Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10

[mango_fandango]

Ah, that makes sense. I'm not sure how vaxxed you have to be in Britain, I'd assume you'd have to have the usual ones e.g. MMR, diphtheria/polio/tetanus etc.

[LadyCrow1313]

The word "flop" always makes me think of the term "flop house". I suspect, though, that Erica's house is in much better shape than an actual flophouse (thanks to her kids). :: beam ::

[anachronistic]

I don't think we get polio in the US anymore, actually.

[Anonymousguest]

4 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

I don't think we get polio in the US anymore, actually.

Yes we do.

[meee]

Remember the passive-aggressive fights Erika and Zsu used to have on FB?  I have to wonder if Zsu is gloating, haven been proven "right" since she's stayed more fundie than Erika.  

[princessmahina]

6 hours ago, meee said:

Remember the passive-aggressive fights Erika and Zsu used to have on FB?  I have to wonder if Zsu is gloating, haven been proven "right" since she's stayed more fundie than Erika.  

I desperately want Zsu to say something, because I love their passive aggressive fighting.

Though I have to say that it also made me really uncomfortable to be agreeing with Zsu.

[LovelyLuna]

20 hours ago, princessmahina said:

I desperately want Zsu to say something, because I love their passive aggressive fighting.

Though I have to say that it also made me really uncomfortable to be agreeing with Zsu.

I hope the opposite from everyone in her life. I SEVERELY want those kids to stay in public school. This is their way out, they get to get away from their super controlling mother and learn how ‘normal’ people live. This is the best decision that women has ever made for her kids. I loathe Erika but even I will give her an internet high five. *smile* 

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

I hope the opposite from everyone in her life. I SEVERELY want those kids to stay in public school. This is their way out, they get to get away from their super controlling mother and learn how ‘normal’ people live. This is the best decision that women has ever made for her kids. I loathe Erika but even I will give her an internet high five. *smile* 

I agree. Can you imagine how happy those kids are? They get to leave the house every day. They don't have to sit behind baby gates and play with one activity only for its intended purpose. They don't have to eat cold salads every day or face biblical "discipline." They don't have to be silent for two hours every afternoon!! They go out to play at recess, and can even get muddy. They are making friends, laughing at the class clown, going to music and singing, going to art and creating, going to gym and learning dodgeball. Most of the kids are in primary school, and primary schools do such fun stuff--paper mache, coloring, skits, games, activities. They'll get invited to playdates and birthday parties. (I hope they get to go.)

I don't see how she is ever going to get them back into homeschooling. They will become depressed. 

Though she would never admit it, I suspect Erika LOVES having the kids out of the house. It must be a huge relief to her. I wonder if she is honest admit to admit that PS is good for her kids. I think that would be hard to miss.

[princessmahina]

6 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

I hope the opposite from everyone in her life. I SEVERELY want those kids to stay in public school. This is their way out, they get to get away from their super controlling mother and learn how ‘normal’ people live. This is the best decision that women has ever made for her kids. I loathe Erika but even I will give her an internet high five. *smile* 

I don't think arguing with Zsu would make her pull her kids out. I think she'd double down and defend her choice as the right, godly one. This is Erika, after all. Everything she does is right *chuckle.*

[mango_fandango]

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

I agree. Can you imagine how happy those kids are? They get to leave the house every day. They don't have to sit behind baby gates and play with one activity only for its intended purpose. They don't have to eat cold salads every day or face biblical "discipline." They don't have to be silent for two hours every afternoon!! They go out to play at recess, and can even get muddy. They are making friends, laughing at the class clown, going to music and singing, going to art and creating, going to gym and learning dodgeball. Most of the kids are in primary school, and primary schools do such fun stuff--paper mache, coloring, skits, games, activities. They'll get invited to playdates and birthday parties. (I hope they get to go.)

I don't see how she is ever going to get them back into homeschooling. They will become depressed. 

Though she would never admit it, I suspect Erika LOVES having the kids out of the house. It must be a huge relief to her. I wonder if she is honest admit to admit that PS is good for her kids. I think that would be hard to miss.

