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Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10


December

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Seems like the twins' hair is much darker now. They look so much like Anna Marie.

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I find Karen's Facebook page very interesting this is her self-description/biography:

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Violinist. Artist. Sister. Friend. Daughter. Archer. Ultimate Frisbee team player. Hiker. Swimmer.

Doesn't say "Christian" or "follower of Christ" or "daughter of the King" or whatever these fundies usually call themselves anywhere in that list!

Here's her Facebook for anyone interested:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100017310181805&lst=1012563746%3A100017310181805%3A1495381648

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Interesting that she plays ultimate frisbee, a team sport. Erika was very against team sports at one point, with similar reasoning to the Maxwells. 

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2 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

It looks like Karen now has Facebook. Trying to stick to the no speculation rule, she has a photo (posted publicly) that, based on my own experience, I find disturbing and sad. 

But I'll admit, it's likely my own experiences are influencing how I feel about it, and what I think it means.

The tattoo? That surprised me. Wouldn't Erika flip out over a tattoo? 

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5 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The tattoo? That surprised me. Wouldn't Erika flip out over a tattoo? 

I think it's fake/drawn on. That's not what a fresh tattoo looks like. I can definitely see where, together with the bruises, it looks worrisome, but I think it's probably sports-related since it seems like Karen is pretty active. 

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Oh my. The videos of the kids dancing that Karen posted with Erika narrating... did not expect.

Something has definitely changed here.

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The only picture that really jumped out at me was the one of the family sitting around the dining room table. It just seems like they had such a tiny amount of food for 11 people, 9 of them growing kids. 

Karen is a really pretty girl, so is Melanie! 

 

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49 minutes ago, MakeitSew said:

The only picture that really jumped out at me was the one of the family sitting around the dining room table. It just seems like they had such a tiny amount of food for 11 people, 9 of them growing kids. 

Karen is a really pretty girl, so is Melanie! 

 

I agree about the food. I would have fixed that amount of salad for our family of four when the kids were teenagers. I am surprised Erika doesn't at least serve unlimited salad. It looks like a nice enough meal but I would have cooked a big bag of frozen veggies or even set out a plate of raw veggies. Even a couple cans of baked beans would add another filling option for the kids. I am guessing she limits the girls to one biscuit each, but both my son and daughter would have gone after those biscuits like mad. Actually, I would too. When I served biscuits we always had an extra one after the meal and topped it with butter and jelly or honey. That covered dessert, which I usually did not make.  The USMCFAMILY likes them some biscuits!!  

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Hmm. The bruises could easily be from archery. She holds the bow in her left hand. 

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I've always been fascinated by Erika and would love to know what caused the changes. Erika and Bob don't seem to have strayed too far from their original beliefs, so I'm of the opinion that the changes weren't totally their idea. It appears that some things never change- there is not nearly enough food on that table to feed all those people!

Whatever brought about the changes, I'm so glad that the Shupettes finally seem to have a bit of freedom! They've always seemed like pretty good kids. Karen seems to be really embracing change, and I hope that Melanie has the same opportunities soon.

Also I never realized just how much both Melanie and Karen look like Erika!

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I would have expected a much bigger bowl of salad too but then again the Shupe kids had salad every single day for most of their live so they probably love the fact that there isn't more of it. When I visit my sister we are often 8 or more people eating dinner and my sister's saladbowl is usually about double that in size and she still offers more than that for dinner for less people. 

I am not much for bread so for me the biscuits seem fine but I would offer more of salad and add a couple more things. The meat is probably fine but will be finished during that meal and leave no leftovers.

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1 hour ago, closetcagebaby said:

I think it's fake/drawn on. That's not what a fresh tattoo looks like. I can definitely see where, together with the bruises, it looks worrisome, but I think it's probably sports-related since it seems like Karen is pretty active. 

Yes, looks like sharpie to me, not tattoo. The bruise to me looked like it had an intentional mark in it, and combined with the "cherish tears" and sharpie on top is all too familiar to me with one of my kiddos. But it's hard to not project your own situation on others. I hope you are right. 

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I think Karen will be maybe fundie lite/conservative Christian when she moves out and has her own family. 

I know we've said this countless times, but it'll be interesting to see what the kids' relationships with Erika will be like once they've left home.

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What stood out to me in the dinner picture is that it appears the kids don't get to serve themselves, Erika is in control of the food. 

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1 minute ago, formergothardite said:

What stood out to me in the dinner picture is that it appears the kids don't get to serve themselves, Erika is in control of the food. 

I had just thought of that too. I don't understand the issue with food we see in these families. The parents are either so controlling (Lori Alexander/ Steve Maxwell) the kids get very little and certainly not a variety; or they have such large families they cannot afford to feed them properly (Duggars). Of course, it might be a combination of both, which I think is the case with Erika.  

If I saw two big pans of tuna casserole on the table, accompanied with canned peas, applesauce and bread and butter, I would feel much better about those kids and their meals.  Nutrition does not count for a lot when little tummies are constantly empty.  

