John Shrader Pt 10 - God's Glutton's Greatest Grifts

[formergothardite]

The "old man" is supposed to be the person you gave up being after getting saved. So basically John is saying he needs to stop being his old self and become a more godly version. 

[Howl]

John: Dear God, I'm a hot-mess, code-red melt down in progress. Fix it. 

God: Face palm

[Gobsmacked]

3 hours ago, gustava said:

What does this mean?

John wants to crucify his old self so he can rise anew from the ashes like a Phoenix. Or something like that.

John is a fool.

[Palimpsest]

18 hours ago, formergothardite said:

 

Quote

There are problems with Arcade's paperwork, so he will be returning to Burundi earlier than we hoped, but God willing, he will return next January for his ordination and missionary commissioning and sending along with Jolis.

 

Translation:  Arcade's tourist visa ran out and he needs to hit the skids before he gets deported.

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God is really helping Roderick as well, please keep him and Jacqueline In your prayers. It is very encouraging to see how God was working even today in my brother's heart. I know that God wants to mightily use Bro. Roderick as he grows up in the Lord. The devil really wants to stop him from being used of the Lord, and really went after him. Please keep praying for him.

My guess is that John and Roderick had a very big quarrel.  Perhaps Roderick (and Jacqueline) finally got fed up with being treated like a servant, cook, babysitter, handyman, and chicken guano cleaner-upper and told John and Esther to shove it.  

I expect Roderick was brought back into the fold with a chance to drive the Troupie and the promise of the keys and exclusive use of the next vehicle John manages to grift.  So long as it isn't as posh as the Troupie.

[Howl]

Critical thinking = The Devil at Work, then guilt the person into coming back. 

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[Granwych]

5 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

John wants to crucify his old self so he can rise anew from the ashes like a Phoenix. Or something like that.

John is a fool.

Gobs, you are being kind by calling John a fool.  He's a bloviating, self-righteous, pompous ass with a huge pie hole, (and hands perpetually out for donations.)

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, Granwych said:

Gobs, you are being kind by calling John a fool.  He's a bloviating, self-righteous, pompous ass with a huge pie hole, (and hands perpetually out for donations.)

@Granwych,

But what did you forget and have to edit to add?  I'm laughing my socks off here and, BTW, I'm very impressed with your use of language.

• Bloviating - check.
• Self-righteous - check.
• Pompous - check.
• Huge pie hole - double check.
• Hands perpetually out for donations - triple check!

I suppose we could add:

• Shameless manipulator,
• Self-indulgent twerp,
• Greedy,
• Selfish,
• Opportunist,
• Vanity personified, and 
• Lying yellow-bellied slug - that one for the disappearing plane alone.

[Gobsmacked]

I had to google to check what bloviating meant. Suits John boy 100%.

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

@Granwych,

But what did you forget and have to edit to add?  I'm laughing my socks off here and, BTW, I'm very impressed with your use of language.

• Bloviating - check.
• Self-righteous - check.
• Pompous - check.
• Huge pie hole - double check.
• Hands perpetually out for donations - triple check!

I suppose we could add:

• Shameless manipulator,
• Self-indulgent twerp,
• Greedy,
• Selfish,
• Opportunist,
• Vanity personified, and 
• Lying yellow-bellied slug - that one for the disappearing plane alone.

And also:  Bigus Dickus, describing his ability to produce and direct sperm, and his inflated sense of self.

[Gobsmacked]

14 minutes ago, Granwych said:

And also:  Bigus Dickus, describing his ability to produce and direct sperm, and his inflated sense of self.

No no no

Bigus Prickus.

[Granwych]

14 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

No no no

Bigus Prickus.

Thanks, that's much more accurate!  (And doesn't insult our dear Monty Python-ers!)

[gustava]

On 3/4/2017 at 8:31 AM, formergothardite said:

The "old man" is supposed to be the person you gave up being after getting saved. So basically John is saying he needs to stop being his old self and become a more godly version. 

Shouldn't this have already happened?  After all, he's gone all around the US begging for $$$ based on his godliness.  I've wondered in the past  (and think I said so on here) that he's prey to sins of the flesh.  Does anyone else think that lust underlie his angst?

[Gobsmacked]

4 minutes ago, gustava said:

Shouldn't this have already happened?  After all, he's gone all around the US begging for $$$ based on his godliness.  I've wondered in the past  (and think I said so on here) that he's prey to sins of the flesh.  Does anyone else think that lust underlie his angst?