She has said that PS has been a great decision for her family. Although that may have been situationally, aka a better solution for them than homeschooling at that point. But it may mean good for the kids too.

[Hisey]

The one I worry about is Brandon. Lots of reasons to be concerned:

1. middle school is a tough place to begin with

2. it's hard to start at a new middle school as an 8th grader

3. he is an unusually small 8th grader. Some boys in 7th or 8 tcan be as tall as six feet, and others are nearly as tall (My daughte is in middle school, and most of her friends are boys). Brandon, in contrast, is smaller than his 10 or 11 year old sister.

4. he's never been to any school before in his life

5. I'm not sure what grade Anna Marie is in, but there's a good chance Brandon is alone in that middle school, without any other Shupes

6. he seems to have learning deficits, either from a poor education at home or because of a learning disability. For example, at age 12 he was spelling "Mommy" as  "Momie"

7. He hasn't just been homeschooled, he's been socially isolated all his life. Seems like most "school days" were spent at home, and not in homeschooling coops or the like.

 

[mango_fandango]

I agree. The youngest four (Tyler, Spencer, Lacey and Lilly) are only in the early years of elementary, if Erika does decide to keep them in PS till they graduate HS then they'll have spent most of their school career in PS. Brandon won't have done. 

Anna Marie I think is 11 now, but started the academic year at 10 I think. That'd be 5th grade, right? Most of them would be elementary. 

I have just googled schools in Mt Vernon. There's one K-8 school, most are K-6. Of course we don't know which school they're at. 

(How does school work there? Do you just go to your nearest one? Cos there are schools in Bellingham which is where their church is. The schools there tend to be K-5 and 6-8.)

[Howl]

Holy Mother of Pearl!  Eleventy!!.1.!!!!11.1.1.!!! I lost interest in the Shupes for awhile and check in to congratulate on the FLOP! thread title and WHOA!  the Shupe brood are in public school. I have no way to express my amazement except eleventy, exclamation points and a few ALL CAPS!  

I mean, this beats out the Bradrick! divorce!  Can someone orient me to the general post where this came about and in which thread title?

I suspect that Erika's OCD has kicked in to high gear and she had to get the kids out of the house to indulge in planning, squaring things up precisely, organizing and organizing and organizing the pantry and garage and whatever rituals need to be completed. I am glad, glad, glad for her kids in public school and sad for the older girls who never had that experience.  Agree, though, with how hard it must be for a boy middle schooler to be in a sink or swim scenario.  Yes, there is crazy variety in levels of physical maturity.  Some boys are already in a testosterone haze while others are more like 5th graders.  Does anyone know what grade levels are in middle school?  Traditionally it's 7th and 8th, but by no means always in various cities and parts of the country. 

[Granwych]

Here in my corner of CT, middle school is 6th, 7th, and 8th grade.  I really believe that middle school is a harder adjustment for kids than high school.

[desertvixen]

Going right into middle school after being taught at home seems like hell.

We had a concept in Las Vegas known as "sixth-grade centers" that were only sixth-graders (and kindergarteners) but that had to do with busing and school integration, not making it easier for kids.  I attended sixth-grade near the end of this process.

(if anyone is interested: http://digital.library.unlv.edu/aae/sixth-grade-centers )

I'd agree with Granwych that middle school is the hardest part for kids.  My MiniVixen is going to be a sixth-grader next year (gulp).

[slickcat79]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

How does school work there? Do you just go to your nearest one? Cos there are schools in Bellingham which is where their church is. The schools there tend to be K-5 and 6-8.

The area is split into school districts, and you go to the school for the district you live in. This is most commonly the school closest to you, unless there's wonky districting going on, or your county will allow you to choose another school.

The Shupes are basically around the corner from a K-6 elementary school, I would be very surprised if the younger kids are not going there. But that would make Brandon potentially even more isolated.

