her. 

I suspect she would pull out the health card for reasons why she can't have a spotless home.  Maybe its time to downsize with not children in the home, then much easier to keep spotless. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

After reading this I don't think this Ben is the same as the other Ben we were talking about:

Ben Dugan says:

Quote

This goes out to all who share their opinions on this subject.

Though I respect your opinions and views because they come from your heart. That is the thing that also scares me. I cannot honestly, before God, believe for the life of me that God would tell a wife, or husband for that matter, because abuse does happen with men too from women, to stay in that marriage with abuse that goes so far as it puts them both in danger. Love Honor and Cherish covers a whole lot more than just cheating sexually on your spouse. AND God has led DIVORCED people into marriage together for a greater purpose. I think that you are being legalistic here. It is a dangerous position to take when you start looking at things so black and white that there isn't any room to really look at the the bible. I am not saying to make your own bible up. The church already does that. What I am saying is that, you become to dogmatic and narrow minded on things you fully do not have a biblical understanding on that you can strangle those who listen to you, and it doesn't just have to be on this matter. But this is one of them. God would never say that you cannot divorce, but then say stay in that marriage and get the hell beat out of you. And that is wrong for the church to say to another as well. I know you all mean well, but you are also becoming legalistic and are thinking like Pharisees when you say this is gospel but you really don't know. It is just your opinion. There are other reasons for divorce other than sexual immorality. And to say otherwise is not biblical, especially when you follow the thoughts and opinions of a paper written by someone else's opinion. Like I said, all of you mean well and I am not faulting you for that. But please be careful as to act like or say that you have all the answers, whether it is this subject or any subject. 

And because I have come to a point where I disagree with so much as of late with some of this blog, I will no longer be following it. It is nothing personal. I wish you the best and God bless you all.

Lori says:

Quote

Did you not read my post, Ben? I NEVER say, "God would never say that you cannot divorce, but then say stay in that marriage and get the hell beat out of you." Twice in my post I link to a post of mine about women in abusive situations. http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/.../what-to-do-in-cases...

Don't you like the tone? Did you not listen to me!  Which post what it where the commenter (Dave I think) said something about getting hell beat out of you? Lori endorsed the comment. So maybe technically she didn't say it in her post, but there was a discussion here a few days ago that seemed to suggest she fully supported it. 

[Koala]

7 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

The real miracle would be if she gave up blogging for lent. "Mentoring" is probably the one thing she enjoys the most but no she couldn't do that as too many women neeeeeed her. 

I suspect she would pull out the health card for reasons why she can't have a spotless home.  Maybe its time to downsize with not children in the home, then much easier to keep spotless. 

I suspect "the health card" would fall on deaf ears, coming from the woman who prattles on and on about God wanting us to suffer, and pain being a great teacher.

Funny how those rules apply to everyone except The Godly Mentor.

Spoiler

I'll tell you something else that I find really strange.  Since Lori posted that her mother has terminal cancer, she has posted not one, but TWO health updates about herself, and absolutely NOTHING about her mom.  

It's all about Queen Lori.

She posted about her mom being sick in Sep.

In November she made a blog post updating readers about her health.

In January she made a "Youtube", updating readers about her health.  

Her mom wasn't mentioned either time.  

I guess she figures that she's the star, so why would anyone want to know about her mom, when they can hear all about her.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

AW, but she did post about how her mom at 85 has recently become a submissive wife! 

[Hisey]

Lori would like to forget that there are real women out there, getting beaten up and getting screamed at or left at the side of the road. She prefers a world where all wives are controlling nags. It complicates her "message" enormously when women --and even men!--point out that women can have serious, legitimate grievances towards their spouses.

[Koala]

1 minute ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

AW, but she did post about how her mom at 85 has recently become a submissive wife! 

Yeah, she credits herself for that, even though she claims her mom gave her Debbi Pearls book. 

6 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

After reading this I don't think this Ben is the same as the other Ben we were talking about:

Ben Dugan says:

Lori says:

Don't you like the tone? Did you not listen to me!  Which post what it where the commenter (Dave I think) said something about getting hell beat out of you? Lori endorsed the comment. So maybe technically she didn't say it in her post, but there was a discussion here a few days ago that seemed to suggest she fully supported it. 

Umm yeah, that's exactly what she implied.

Ben:

Quote

Yes, she should be submissive and obedient as well as respectful. But if he is driving the relationship with ego and legalistic ideas, and becoming abusive, then there are grounds of divorce.

