Lori Alexander 14: Environmental Notebook Doodles & Self-Righteous Husband Bashing

[Koala]

I have seen the following quotes many times, but for some reason, they just hit me like a ton of bricks today.

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I wanted to stay home 

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I put a hole in my diaphragm

I guess maybe I thought about the actual moment that she took her birth control and put a hole in it.  The moment that she decided that she deserved to be home, even if that meant denying Ken the autonomy to make reproductive choices.

The whole thing just takes a level of calculation, greed, and deception that I can't fathom.

I can't imagine the shock and betrayal of knowing the person you were married to would do such a thing.  

It's yet another act, that just speaks volumes about what Lori is capable of.  She will do absolutely anything to get her way.

[TeddyBonkers]

@Koalayou have the right of it! It's absolutely obscene. How would Lori feel if she didn't want another baby, but Ken replaced her birth control pills with Pez? 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I would so love to have been a fly on the wall when Ken found out Lori sabotaged her diaphragm. Was it soon after, years later? I don't believe she ever said.

A fundie friend of mine ended up with 7 children because his wife lied about using bc when the last 3 were conceived.  He believed her story about bc failure until she told him after #7 was born she hadn't been using anything at all because she wanted more children -- even though he had determined they couldn't afford any more after #4.  They had discussed it and she agreed,  They were big into submission, traditional gender roles, SAHM, home schooling, and women keeping completely silent in the church.

He immediately had a vasectomy after the wife's revelation. Because she was starting to talk about #8.

The children are all grown now. Interestingly only 2 of them are married, neither of them have children, and all of the daughters, including the married 2, have full-time careers.

All of the children went to public high school and regular college too. Although I think high school was because they couldn't afford private Christian school, and all the children had scholarships that paid for college.

They seem to still all identify as fundie, but it seems the children at least are fundie-lite.

 

[Koala]

14 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I would so love to have been a fly on the wall when Ken found out Lori sabotaged her diaphragm. Was it soon after, years later? I don't believe she ever said.

She's never said, but I imagine he caught on when Lori turned up pregnant.  She probably laughed at him and calmly retorted, "It worked.  I always get my way." <---based off the following quotes by Lori:

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Now, I don't recommend using deceit like this in anyway to get your way.

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but I did get to stay home

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 I always got my way. 

 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Not only did she sabotage her birth control, she brags about it on the Internet! So everyone knows how she tricked her husband. She mentions it more than once, like rubbing ken's face in it. So passive aggressive!

[usmcmom]

I think that Ken, while he was visiting here at FJ, wrote something like "we got a good laugh out of it," in reference to the hole in the diaphragm. 

I don't believe for one minute that Ken laughed it off. I do believe Lori laughed all the way to the sofa where she calmly sat down and switched on her soap operas. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori just posted a doodle basically saying that depression and anxiety in women can by sung away with a joyful tune! Wow, she has know idea how real depression works. 

[polecat]

Her latest doodle is really ... 

Mental illness can't be prayed away, Lori, any more than your brain tumor can be prayed away. 

I've mentioned this to the point most of you are probably sick of hearing about it, but my mom was mentally ill. But because she was a fundamentalist Christian, she believed that she could pray it away. She prayed, she had huge notebooks full of notes from her daily devotions, she'd spend so much time praying and begging God to heal her -- I guess for Lori and her ilk, she just didn't do it right.

When she wasn't praying, she was screaming and yelling and beating us, ranting, raving or what have you. Sometimes she'd lock herself in her room silently or sobbing because she'd be in the depths of depression. A couple times a year, there'd be a suicide or self-harming attempt that would land her in a locked ward for a few days or a week. These were the times of peace and safety at home, but they were also guilt-ridden because we felt awful for being happy our MOM was in a mental ward. 

But it was all just sin, right, Lori? Whose sin? Who was sinning? My mom, who was doing every single thing you preach about (plus some, actually)? Or my father, who was far better of a Christian than your perverted husband will ever be? Or her children, who were barely old enough to be in school when she was first diagnosed? Whose sin, Lori, caused her illness?

People like the Alexanders will never understand how growing up like that affects you.