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

Holy Mother of Pearl!  Eleventy!!.1.!!!!11.1.1.!!! I lost interest in the Shupes for awhile and check in to congratulate on the FLOP! thread title and WHOA!  the Shupe brood are in public school. I have no way to express my amazement except eleventy, exclamation points and a few ALL CAPS!  

I mean, this beats out the Bradrick! divorce!  Can someone orient me to the general post where this came about and in which thread title?

Our suspicions that the kids are in public school were only confirmed a couple of weeks ago. Discussion starts here:

The speculations had been going on since about August or maybe September, when Erika started hinting at PS. The discussions on that are probably all within that same thread since noch much was going on in Shupe-land up until a few weeks ago.

[Lurky]

Surely it's better to have to have the culture shock of going into Middle School, and then presumably getting a fresh start in High School, than it would have been to be kept at home and isolated while the other siblings are in grade school?  Or for them all to have been homeschooled all the way through? 

It'll be hard for him, but he'll at lease be able to adapt to the outside world, and hopefully there'll be support at school, counsellors etc, who can help him adapt?  Much harder than being Shuped until 18 and then thrown out into the world with no preparation at all.

(I have been wondering if maybe Karen going out to work has made them re-evaluate things too.  I still say, if I were the older girls, who bore the brunt of the experimental lifestyle, and had to sister-mom, I'd be resentful thaat my siblings had opportunities I was denied)

[Hisey]

35 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Surely it's better to have to have the culture shock of going into Middle School, and then presumably getting a fresh start in High School, than it would have been to be kept at home and isolated while the other siblings are in grade school?  Or for them all to have been homeschooled all the way through? 

It'll be hard for him, but he'll at lease be able to adapt to the outside world, and hopefully there'll be support at school, counsellors etc, who can help him adapt?  Much harder than being Shuped until 18 and then thrown out into the world with no preparation at all.

(I have been wondering if maybe Karen going out to work has made them re-evaluate things too.  I still say, if I were the older girls, who bore the brunt of the experimental lifestyle, and had to sister-mom, I'd be resentful thaat my siblings had opportunities I was denied)

I don't know. It depends. If he is getting help from special ed (if he needs it), and is accepted by his peers, then middle school is better. If he is getting beaten up every day and bullied, he's not learning anything anyway. If he has severe special needs, then perhaps being one-on-one with Erika is better, especially if she has more time for him now. Depends on the services offered at the school, too. Our middle school is wonderful, yet it has one counselor for about 750 kids, so she has very little time to provide individual assistance to anyone.

If Erika recognizes his special needs, and is prepared to help him during the day (by taking him to reading specialists, etc), then home is better. I mean, a "fresh start" in high school may not really help an adolescent boy who is a head shorter than his peers and reads at a fourth grade level. That's just throwing him into a situation that he can't possibly succeed at.

I wasn't saying middle school would be necessarily bad for Brandon. I said he was the one kid I was worried about in this transition. 

[mango_fandango]

1 hour ago, slickcat79 said:

The area is split into school districts, and you go to the school for the district you live in. This is most commonly the school closest to you, unless there's wonky districting going on, or your county will allow you to choose another school.

The Shupes are basically around the corner from a K-6 elementary school, I would be very surprised if the younger kids are not going there. But that would make Brandon potentially even more isolated.

Ah ok. It's a little different here. It sounds like a better system. Here you apply to schools and the LEA (education authority) allocates places, according to entry criteria. It can happen that a kid gets no school place, or doesn't get a place at the school closest to them but gets one at one further away. The admissions criteria can make things quite complicated. It's not the easiest to explain! 

I just saw too. The middle school looks to be further away than the elementary, so it's likely that that's why Brandon isn't in that group photo.

[Howl]

Wow, that was a trip.  Erika keeping everyone in suspense from August until January.  The whole thing where she inadvertently let ship that the oldest daughter got to see the sibs "after they got home from school" and then instantly purged the post was hilarious!  And then she's all like, "Hey! Events converged and it's great for our family!"   It drives me crazy when Fundy bloggers are "God's way or the highway!" and then Life.  Suddenly, things are different, but they are able to offer zero insight into how circumstances changed their beliefs, because they profess that beliefs don't change with circumstances.  Yeah for cognitive dissonance. 

