Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10

[SuperNova]

@feministxtianHe says never raced it on the track only on the street. He says he's taken up to 150 or so. He also says thanks. He's on motor number three. 

[atlantagirl30084]

Back to the craziness of the Shupe scheduling.  I was just thinking about how Ericka only allow(ed?)s 'fun' in short time periods, like two hours a week for fiction reading.  That made me so sad, mostly because I remember being a kid and getting into reading a book and reading it all at one go, even if it took all day.  That's not allowed at the Shupe house apparently.  Can you imagine being sucked into a great book, getting to a climactic chapter, and then your mom saying you have to stop and can't read any more for another week?  How frustrating must that be?  Especially for kids that loved to read (like I did), it would be a nightmare and would probably discourage kids who needed to read more.  Same with drawing and painting-those things don't fit into special time slots.  Sometime you get inspired to draw or paint all day, and it would be miserable to have to stop after you're only a quarter of the way done with your awesome project.  Many times, I don't think Ericka even likes or understands kids.

[church_of_dog]

12 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I wish we had passenger train service here. We had Amtrak service when I was a kid, then it stopped. They tried it again for awhile in the 90s, but I guess they didn't get enough riders, because it stopped again and hasn't restarted. There are times I would much rather take a vacation trip by something other than car, but our only other option is flying. 

I wish we had train service too.  I have to drive 120 miles in one direction or 150 miles in another direction to reach an Amtrak line.  We don't even have a Greyhound route nearby anymore (tiny towns, remote from anywhere).

WWJCD, I won't mention the town but you'll know what I'm referring to when I say it's the only place I've ever lived where I could actually walk from my house to the airport.  And even when I moved from that rental to other houses farther north, I worked south near the freeway and I would park my car in my [federal government] office parking lot and use my little wheelie cart to walk with my luggage out the parking lot, over the overpass and right to the airport.  Am I hallucinating that it was that nearby?  I know I did that at least once...  Off to Google Maps to see if I'm crazy...

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@church_of_dog--I think I'm over 400 miles away from an Amtrak station in one direction and 350 miles in the other direction. Completely impractical. 

If I'm thinking of the same town, the airport is right next to the freeway. It is a medium walk from north of the freeway to the airport. I can't think of any federal government offices nearby, but it's hard to keep track of all the offices around there. 

[Lurky]

5 hours ago, atlantagirl30084 said:

Back to the craziness of the Shupe scheduling.  I was just thinking about how Ericka only allow(ed?)s 'fun' in short time periods, like two hours a week for fiction reading.

Oh my goodness, that's the most ridiculous thing! 

It's also encouraging the kids to lie in the most ridiculous way.  EG reading, I dunno, Jane Austen's Emma, and claiming it's because it's a schoolbook, and they don't like it, because that way they get to read more.  Or if they really get into their history, they can't talk about enjoying it, or it will be "fun".   The idea of only being allowed to read for TWO HOURS A WEEK is giving me anxiety!

 

[Snarf Snarfblort]

Not sure if this has been covered already, but Erika is selling her homeschool curriculum on FB.  Looks like they're not going back.

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Snarf Snarfblort said:

Not sure if this has been covered already, but Erika is selling her homeschool curriculum on FB.  Looks like they're not going back.

The scene from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life  just popped into my mind. "Sorry kids. It's off to medical experiments for the lot of you!"   I hope finances aren't this bad in Shupeville. 

 

[Eternalbluepearl]

1 hour ago, Snarf Snarfblort said:

Not sure if this has been covered already, but Erika is selling her homeschool curriculum on FB.  Looks like they're not going back.

I noticed in a picture somewhere that the wooden shelf that held the homeschool materials in the dining room is gone now too and replaced by a fish tank. Erika was so proud of that shelf. 

 

Side note: It amazes me with Erika's obsessiveness about order, their tiny ass house, and their limited finances that she allows pets. A dog, birds, and now a bigger fish tank. 

[church_of_dog]

9 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I can't think of any federal government offices nearby, but it's hard to keep track of all the offices around there.

I google-mapped the area last night, and all I can say is, wow, things have changed a lot in the last 25 years.  As I guess is true for most places.

Not to mention -- wow, how did 25 years go by so fast?  

[SuperNova]

Does anyone know why she made such a drastic change? I'm not completely caught up and it seems like she's scrubbed her own sites. 