I suspect so. If not, he would have just laughed off the weird internet porn. He made it into a biggie, flounced, made his site private etc.

He is also a super-duper drama queen which doesn't help obviously. 

Im banned because I was bad and openly disagreed with him. Ho hum.

 

[Palimpsest]

39 minutes ago, gustava said:

Shouldn't this have already happened?  After all, he's gone all around the US begging for $$$ based on his godliness.  I've wondered in the past  (and think I said so on here) that he's prey to sins of the flesh.  Does anyone else think that lust underlie his angst?

Who knows with John.  Perhaps the onslaught of lewd women spamming his FB tempted him to do an Ashley Madison.  Perhaps he repents and crucifies himself if he happens to notice an attractive woman (other than Esther) in passing or wonders for an instant what is under the contrasting buttons of a defrauding top.  You know the usual "temptations" that normal sexual beings cope with every day.

I think John is more prone to the deadly sins of pride, gluttony, greed, sloth and envy.  He may also indulge in wrath and lust, but not so obviously as those 5.

[formergothardite]

John's church service sounds like pure hell. 

Quote

 

We have a 30 minute opening of singing and Bible "Sword Drills," then teaching for one solid hour ("Sunday School"), then a quick break to greet and welcome, the children join us from their class, then our preaching service is at least two hours or longer with a time for singing following.

At times we've gone 2.5 hours or more just preaching the morning message, so the total teaching and preaching is an average of three hours plus! The service is usually finished somewhere around 1 pm or so, with fellowship after, and we arrive at church before 9! The morning officially starts at 9 am, so we're together 4-5 hours. This gets extended quite a bit on our once-monthly fellowship Sunday!

 

 

[Palimpsest]

I bet there is a stampede for the bathroom during the "quick break."  I think they do have a loo at the church now.

He is boasting again.  He doesn't seem to understand that it is quality, not quantity, that counts for most people.  Although there is some interactive content there (sword drills and singing), he is saying that he expects people to sit on their duffs and listen to him (or his converts) yap for more than 3 hours. 

My butt would be so numb!

[CTRLZero]

What are "sword drills"?  I picture throwing myself on one after the 1.5 hour mark, but that's probably not what it means.

[Palimpsest]

8 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

What are "sword drills"?  I picture throwing myself on one after the 1.5 hour mark, but that's probably not what it means.

I think the sword drills are like Biblical Trivial Pursuit.

[Coconut Flan]

Listening to John for hours would be pure torture. 

As for the sword drills oh good grief:

http://www.wholesomewords.org/family/sworddrill.pdf

http://ccsmb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Elementary-Bible.pdf

[Palimpsest]

7 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

As for the sword drills oh good grief:

http://www.wholesomewords.org/family/sworddrill.pdf

http://ccsmb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Elementary-Bible.pdf

Christ on a cracker! 

[Gobsmacked]

Just imagine having to sit for 3 hours +++ listening to Johns drivelling inane vacuous self.

That should earn the folk of Karfue passage through the pearly gates, no questions asked.

[formergothardite]

I really hated sword drills. They were popular in IFB churches. 

Still sounds like some of his members are rebelling against John.

Quote

Please continue praying for some members our church, Jacqueline and also Brian. Also keep Eugene in your prayers that God would break his heart.

Quote

Seeking to be contrite (crushed) and broken before my King,

John is so annoying. How do people take him seriously?

[Inky]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

Just imagine having to sit for 3 hours +++ listening to Johns drivelling inane vacuous self.

That should earn the folk of Karfue passage through the pearly gates, no questions asked.

Maybe John is a gifted speaker! Maybe they just sit there mesmerized by the copious pearls of wisdom pouring from the font of his mouth. 

Or...maybe there's food. I can't imagine what would draw people to his church. It doesn't sound like they do much for the community in general. 

[slickcat79]

Wow, he's just losing everyone, now isn't he?? Handia's moved away, it looks like Kennedy updated his work to "self employed" just a few days ago. He must be really freaking out over Arcade and Jolis returning to Burundi, since they were the most stuck in John's enterprise. If there is a split involving Roderick and Jacqueline, John is basically fucked. Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy 

[Mercer]

7 hours ago, Inky said:

Maybe John is a gifted speaker! Maybe they just sit there mesmerized by the copious pearls of wisdom pouring from the font of his mouth. 

Or...maybe there's food. I can't imagine what would draw people to his church. It doesn't sound like they do much for the community in general. 

There's probably food. Personally, I've gone to all kinds of crap for the promise of refreshments.