Trey says:

Quote

 It does not matter if “he is driving the relationship with ego and legalistic ideas, and becoming abusive*”. Wives are told to submit to their husbands even if their husbands are not being obedient to the Word of the Lord. (1 Peter 3:1). Even if it “turns ugly”. 

Ben replies:

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BUT, in cases of abuse, I cannot see God saying stay in a marriage where you are getting the you know what beat out of you. 

A reader named Ruth chimes in to agree with Ben.

Lori finally weighs in to TEACH BEN:

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Ben and Ruth,

Please read this article. These are NOT biblical grounds for divorce. 

There you go.  Having the shit beat out of you IS NOT GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE, per Lori Alexander.

Comments of this post:

https://thetransformedwife.com/women-withholding-sex-from-their-husbands/#comments

[Emilycharlotte]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Wow...

Lori did another "Youtube".  She says that she kept her grandchildren for 24 hours (collective gasp at this monumental achievement  ).  She goes on to tell viewers that she taught her grandchildren not to complain by telling them that God sent snakes to bite complainers (there's a fun little Bible story for you).  She also said that when her toddler grandson hurt himself and cried, she told him "not to cry and moan, even if he was in pain", because he needs to learn to "suffer in silence".

Koala, can you tell me how to find the video you're referencing? I can't seem to find it. 

[Koala]

Just now, Emilycharlotte said:

Koala, can you tell me how to find the video you're referencing? I can't seem to find it. 

Sure! 

Let me know if that link didn't work.

Side note:  Now that Lori is teaching men pretty much every day, it'd be nice if she'd make a post explaining why that's okay in light of her previous posts and insistence that she doesn't teach men.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Koala, 

Great, thanks for finding those. It is Lori that misunderstands then. Ben is saying you should be able to divorce for abuse. Lori is saying you should be able to separate, but still never divorce. So, Ben is right to be bothered by this.

[Koala]

Yep.  According to Lori you can't divorce an abusive husband, but you can separate from him. After that you can move in with your parents and they'll be more than prepared to take you and your quiverfull of children in.  They won't have any problem supporting you all financially, because Lori's father is a doctor and God owns everything. 

If your parents can't support you, your church will.  Lori doesn't tithe, in order make sure that the church has plenty of money for situations like that.  All churches have a money tree out back, right?  

And did she mention that God owns everything??  If your kids get hungry, just go to the grocery and load your cart up.  As you make for the door, they might try to stop you, but just remind them that the organic food you are stealing belongs to God, not them.  That'll totally stop them in their tracks.  They'll probably even help you load an extra cart.

Remember that priority #1 is NOT to work to support your children.  Only Harlots of Babylon work.

Also, make sure that above all you try to win him back without a word.  After all, you alone are responsible for his salvation.  

Tip 1: A couple of times a week, make a trip to his place to cook and clean.  <---yes, they have actually suggested that.

Tip 2: Never forget that if you'd been submissive, he'd have never wanted to abuse you in the first place.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

After reading this I don't think this Ben is the same as the other Ben we were talking about:

Ben Dugan says:

Lori says:

Don't you like the tone? Did you not listen to me!  Which post what it where the commenter (Dave I think) said something about getting hell beat out of you? Lori endorsed the comment. So maybe technically she didn't say it in her post, but there was a discussion here a few days ago that seemed to suggest she fully supported it. 

It IS the same Ben. What a strange fellow. He talks about CDD in one FB comment, and then defends a person's right to divorce for abuse in another. I suspect he's divorced.

About her latest "youtube". . . instead of teaching her grandkids to be interested and intrigued by snakes, she is teaching them that they are a punishment God sends down to you! Scaring (and lying to) little children is Ok, apparently. Why do Ryan and Erin leave those kids with her? They must be desperate for a babysitter. (Incidentally ,that Erin seem like she need a lot of "me" time--haven't she read Lori's blog?)

I mean, really, can't she spend 24 hours alone with those little kids without feeling the need to scare them? And I like the way she says "24 hours"--it sounds more onerous that way--instead of "I kept the grandkids for a day." But really, can't she just distract the little boy instead of terrifying him into obedience?

I would never leave my kids alone with their grandma if that were the type of talk she was dishing out.

[crawfishgirl]

Just watched that video.  What an incredibly heartless person to treat her young grandchildren like that.  She doesn't want to be bothered by anyone else's pain but her own.  Truly a sociopath.