Lori's brain tumor, now THAT was sickness, and it was NOT her fault, apparently. It was just a fluke. Like her parasites from eating unwashed produce (which, btw -- gross. She's so dirty). But my mom's mental illness? Sin. Sin for which every one of us suffered deeply and permanently because other people (like Lori) REFUSED to call it what it was: a serious, debilitating and TREATABLE disease.

You know what you might try praying away, Ken and Lori? Your intolerance and ignorance and lack of compassion for other people. That's something worth spending some time in prayer about. In fact, I highly suggest you get on your knees and beg God's forgiveness and ask him to help you do better and be better people. 

 

[RosyDaisy]

Fuck you, you crazy ass bitch! I have anxiety and depression, no amount of singing can make it go away. What really helps are meds, therapy, meditation, and prayer (in that order). Thank God I have a loving, caring husband who helps me get through the bad times and makes sure I take my meds. So again, fuck you, Lori!

[AmazonGrace]

On 17.1.2017 at 4:10 PM, Koala said:

I think the proverbs woman has become something  of an annoyance for Lori.  In fact, I think if she could muster the courage, she'd probably call her a detractor.

 

She conveniently forgets that none of the damn men were realtors either at the time... None of the men were plumbers, electricians, car salesmen, programmers... you get the picture. So if it's a sin for a woman to be a realtor because the Proverbs woman wasn't, surely it's a sin for a man to be a plumber because the Proverbs men weren't.

[Koala]

When anxiety completely and totally overwhelms you, and you literally don't want to leave your house, just sing a happy song!  So easy!  It's a wonder a sufferer of anxiety hasn't thought of it already. 

Seriously, when I think she can't say anything any dumber, she takes to her notebook again. Does she even have a brain??

The bizarre, simplistic answers she gives really have me puzzled.

"Widows and single moms shouldn't worry!  Jesus owns everything!  Just pray and money will magically appear."

"If you hit hard enough, it will work!"

"Why would a man abuse his wife if she was being submissive?"

Just stupid things that anyone, with even the thinnest of grips on reality could see are not simple, black and white issues.  But not Lori.  She thinks she has all of the answers.  Baffling. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Simply sing about your favorite things...!!

Rain drops on roses....or as Lori's post by the same title....

sing about norwex cloths and Scrub daddies.....

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/03/some-of-my-favorite-things.html

[Koala]

Don't even get me started on the grossness that is her Norwex cloths.

Lori:

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Instead of washing counters down to get the junk off with a sponge, then spraying them with a solution and finally, wiping it down with a cloth to dry, I simply use my Norwex cloth.

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It even will clean up raw chicken juice and after rinsing the cloth in hot water, the juice will be gone and the cloth clean. 

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If they smell at all, you just throw them in the washing machine with no bleach or softener. I have been using mine for several weeks now and it still has no smell to it! 

Yum!  Nothing says salmonella like a cloth that's been wiping raw chicken juice for weeks with no wash.  But, it doesn't smell, so there's that!

Must go nice with her carpet:

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I love my new carpet! I use to have to vacuum my dark green carpet almost every day because it always showed everything. This carpet never needs to be vacuumed! 

Not sure how that works though, because she has cats, and they have got to track litter.  *gag* If she is vacuuming once a week, then does litter, cat hair, and whatever else just sit there all week?

I have hardwoods, but I also have nice rug in the living room.  It has to be vacuumed no less than twice a day.  I have a long coat German Shepherd, and it would be nothing but fur if I didn't.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Not that I'd ever buy one, but what exactly is in the Norwex cloths that make them so fantastic you can just clean with water?

The company website extols the wonders of the microfiber cloth, but not the why you can clean using only water. Even raw chicken juice as Lori says.  Which sounds really disgusting and unsanitary, but maybe that's just me.

As far as I can tell they're just microfiber cleaning cloths, not the 8th wonder of the world.

[Koala]

I won't even lie- there is pretty much nothing they could tell me that would make me feel comfortable wiping up raw chicken juice, rinsing, and then hanging it up until the next use.  

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

For all her talk about "God never meant for life to be easy" she sure has found herself a lot of easy way outs. I guess that is what Ken means by "not spotless".  

Dark green carpet, um yuck. I am anti carpet though. Wood or tile with area rugs is the way to do it for being clean and the cheap way to update a look by just switching out the rug.

