Doctor Criticizes Gwyneth Paltrow for Advising Women to Hold Jade Eggs in Their Vaginas

[HarryPotterFan]

7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Jenny McCarthy has literally caused pestilence, so now Gwyneth has to up the ante by enticing women to do horrible things to their genitals. 

As long as idiots are hurting themselves and not innocent children...

[AnywhereButHere]

http://twentytwowords.com/gwyneth-paltrow-wants-you-to-squeeze-coffee-up-your-butt/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=hh&utm_campaign=hh

Hey! Gwynnie is at it again. This time she’s advocating coffee enemas. What I want to know is, should you be trying to hold in the jade egg at the same time, or should these be two, separate treatments? 

[ViolaSebastian]

Oh thank goodness, the revival of this thread means that I can talk to somebody about this trend:

Quote

“Apparently some women are peeling cucumbers, inserting them vaginally, and then twisting them around for up to 20 minutes to refresh or cleanse or flush or something,” Gunter wrote. “This wasn’t some weird Facebook thing one person did once. I Googled ‘cucumber vagina cleanse’ (God help me, I did) and WAS HORRIFIED.”

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/dont-use-cucumbers-for-vagina-facials-experts-say

 

 

 

[Cartmann99]

7 hours ago, AnywhereButHere said:

http://twentytwowords.com/gwyneth-paltrow-wants-you-to-squeeze-coffee-up-your-butt/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=hh&utm_campaign=hh

Hey! Gwynnie is at it again. This time she’s advocating coffee enemas. What I want to know is, should you be trying to hold in the jade egg at the same time, or should these be two, separate treatments? 

Three. You shove the jade eggs in, hop on the vaginal steaming stool, and do the coffee enema all at the same time. 

 

[Tikobaby]

Wouldn't want to go out to breakfast with anyone taking her advice. They might drink their coffee with their backside and shove their eggs up  the front.   

[CancerBomb]

Why. Just why would you do this for yourself? I sometimes do Kegal exercises, and at that time of the month use baby wipes, but isn't this all painful? Why would you want to shoot coffee up your butt or shove anything up your lady bits other than something designed to go in there? Why do people follow this kook advice? How many yeast, UTI and genital infections happen from these treatments?

[Hashtag Blessed]

Yeah that cucumber thing sounds like a recipe for a fiery yeast infection. 

But I know someone who did a coffee enema once. This was years ago but she told me the whole story and it sounded horrible. She was like “It was great! I felt so clean and focused and energized after!” And I was like “cool!” But inwardly I was actually like, duh you just poured a litre of coffee into your large intestine. You reached a bizarre caffeine high, but that doesn’t mean it was good for you. In fact, any sort of enema can strip away the beneficial gut flora from your gi tract and worsen all sorts of conditions. This person has ibs and was desperate for something, anything, that would improve her symptoms. So I have a lot of empathy for the decision, but I think ultimately it could only make ibs worse.

fyi, if anyone is even remotely considering this: COLD COFFEE ONLY. There are horrific stories of people getting severe burns and internal injuries from mistakenly thinking it had to be hot coffee. 

I repeat: COLD COFFEE ONLY

This has been a public service announcement.

[Cartmann99]

Wait, you mean it won't keep my toilet gleaming with no scrubbing, I won't wake up one day miraculously speaking seven languages, and I'll never look 25 again?

*removes jade egg, sobs uncontrollably*

 

[ViolaSebastian]

I 'haha'ed, but I'm glad that she's being taken to task for her very unhealthy advice. 

[Terrie]

Let's hope it's the first of many.

[AmazonGrace]

Food is free, y'all

[Terrie]

Drinking lots of water is free? Tell that to people in Flint.

[Cartmann99]

5 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Food is free, y'all

I'm imagining Gwyneth Paltrow crouching in the bushes trying to catch a bird like a cat does.

[AmazonGrace]

https://nypost.com/2021/01/18/gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-ignites-in-uk-home-report

Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘vagina’ candle reportedly explodes in UK woman’s home

Quote

 

This Gwyneth Paltrow candle didn’t pass the smell test, according to a report.

A “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle that the actress peddles on Goop exploded into flames in the living room of a UK woman who won the odoriferous product in a quiz, the Sun reported.

“The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere,” Jody Thompson, 50, told the outlet.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room,” the media consultant from Kilburn, North London, added.

Thompson, who lives with her partner, David Snow, said they threw the flaming candle out the front door.

“It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room,” she said.

Paltrow, 48, launched the $75 candle emitting her private scent in January 2020.

Scent notes include geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed, according to her online store.

A Gwyneth Paltrow “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle reportedly ignited in a UK woman’s home. The scent of the actual explosion was not reported.

“This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP,” reads the website. “The two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, “Uhhh..this smells like a vagina’ — but evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent. (That turned out to be perfect as a candle.)”

The Post has reached out to Goop for comment about the exploding candle.

 

 

Surprisingly Gwyneth's vagina smells like geranium, bergamot, cedar, rose and ambrette seeds, not like jade eggs.

 

 

 

 

My first thought was that this is a candle you burn in your vagina but even Goop is not that crazy.

[tabitha2]

Ode de twat? Perfume de Pusay?  Old Gwyn does not have a jungle but a sophisticated garden naturally!  

Edited January 18, 2021 by tabitha2

[The Mother Dust]

57 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Ode de twat? Perfume de Pusay?  Old Gwyn does not have a jungle but a sophisticated garden naturally!  

???

Spoiler

 

 

[Howl]

On 1/13/2018 at 5:04 AM, Cartmann99 said:

Three. You shove the jade eggs in, hop on the vaginal steaming stool, and do the coffee enema all at the same time. 

This makes The Naked Roast Sitter seem like an amateur. 

[tabitha2]

One order of Steamed vagina with eggs coming up! Hold the cheese though. 
 

 

[Flossie]

On 1/18/2021 at 3:56 PM, Howl said:

This makes The Naked Roast Sitter seem like an amateur. 

What ever happened to her?  Was she exposed as a troll, or arrested, or what?

[Cartmann99]

Saw this and immediately thought of this thread:

You know what they say about fools and money. 💸

[Giraffe]

Wow. Just wow. It’s like she’s trolling herself at this point.  https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/why-gwyneth-paltrows-goop-faked-a-120-disposable-diaper-line/. 
 

Ah, it’s fake. It’s to get people aware of taxes on essential items. Goes to show how ridiculous Goop is, though, that I didn’t even question the “realness” of it!

Edited May 12, 2022 by Giraffe

[Mrs Ms]

Disposable???? What.The.Fuck!!??11??!!

[Mrs Ms]

14 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

Wow. Just wow. It’s like she’s trolling herself at this point.  https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/why-gwyneth-paltrows-goop-faked-a-120-disposable-diaper-line/. 
 

Ah, it’s fake. It’s to get people aware of taxes on essential items. Goes to show how ridiculous Goop is, though, that I didn’t even question the “realness” of it!

Thanks for double checking! I was too mind blown to think to do that!

[Giraffe]

8 minutes ago, Mrs Ms said:

Thanks for double checking! I was too mind blown to think to do that!

I wasn’t looking to see if it was real or not. I was looking for more snarkers on it. 😂

[AmazonGrace]

Aww but diapers do seem like a natural business expansion for this company because they have a lot of smelly goop in them.