Tabitha Paine & Tim Robertson Engagement (includes sexual assault discussion)

[Kendra Ackerman]

6 hours ago, ScorpiousMalfoy said:

I think this might be the case here...

yeah... she must be pressured because of her age. No offense to her, but she definetly "missed the bus" when it comes to courtship. She more than definelty had pressure from family.

[FleeJanaFree]

Adding to the list of the many reasons I feel badly for Tabitha:

she spends her days taking care of someone else's kids with no privacy and freedom. She is an old maid in their circles and has been promised God will given her the perfect partner if she abides. She waits patiently. She sees the other girls getting married off to people where there's at least an attempt of mutual compatibility/attractiveness- in looks, age, or missionary dreams, etc.

 

she gets married off to an old unattractive sex offender. This is who god promised her. You know deep down she thinks it's unfair.

[lawfulevil]

The second degree thing and him scurrying off to another room sounds like the boyfriend came home unexpectedly to find the woman unconscious  and something had clearly been happening. Like Tim ran for another room and was like "Nope, wasn't me, no idea why she's passed out on the couch with no pants on..." and the boyfriend called the police.

Like I said, I really doubt that was the only time he did it. He probably did it a LOT, and that was the time he finally got caught.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Is anyone else surprised the negative posts calling him out on fb are not yet deleted? I figured he would have deleted them by now. Could he possibly leave them all up for the world to see? 

[closetcagebaby]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Is anyone else surprised the negative posts calling him out on fb are not yet deleted? I figured he would have deleted them by now. Could he possibly leave them all up for the world to see? 

Honestly I'm just impressed there was any pushback at all. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Give it time, those commenters will be deleted or blocked.

[Suz8710]

He absolutely deserves the heat, but some of the critical commenters get a little lengthy and it's easy to glaze over long posts. I'm also not sure referring to him as a rapist is right - sexual assault/sexual battery does not automatically equal rape. These well intentioned posters lose effectiveness by throwing out potentially inaccurate statements. 

It'll be interesting to see if anything further comes from this.

[FleeJanaFree]

Well one of his godly friends is now defending him and telling women sticking up for a sexual assault victim that they need God. 

[ophelia]

8 hours ago, Kira said:

Tabitha is beautiful and fundie royalty. There are many eligible fundie bachelors, including some who are Tabitha's age

I am really surprised why they considered giving Tabitha to this guy in the first place. A lot of families in their circles would love to be connected to the Paine family and some of them probably have sons in Tabithas age.

6 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Sadly, many girls that were taught to serve all their lives take take way too much pride in being selfless. I have no doubt marrying Tim is earning her some major "sainthood" points in her circle of believers. "Wow, what a godly woman Tabitha Paine is. Out of all her suitors, she accepted God's will to be Tim's wife. She is such a mirror of God's grace and forgiveness". 

I had the same feeling, but couldn't express it properly, so thank you. This is one of the sickest aspects of their cult.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Reminds me about the Brock Turner case-- he told the judge he wanted to turn his life around and teach people about the "dangers of alcohol." Which a. if I wanted to learn about that, I would ask basically anyone but you, and b. alcohol isn't the danger here, YOU ARE.  

I swear to God, in these cultures offenders don't just get "forgiven," they get extra points for having a really juicy conversion story. Like if you were a really extra-bad guy before, you must be an extra-good Christian with a lot to teach us now. Whereas the survivor's narrative is always more complicated and isn't as highly valued.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Reminds me about the Brock Turner case-- he told the judge he wanted to turn his life around and teach people about the "dangers of alcohol." Which a. if I wanted to learn about that, I would ask basically anyone but you, and b. alcohol isn't the danger here, YOU ARE.  

I swear to God, in these cultures offenders don't just get "forgiven," they get extra points for having a really juicy conversion story. Like if you were a really extra-bad guy before, you must be an extra-good Christian with a lot to teach us now. Whereas the survivor's narrative is always more complicated and isn't as highly valued.

I agree. I've always thought the fundies prize a good testimony story. Look at the random guy that was more than willing on Tim's FB thread to share his story. It was so long and all about how God stopped him from doing drugs and smoking. I bet he's told that story a million times. Jeremy is another with a story. I imagine a lot of people exaggerate to make a better story but Tim did the opposite. He completely downplayed what happened and left it completely vague. Personally I would would rather marry a squeaky clean fundie like David Waller compared to a "saved" sexual assaulter who doesn't even take full responsibility for what he did. You know you suck if I would choose annoying David Waller over you :-P

[GreyhoundFan]

15 hours ago, 16strong said:

The thing I'm most afraid of is that this is essentially the honeymoon phase of the relationship. This guy is still being watched by everyone, and the wedding can still be cancelled. He is behaving to make a good impression. But the thing is, once they get married, this guy is no longer going to feel this way, because in her community, "marriage is forever." He knows he can do whatever he wants when the ink is dry and she can never leave him. His testimony reeks of narcissism, and as we all know, there is no cure for that.

Tabitha (or family members), if you ever read this, please take what I'm about to say to heart. A lifetime spent as a single, childless woman is 100x better than a lifetime spent with this man (or any man with a history of abuse). You don't know it yet, but please trust me. Run away.

I agree with you, but would say that a lifetime spent as a single, childless woman is more than 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better than a lifetime with this creep. It's unfortunate that she is accepting of him.

[itsme]

and the whole post is taken down. (or can anybody else still see it?) Surprise surprise. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

It looks like he deactivated his account. He isn't listed as a friend of Tabitha any longer so I'm assuming he deactivated. Not shocked at all by that. I'm just glad it was up for awhile so some of his friends could see it. 