[Imrlgoddess]

So basically her house just *looks* clean. And she's been sick for how long now? 

I'll be the first to say my house is far from perfect but it's clean. I sanitize everything, especially these days with Thor's little grimy kitten paws all over my kitchen. I'm a Nazi about the cat fur & vacuum at least once a week, typically more. The carpet may be stained to hell & back but I'm not afraid to lay on it. 

There's a specific turn of phrase I was raised with... What was it.... Oh yeah: Cleanliness is next to Godliness. I still take it seriously. 

 

ETA: I often wonder if her stories & vehement self defense are a product of unrequited deep set quilt over Not having been the wife & mother she "should" have been... Like a crazy  overcompensation? 

[TeddyBonkers]

She can fuck right off with her anxiety and depression notebook doodle. While I do enjoy listening to a good old fashioned Lutheran liturgical service, it serves to do exactly nothing for my PTSD. Like @RosyDaisy, meds are number one in my book. 

I'm trying to be nice, but I don't think that Lori would EVER change her tune unless she, too, was impacted in a negative way. Think Zsuzsu with her "OMG, male OBGYNS are evil!" until she needed one. 

[RosyDaisy]

I won't even lie- there is pretty much nothing they could tell me that would make me feel comfortable wiping up raw chicken juice, rinsing, and then hanging it up until the next use.  
 

THIS! A million times this! I keep my kitchen very clean. I would never use those cloths. Nope, nope, nope.

[Loveday]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

THIS! A million times this! I keep my kitchen very clean. I would never use those cloths. Nope, nope, nope.

Me, either. I change out my dish cloths--and kitchen towels-- daily, sometimes more than once a day. And when it comes to dealing with raw chicken, I'm all about some serious disinfection of even surfaces that I don't THINK came into contact with it. The thought of Lori's Norwex cloth makes me nauseous.

[freealljs]

I have some microfiber cloths, not Norwex brand. I have a difficult time justifying the cost of Norwex brand cloths.  I would never ever be so stupid to think that chicken juices "disappear" in those cloths, even if there is no smell. I mean, she can't be that naive. I still disinfect and clean up after handling meat. If I use a microfiber cloth, it goes straight into the wash. 

Lori just amazes me, with her stupid remarks. I had PTSD for several years, when I was young. I was very religious at the time, and thought that I could pray it away. But what made me get past the PTSD? Good psychologists. Lori's advice is going to kill someone someday.

I also get the impression that Ken stuck with Lori, because he was guilted by religion and young kids. At times, I almost feel sorry for him. Then I remember his comments on incest and molestation, and think that he deserves his miserable life with Lori.

[Jucifer]

On 1/14/2017 at 2:32 PM, louisa05 said:

My dad's oncologist felt that he survived longer and his cancer progressed slower due to his being very fit initially. He had a very aggressive type of cancer and it did not spread beyond where it was found for two and a half years. A business acquaintance of my same idiot sister-in-law was diagnosed with the same type of cancer a few months after my dad. He smoked, was a heavy drinker and loved junk food and was gone in less than three months. My dad made it 2 years and 11 months. 

It is always good to make healthy choices. It just isn't a guarantee. People like my sister-in-law who think it is (and part of her formula is yoga which will prevent all things and cure anything it doesn't prevent according to her) are just looking for a way to convince themselves that a catastrophic illness will never happen to them. 

Louisa, that's so true. 

My mother was a devout Seventh Day Adventist all of her life. She had a very positive attitude. She never drank or smoked. She took aerobic classes for years and maintained a healthy weight. 

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 70s and died of it in her 80s, as her mother did in her 90s.

I was diagnosed with BC in my late 40s. 

Maybe, just maybe it had something to do with genetics? 

I don't wish illness on anyone but I do wish some of us could learn a little bit about compassion and empathy without being taught by bitter experience.

It's just easier that way.

 

[linnea27]

The Norwex cloths supposedly have silver in them, which is supposed to be antimicrobial and kill everything it touches. My mom gave me some and I use them, although not for "heavy duty" cleaning such as chicken juice. Mostly because, even if I believed the silver killed everything, I am not sure how you remain confident that there are sufficient silver particles remaining in the cloth, and that they didn't break down through use. The glass cleaning cloths do a good job on my windows and mirrors without cleaner. That, and a little dusting, is all I trust them for.

