‘If You Think You’re Too Fat, Keep It to Yourself’: High School Under Fire for Sexist Dating Assignm

[clueliss]

Well, here's a dandy from Utah.  Kudos to the Mom who posted this assignment on Facebook leading to it getting canned.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/be-feminine-show-respect-for-him-high-school-under-fire-for-sexist-dating-assignment-162826679.html

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U.S.

‘If You Think You’re Too Fat, Keep It to Yourself’: High School Under Fire for Sexist Dating Assignment

Beth Greenfield 2 hours 13 minutes ago 

 

A dating assignment at a Utah high school sparked controversy when it included sexist tips for girls and boys. (Photo: Getty Images)

High schools are infamous for sexist dress codes, constrictive prom rules, and other lessons in outdated bias — but this latest example takes the cake: In Utah, 11th graders were given an assignment to go on a $5 date after consulting handouts with separate “tips” for boys and girls, created by and for each other. Suggestions for the young women? “Be feminine,” “Eat the food you order. Don’t waste his money,” “Don’t fish for compliments,  “Show respect for him,” and, “If you think you’re too fat, etc., keep it to yourself.”

Highland High School in Salt Lake City rescinded the assignment after the mom of a young woman in the class posted the assignment to Facebook (which has since been removed), sparking a firestorm.

“Thanks for educating our kids, Utah Department of Education,” Jenn Oxborrow had written on the post, according to the Salt Lake Tribune. “We really appreciate your evidence-based misogyny.”

Yahoo Beauty was unable to reach school administrators. But according to the newspaper, the assignment was part of a state-required Adult Roles and Financial Literacy class, with handouts not written by the teacher but grabbed from a database of state-approved materials, said principal Chris Jenson. “She’s just mortified,” Jenson said of the unidentified teacher. “She wanted it to be a lighthearted lesson in social norms.”

Mark Peterson, spokesman for the Utah Board of Education, told the Tribune that the materials in question were being removed from the database. “They’re inappropriate,” he said, “and we’re taking them down.”

Social media criticism of the assignment has been fierce.

 

“This is simply not OK,” Connecticut-based psychologist Barbara Greenberg, who specializes in adolescents and teens, tells Yahoo Beauty. “It’s so unbelievably gender-biased, and it puts us back in time.” It’s especially problematic, she says, considering its heterosexual assumptions and also the fact that, according to recent data, 50 percent of millennials consider gender to be a spectrum. Greenberg does, however, approve of teaching dating skills to teens.

“I love the idea of educating children about dating and relationships,” she says, “because usually such lessons are all about the mechanics and STDs. But what about how the heart and body are connected? It’s part of life, and we don’t really educate our kids about it.” That leads to troubles she has seen through her clinical practice, she says, including teens getting into abusive and obsessive situations.

Greenberg also calls out a specific tip that was included in the controversial assignment — “If you think you’re fat, keep it to yourself” — and notes that it was going in the right direction. “I didn’t like the way it was worded, but it would be wonderful for women to know that they don’t need to talk about their weight.” But in general, she says, the entire assignment was flawed, reiterating, “I don’t like the way it was gender-biased.”

Tips for the boys in the now-ditched assignment, meanwhile, included “Don’t feel entitled to a kiss (or more),” “Use good manners,” “Be honest,” “Don’t drive recklessly,” and “Don’t exaggerate to your friends about what happened on the date.” Which honestly adds up to some pretty good advice — for any gender, that is.

Related: This Dress Code Is Straight Out of the 1950s

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Should School Dress Codes Be Gender Neutral?

A group of boys wore dresses to school to help call for a gender neutral dress code.

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[AmazonGrace]

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“Eat the food you order. Don’t waste his money,”

What if I pay for my own food? Do I have to eat it all if I don't like it?

Some of it is not bad advice, if only it was applicable for any gender. 

"Show respect." "Be ready on time." "Have a sense of humor."

 

I wouldn't have liked to have dating as a school assignment... I was really shy in high school and didn't really start dating until I moved out on my own.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Wow, is there that much extra time in the school curriculum that they can discuss dating? How about doing advanced studies in something instead, Utah? Or study various types of discrimination. Or anything academic at all?

[Bethella]

6 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Wow, is there that much extra time in the school curriculum that they can discuss dating? How about doing advanced studies in something instead, Utah? Or study various types of discrimination. Or anything academic at all?

I'm not in Utah but we covered relationships as part of our (required) Health and First Aid class in high school. It was only one semester and covered first aid and cpr certification, sex ed, pregnancy and relationships. I think there was some anti-drug/addiction stuff too. Oh, and you had to pass a swim test.

edited to add: Our stuff on relationships was nothing like this stuff, it was more about recognizing and dealing with abusive relationships.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

3 hours ago, Bethella said:

I'm not in Utah but we covered relationships as part of our (required) Health and First Aid class in high school. It was only one semester and covered first aid and cpr certification, sex ed, pregnancy and relationships. I think there was some anti-drug/addiction stuff too. Oh, and you had to pass a swim test.

edited to add: Our stuff on relationships was nothing like this stuff, it was more about recognizing and dealing with abusive relationships.

That makes sense, as a small part of health class.  My high school health class, in 1981 or 82, had lots of STD talks. The teacher was a 24-year old virgin who graduated from Bob Jones U. He actually told the students he was a virgin. and intended to stay one until marriage. Most of the students knew more about sex than he did. But he had one choice in what we were taught.