Jinger and Jeremy - Social Media Silence

[lomo6]

@SassyPants @louisa05 I wrote my post before realizing that there were 2+ pages of responses to @VeganCupcake. I was just so immediately horrified/worried that someone who proclaimed herself to be absolutely not ready for children because she's just a child herself would so nonchalantly and cavalierly talk about using the pull-out method, and apparently a lot of FJers had similar reactions. I hope she has listened to our suggestions and hasnt' abandoned this place forever.

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

32 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

@SassyPants @louisa05 I wrote my post before realizing that there were 2+ pages of responses to @VeganCupcake. I was just so immediately horrified/worried that someone who proclaimed herself to be absolutely not ready for children because she's just a child herself would so nonchalantly and cavalierly talk about using the pull-out method, and apparently a lot of FJers had similar reactions. I hope she has listened to our suggestions and hasnt' abandoned this place forever.

I totally second your thoughts. @VeganCupcake please know that we aren't trying to shame or demean you whatsoever. This is one of those "sisterhood" moments, where regardless of sexual orientation, religious beliefs, economic status, etc., when we see a sister in a situation that has a HIGH probability for ending in disaster for her, we care enough to step out of our own comfort zones to try and help. Sisters (by blood or not) empower each other to be the best they can be. So please don't be offended by our responses, please understand that we care about YOU and your future. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Agreed. I was harsh in my replies to you, vegancupcake, but this is not the time for nicities. real talk required. Being disrespected in such a way that can and statistically will affect your health and future is nothing to LOL at. Perhaps your education and parents failed you regarding birth control. That's inconvenient. But you're here on freejinger, and you have been prescribed birth control even if you didn't pick it up, so I know you have the resources to be smart about this. You can figure out birth control options online and with said doctor. As the great j.k. Rowling states, "There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.” You are willingly having sex, responsibility lies with you.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

12 hours ago, Denim Jumper said:

"I love having sex with a condom," said no one. Ever. 

They have their good points. They're usually lubricated, and that's easier and neater than using lube separately. They can prolong sex by making the man less sensitive. Also, as has already been pointed out, cleanup is much easier.

[EmmyJay]

Just to point out, you truly don't know if this guy has 'tons of money' unless you're his accountant or have spent up close and personal time with his bank statements. Some people go to a heck of a lot of trouble to maintain an illusion of wealth, and some people are just living precariously due to circumstance change or other life events that while they might look wealthy, they really aren't anymore. Please keep this in mind.

[goldengrove]

8 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@goldengrove I'm sorry that you had such bad experiences with IUDs. In the early days of the technology, they were pretty awful, there was even a huge class action suit against the Dalcon Shield which just about killed the industry, which is part of why a lot of people have never heard of them/considered them and some doctors never learned how to insert them. That said, the new IUDs have little in common with the first generation, and have much less risk associated with them, but like any form of birth control, there are possible side effects, which is why it's so important for women to research their options and discuss birth control with their doctor.

 

Thank you @Kittikatz it was a bad time for sure, and could have been much worse, at least, my daughter wasn't left motherless.  We did consider joining that class action suit, but my father, who was an MD, had a fit and offered to help with the bills that our insurance didn't cover.  We accepted, to keep the peace.

Regardless of what happened, I am glad that the IUD industry survived the Dalcon Shield, it is an excellent birth control option for a lot of women.  

[VelociRapture]

16 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@VeganCupcake I've been on hormonal birth control of various forms for the last twenty plus years.

One pill seemed to make me less horny, I told my doctor, she prescribed another type and all the horniness came back. I've tried pills, patches (I didn't like how visible they were), and the ring (didn't fit because of some weird anatomical issues with the position of my pubic bone). Currently using a mirena IUD, and I love it. The first couple of months were a bit weird, but now I hardly get a period, no wild PMS, and the horniness levels are exhausting two young FWB, and require my buying batteries at Costco.