[usmcmom]

30 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Does anyone know why she made such a drastic change? I'm not completely caught up and it seems like she's scrubbed her own sites. 

They are not giving any hints at all about their reasons. Some people have called them out on the FLOP Facebook page but most are defending their "right to privacy."  

One commenter made a very good point by writing (and I am paraphrasing) "Homeschoolers should be the biggest advocates for freedom to choose how we educate our children."  Of course this was in defense of Erika's remaining silent on her reasons for change. Erika and her ilk were never big on respecting others' choices when she was a staunch homeschooler and anti "government schools."  

[Koala]

35 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Does anyone know why she made such a drastic change? 

Someone asked her about it on the post where she's selling homeschool supplies.

Erika replied: 

Quote

No. There are extensive circumstances which made it necessary for us to let the kids go to school this year. And it has been a very good year for both them and for me. Very good decision for us.

Another mom chimes in to report that her kids are also going to school.

Erika replies:

Quote

Bless you. =) I'm so glad that the freedom to make that choice has blessed you this year. *squeeze hugs*

Funny how now that Erika requires the public school's services, it's A-okay.  No lecture about eternal damnation or anything.

One might almost call it self serving.

[usmcmom]

You know, I wouldn't even mind if Erika remains forever silent about her reasons for sending her kids to school; although I now believe she does owe her followers an explanation. HOWEVER, an "enlightened" statement would be nice - something like "In the past we have been very strong advocates of homeschooling - to the point of criticizing those who chose public school. In light of our decision and need to utilize public schools, we now realize that there are many benefits to this form of edcucation and we more fully understand reasons for choosing it. We apologize for our criticism; as we realize it was made without full knowledge of 'the other side'."  

A little humility, while protecting her family's privacy, would go a long way with me. Based on some of the FLOP comments, I think others would appreciate it too. 

That is one of the things, that irks me the most about these families - their arrogance and hypocrisy. I won't be holding my breath for any such statement from the Shupes. 

[Koala]

I agree that an apology to her readers would go a long way. 

Erika did what a lot of fundies do.  She had a "conviction", and she tried desperately to put the burden of that conviction on her readers.

On Facebook she is talking about the blessing and freedom of public school, but she refuses to acknowledge that she denied other moms that same "grace".  When other moms needed the public schools, she issued "warnings" and insisted that their children would "suffer later" for having been to public school.  She said homeschooling was "God's direction" and again warned her readers that there would "be a judgement one day".

She put a weight on her readers, and in the end she couldn't/wouldn't carry that weight herself.  Then she simply shrugged it off, deleted all of the evidence, and pretended none of it ever happened.

Anyone who dared "warn" Erika about the eternal dangers of public schools, would automatically be deleted and banned.  Erika issues warnings to her readers, but requires back pats and reassurance for herself.  She obviously feels she deserves from her readers what she is not willing to extend to them.

Then, as the icing on top of the crazy cake,  Erika immediately tried to "school" seasoned moms on how to properly handle the public school experience.  No humility at all- she was an instant know it all on everything from snacks to after school pick up.

And ALL of that doesn't even address her radical change with skirts only, driving, and jobs

 

[Howl]

24 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

A little humility, while protecting her family's privacy, would go a long way with me. Based on some of the FLOP comments, I think others would appreciate it too. 

That is one of the things, that irks me the most about these families - their arrogance and hypocrisy. I won't be holding my breath for any such statement from the Shupes. 

Yup, yup and double up.  I don't think she realizes that at least some of her  devoted readers feel jerked around by her lack of candor and transparency now that she's done a 180 on her staunchest positions.  Especially those who used her to confirm themselves based on their shared beliefs. 

[SuperNova]

Yikes. Thanks @usmcmom and @Koala. I'm not even sure what to add to that. I read her blog back when she was still doing towel activities and single jelly bean treats. While I didn't agree with her teachings or methods, one could certainly say she was well organized, for whatever that's worth. She seemed to have her fan girls who loved her techniques. When I skimmed the new FLOP blog I couldn't believe how inane her advice was. Any mom worth her salt could do better. 

[Anonymousguest]

Yup, just a tiny show of humility is what I'd like to see. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

I think they should shut the blog down. They are no longer adhering to the lifestyle they were trying to promote and now It's just confusing. Lots of people keep a decluttered home, myself included. Homeschooling and child-scheduling were the big draws for readers. A homeschool mom who wants to see examples of how to shuffle her kids through different subjects and activities in 30 minute increments doesn't care that Erika eats a snack before picking the kids up. 

