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Doctor Criticizes Gwyneth Paltrow for Advising Women to Hold Jade Eggs in Their Vaginas


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On 1/19/2017 at 7:51 PM, RosyDaisy said:

It it ain't my husband's penis, it ain't going up my vagina.

I had my first baby back during the Rely tampon toxic shock scare back in 1980.  One of my nurses said that exact same thing to me, @RosyDaisy!

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1 hour ago, catlady said:

Ok, do I really want to know about the steaming?  Did she mean real steam, as in boiling water at 100C/212F?  Please tell me I'm wrong......

Yes. Real, legit steam. I remember when this first came out some OB/GYN came out with horrible stories of women showing up with second degree burns and terrible infections from it. 

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OMG, I was afraid of that. I've burned my hand on a clothes steamer before, so it blew my mind that anyone would be dumb enough to do that to their genitals. She's so #%€£ing stupid. 

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Silly goop, you're supposed to use a QUARTZ egg not jade *eyeroll* It's been a thing amongst the old hippie women where I live for years and all I could think when I read the article was "oh she must've visited Santa Cruz"

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There's kegel exercise weights and balls available on amazon for far less than goop's jade eggs, they're made of medical silicone, are BPA free and non-porous. They have a silicone string attached for safety reasons so you can easily get it back. 

Why anyone would want to put porous jade rocks up there when there's much safer stuff available really is beyond me. 

Edited by Pretzel
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On ‎2‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 7:12 PM, meep said:

Mystified as to why anyone listens to this lady. (Or even thinks she's a good actress, but I digress.)

Or why anyone would want to dress like her.  $225 for Goop black leggings?  I don't care if they do have a "tuxedo grosgrain ribbon up the side."

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8 hours ago, JMarie said:

Or why anyone would want to dress like her.  $225 for Goop black leggings?  I don't care if they do have a "tuxedo grosgrain ribbon up the side."

$225 for viscose/nylon leggings? For that price, I can buy silk, several times over

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9 hours ago, JMarie said:

Or why anyone would want to dress like her.  $225 for Goop black leggings?  I don't care if they do have a "tuxedo grosgrain ribbon up the side."

I could buy about 20 pairs of ordinary black leggings from the store near my house for that. Those better be some snazzy leggings!

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  • 2 weeks later...

      Only if it's all natural, non-gmo, organic Jade, infused with kale that can double as a teething toy for my children, none of that cheap processed Jade for my vagina. 

     

     ......Somewhere there is a joke about laying eggs and clucking but it eludes me now.

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On 2/8/2017 at 1:20 AM, JMarie said:

Or why anyone would want to dress like her.  $225 for Goop black leggings?  I don't care if they do have a "tuxedo grosgrain ribbon up the side."

Even Lularoe would get you nine for that price!

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22 hours ago, FlamingFundie said:

So do I insert said jade before or after I squat to pee in the shower?

    I believe it's best to do it WHILE you squat to pee. 

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Yeah people stick all sorts of things up there...

icantseeyou.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/07/8-crazy-stories-from-the-er-wait-1-hour-after-eating-before-reading.html

Quote

A man came in complaining of pain and bleeding from down below. He was trying to quit smoking and had replaced cigarettes with sunflower seeds, eating them shell and all whenever he got the urge.

During the rectal exam, we discovered a giant sunflower seed mass crowning like a baby's head. Despite castor oil and trying to “deliver” it, we ended up picking out the pieces with tweezers until it was small enough to pass.

A woman came in complaining of pain in her pelvis, so the doctor put her in the stirrups and performed a pelvic exam. He immediately removed the problem -- a set of car keys. The woman explained she didn’t want her boyfriend taking the car, so she hid the keys in a place where “he never goes”.

A patient came in with a very simple case: a toilet bowl scrubber had become lodged in his rectum. Curiously, he wasn’t sure how it got there.

 

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My hubs is an xray/ct techand I'll just say this:there is an xray hanging in my garage of barbie dolls HEADS where no barbies head should be-multiple heads.

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  • 3 weeks later...

i went to the web page and am horrified to see that it is jade and rose quartz eggs! i have a rose quartz egg! my grandparents brought it back from AZ when i was in elementary school. it was pink and pretty! they have a basket of rock eggs i covet. i even started to buy my own if i see them. never would i ever have thought to stick them in a body orifice!

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I have several stone eegs; they all reside in the fairy fountain in my garden.

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  • 9 months later...
On 1/22/2017 at 7:50 PM, AnywhereButHere said:

Maybe Trump should appoint her to be Surgeon General. :pb_rollseyes:

I'm so sorry that you suggested this, because, you know, Trump....

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I really want Gwenyth Paltrow to be a giant troll who doesn’t believe any of this shit, and just makes up stupid things to see how many stupid people she can fool.

That said, I also want to be a princess just so I can issue an open invite to J.K. Rowling for tea at a palace or castle.

Also, @AmazonGrace, your  avatar perfectly summarizes how I feel about Goop products.

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Jenny McCarthy has literally caused pestilence, so now Gwyneth has to up the ante by enticing women to do horrible things to their genitals. 

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