Tori Bates' courtship- Part 3 Now Engaged - September 2017

[nausicaa]

"Hurry up Tori!"

Yeah Tori, you're 21 already, hurry it up. Jesus, Kelly...

[RosyDaisy]

Tori looks gorgeous in that picture. I don't think that is her purity ring. I looks too big. I could be wrong though.

[Carm_88]

33 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

"Hurry up Tori!"

Yeah Tori, you're 21 already, hurry it up. Jesus, Kelly...

That's ridiculous. Kelly, you need to grow up. 

[justmy2cents]

Kelly's pushing them as hard as she was pushing Brandon to propose to Michael even though she knew he was waiting to finish some course I think. 

[zygote373]

Kelly responded to someone asking if they are engaged: "No, not yet... although it's no secret they are heading there fast lol! I think that now that Bobby has graduated time is gonna fly! Tori has one year left, so I expect it'll be in their mind to start planning"

Seems like it's her purity ring. I don't think they'd outright lie if she were actually engaged, they just wouldn't respond or would hedge.

I'm mostly shocked they posted a picture where you can see so much of her torso with that sleeveless shirt. How scandalous...

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

That's ridiculous. Kelly, you need to grow up. 

She really does come off as an immature peer to her adult daughters in that comment, doesn't she? I do get the feeling she relies on them too much as friends. 

[Flossie]

That young lady and her beau seem way too comfortable in close quarters.  I wouldn't be surprised if <gasp> they've kissed!  

Maybe that's why Kelly is urging them to hurry up with the engagement and the wedding.  Got to lock them down in holy matrimony before they tear each other's clothes off.

[WhoompThereItIs]

On 5/5/2017 at 6:11 AM, ak1188 said:

Mr. AK and I are planning our own very, very small wedding for this August and even that is stressing me out. Our family situation is complicated, so we've chosen to do a small civil ceremony with our four closest friends as guests, followed by food and booze at a restaurant managed by another good friend. While neither of us likes to be fussed over, I want to do everything I can to make the day feel special, since we're only going to do this once.

This is similar to what my husband (still getting used to calling him that) and I did last month :-) Neither of us likes being the center of attention, and we didn't want the stress of planning a huge affair. We only invited immediate family to the civil ceremony, went out for brunch afterwards, and then attended a local festival the following day.  We're thinking of doing a larger reception some time in the future, but haven't though that far ahead yet.

[Kangaroo]

It wouldn't shock me if Bobby had already "asked permission" to marry Tori and was told not a day earlier than her graduation.

At this stage I'm expecting Bobby is going to come up on stage mid graduation when we're getting a surprise wedding then and there. Can't have a girl getting an "education" and thinking she might be able to use it when she's got a suitor, after all! 

[MadeItOut]

9 hours ago, nausicaa said:

"Hurry up Tori!"

Yeah Tori, you're 21 already, hurry it up. Jesus, Kelly...

This ^^^ just totally made me double take - it's at the top of the page and the banner ad I'm getting just now is a bride who looks remarkably like Tori if you only glance quickly. Totally broke my brain for a second there.

[sunshine]

I think they think it is appropriate for the parents to be obessive over potential marriage while the girl patiently waits for the guy to ask. For instance, joy mentioned that she does not know when she will get engaged for that is between Austin and her dad. Same rules apply here.

[neurogirl]

Wait, I was taking it to mean Tori didn't want to actually sign the marriage papers until she graduates. Did she say she didn't want to get engaged either until then? Not that she would have a long engagement either way I guess...I was assuming he would propose sometime this year and her family could plan it for her (since she wants that) while she's still in school. 

[justmy2cents]

In a promo for next season Tori said that she'd like to get married after her graduation but that plans can change. I have a feeling that those plans will change.

[Melissa1977]

15 hours ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

This is similar to what my husband (still getting used to calling him that) and I did last month :-) Neither of us likes being the center of attention, and we didn't want the stress of planning a huge affair. We only invited immediate family to the civil ceremony, went out for brunch afterwards, and then attended a local festival the following day. 

That was my wedding, too. Just immediate family, a civil ceremony and a nice dinner. It was romantic, it was beautiful, but it was simple and private.

[Melissa1977]

On 5/5/2017 at 0:11 PM, ak1188 said:

Mr. AK and I are planning our own very, very small wedding for this August and even that is stressing me out. Our family situation is complicated, so we've chosen to do a small civil ceremony with our four closest friends as guests, followed by food and booze at a restaurant managed by another good friend. While neither of us likes to be fussed over, I want to do everything I can to make the day feel special, since we're only going to do this once.
 

My wedding was small but it doesn't mean it can't be special. I used rustic centerpiedes for the table, I choose a fancy restaurant which was an old farm and it was a beautiful place for taking pictures. I prepared a little present for every guest, who were immediate family. And the food was special, too, including a little wedding cake. I wore a cocktail dress, not a bridal gown, but it wasn't "just a dress", went to hairdresser's etc.