[dairyfreelife]

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You know, I’ve actually seen men move for the sake of their wives’ jobs. That has always seemed backwards to me.

This was a comment on today's post. Guess I am confused as to why that's backwards? Because she thinks women shouldn't have jobs, I know, but still don't see how it's backwards. 

I went to the link for Lindsay listed on the post today. Wow, she's crazy at times. Mostly normal fundie bullshit about Jesus and submission and creationist crap. But this, this is just wow. 

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We should not be allowing commercial surrogacy anymore than we allow commercial sex (i.e. prostitution). A woman's body and its unique abilities is not a thing to be bought and sold. Human beings are sacred, not just a collection of parts to be used.

It is also cruel and wrong to buy and sell children or to purposely rob them of the mother they know, who bore them in her womb and whose voice and heartbeat they recognize. Children are not commodities, and treating them as products to be bought and to be "returned" if they aren't wanted is to treat human beings as objects.

Even non-commercial surrogacy is very problematic since the child is still robbed of the mother she knows, even if no money changes hands. It's traumatic for a child to lose her mother at birth. Many studies have shown that babies know the mother who bore them at birth and that they do better when they receive care from her rather than other people.

The common cultural idea that we should be able to have a child if we want one and get rid of one we don't want is inherently about objectifying children and treating them as a mere means to the happiness of adults. Raising a child is not supposed to be about life achievement and happiness of the adults, but should instead be focused on what the child needs.

Sure, many people have a desire to have children. That's completely natural. But a child is a gift. There is no right to have a child. So if someone has been unable to have a child, then they should adopt one who needs a home and doesn't have one. But no one should purposely create a child who will be denied one or more of her biological parents or the mother whose womb she grew in just to satisfy an adult's selfish desire to possess a child. The child's needs come first for a parent, or they aren't fit to raise one.

She's against surrogacy to create a baby. Anyone aware of negative effects of children born from surrogacy caused by not being raised by the mother who bore them? Also the bolded, which was bolded by me, since she's okay with adoption, I have to wonder about issues in adoption and what she thinks about abortion and essentially forcing adoption and rehoming children. A whole other can of worms I know, but makes me curious. 

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There are many evidences for the truth of Christianity, but one that is often overlooked is the fact that Jesus fulfilled the prophecies about the Messiah from the Hebrew Scriptures, which were written many hundreds of years prior. And many of these prophecies had to do with the Messiah's birth and death and ancestry - something most people have no control over. Yet Jesus met every one. This is verification that Jesus is indeed the Messiah and that Christianity is true.

This is very bad logic from someone who apparently studied biology. 

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The underlying rationale for abortion for the determined pro-aborts today is that they think there should not be any connection between sex and babies, and they think abortion is necessary to sever that link and escape the "oppression" of biology. 

Lol, what? Apparently all us pro-choice people want to escape biology and want to ignore that sex can create babies. 

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They cannot (or will not) accept the idea that sex is inherently ordered toward producing a child and thus involves inherent responsibilities and consequences. They are literally willing to kill to avoid taking responsibility for their sex life.

People abort babies to avoid responsibility for the consequence. Yep, that's why everyone has an abortion. No other reasons at all. Also, you are required to have sex in marriage frequently. Gonna guess no birth control either? Which can mean lots of babies. Can't afford them? God will provide. Or people who feel sorry for your children and drop off clothes and stuff for them. And you can feed a dozen people with 2 chicken breasts and some rice and wilted lettuce or let them scourge the garbage. Of course you can always do the Rodrigues and Shrader route of grifting everything you want need. 

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There are 3 main factors that make women avoid submission to their husbands.

1) The teaching of the world. Feminism tells women that men can't be trusted and thus can't ever be placed in power over a woman in any way. Women should never be vulnerable, they say. Stay in control. You don't need a man. It's conditioned into women from a young age to think this way.

2) Bad experiences. The world tells women to pick men based on looks, social status, and ability to have fun. It also tells them to sleep with those men because it's fun. Not surprisingly, this turns out to be very bad advice. Women get hurt by men who use them and leave them or who abuse them. They pick bad men because they use bad criteria, and it leaves scars that make them unwilling or unable to trust a man any more.

