Jinger and Jeremy - Social Media Silence

[devoutjedi]

The hormonal implant (nexplanon) in your arm is an option. It's a small plastic rod with a low dose of progesterone only. I've been on lots of types of hormonal birth control and I have to say this one is my favorite. 

[Audrey2]

42 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

Whoa.  This is a conversation had in the early 80s, not 30 + years later, right?

Very respectfully, in many parts of the country they are now doing abstinence only sex education Sadly, this is the misinformation/neglect that abstinence only sex ed leads to. It does such a disservice to those who experience it. It is possible that she is from an abstinence only area. It's also possible her parents (or his) optioned out of sex ed, or she went to a private/parochial school that didn't teach it.  I really appreciate the rest of you being so open and honest. 

[VelociRapture]

@VeganCupcake- I don't want to make you feel bad, but if you aren't ready for kids and you aren't using a reliable method of prevention then you should not be having sex. Husband and I were 100% ready for kids when we got pregnant with our now two month old daughter - she's our whole world and we adore her, but it is the toughest job either of us have ever had. I really don't want to see you guys end up in a situation you aren't ready for - so please, please take a serious look at the information shared in this thread.

Below are two links with information regarding contraceptive methods. I really urge you to look through your options with your boyfriend and pick one or two that are the best fit for your situation. Personally, husband and I used both  condoms and the pill for eight years. It worked well for us, but isn't the right option for everyone and thats ok. Just look at the options and pick what works for you:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

http://americanpregnancy.org/preventing-pregnancy/types-of-birth-control/

Remember, it takes two people to tango. Your boyfriend may be acting recklessly by relying solely on pulling out, but you are being just as reckless by allowing him to do so. Be a strong advocate for your own health and future - if he's not willing to consider any of the other options available, then you need to be the mature adult and start abstaining until he does.

[rosastrohhut]

2 hours ago, Eatingintheprayercloset said:

My sister and I are 11 months apart......my mom told us she (my sister) was a "pull out" baby. Please, just use something more effective. I'm in my early twenties and guys in my age range always brag that their"pull out is game strong".....I've graduated H.S. less than 6 years ago and most of these guys are now dads.

To me the pull-out method does not count as a contraception but rather as a fetish... 

Even Casanova wore some kind of condom and options have highly improved since then. 

There are many ways to inform oneself about birth control nowadays... 

[eveandadam]

Also Jinger saying she is not a "details person" and it can be overwhelming, what?! Isn't she a photographer and the artsy one in the family? Isn't this ALL about details, and many many different small things you need to considered?

It's like a primary school teacher saying "well, I don't like children, this can be overwhelming" or a doctor saying "I think blood and all other body fluids are disgusting! It makes me feel sick!"

[Daisy0322]

This may be tmi but I feel like I should share.... we used the pull out method with NFP because I felt like the hormonal contraceptives effected my body badly and condoms "ruined the mood" lol . Well now I'm 3 months pregnant and we used the method for oh about 1 1/2 months...it's okay because my husband and I were open to a baby and we're already thinking about it but it should definitely not be used as serious birth control. Not trying to preach at you @VeganCupcake I just want to share my experience so you can be better informed. 

@Shadoewolf yes! When you are young ovulation is very unpredictable. Like me who happened to randomly ovulate twice when I got pregnant. (I know this because of some thing I don't really know how to explain that they saw on my overies during an ultra sound).

[VeganCupcake]

12 hours ago, Cheetah said:

The big 'problem' with using NFP for birth control is that the days you have to avoid are the days you are the most horny :-).  (funny how mother nature wants to make babies...)

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right? 

10 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Talk to your doctor. Then tell Pull Out Boy no glove, no love, no exceptions. 

At my last visit she prescribed me to birth control but I didn't pick it up lol. But I was tested for every STD including blood work for both types of herpes. It does make me mad that I was thoroughly tested & most guys never are for herpes, but that's pretty widespread. Even most gynos don't test their patients for herpes routinely but mine does. 

8 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Whoa.  This is a conversation had in the early 80s, not 30 + years later, right?

I'm very informed but I did not realize the pullout was quite so unreliable. The reason I said "he's being reckless" is bc he would be much more upset at the thought of a baby than I would. He has tons of money & I don't so it would be a bigger burden on him lol. 

Just now, Daisy0322 said:

This may be tmi but I feel like I should share.... we used the pull out method because I felt like the hormonal contraceptives effected my body badly and condoms "ruined the mood". 

Wow interesting I will show him these posts of people saying they got pregnant doing the pullout! He might want to reconsider LOL. 

