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Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10


December

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Karen's been grooming Happy. At least he's still around.

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Karen's been grooming Happy. At least he's still around.

I thought she did a great job!  He looks well taken care of.

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That is just sad.  She will be out of there as quick and she can.  Melanie is a lot more withit then I ever thought

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I'm SO glad that Melanie is having these feelings though, because she will be running out of there and never looking back. 

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3 hours ago, themothership said:

How on earth is Erika SO anal but Karen is grooming Muffin (Happy?) in her bedroom?

Maybe Erika trusts that Karen will clean up afterwards? It's probably the best place for Karen to do it in; Erika has said before that (usually) only her and Bob are allowed in their bedroom, the kids can't come and go as they please. If a kid is in there, Erika has allowed them to be there, and the kid will only be in there for a set amount of time.

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1 minute ago, Howl said:

Wonder what the schedule is for teaching the older girls to drive?  

If I recall correctly she posted that she does not believe they need to know how to drive until age 18.  She had many reason for this - I don't remember them all but I think it boiled down to the fact that they don't need to go anywhere without the rest of the family.

I just went to the old Shupe blog to look for info on Erika's thoughts on kids driving..... it appears to me that she has scrubbed the blog of ALL comments.  I clicked on many of her older posts and there were zero comments on all of them.  Interesting because many of the comments were positive.  But some of her "sharp" comments about schooling and such have come back to bite her in the butt now that her kids are in public school so she must have removed everything.

 

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18 minutes ago, fundiefollower said:

If I recall correctly she posted that she does not believe they need to know how to drive until age 18.  She had many reason for this - I don't remember them all but I think it boiled down to the fact that they don't need to go anywhere without the rest of the family.

I just went to the old Shupe blog to look for info on Erika's thoughts on kids driving..... it appears to me that she has scrubbed the blog of ALL comments.  I clicked on many of her older posts and there were zero comments on all of them.  Interesting because many of the comments were positive.  But some of her "sharp" comments about schooling and such have come back to bite her in the butt now that her kids are in public school so she must have removed everything.

 

Erika on driving and jobs:

Quote

We will have them start driving at age 18 is the plan. We feel 16 is *way* too young (as do many other families we know). And there is no need yet. When they do drive it will be limited to local areas, and they'll always take a sibling with them.

They have not gotten jobs outside the home yet either at only ages 15 and 16. Again, no need, and not wise in our opinion to do so so young. I mean they've done some pet sitting with neighbors next door, and maybe some car washing/detailing this summer, but not actual employment. We do allow them to have money-earning jobs in our home so they can begin learning about using/saving money. They need to be developing all of their skills in keeping a home and homeschooling, etc. And they are learning a lot. There is no hurry to get a job and get out into the world so early. We have talked a great deal about what kind of work they would like to pursue and what skills they should then be developing and education to pursue that if they choose. 
 

 

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Funny that, Karen got her job at 17 and began learning to drive at around the same time. Although she only works in a gym, don't know if part time or not- it's not like there's much of a career path if you work in a gym. 

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

It's not like there's much of a career path if you work in a gym. 

For the right person, it can be a career path. My coach started working in a gym, she coached her kids track teams and now she owns her own business doing personal training and other athletic consulting. I did some math and she's making at least 70K. My other friend started working at the front desk at the gym and moved up. She does event planning. Another friend works on the advertising & graphic design side of things. 

 

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The reasoning of kids not needing to drive until 18 frustrates me. You may not urgently need a license/car before your 18th birthday, but you'll likely need one after. In most areas, no license/car limits your job options, independence and just overall convenience and comfort. It's also much easier to learn when you've got access to a family car (or the reduced price driver's ed that many high schools teach) vs. having to bribe friends into teaching you or affording private lessons when you're just starting out on your own. It's a life skill for most people just like learning how to budget your money or do your laundry. 

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34 minutes ago, December said:

The reasoning of kids not needing to drive until 18 frustrates me. You may not urgently need a license/car before your 18th birthday, but you'll likely need one after. In most areas, no license/car limits your job options, independence and just overall convenience and comfort. It's also much easier to learn when you've got access to a family car (or the reduced price driver's ed that many high schools teach) vs. having to bribe friends into teaching you or affording private lessons when you're just starting out on your own. It's a life skill for most people just like learning how to budget your money or do your laundry. 

And employers in car heavy areas look at having a driver's license as a sign of responsibility. Right or wrong, they do. Because people are idiots and think that responsibility means "being the same as everyone else." I didn't have my license until I was in my 20s (although I took driver's ed). I get tired of hearing about how "irresponsible" it is to not get one (even though it's expensive and unnecessary in plenty of places.) 

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4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Funny that, Karen got her job at 17 and began learning to drive at around the same time. Although she only works in a gym, don't know if part time or not- it's not like there's much of a career path if you work in a gym. 

Her Facebook page says she works I the daycare of the gym. 

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There are other economical and practical reasons for having kid wait until 18 to get their license. In WA you must have drivers ed if you are under 18, and I believe it's around $500, also insurance costs are significantly higher, even for girls, when you are under 18 ( it was literally double what we paid for our 18yr old son for my 16yr old girl). In OR there was an additional requirement; proof of school attendance, and people who had not filed a intent to homeschool (were noncompliant with the state)  couldn't get their permits. I believe this law still exists, but the man power behind it is gone and I was told they no longer need that form when kid come in the first time. I admit I had selfish reasons for wanting my kids to get their licenses, I was tired of driving then around. 