This reminds me in some ways of the Penningtons.  Lisa Pennington is still homeschooling like a boss WITH THE KIDS WHO REMAIN AT HOME.  

If you recall, she was all about SAHD.  I mean seriously all about SAHD.   When Faith bolted with the attendant publicity and aftermath, she stopped discussing her personal life on her blog and instead started shilling her book and essential oils at The Pennington Point.  However, on one update, it became apparent that there were three and possibly four unmarried daughters living away from home in other cities (Dallas/Fort Worth, Austin, San Antonio), although the oldest may now be married. How this immense change from SAHD only to daughters living on their own was (surprise!) never mentioned or discussed by Lisa, who basically pretends that "SAHD-only" never happened.  Essential oils are, apparently, powerful enough to alter reality and change the past.  Maybe that's the secret to why people buy them. 

And now we have Old Erika and New Erika.  There's a 180 degree change, but you'd never know it! 

Old Shupe reality: Gubmint schools are evil and of the devil. 

New Shupe reality: Gubmint schools great for our family, and I hid that fact for almost five months. 

[Lurky]

19 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I don't know. It depends. If he is getting help from special ed (if he needs it), and is accepted by his peers, then middle school is better. If he is getting beaten up every day and bullied, he's not learning anything anyway. If he has severe special needs, then perhaps being one-on-one with Erika is better, especially if she has more time for him now. Depends on the services offered at the school, too. Our middle school is wonderful, yet it has one counselor for about 750 kids, so she has very little time to provide individual assistance to anyone.

If Erika recognizes his special needs, and is prepared to help him during the day (by taking him to reading specialists, etc), then home is better. I mean, a "fresh start" in high school may not really help an adolescent boy who is a head shorter than his peers and reads at a fourth grade level. That's just throwing him into a situation that he can't possibly succeed at.

Do we actually know he has special needs, BTW, or is this conjecture?  I mean, writing "momie" could have been anything from special needs to a cute nickname ("Marmie", from Little Women") to just not being careful that day. 

If we know he's been diagnosed, that's one thing, but I am always very, very hesitant to diagnose learning disabilities or special needs from thing like his height, or one spelling (my brother was very short, and as a grown up is now 5'5", and bad at spelling eg, and we moved to a different country as a child, to a school system where he was literally the youngest kid in his class, and probably a head shorter too, rather than one of the oldest, and he turned out fine).  Many apologies if there is some diagnosis I don't know about - I'm new to the Shupes.

[LovelyLuna]

I think bullying is a serious problem that should not be taken lightly. Haven said that, I would rather be bullied, even beat up by peers then emotional and psychically abused by my mother.

[princessmahina]

25 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

I think bullying is a serious problem that should not be taken lightly. Haven said that, I would rather be bullied, even beat up by peers then emotional and psychically abused by my mother.

If he was emotionally and physically abused at home before he started school, I don't see why that would stop now. He's still going to be around her in the mornings and evenings. 

I hope Brandon isn't getting bullied, but I remember middle school well. I was sporadically popular, and even then people were mean.

[MamaJunebug]

5 hours ago, Lurky said:

Surely it's better to have to have the culture shock of going into Middle School, and then presumably getting a fresh start in High School, than it would have been to be kept at home and isolated while the other siblings are in grade school?  Or for them all to have been homeschooled all the way through? 

It'll be hard for him, but he'll at lease be able to adapt to the outside world, and hopefully there'll be support at school, counsellors etc, who can help him adapt?  Much harder than being Shuped until 18 and then thrown out into the world with no preparation at all.

(I have been wondering if maybe Karen going out to work has made them re-evaluate things too.  I still say, if I were the older girls, who bore the brunt of the experimental lifestyle, and had to sister-mom, I'd be resentful thaat my siblings had opportunities I was denied)

Depending upon how he tested, he might be in 4th or 5th grade in an elementary school, right? In which case his small stature would be  a lot less noticeable.