[nickelodeon]

27 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right? 

Nah, I'm as much of a nasty hoe on HBC as I ever was off it.

[singsingsing]

16 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right? 

At my last visit she prescribed me to birth control but I didn't pick it up lol. But I was tested for every STD including blood work for both types of herpes. It does make me mad that I was thoroughly tested & most guys never are for herpes, but that's pretty widespread. Even most gynos don't test their patients for herpes routinely but mine does. 

I'm very informed but I did not realize the pullout was quite so unreliable. The reason I said "he's being reckless" is bc he would be much more upset at the thought of a baby than I would. He has tons of money & I don't so it would be a bigger burden on him lol. 

Wow interesting I will show him these posts of people saying they got pregnant doing the pullout! He might want to reconsider LOL. 

The pill affects different women differently. It's hard to say how it will affect you until you try it. But you know what's probably an even bigger mood killer than the pill? Having a newborn baby.

I'm probably going to sound rude right now, and I'm sorry about that, but I think it's important that you hear this. I think your problem is that you seem to think you're 'very informed' but you're really, really not. If you were even somewhat informed you would know that the pull-out method is absolutely not a reliable form of birth control.

You need to take responsibility for your own life. You're laughing now, but imagine what being pregnant would actually be like for you. Do you know what you would do? Do you know if you would include your boyfriend in your choice? Do you have any idea whether he would support you or say, "See you later"? Is he going to use his tons of money to pay for your abortion, or your prenatal care? Is he going to be an involved father, or just pay child support? If you go through with the pregnancy, are you going to raise the child or put it up for adoption? Are you in school, or building your career, or do you want to travel, or keep a certain not-child-friendly lifestyle going for the next however many years? How is having a baby going to impact that? If you have an abortion, are you going to go back to using the pull-out method? How many abortions are you prepared to go through, and how many is he willing to pay for? You need to have these conversations now, because if you continue using the pull-out method this is going to be a reality for you very soon. 

You have the agency here. Your boyfriend does not get to decide whether he's going to use birth control or not. He should be an equal participant in that decision, but if he's as immature and irresponsible as he sounds, you need to take responsibility. You have a few options:

-Continue to use the pull-out method and prepare financially, physically, and psychologically for your inevitable pregnancy.

-Get on birth control, get condoms, or get fitted for a diaphragm or cervical cap right now. Do not give him a choice in this matter. You are the one who will have to go through pregnancy and childbirth or an abortion. This is not his call.

-If you won't take hormones and he's unwilling to use a barrier method, stop having sex with him. He doesn't deserve free access to your body. Sex is not a necessity of life. Sometimes in certain circumstances abstinence is truly the best form of birth control. Masturbation is fun and safe! Alternately, you could have non-penetrative sex (oral, fingering) or use sex toys, just make sure he's not ejaculating anywhere near your vagina.

-You can have an IUD inserted. The Mirena IUD has a very low localized dose of hormones that many women who otherwise have issues find they can tolerate well. The Paragard is a copper IUD and is hormone-free. These are highly effective at preventing pregnancy and last anywhere from 5-10 years, and he does not even have to know you have it.

But keep in mind that only condoms will protect against STDs. I know I'm going to sound like your mom lecturing you right now, but think long and hard about whether you trust this guy enough to have unprotected sex with him. If you do, great, that's your call. But STDs can have many painful, embarrassing, and even deadly consequences, and can't simply be 'taken care of' like an unwanted pregnancy.

[Marly]

12 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

That said, when I was a teenager my mom told me that I shouldn't be having vaginal sex if I wasn't prepared to either have a baby or have an abortion. And I think that's very true. 

 

You shouldn't be having unprotected sex if you're not prepared to have a baby.
I think there's a difference between 'being ready for sex' and 'being ready to become a parent'. Sex has become separated from procreation; people can now have sex without having/wanting/needing to procreate. And whether people like it or not, or whether they can believe it or not (i'll readily admit I was very ignorant about teens and sex because I was not sexually active as a teen myself, nor were my friends), teens have sex. Because it feels good, because it's exiting, but generally not because they want to procreate. 
I personally can't stand the argument "if you're not ready for a baby, you're not ready for sex", because the oldfashioned patriarchal notion that sex equals a baby/procreation no longer holds in contemporary western society due to the availability of contraceptives/birth control. Hence, you shouldn't tell teens that they shouldn't have sex, you need to tell them that they shouldn't have unprotected sex.

