Peter Bradrick files for Divorce

[apandaaries]

Kelly was the one who was dragged to Europe almost immediately postpartum and then life flighted to a hospital due to hemorrhaging, yes? 

Man, I must be the only happily divorced lady (and mother) here, but I'd be glad to be moving on and away.  Peter may have stood up to DP, the Tool & Rapist, but he doesn't seem to have been doing right by his wife.  He may have still been involved in VF then, but that doesn't bode well for how he'd treat the missus in the future.   Divorce isn't easy, but it's FAR preferable to a bad marriage, at least in my experience.

Hope the children are doing well, and that the Bradrick parents are able to grow and learn from what is often a painful time.   

[DomWackTroll]

2 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

Kelly was the one who was dragged to Europe almost immediately postpartum and then life flighted to a hospital due to hemorrhaging, yes? Man, I must be the only happily divorced mother here, but I'd be glad to be moving on and away.  Peter may have stood up to DP, the Tool & Rapist, but he doesn't seem to have been doing right by his wife.  He may have still been involved in VF then, but that doesn't bode well for how he'd treat the missus in the future.   Divorce isn't easy, but it's FAR preferable to a bad marriage, at least in my experience.

It's not that I think divorce is inherently bad; it can definitely be the right choice in some circumstances. But as you said, it isn't easy, and these are two people who have already suffered real trauma. I think many of us on FJ just hoped that they could find peace together rather than face even more instability.

Now, yes, perhaps that's too romantic. Some of us hoped the same for Nolan and Lourdes, and that situation was definitely not right for Lourdes. 

[MamaJunebug]

My first thought was, "I'm heartbroken " and my second thought was, "Why?"

Perhaps because my insect mind had started to associate Peter'ssmiling face with DomWackTroll, my own true hero. 

No ... it's because of 8 truly broken hearts. Boots on ground, my mommy and daddy aren't together and so much is beyond my control, bewilderment broken hearts.

And even if one of them has somebody on the side, there was still heartbreak along the way to prompt whatever really happened. 

And mostly because I've got the distinct feeling that Kelly will be "welcomed" back into the sticky folds of her family of origin **as long as she toes the NCFIC line *to *a *tee!**

NCFIC/VF masquerading as god's mouthpieces. Talk about wolves in sheeps' clothing. Blisters on the face of humanity!

[DamnPrecious]

Wow.

[apandaaries]

5 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

It's not that I think divorce is inherently bad; it can definitely be the right choice in some circumstances. But as you said, it isn't easy, and these are two people who have already suffered real trauma. I think many of us on FJ just hoped that they could find peace together rather than face even more instability.

Now, yes, perhaps that's too romantic. Some of us hoped the same for Nolan and Lourdes, and that situation was definitely not right for Lourdes. 

I have a strong tendency toward cynicism, and it seems to be most pronounced around "happily ever after" scenarios -- even when hard work is factored into those scenarios.  I certainly feel for them, as divorce isn't easy, but it's often so much preferable to the alternative. Given the un-learning that Peter (and Kelly) would need following the patriarchal upbringing to create a happy marriage...well, I didn't figure the odds were in their favor.  

I hope everyone who needs some solid, secular therapy gets it, and I also hope that Kelly is able to stay away from her family.  My impression of her father, from what I've read online, is quite negative. It'd be lovely for her to get to know the world on her own terms, and not those dictated to her by the patriarchy.

 

[hoipolloi]

21 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

It's not that I think divorce is inherently bad; it can definitely be the right choice in some circumstances.

Oh yes. There's the awful divorce case of Josh & Sarah Wean. He was VF's CFO and they were regularly featured on Doug's Blog as junior A-listers on their way to a full quiver. Reading that case summary makes me think that Sarah is well out of that marriage. 

 

25 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

these are two people who have already suffered real trauma. I think many of us on FJ just hoped that they could find peace together rather than face even more instability.

This exactly. The cross-country move seemed to symbolize a lot of good, healthy things for them as a family despite being nearer to the senior Bradricks, who are both assholes. 

 

4 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

It'd be lovely for her to get to know the world on her own terms, and not those dictated to her by the patriarchy.

And amen to this as well -- hopefully, with clarity will come strength and purpose, allowing her to go her own way and not get sucked back into the NCFIC or Bradrick cults.

[DomWackTroll]

2 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

And mostly because I've got the distinct feeling that Kelly will be "welcomed" back into the sticky folds of her family of origin **as long as she toes the NCFIC line *to *a *tee!**

Oy, MJB... I hadn't even thought that far ahead yet. Now I'm imagining the worst case scenarios as far as potential remarriages engineered by Scotty Dearest. I have a feeling the poor girl just missed the express train to Spanksville. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

Oh yes. There's the awful divorce case of Josh & Sarah Wean. He was VF's CFO and they were regularly featured on Doug's Blog as junior A-listers on their way to a full quiver. Reading that case summary makes me think that Sarah is well out of that marriage. 

I wasn't familiar with that.  According to the link you provided, Sarah got the kids and Josh got a protective order "based on the finding of family violence".   I wonder if the family violence resulting in scrapes and bruises was business as usual patriarchal discipline. 