Despite all this, I managed to get pregnant once while on the pill. Babies were never part of my plans, but I loved this man so much, I couldn't imagine having an abortion, so I told my BF (who had plenty of money, and who I totally loved and trusted) - I fully expected him to step up and support his child. I kinda imagined that the baby would just fast track our relationship and we'd be getting married sooner than expected. The reality was something else entirely. He walked away. I couldn't reach him on the phone. He wasn't available when I tried to drop by his work, and he wouldn't answer my emails. I deluded myself into thinking it was just a shock and he needed time to process, when I heard through the grapevine that he had accepted a job transfer to an office in another country, and had flown out (translation: no dad for my baby, and no help financially or emotionally). I was devastated, ran the numbers, and I knew I couldn't afford a baby on my own. I spent days doing nothing but crying; the stress was out of this world. About five days after I heard he had left, I had a horrible miscarriage. It was the worst, most painful experience in my life. And I was too stupid to call anyone for help, so I was laying on the bathroom floor, in agony, bleeding out into a pile of towels, more than half hoping I would just die too. I didn't, and while I now think that's a positive, the experience left me massively depressed. Being pregnant, even for a little while, is no joke. I still see my child in my dreams, and wake up crying, which is ridiculous, because I couldn't have handled being a solo parent, and it wasn't the that far along, and I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. As much as I hate to say this, it just isn't safe to assume that someone is going to do the 'right thing' and be a responsible and civilised co-parent. There needs to be a whole lot of conversation about that first. Now I'm religious about condom plus my own birth control. Please learn from my mistake.

I miscarried almost a year ago - I actually found out I was pregnant that time a year ago today. Miscarrying for me wasn't bad physically, but absolutely brutal emotionally. Even now, as I'm currently feeding my two month old daughter, I still wonder about that other pregnancy. 

I don't know when your's happened, but be gentle and kind to yourself. It does get better eventually. It may take time, especially given the additional trauma you dealt with, but you will be ok eventually.

[QuiverDance]

On 2/18/2017 at 4:46 PM, VeganCupcake said:

Omg I'm scared LOL I use the pullout method only. My bf seems extremely confident with it though and I know he for sure does not want a kid. WE are kids. 

 

I hope this isn't true.  If it is, please rethink things immediately.  

[KelseyAnn]

I don't mean to derail but I have pretty awful PCOS and I was just wondering what the best birth control would be for that. I'm really worried about putting on weight as is. 

[Georgiana]

11 hours ago, EmmyJay said:

Just to point out, you truly don't know if this guy has 'tons of money' unless you're his accountant or have spent up close and personal time with his bank statements. Some people go to a heck of a lot of trouble to maintain an illusion of wealth, and some people are just living precariously due to circumstance change or other life events that while they might look wealthy, they really aren't anymore. Please keep this in mind.

In addition, if they are both still young, "tons of money" likely means that his PARENTS have money...which cannot be garnished for support of the child.  It's actually worse because his parent's can fund a certain standard of living for him while he remains un or under employed, which means his support will be calculated at next to nothing.  I know people like this.  They live a solidly upper to upper middle class life with help from mom and dad and pay the state minimum in child support.  Which is, of course, NOTHING compared to the actual costs of raising a child.  

9 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

I don't mean to derail but I have pretty awful PCOS and I was just wondering what the best birth control would be for that. I'm really worried about putting on weight as is. 

I personally have had good luck with the Mirena, as a low dose of hormones seems to work well for me.  However, if hormones at all make you really wonky, there are hormone free IUDs.  I personally believe IUDs are the way to go if you are not planning on kids in the next couple years.  

[Chewing Gum]

12 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

I don't mean to derail but I have pretty awful PCOS and I was just wondering what the best birth control would be for that. I'm really worried about putting on weight as is. 

I would suggest any form that releases a steady level of hormones, IUD's are an option I would think. Can you talk to your GP/GYN about this? Not sure what the right doctor would be (foreign). 