And @VeganCupcake, I've been on the pill for more than 10 years now, I have a very light one, and I can assure you that it is not affecting my horny-ness at all  It also never made me gain weight. Of course every one respons to it differently, but if you discuss your questions with your physician s/he can give you information on different types of birth controll and different types of pills.

[Denim Jumper]

16 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

Omg I'm scared LOL I use the pullout method only. My bf seems extremely confident with it though and I know he for sure does not want a kid. WE are kids. 

Oh my. Part of having a grownup sexual relationship is being responsible enough to prevent unwanted consequences, like babies and STIs. Oh, and caring enough about your partner's wellbeing to use protection. 

[PennySycamore]

@singsingsing,  Brava for your post!  

[Finduilas]

49 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right? 

At my last visit she prescribed me to birth control but I didn't pick it up lol. But I was tested for every STD including blood work for both types of herpes. It does make me mad that I was thoroughly tested & most guys never are for herpes, but that's pretty widespread. Even most gynos don't test their patients for herpes routinely but mine does. 

I'm very informed but I did not realize the pullout was quite so unreliable. The reason I said "he's being reckless" is bc he would be much more upset at the thought of a baby than I would. He has tons of money & I don't so it would be a bigger burden on him lol. 

Wow interesting I will show him these posts of people saying they got pregnant doing the pullout! He might want to reconsider LOL. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear @VeganCupcake:

1 - Pill does not make you 'never horny'. Some hormonal bc might on certain people. All bodies are different and fabulous this is why different hormonal bc have different dosages. Through trial and error you end up figuring out which ones work best for you. Personally as a 20something female I prefer the mild side effects of bc to the ones of a pregnacy and following childraising years ...

2 - Herpes ... Herpes is everywhere. Most people have it in one form or the other, and won't know it so condoms = win. Also herpes is FAR from the worst thing you can get. Herpes definitely isn't the big deal in the STD kingdom ...

 

3 - Pullout method is ... let's say that it might be a good way to space your kids while adding some kinkyness to the bedroom  No matter how 'strong' a guy's full out game is, sperm is sometimes released before the big party without anyone noticing. And then babies

 

4 - I really hope that all the FJ advice will make you want to research the different bc method and start thinking about what works best for you and your body and your lifestyle. If you can't find resources in US websites try checking British ones. Birth control is about you being a strong amazing empowered woman who makes the best choices for herself/her body/her life. The more you know the more empowered you are.

 

End of the feminist rant.

[Carm_88]

43 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

But on the pill you're basically NEVER horny, right?. 

I've never had an issue with the pill affecting that. I've been on it for years and years. It does affect people differently which is why there are different version. You have no idea how the pill will affect you until you have tried it. Your body needs to adjust to it and there are side effects but I for one have had libido issues. (TMI likely) I have many friends who have been on the pill and I have never heard that it dragged them down.

46 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

I'm very informed but I did not realize the pullout was quite so unreliable. The reason I said "he's being reckless" is bc he would be much more upset at the thought of a baby than I would. He has tons of money & I don't so it would be a bigger burden on him lol.

No it would be a much bigger burden on you. You would carry the child for nine months; if you have read any pregnancy discussions (candid ones), you will find that the side effects are brutal. Morning sickness, back pain, breast pain, constipation, hemorrhoids, having to more but having no room. Choosing to bring another human into this world is the biggest responsibility you can take on. You will will worry about them every single day. I'm not saying your boyfriend won't but mothers are special. No offense to the Dad's out there, I love mine more than anything, but carrying that child inside of you for nine months will change you.

Pulling out is not an acceptable method of birth control, you both have to be more responsible. As people said, it's not just on him because you will carry the baby.

[dawbs]

You are not 'very informed'.  I understand that you may have been failed dramatically in your education, but you are here, you have access to the internet (and several people who have given you some stellar links).  Congrats, you have RESOURCES and are a gazillion times more empowered to make educated choices than most young women have throughout history.  Use those options.

Because right now, instead of actually doing some reading and empowering yourself, you're doing 'yeah, but you're never horny on the pill, right?" crap pulled out of your butt old wive's tales and anecdata instead of actually learning stuff.  
You have visited the doctor but seemed not to have actually worked with/talked to the doctor  (because if you had told the doctor pull-n-pray was your current method, I can gauranfuckingtee that you would have had an actual conversation about how it's not adequate BC), and instead just dismissed the solution you were given.

Time to actually BECOME very informed.  Time to recognize that having sex is a grown-up thing and you have to do grown up stuff, like, spend some minimum effort learning stuff, to do it responsibly.