Side note: Years ago, my husband started a new job and came home and said his boss had thirteen kids.  I thought that was so exciting and really admired this guy and his wife for their large family.  However, we once ran into this man at the mall and he had about six of his kids with him.  They were all in stained clothing that was too small; their hair was uncombed and they appeared to have a couple days worth of dirt and food on their hands and faces.  That is when I realized a large family is not so brag-worthy when you can't even wash your kids' hands and faces each day.  This is my thought on Zsu's kids.  The poor things always look as thought nobody gives them the dignity of simply being clean.  At last Erika's kids always look like somebody made an effort with them.  Of course they are probably starving so there appear to be no winners in these families.  

 

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So Karen is living independently, right?  So that leaves Melanie as the sister mom.  It will be very hard for Erika to let go of that, but I hope Melanie makes a stand for her independence.  

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@Howl what makes you think she's living independently? Lots of the photos are at the Hamster Cage of Horrors.

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59 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

@Howl what makes you think she's living independently? Lots of the photos are at the Hamster Cage of Horrors.

Did I misunderstand?  I took in the info that she has a job and boyfriend and assumed she was out of the house.   Eeeek if she's still living at Casa Shupe.  It would be super if she and Melanie could pool resources and get a little apartment.   A quick google search shows that Bellingham, WA has a Cost of Living 5.8% above the national average. 

That said, at least Melanie has quite a few day-time hours without hordes of kids around and even a tiny bit of time in the house alone while Erika is dropping off and picking up kids at school.  That will end in three weeks or so when school ends, but I hope she's enjoyed it in the interim. 

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11 minutes ago, Howl said:

Did I misunderstand?  I took in the info that she has a job and boyfriend and assumed she was out of the house.   Eeeek if she's still living at Casa Shupe.  It would be super if she and Melanie could pool resources and get a little apartment.   A quick google search shows that Bellingham, WA has a Cost of Living 5.8% above the national average. 

That said, at least Melanie has quite a few day-time hours without hordes of kids around and even a tiny bit of time in the house alone while Erika is dropping off and picking up kids at school.  That will end in three weeks or so when school ends, but I hope she's enjoyed it in the interim. 

As far as we know, she is still at home. I would be really amazed if she were living on her own. I do think that once Melanie graduates, she and Karen could potentially live in an apartment together.

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Erika has a lot of nerve thinking she doesn't need to explain anything to the great unwashed. I hope people stop reading her crap. 

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Melanie's post made me so sad. I have a daughter Melanie's age. My 17 year old is almost never home. She has school and friends, of course, that keep her busy. She also has school activities and trips related to those activities. On top of that, she has a job. She can also drive and loves the new independence that this brings. She is exhilarated and happy with the excitement of being a young adult. 

Poor Melanie has none of that. She is stuck at home doing workbooks and (I suspect) helping Erika with housework.

I'll bet Melanie would've loved to go to school. She does not seem shy, she seems active and outgoing and snarky. However, I don't see how she could pick up a senior's schedule. My daughter will take Calc 2 as a senior, and physics 2. Her friends that are less into STEM are taking things like Spanish 4 and Advanced Stage Design. Most of the senior classes have prerequisites that Melanie could not satisfy. She would have to take a freshman's schedule. She probably could not graduate with her class. I think she is better off "graduating" Erika's homeschool and taking remedial college classes.

I suspect that's why she is at home this year. Plus, if Erika is suffering from a severe mental illness, I bet they'd like Melanie at home to help her out. Laundry and cooking for 11 is a lot of work even when your kids do go to PS. 

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On 5/21/2017 at 8:19 AM, Anonymousguest said:

It looks like Karen now has Facebook. Trying to stick to the no speculation rule, she has a photo (posted publicly) that, based on my own experience, I find disturbing and sad. 

But I'll admit, it's likely my own experiences are influencing how I feel about it, and what I think it means.

If you're referring to what I think you are...I totally agree. Most people, that aren't dealing with some level of mental health, don't need to be told how great they are and that people want them around. That combined with some things I've seen on social media from M have me concerned for her well being. 

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More snooping, more Melanie conversations that stuck out to me. I redacted the boy's name because he's just an internet stranger and doesn't deserve to be outed. This was about 4 months ago.

We learn that Melanie is only taking 2 subjects this year and likely graduating this Spring. She's bored, but also clearly on a strict schedule with little time to pursue her hobbies. I have no doubt the rest of her schedule is mainly chores. She still sleeps in the top bunk of a triple. I know most fundie teenage girls live this way, but it's kind of heartbreaking to read first-hand.

Capture.PNG

[About their drawings]

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[About a stupid test "how will you die?"]

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[About spiders]

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53 minutes ago, Shiny said:

If you're referring to what I think you are...I totally agree. Most people, that aren't dealing with some level of mental health, don't need to be told how great they are and that people want them around. That combined with some things I've seen on social media from M have me concerned for her well being. 

At first I was wondering if she was referring to that post too, but it seems she actually meant the bruise picture. But yeah, Melanie seems really unhappy. Maybe Karen's post wasn't a response to that though. Karen did also write those nice little notes to the seven younger kids that time, so maybe she just likes to spontaneously write uplifting things to people.

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Melanie's comments are just plain depressing. I hope her life takes a turn for the better, soon. The Shupe house sounds even more miserable than the Maxwell house.

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