It's interesting that Karen got her license and job what must have been relatively shortly after Erica posted that. 

 

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I live in London so I don't technically *need* a car like I would if I lived in the countryside. I just have the Tube. Of course pretty much everyone has a car, and I will get my licence soon. We don't get drivers' ed in school, because we don't have the same system of electives in school. You get a provisional licence before your actual one. 

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Maybe I'm in a minority but I think it's important to know how to drive even if you don't own a car or have a great public transit system but maybe that's part of how I grew up. I can just think of how frequently it helps to be able to drive, even not just your own car. If a friend needs a designated driver even though they got to the bar themselves, you can take them home. My parents needed me to drive sometimes in high school -- to and from doctors appointments where you know you won't be able to drive afterwards. And, of course, in my teen days, since I learned to drive a little bit earlier than some of my friends, I occasionally had the experience to help back their car out of a pickle or a tight spot. 

In college, I didn't have a card but we drove rented vehicles to and from sports tournaments and we needed a certain number of people who could drive to make that happen. I also travel for work now and even though I drive my own vehicle (and get refunded based on federal rates), plenty of my coworkers don't own one but rent cars to get to conferences, etc.

I just can't imagine not being about to do it or having the ability to learn how to do it kept from me. 

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

I live in London so I don't technically *need* a car like I would if I lived in the countryside. I just have the Tube. Of course pretty much everyone has a car, and I will get my licence soon. We don't get drivers' ed in school, because we don't have the same system of electives in school. You get a provisional licence before your actual one. 

They don't do drivers ed in schools here either, neither Washington nor Oregon. Other states might. Which is why it's expensive to get your permit. 

I agree @Antimony is an important life skill.

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1 hour ago, Antimony said:

Maybe I'm in a minority but I think it's important to know how to drive even if you don't own a car or have a great public transit system but maybe that's part of how I grew up. I can just think of how frequently it helps to be able to drive, even not just your own car. If a friend needs a designated driver even though they got to the bar themselves, you can take them home. My parents needed me to drive sometimes in high school -- to and from doctors appointments where you know you won't be able to drive afterwards. And, of course, in my teen days, since I learned to drive a little bit earlier than some of my friends, I occasionally had the experience to help back their car out of a pickle or a tight spot. 

In college, I didn't have a card but we drove rented vehicles to and from sports tournaments and we needed a certain number of people who could drive to make that happen. I also travel for work now and even though I drive my own vehicle (and get refunded based on federal rates), plenty of my coworkers don't own one but rent cars to get to conferences, etc.

I just can't imagine not being about to do it or having the ability to learn how to do it kept from me. 

I agree. I also live in a place where I never ever need a car (public transport everywhere, nowhere to park, traffic jams everywhere meaning it's far slower to drive than to take public transport, etc). I still need to drive for work when I have a meeting far away and need to fly + rent a car. I don't think I'd have got the job if I didn't have a valid licence. Or when I go to see some relatives in remote places - makes me feel a lot better knowing I have the ability to just grab someone's car and drive them to hospital should the need ever arise. Or renting a van to move house. In this day and age, it's a life skill. Just like knowing how to sew a button - yes you might only own zipper clothes, yes you might never have faced a button falling off, but the day it happens, even if it's only once in a blue moon, you don't want to be the one with the blouse that gapes open having to ask someone if they can please sew up that button for you without looking at your front whilst doing so.

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I have my licence, but I drive maybe a couple times a year. I live in a city with great public transport, so I don't need a car. But, I'm still really glad I have it, and that I took it when I was 18. (You have to be 18 to drive here.) I would never have the money for it now, and although I never drive it's nice to know that I can if I have to. And there are some jobs where you need to have a licence. I worked as a photographer in a newspaper, and the rule is, the photographer always drives. 

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5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I live in London so I don't technically *need* a car like I would if I lived in the countryside. I just have the Tube. Of course pretty much everyone has a car, and I will get my licence soon. We don't get drivers' ed in school, because we don't have the same system of electives in school. You get a provisional licence before your actual one. 

Pretty much everyone has a car in london? Really? I lived in Chelsea (live in nanny) & none of my friends had cars. The only people I knew with cars where the rich. 

Maybe that's central london though and it's different further out? Like in Sydney, probably 50% of my friends had cars if we lived inner city (different now we have kids) but 80% would have cars if they lived further out.

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Melanie could walk or bus to the transit station from home and head on up to Bellingham to see church friends. It's pretty cheap and runs several times a day. A lot of students commute from Mount Vernon to the university in Bellingham by bus. So it's more than lack of a car and license that is keeping her from doing that.

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12 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

For the right person, it can be a career path. My coach started working in a gym, she coached her kids track teams and now she owns her own business doing personal training and other athletic consulting. I did some math and she's making at least 70K. My other friend started working at the front desk at the gym and moved up. She does event planning. Another friend works on the advertising & graphic design side of things. 

 

Given that the Shupes are against organized sports I don't know if they'd want Karen or Melanie do do any of that.

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