Ha, double post with @Georgiana. We think alike!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 2/19/2017 at 8:30 AM, VeganCupcake said:

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right? 

At my last visit she prescribed me to birth control but I didn't pick it up lol. But I was tested for every STD including blood work for both types of herpes. It does make me mad that I was thoroughly tested & most guys never are for herpes, but that's pretty widespread. Even most gynos don't test their patients for herpes routinely but mine does. 

I'm very informed but I did not realize the pullout was quite so unreliable. The reason I said "he's being reckless" is bc he would be much more upset at the thought of a baby than I would. He has tons of money & I don't so it would be a bigger burden on him lol. 

Wow interesting I will show him these posts of people saying they got pregnant doing the pullout! He might want to reconsider LOL. 

You rather cavalier attitude (i.e. loling at every reply) is truly terrifying. You don't want kids, you have a boyfriend who doesn't want kids, you two are just DTF, and that is fine, but you two are being stupid, reckless and irresponsible. You are the reason we have pro life people saying women use abortion as birth control. Boy was I naive to think there wasn't anyone this stupid or this careless.  Pregnancy is a serious deal it isn't something you say oh LOL I didn't think of that.  'I have teenagers, and I told them if they can't talk seriously about sex and birth control then they aren't old enough to have sex.

 

[choralcrusader8613]

Just now, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I have teenagers, and I told them if they can't talk seriously about sex and birth control then they aren't old enough to have sex.

I cannot agree with this more. I know 20-somethings who can't meet this basic criteria, and it's sad.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

I've just skimmed over all the replies, not read extensively (my apologies), but if I can offer my two cents:

1. Pull-out method is not a contraceptive method. It's a Russian roulette for those who like to gamble with their reproductive health. Ergo, use at your own risk.

2. Each one of us is different: some women prefer/can take/can tolerate some forms of birth control, some women cannot, some women gain weight, some women lose weight, some women experience increased libido, some women experience decreased libido, some women have ancillary conditions, and so on and so forth. The worst thing you can do is to make generalized assumptions on what treatment/contraceptive method is best for you based on someone else's experience. Your decisions should be based on discussing your options with your OB-GYN and sexual partner(s). End of story.

[feministxtian]

I've been following this discussion with @VeganCupcake and I will give her the same advice I gave my kids...if you can't or won't deal with the consequences of sex (pregnancy, STI) then DON'T DO IT. If you're not smart enough to protect yourself with birth control, you have no business having sex. Sex is for grown ups who have thought through the possible consequences of birth control failure. 

I have a "pull out baby"...she's 34 now. I was 17 when I got pregnant with her and was stupid enough to trust the moron I was sleeping with. 

If you can't handle the consequences, don't do the deed...to quote Baretta "don't do the crime if you can't do the time"

[Kittikatz]

@VelociRapture thanks for your kindness. I was around the fifteen week mark when it happened, my doc said that it was this plus the speed at which my body expelled the fetal remains that may have contributed to the physical pain. I suspect my emotional turmoil and lack of support also added to my perception of pain. Time does make things better - most days, I'm fine with it, but every now and then the ghost child ambushes me, and the memories flood back.

[killingxspree]

 

5 hours ago, KelseyAnn said:

I don't mean to derail but I have pretty awful PCOS and I was just wondering what the best birth control would be for that. I'm really worried about putting on weight as is. 

My gyno said she prescribes yaz to everyone who has pcos when i asked. I don't have pcos, but at the time I was getting it ruled out. I'm currently on yaz anyway and its quite good. Much better then any of the other birth control options I tried! Which were numerous but mostly the implant & bc pills. Since starting my skin is super clear, no breakthrough bleeding, no weight gain but it causes headaches when i go on or off the sugar pills. So that kind of sucks. I avoid taking the sugar pills for long periods of time and that helps a lot. (Okayed by my doctor obviously)

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

12 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I miscarried almost a year ago - I actually found out I was pregnant that time a year ago today. Miscarrying for me wasn't bad physically, but absolutely brutal emotionally. Even now, as I'm currently feeding my two month old daughter, I still wonder about that other pregnancy. 