3) Plain old pride and rebellion. Even the most sheltered woman still has a sin nature and doesn't like to give up control and recognize someone else as having authority over her. We all like to have our own way.

None of these eliminates God's commands, however, and thus they must be fought against in order to implement God's authority structure for the home. God's design is beautiful and reflects His glory. The world can't offer any improvement, no matter how hard they try to make people fear and detest the Biblical roles for husbands and wives.

Yeah, women should be vulnerable guys. Also only women who use wordly criteria and pick men based them get hurt by men and will end up with men who leave them or abuse them. If you use god's way this will never happen. NEVER. 

However, she is for vaccines, which Lori would hate. 

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The problem with public schools isn't just that they teach nonsense and indoctrinate children into leftist ideology, but that when the government runs the school system, it has no incentive to teach the children how to limit government power. It has every incentive to teach them to grow government and keep them ignorant of the proper purpose and limits of government. That's why government should never run any school system. If government does encourage education, then it should do so with no control and no strings.

Saith the homeschooled 

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There are three problems with increasing maternity leave by government mandate.

1) It makes companies more reluctant to hire women and hurts the company when the women they do hire have children. It's difficult for a company to deal with an employee being gone for months at a time. In many cases, they have to hire a temporary replacement and train them or at least give them time to adjust to the job, and often have to pay them extra to take a temporary job. Companies are understandably reluctant to do this.

2) It helps a little, but doesn't fix the problem. No matter how much time you give a woman for maternity leave, she will still end up leaving a child who needs her when she goes back to work. It's not like her child doesn't need her at 9 months or 1 year or whatever length of time you give her. Unless we're talking about 18 years of maternity leave, which is insane, women are still going back to work and leaving their children.

3) Somebody has to pay for it. There are 3 options for who pays for a woman's missed work time:

a) The woman herself and her family - in missed job income
The company - in paid maternity leave
c) The government, which means taxpayers

As I mentioned earlier, companies are reluctant to hire women if they have to pay for their maternity leave. Plus, it's unfair to them to make them pay the woman AND the person replacing her at the same time when they're only getting the same amount of work they were before. Companies and women may negotiate maternity leave of a certain length as part of the employment contract, but forcing companies to make this standard is going to reduce company profits, make them value male employees higher, and place a drag on the economy.

It's even worse if the government pays for it. The government paying for it means taxpayers are paying for the woman to stay home with her child. But it really means that families with stay-at-home moms are penalized. If I stay home with my children, I don't get paid maternity leave. Instead, our family pays with our tax dollars for working women to stay home during their maternity leave. It's much more fair for the person who chooses to have a child to be the one to pay than for everyone else to pay for it. And it's much cheaper as well. If the government pays for it, not only are taxpayers paying the maternity leave, but also paying government bureaucrats to handle all the paperwork involved.

So if it's unpaid maternity leave or voluntary on the part of the company, that's the best, cheapest, and fairest option. But forcing the company to hold that position for her is still expensive in pay for a temporary employee. And mothers will be incentivized to go back to work as quickly as possible, leaving their children, in order not to lose income. Yet other options are even less fair and more expensive overall.

It just works so much better when women choose to stay home with their children.

Actually, no, it doesn't. Most countries have this option and they don't have the issue of not wanting to hire women. My fiance works for a global company. Women in India get several weeks more maternity leave than in the US. The US doesn't require ANY maternity leave at all. Bigger companies offer it as an incentive so more people, including educated women, will want to work for them. My fiance's company offers 1-2 weeks of paternity leave also. In the US. Each country varies based on the laws. And no, 18 years of maternity leave is stupid. Older babies fare better. Trust me, worked in daycares, 6 weeks, even 2 months is just too young for such an environment. While some moms want to go back to work, others do not have that choice. The US is one of the only western countries without required maternity leave for full time work. 2nd world countries often provide new mothers with better care than the US. We need to get it together. 

[dairyfreelife]

Lots of disagreement on the post today

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Aj-Nichole McGilvrey You both have to be on agreement about moving if not there will be resentment in the end .back in 98 my husband had a job but I wasn't ready so we didn't move then 6 months later I said I was ready so we did.