 

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

despite being nearer to the senior Bradricks, who are both assholes. 

Succinct and fairly accurate, IIRC.

5 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

Wow, this saddens me. Who knows what a wonderful life together Peter and Kelly might have had if they'd just been allowed to be normal kids falling in love in the normal way? 

One thing I'll say for Peter, he's always seemed to have a good work ethic. And God knows he'll need it now. 

.....and really gotten to know each other before 6 kids arrived in rapid succession.  

I'm quite relieved that things wrapped up before Kelly was "blessed" with yet another pregnancy. 

[Tangy Bee]

Hey, when did Kelly get a nose ring?? Is she trying to be a hip and trendy fundie? There are lots of those in CA and OR.

[Granwych]

2 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Hey, when did Kelly get a nose ring?? Is she trying to be a hip and trendy fundie? There are lots of those in CA and OR.

Maybe the nose ring scratched a part of Peter's anatomy...

[browngrl]

This has shocked me out of lurkdom. I had wondered about Peter and Kelly when I didn't see any news of a new blessing since 2014. I assumed it was due to fertility issues following Kelly's troubled post partum course with the last (?second last) child but I did not expect a divorce. I agree with the other person who speculated that perhaps Peter grew less and less fundie after the whole Doug thing while Kelly remained hard core. I guess I should not be so shocked because I've read about a number of fundy cases where the husband either left fundamentalism officially or on the sneaky down low while the wife stayed in that world. Perhaps Anna Dugger is the only one I've seen stay in the public eye and even if it is only peripherally on her sister-in-laws' tv show. I think divorce is hard enough -even in a non-fundie environment so I can't imagine what it must be like in Scott Brown's fundie pit.

 

edited to add :nose ring! oh my I am out of touch with Kelly

[Lurky]

As a divorced child, it's far, far better for parents to divorce than to live together unhappily.  Kids are perceptive, and parents fighting, or passive aggressive not-fighting, sniping at each other etc, is a really anxious situation.  And kids are also resilient and adaptable, so coping with two households etc, where the parents are more calm and relaxed at home, and don't make it hard for the kids to see the other parent, is not this huge big deal.

I know the "I feel sorry for the children" posters are not intending it, but divorce is by no means the worst thing that can happen to children, especially small kids, who won't remember anything different.  I mean, of course two happy parents, working in equal partnership to build a life together is best, but let's face it, that's NOT what IFB marriage promotes.  These kids will grow up seeing their mother be a strong person, and that's a punch in the eye to the fundy idea of weak, pathetic women, reliant on her man for everything.

(Apologies for soapboxing, but it's weird for me to see people talking like the kids will automatically suffer, when I know for a fact it can be better for a lot of kids.  Bear in mind any stats saying kids do worse after divorce are comparing to all marriages, not the bad, "I wish I could divorce by feel I shouldn't" types)

[Marian the Librarian]

I've always appreciated the saying that goes something like "The only people who truly know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in that marriage." We can only speculate - but I've been around these FJ parts long enough to remember the Ginormous-In-Fundie-Circles fuss being made about Peter and Kelly's courtship and wedding. Kelly's father (Scottie Brown) subjected Peter to intense and lengthy questioning, and asked him to write many "position papers" on theological minutae. Kelly was quoted as saying that her father fell in love with Peter before she did.

P & K's courtship and marriage were featured prominently - lauded as the Holiest of Holies, really - by the Botkinettes in their loathsome "Return of the Daughters" DVD, which was my gateway to the Botkin/VF/DPIAT rabbit hole, and thus to FJ. Return of the Daughters is now conveniently available in its entirety on You Tube (thank you to whoever pointed this out on Julie Anne's Spiritual Sounding Board blog!) There is much breathless, worshipful waxing rhapsodic about Peter and Kelly's relationship ("blazing a trail back to the Biblical principles foundations of marriage"), and I remember wondering how any young marriage could survive that level of scrutiny and expectation of perfection.

Here's the link. The section on Peter and Kelly begins at 32:20. Get popcorn and the beverage of your choice ready, and know that rescue ferrets are on call 24/7.

 

[ChunkyBarbie]

I have followed Kelly on Pinterest for about a year. She has had the nose piercing for at least that long, IIIRC. 

[DomWackTroll]

17 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

I've always appreciated the saying that goes something like "The only people who truly know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in that marriage." We can only speculate - but I've been around these FJ parts long enough to remember the Ginormous-In-Fundie-Circles fuss being made about Peter and Kelly's courtship and wedding. Kelly's father (Scottie Brown) subjected Peter to intense and lengthy questioning, and asked him to write many "position papers" on theological minutae. Kelly was quoted as saying that her father fell in love with Peter before she did.

P & K's courtship and marriage were featured prominently - lauded as the Holiest of Holies, really - by the Botkinettes in their loathsome "Return of the Daughters" DVD, which was my gateway to the Botkin/VF/DPIAT rabbit hole, and thus to FJ. Return of the Daughters is now conveniently available in its entirety on You Tube (thank you to whoever pointed this out on Julie Anne's Spiritual Sounding Board blog!) There is much breathless, worshipful waxing rhapsodic about Peter and Kelly's relationship ("blazing a trail back to the Biblical principles of marriage"), and I remember wondering how any young marriage could survive that level of scrutiny and expectation of perfection.