[Tangy Bee]

Ok I'm late catching up on this one. Went lurking on facebook. Where? The? Heck? Did she find this dude? She must have given up. These people have been ALL over the world promoting Gothard. I refuse to believe the right fundie dude has not crossed her path.

[nausicaa]

5 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Ok I'm late catching up on this one. Went lurking on facebook. Where? The? Heck? Did she find this dude? She must have given up. These people have been ALL over the world promoting Gothard. I refuse to believe the right fundie dude has not crossed her path.

For every Erin and Chad in Fundiedom, I think there are five women who patiently wait for their Prince Charming to come along to no avail. The fact of the matter is, there are more adult Fundie women than men. Also, Fundie men have more leniency in marrying someone less Fundie. I think her age is also a big deal in their world. 

I totally agree with others who say living a life single without children is 1000x better than this guy (I'm 32 and single), but that's not how she sees it in her world. Her entire existence is about getting married and having children. She's not allowed to have a career or pursuit to throw herself into. She can't travel wherever she wants. She's not even allowed to have a job her parents don't approve of, or her own bank account. She isn't an adult until she marries. 

All of this isn't to defend their relationship, but rather to point out how poisonous this courtship model can be.

[ViolaSebastian]

Looks like Intouch picked it up and got ahold of the indictment. According to the indictment, he allegedly anally penetrated her without her consent. Can a degreed law professional tell me why this was sexually battery and not rape?

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/duggar-sex-scandal-123903/photos/duggar-court-doc2-228033#photo-anchor

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

For every Erin and Chad in Fundiedom, I think there are five women who patiently wait for their Prince Charming to come along to no avail. The fact of the matter is, there are more adult Fundie women than men. Also, Fundie men have more leniency in marrying someone less Fundie. I think her age is also a big deal in their world. 

I totally agree with others who say living a life single without children is 1000x better than this guy (I'm 32 and single), but that's not how she sees it in her world. Her entire existence is about getting married and having children. She's not allowed to have a career or pursuit to throw herself into. She can't travel wherever she wants. She's not even allowed to have a job her parents don't approve of, or her own bank account. She isn't an adult until she marries. 

All of this isn't to defend their relationship, but rather to point out how poisonous this courtship model can be.

My suspicion?

He got a job at Clown College so he could have lots of access to fundie girls, looked for one of the oldest so she would be desperate to get married, and pounced when he met Tabitha. A sex offender piece of shit like him could never get someone like Tabitha outside of fundie land. I'm not saying Tabitha is completely innocent here but it seems obvious she is being harmed most by this match. 

I really hope the same thing doesn't happen to Jana or Sarah Maxwell.

[Coconut Flan]

13 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Can a degreed law professional tell me why this was sexually battery and not rape?

Not a law professional nor do I play one although I birthed one, but not every state lists "rape" as a crime.  Sexual assault or battery in some degree is frequently used.   It's still the same thing.  South Carolina seems to use sexual assault/battery in x degree as their terminology. 

[ViolaSebastian]

That quote from his mother, defending him because they were drinking, is repugnant. This isn't "silly, stupid stuff," this is sexual assault. 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/duggar-sex-scandal-123903/photos/duggar-court-doc1-228032

[nausicaa]

1 minute ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That quote from his mother, defending him because they were drinking, is repugnant. This isn't "silly, stupid stuff," this is sexual assault. 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/duggar-sex-scandal-123903/photos/duggar-court-doc1-228032

 

[Palimpsest]

Oh, great.  Yet another sex scandal in Fundieland.  But it's all OK because he repented and found God.  Poor Tabitha. 

I missed all the Facebook kerfuffle so I'm just going on what was said here.  Not much sign of repentance is there - just excuses and dirty shots at the victim.  Nice.  Really nice, Tim.

Is this Robertson family long-term Gothardite or is Timothy a recent convert?

His mother sounds a real peach too.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That quote from his mother, defending him because they were drinking, is repugnant. This isn't "silly, stupid stuff," this is sexual assault. 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/duggar-sex-scandal-123903/photos/duggar-court-doc1-228032

I guess that's what she tells herself to feel better about raising a rapist who blames everyone but himself. I'm not surprised by what she said at all. 

[December]

11 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Not a law professional nor do I play one although I birthed one, but not every state lists "rape" as a crime.  Sexual assault or battery in some degree is frequently used. 

 

 

More general terms like "sexual assault" also make it clear that any sexual contact/behavior that someone doesn't consent to is unacceptable, not just intercourse.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Oh, great.  Yet another sex scandal in Fundieland.  But it's all OK because he repented and found God.  Poor Tabitha. 

I missed all the Facebook kerfuffle so I'm just going on what was said here.  Not much sign of repentance is there - just excuses and dirty shots at the victim.  Nice.  Really nice, Tim.

Is this Robertson family long-term Gothardite or is Timothy a recent convert?

His mother sounds a real peach too.

He seems to be a convert. 

I can give a brief synopsis of what went down on his post. At first everyone gave him great praise and lots of love and admiration. Tabitha even posted that she loved him on the post. He had many "likes" and even 9 "shares" (who the fuck would share something like that on fb?!). But then began the call outs of his blaming everyone but himself and not even coming close to admitting to what he had done. His post didn't even use the word sex or anything close to it. He described all events leading up to it and after it with detail though. Including how he only pled guilty because he didn't want jail time. And multiple people called him out with one guy as the lone defender. Dude tried but he just gave his "testimony" as a former addict and how Jesus got him clean. I guess the guy also deleted a back and forth he had with another poster. So last I checked it was just a lot of people calling him out and no one else sticking up for Tim. So I guess he decided to Delete. I wish Tabitha would delete him from her life but she won't. Because he's been "saved."