I don't know when your's happened, but be gentle and kind to yourself. It does get better eventually. It may take time, especially given the additional trauma you dealt with, but you will be ok eventually.

If my first pregnancy hadn't ended in a miscarriage, I would have a child turning 11 years old this month. I am okay, but I still think about my potential first child sometimes. For me, time helped and so did talking to friends and family. 

 

5 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@VelociRapture thanks for your kindness. I was around the fifteen week mark when it happened, my doc said that it was this plus the speed at which my body expelled the fetal remains that may have contributed to the physical pain. I suspect my emotional turmoil and lack of support also added to my perception of pain. Time does make things better - most days, I'm fine with it, but every now and then the ghost child ambushes me, and the memories flood back.

I hope time continues to help you. Best wishes and hopes for all of us who are parents of "ghost children". 

[GotCaughtDancing]

So in US today the headline was

Quote

Jinger Duggar's Husband, Jeremy, Reveals One Thing They Didn't Do on Their Wedding Night on 'Counting On'

Then they go on to call the show: "The TLC unscripted series' ". I had to laugh heartily at the unscripted part.

And what was it that they didn't so?

"The wedding cake was remarkable — it tasted delicious — and it went through my mind to do the traditional 'get the cake all over your wife's dress,'" Vuolo reveals in a testimonial. "But I was a little intimidated looking at that dress, so I made sure to be very careful feeding my wife the cake."

When has it been traditional to get cake all over your wife's dress? lol Some people used to smash it on each others faces, but this sounds more like a food fight. His church must hold some wild wedding. ha!

The title was complete click bait, but here is the link for your viewing:  http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/jinger-duggars-husband-i-didnt-do-this-on-wedding-night-w467835

 

[GotCaughtDancing]

Interesting response.

Are Babies In The Picture for Jinger and Jeremy? | Counting On

https://youtu.be/lOxuVavVfWc

I couldn't get it to embed sorry.

[SamiKatz]

4 minutes ago, GotCaughtDancing said:

Interesting response.

Are Babies In The Picture for Jinger and Jeremy? | Counting On

https://youtu.be/lOxuVavVfWc

I couldn't get it to embed sorry.

 

Definitely an interesting response!  Get the feeling Jeremy and Jinger will be teaching Derick and Jill how to speak Spanish soon?

[GotCaughtDancing]

17 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

Definitely an interesting response!  Get the feeling Jeremy and Jinger will be teaching Derick and Jill how to speak Spanish soon?

haha that is the first thing I thought too.

Unless this is another thing to make themselves look good. Like Jill saying it or Jessa saying she is going to adopt.

[hollywood]

29 minutes ago, GotCaughtDancing said:

Interesting response.

Are Babies In The Picture for Jinger and Jeremy? | Counting On

https://youtu.be/lOxuVavVfWc

I couldn't get it to embed sorry.

Hmm. Interesting. We shall see.

[sparklymagie]

Could someone please describe the video for those of us who don't like to watch videos?

[Jiraffe]

Very interesting response! In that video, the TLC host asks if there are any babies in their future. Jeremy responds, "We'd love children, but we're obviously just focused on getting settled in to Texas and the ministry and being together, so, we'll see what happens." Jinger smiles and nods agreement at what baaaaaaaabe is saying. 

Shockingly, not a "leaving it up to God" in sight. Sheer speculation here, but I really feel like these two may have a normal sized family. Can only hope! 

The rest of it is the same old same old. Yes, it was hard for Jinger to move to Texas but she will still see her family in visits back and forth. Jeremy mentions wanting to learn Spanish as there's lots of Spanish speakers in Laredo.