I wish you a very beautiful wedding day. Just a couple details can turn something "normal" to something fancy. Enjoy it!

[Jana814]

If I were to ever get married I would want to have a small wedding. My "cousin" (really my aunt's nephew) just went to a courthouse in California with his now wife and signed a couple of papers. Honestly the only reason why they got married was to protect themselves and their 2 kids in case something happened to one of them. 

[HereticHick]

9 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

In a promo for next season Tori said that she'd like to get married after her graduation but that plans can change. I have a feeling that those plans will change.

I think part of the issue is not knowing where Bobby will be employed now that he's graduated. If he can get a job (I guess some sort of youth ministry internship?) in East Tennessee I can see them perhaps getting married over winter break.

[seraaa]

Does the fact that she's waiting mean that it would be ~unacceptable~ for her to be wife and attend college, or is this just their personal choice?

(I guess they'd have to stay in Tennessee while she finished up, and maybe that doesn't fit with his next plans. Or maybe she just doesn't want to have to deal with wedding planning and graduating at the same time).

ETA: I see she wants her family majorly involved in planning. hmmm

[Dandruff]

On 5/12/2017 at 10:46 AM, HereticHick said:

I think part of the issue is not knowing where Bobby will be employed now that he's graduated. If he can get a job (I guess some sort of youth ministry internship?) in East Tennessee I can see them perhaps getting married over winter break.

I'm sure, given the Bates connections, that Bobby could find a job in East TN.  Maybe the place Chad works?  He just needs to be saving money vs. using his degree right now.  Ultimately, I can easily imagine the two of them running some sort of Jesus camp.

[faraway]

I expect an engagement soon and a November or December wedding. Tori will likely graduate pregnant (so did Erin, if she wouldn't have miscarried she would have given birth before finishing clown). I do think Tori prioritizes graduating more but an engagement after she graduates is probably not realistic in the fundie world. 

[marmalade]

Even if Erin got knocked up on her wedding night, she would have only been 6 months along at most. Graduation from Clown is in early May. So, just November (forget exact date, towards the beginning?) to early May. 

I can totally buy Tori doing wedding planning this summer to get it over with and getting married over winter break. 

Chad works at a metal fabrication place. I suppose he could work there until he found something more permanent. Zach also worked there before he went to the Academy. I'm sure it's run by the "right" kind of Christians, so there would be no fear of defraudment. 

[faraway]

@marmelade you're right, I remembered it wrong. I thought they had gotten married earlier and that she was pregnant with Carson when she graduated, which she wasn't.

But I suppose getting married 1 semester before graduating makes sense in their circles. Baby's very unlikely to be born before they're done and they don't have to stretch out courtship/enagagement any longer.

[VelociRapture]

8 hours ago, faraway said:

@marmelade you're right, I remembered it wrong. I thought they had gotten married earlier and that she was pregnant with Carson when she graduated, which she wasn't.

Carson was born about a year after she graduated. Erin had already experienced at least one miscarriage about two months before she graduated.

@marmaladeI believe the wedding was November 2, 2013. It was Bill Gothard's birthday which is why they had the cake for him at the reception - rebranded as a Groom's cake by Kelly after the Board gave him the boot. 

On 5/13/2017 at 0:43 PM, seraaa said:

Does the fact that she's waiting mean that it would be ~unacceptable~ for her to be wife and attend college, or is this just their personal choice?

Likely a personal choice. Erin married Chad about six months before she graduated Crown and Michael Keilen finished her Associate's after she got married too. And I think Whit might have been just finishing her Associate's  (or close to it) when she and Zach married.

I'm going to go ahead and guess that they'll get engaged next year. Bobby will know where he's working and living, he'll have time to save a bit, Tori will be done with school, and there's a precedent for a long courtship amongst the Bateses (Michael and Brandon courted about two years or so.) Tori and Bobby have been courting since last fall, so it's not like it'd be weird for them to wait a bit if that's what worked best. 

I'd guess engagement between January and March, followed by a May or June wedding. 

[faraway]

Michael and Brandon started courting over new year's and got married in the summer the year after. Engagement was in spring (cherry blossoms in D.C.). So from starting courtship to wedding it was about 1.5 years and that seemed long in Bates terms. I don't think Tori and Bobbi will wait that long, they probably had a "special friends" stage before courtship too.

[VelociRapture]

Just when I think I'm starting to keep track of these things...

@farawayis correct. Courting began around the start of 2014 (before January 3), engagement early April 2015 (right after Allie Jane Webster was born, and married around August 15, 2015. So I'd say a similar timeline isn't out of the question for Tori and Bobby.