Like · Reply · 1 · 1 hr

The Transformed Wife Not if a wife wants to obey the Lord by obeying her husband as Sarah did Abraham. She will go when her husband tells her it is time to go.

Like · Reply · 1 hr

Aj-Nichole McGilvrey But if your husband loves his wife he will listen to her and be happy

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The Transformed Wife This isn't what proves love. God sure doesn't do everything we want Him to do to make us happy. Wives are called to submit to and obey their husbands.

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Macie Johnson Lori, doesn't God also say that a husband is to love his wife as Jesus loved the Church? It surely doesn't seem like the husband is doing so if he chooses to ignore how his wife is feeling.

Could it also be that God is speaking through the wife that they should stay where they are and not move?

God also doesn't want us to be miserable nor does he want women to be Stepford wives.

Like · Reply · 2 · 1 hr · Edited

The Transformed Wife God's Word is clear. "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

Saving before they are gone

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 I would not let my husband move without me, but my husband wouldn't take a job unless I was on board with moving.

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The Transformed Wife Many times they have no choice and husbands are the head over his wife. Yes, most husbands will speak with their wives about it but godly wives should be willing to follow their husbands regardless of whether or not they want to.

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Lauren Hanna Frias Oh I would totally go whether or not I wanted to! 
I just know my husband wouldn't decide to move without my approval unless maybe it was a desperate situation.

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Stephanie Zepnick If my husband came to me and said, "I feel like God is leading us to move", I would say "let's go." End of story. I trust my husband's relationship with God. I would NEVER want my husband to think he needs my approval. He is the head of our house, just like God intended. My husband would definitely ask what I thought, but ultimately it doesn't matter. If God is telling him to move, you better move. Why would you want to be outside of God's will?

And this one

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Macie Johnson I think that a couple should try the move, but if the wife ends up hating it, then the husband should be willing to move back. After all, his wife's happiness should be more important than a job.

Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs

The Transformed Wife No, a job and providing is more important than a wife's happiness since happiness is a choice and finding a good job is not.

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Macie Johnson The Transformed Wife No, a good job can be found anywhere. Is the governor any worse off now for not moving? Not really, he has a good job, just not the title he'd wanted.

I think that a wife's happiness is indeed more important than having more money or fancy titles. After all, I thought Christianity encouraged frugal living. Are you familiar with the depression that often accompanies trailing spouses?

Like · Reply · 2 · 2 hrs · Edited

The Transformed Wife No, a good job can't be found anywhere for all men. They are called to provide for their families so they must go where there are jobs. Happiness is a mind set, not in our circumstances. Each day we must chose to be joyful for the JOY of the LORD is our strength regardless of where we live.

Like · Reply · 1 hr

Macie Johnson Sure, if the man is unemployed and can't find a job in their hometown, then yes, they should move. However, what if the husband already has a good job but still wants to move?

One of my friends was in this situation. When she was single, she moved abr...See More

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The Transformed Wife Yes, happiness is a choice and until people realize this, they will never be happy because circumstances, emotions, and feelings change.

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Macie Johnson The Transformed Wife Lori, life is never so black and white as you make it seem. I pray that you (or your daughters or sons) will never have to learn what depression is.

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The Transformed Wife I have been mentoring women for over 13 years now and often women will use their feelings and emotions to manipulate their husbands to do what they want instead of obeying their husbands as God commands.

Like · Reply · 45 mins

Macie Johnson Lori, it's clear to me that you never had to deal with depression. However, that's a long way to suggesting that women are using their depression to get their way.

This friend of mine moved from the US to a country in Europe where she knew no one. She didn't click with the people there (they didn't accept her because she was American), she didn't fit in, she didn't like the culture, her job prospects were slim, she was far away from her friends and family in the US and back in Europe, she had no friends and she was not accepted by her husband's parents. She was completely and utterly alone in a strange country. 

Are you actually suggesting that she made up her depression and that she should have just accepted that her husband changed his mind, this after she told him from the beginning of their relationship that she's going back to the US?

Boom. Shut down. Lori will likely delete it all because can't have "detractors". Lori is NEVER wrong.