Wrong linky, try atain
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

Please listen to all the advise being given to you here, and take it on board. I won't add anything extra myself, because everyone else has covered it all way better than I could. The info is there to learn from, no matter how informed you think or feel you are already, there is always room for further learning to be better informed. The more knowledge and experience on this the better.

If you don't, and  instead end up facing the consequences, whether a pregnancy or STI, there will be nothing to LOL about. Seriously, there is no lol in any of this. I am not trying to be harsh, but it is reality and needs to be faced in a grown up and serious manner.

[Flossie]

17 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

Child number one is my own failure with bc pills, child number two is 'pull out' failure, child number three is...we were drunk  LOL

For me:

#1  Result of using a low-dose BC pill that has since been pulled off the market due to the large number of babies concieved while Mom was on said pill.

#2  Sleep sex - I didn't know that was a thing until that night.  Sleep sex will completely mess up NFP, the Rhythm Method, condoms, and any other form of birth control that requires planning ahead or using a barrier.

#3  This is what happens when you're told that your PCOS has finally gone and made you infertile.  Yes, it took three years, but nature found a way.

After that it was Norplant until I entered menopause.  I highly recommend Norplant.  For me it was a time of no periods, no cramps, no hormonal mood swings, and it was a constant form of birth control that didn't interfere with my blood pressure.

[Daisy0322]

@Carm_88 thousand times yes! I had no idea how taxing pregnancy was! I'm miserable in a different way all the time lol and physically it's draining because you feel awful and it's emotionally draining because all you want is the thing that is making you miserable to be alright lol seriously if people knew all this they wouldn't get pregnant the first time but I've been assured it'll all be worth it once baby is here haha

[JesusCampSongs]

14 hours ago, Percy said:

Very important, there is currently a rise in STI's for those too young to remember the AIDS virus discovery.

Very graphic  ads  on television in those days, pointing out that you not only sleep with your partner, but also with all of their previous partners.

Gonorrhea and syphilis are now a huge problem.  Especially in older adults who don't think the need protection as they can no longer get pregnant.

Any older person presenting with dementia gets an STI screen in our hospital.

Read and educate yourself and protect yourself.

I work with teenagers and I've had an absolute hell of a time convincing them that they NEED to use condoms consistently in order to avoid getting an STI, because herpes is forever, HIV drugs are expensive and come with a boatload of side effects, and the bacterial infections are often asymptomatic and can make you sterile if you don't treat them fast enough. I'm not sure whether to blame the fact that American culture has largely moved on from thinking HIV/AIDS is a big deal (because it has receded back to the margins of society) or the fact that most of their knowledge of sex comes from porn (where condoms are typically not a thing), but either way-- it's not good. "He said he's clean!" "Yeah, and I'm saving myself for marriage. Funny how you can tell anyone anything like that..."

I guess it's a generational thing; I was born in the 1980s and the thought of having unprotected sex with someone who's never been tested (or currently has multiple partners, or is someone I'm only seeing casually) grosses me out in a really visceral way. 

[MayMay1123]

11 minutes ago, Flossie said:

#3  This is what happens when you're told that your PCOS has finally gone and made you infertile.  Yes, it took three years, but nature found a way.

 

a co-worker of my husband's had a vasectomy and his wife had a tubal ligation...10 years later she got pregnant and they have a son. now that should scare the crap out of everyone LOL

[BeccaGrim]

Just now, MayMay1123 said:

a co-worker of my husband's had a vasectomy and his wife had a tubal ligation...10 years later she got pregnant and they have a son. now that should scare the crap out of everyone LOL

Post V babies happen.  That being said, its a low percentage.  But someone is always the 1%

[Jana814]

 

9 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

a co-worker of my husband's had a vasectomy and his wife had a tubal ligation...10 years later she got pregnant and they have a son. now that should scare the crap out of everyone LOL

That scares the crap out of my me. 

[Denim Jumper]

15 hours ago, VeganCupcake said:

 

 

Ok if this method is really that risky he's just super reckless LOL. I warned him I'm not on birth control & don't want to be because of the hormones. He hates condoms also. Good idea on the cycle method Fluffy, I will try that. 

"I love having sex with a condom," said no one. Ever. 

[Finduilas]

5 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

"I love having sex with a condom," said no one. Ever. 

To be fair, "having sex knowing that penis is using a condom and uterus is using her own method, therefore, we are not worrying about conceiving or catching an STD/STI and can fully enjoy ourselves" sounds really sexy and pretty damn enjoyable to me ... 

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

"I love having sex with a condom," said no one. Ever. 

"I love having sex with a condom when the alternative is not having sex at all," said the vast majority of men.