Here's the link. The section on Peter and Kelly begins at 32:20. Get popcorn and the beverage of your choice ready, and know that rescue ferrets are on call 24/7.

 

Marian, you rule!!! I have been wanting to watch this for sooooo long!

[Howl]

"The new byproduct of feminism -- prolonged singleness."  

Coming from -- wait for it -- the Botkin sisters, the poster girls for prolonged singleness. 

And Kelly talking about a husband as a tool for sanctification.....

 

[hoipolloi]

49 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Here's the link. The section on Peter and Kelly begins at 32:20. Get popcorn and the beverage of your choice ready, and know that rescue ferrets are on call 24/7.

Gotta say the intro by les Botkinettes is absolutely stunning in its total irony and what-the-fuckery:
 

Quote

 

Girls are confused about how to deal with a new by-product of feminism: prolonged singleness.

For the first time in America's history, young women are encountering a wide gap between coming of age and the time when they marry, if they marry.

 

ETA: @Howl - great minds think alike, and all that!

[DomWackTroll]

I'm listening to Jay Valenti's accent and wondering where he's from. Also wondering how an Italian-American dude got mixed up in the craziest form of Protestantism ever. 

ETA: Uh-oh, there's li'l Katie with a baseball bat. You know what that means. The "F word."

ETA: "He's now ministering to our lost family members." The "C word." 

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

Oy, MJB... I hadn't even thought that far ahead yet. Now I'm imagining the worst case scenarios as far as potential remarriages engineered by Scotty Dearest. I have a feeling the poor girl just missed the express train to Spanksville. 

Well, my friend, this is a first in our relationship: something you wrote just made me go "Eww"!!!! LOL (& an extra "good luck" to The 2nd Mrs. Sproul)!

49 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

I'm listening to Jay Valenti's accent and wondering where he's from. Also wondering how an Italian-American dude got mixed up in the craziest form of Protestantism ever. 

ETA: Uh-oh, there's li'l Katie with a baseball bat. You know what that means. The "F word."

ETA: "He's now ministering to our lost family members." The "C word." 

Isn't the Valenti family from southern Louisiana? New Orleanian-area accents often have an NYC component to 'em and I don't remember why. But see Connick, Jr., Harry -- if you didn't know he was from NOLA to begin with, you'd think a few different things before you found out.

PS: LOVVVE Harry Connick, Jr.! His new daytime show is a treat. 

[DomWackTroll]

13 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Isn't the Valenti family from southern Louisiana? New Orleanian-area accents often have an NYC component to 'em and I don't remember why. 

Ah, I see. It definitely does sound East Coast, if not specifically New York. 

[nausicaa]

Wowza. It's been a while since a Free Jinger thread title made me catch my breath. The Calvinist gold standard of couples is getting a divorce?

I'm guessing they must have been pretty unhappy if they are willing to legally divorce, since both were raised to care so much about appearances, and their marriage has always been under such a microscope. Also, financially it will be a strain. Like others, I wonder where Kelly will live and if Bradrick will make enough to support two houses. 

Does anyone know their stance on divorcees remarrying?

[Cleopatra7]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

Wowza. It's been a while since a Free Jinger thread title made me catch my breath. The Calvinist gold standard of couples is getting a divorce?

I'm guessing they must have been pretty unhappy if they are willing to legally divorce, since both were raised to care so much about appearances, and their marriage has always been under such a microscope. Also, financially it will be a strain. Like others, I wonder where Kelly will live and if Bradrick will make enough to support two houses. 

Does anyone know their stance on divorcees remarrying?

You know you're a hard-core FJer when the divorce of Peter and Kelly Crawford is more shocking and interesting to you than the divorce of Brangelina. I would like to think that Kelly is becoming more secular and trying to have a more mainstream life, but I fear she'll just end up living with her parents and treated the black sheep of her family because of the divorce.

[Black Aliss]

As a frequent passenger on the Idle Speculation Bus, I can come up with only one scenario that makes sense.

Unlikely as it might seem to those of us with taste, Peter was having an affair. The mistress is now with child. Peter must do the decent thing and marry the lass. Perhaps Kelly refused to initiate divorce proceedings so Peter had to do it himself, because it is customary to allow the wronged spouse to initiate the divorce.

[snowgirl]

What is the No Gossip rule?

[Clementine]

7 hours ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

I have followed Kelly on Pinterest for about a year. She has had the nose piercing for at least that long, IIIRC. 

She has pinned cocktail recipes. (Cocktails with alcohol.) Having a nose piercing and drinking Mango Mojitos doesn't sound very fundy wife.
 

Kelly seems to be a very intelligent woman. She was 21 when she was married and had lived a very sheltered SAHD life until then. It may be possible that she, after growing more mature and having new experiences, is just tired of listening to all the fundie BS and wants a normal life. It must be particularly hard to have to listen to your husband's lectures when it's obvious that you are smarter than him.