[mango_fandango]

She's not even posted anything on the blog since April 14th. I honestly think she has run out of ideas. Now that she's joined the majority who send their kids to public school, she has nothing to say. Homeschooling is still very niche, well, her brand was. She used to have a selling point. Now she has nothing. 

[mango_fandango]

An aside: when she wears glasses, Karen really looks like Melanie. Never really noticed it before.

[Koala]

40 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

She's not even posted anything on the blog since April 14th. I honestly think she has run out of ideas. Now that she's joined the majority who send their kids to public school, she has nothing to say. Homeschooling is still very niche, well, her brand was. She used to have a selling point. Now she has nothing. 

Ironically, she could probably write a halfway interesting blog if she wrote about her experience with unburdening her family of some of the fundamentalist rules they'd been following.

She could write about her reasons for changing her position on everything from homeschooling to skirts only.  She could write about what led her to those choices in the first place, and how it affected her family.

If Erika continues to blog, she should consider treating it as a diary, rather than a "how to" guide to life for other adults.  Deleting everything and moving on to the next thing she's pretending to be an expert on, is not the answer.

I think she would find many of her readers to be very forgiving of her past judgement of them, if she'd just admit that she was wrong and quit trying to be a know it all.  

 

Of course, if she did that, public school parents would have no idea how to make a snack, pack a lunch, or pick their kids up from school, so I guess the blog must go on...

[themothership]

I don't even think her house looks uncluttered anymore. She has so much crap shoved in there, it's claustrophobic.

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Ironically, she could probably write a halfway interesting blog if she wrote about her experience with unburdening her family of some of the fundamentalist rules they'd been following.

I wish I could upvote your post a thousand times!  Some of the families we follow are evolving and changing while pretending that NOTHING's CHANGED!  They could reach all their readers who are having doubts,  want to change but are afraid or don't know how, if they would just be honest and straightforward about the process of change in their own families.  

Indulging in one of my favorite activities on FJ, idle speculation, I'm wondering if this was all Bob's idea and Erika had to go along -- wifely submission after all.  I just don't see impetus for any kind of change coming from Erika -- control and mind numbing consistency are in her DNA.  Changes in the fundamentals is not. 

Here's something else to contemplate: Girl Power.  With the Jeubs and the Penningtons, for example, daughters ripped away the veneer of perfect-happy-patriarchal-SAHD-female submission and exposed the fractures in those families in a very public way.  The daughters, the least powerful actors in the patriarchal family paradigm, became powerful in rebellion and by telling the truth about their lives. 

With this in mind, might Karen have provided at least a little impetus for change in the Shupe family (job, driving, boyfriend, PANTS!) by being a bit rebellious? 

Anyway, I'm also wondering how much of an influence their pastor has in these kinds of decisions.  If their church is relatively small, the pastor and elders could be quite influential.  If fellow pastor/elders/parishioners are public school/PANTS!, it might be harder to hold the line on homeschool/skirts.  

ETA: I did visit the church's web site, and based on their reading list, they can't avoid being in the biblical manhood and womanhood camp (patriarchy).  How that manifests re: homeschooling/pants and other issues, I'm not sure.  See the recommended reading list here. 

[formergothardite]

Admitting that your past beliefs and behavior were wrong and that you have changed is very hard. It would take a lot of humility for Erika to come out and apologize for spending years shaming women for doing the exact same thing she is doing now. It is far easier to stick her fingers in her ears and scream "NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!!!!". No matter what caused the kids to be put in public school, I think Erika's pride is part of the reason she refuses to discuss it or acknowledge any change in beliefs. 

[SilverBeach]

22 hours ago, usmcmom said:

They are not giving any hints at all about their reasons. Some people have called them out on the FLOP Facebook page but most are defending their "right to privacy." 

 

Right to privacy my crack. Nobody is asking her to post their bank balance for heaven's sake! She put their life out there, does a complete turn around, and then is too arrogant to address the reasonable curiosity of her readers.

I respect people who grow in life and would give her a point or two if she would just admit her prior opinions were wrong in some way. If the changes are against her will, then ugh.

Folks should just stop reading or following her, I bet that would get her to open up.