Tabitha Paine & Tim Robertson Engagement (includes sexual assault discussion)

[JesusCampSongs]

40 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

They have a wedding registry at bed bath and beyond:

https://registry.theknot.com/tabitha-paine-tim-robertson-april-2017/17573962

I actually like most of the things she picked...

That's all well and good, but they should probably go ahead and set up one of those "fund our honeymoon" things, only for Tim's legal fees for the next time he accidentally anally rapes someone. I mean, if it happened once...

[VooDooChild]

17 minutes ago, JesusCampSongs said:

That's all well and good, but they should probably go ahead and set up one of those "fund our honeymoon" things, only for Tim's legal fees for the next time he accidentally anally rapes someone. I mean, if it happened once...

I really am rather frightened for Tabitha.  Did alarm bell really not go off in her head when she found out?  Or did they and she ignored them because Jesus?  This poor girl....

[season of life]

I'm feeling worried for Tabitha's safety. I would not want to be alone with a man like that, even for a second.

[front hugs > duggs]

nobody has bought anything off the registry. praying that's a good sign :\ 

[Carm_88]

7 hours ago, eveandadam said:

They have a wedding registry at bed bath and beyond:

https://registry.theknot.com/tabitha-paine-tim-robertson-april-2017/17573962

I actually like most of the things she picked...

Except the fiance, she does have good taste. 

[eveandadam]

It's probably wrong to apply a scale to all the fundie scandals out there and I admit I haven't even read about most of them here on fj or elsewhere in the internet. I just know about the Duggar scandals, the Bates' close involvement with Gothard, some of the Gothard scandals themselves. But this might actually be the worst of all that I know of and nothing even happened to Tabitha, yet.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure there are worse scandals are out there but this one just hits really close to home for me and there is not a day I don't think about Tabitha's situation. Pretty pathetic, I know.

Tabitha, if you only knew that there is a liberal, feminist maybe-christian in the middle of Europe who is actually and literally praying for your safety! This maybe-christian doesn't even know how to pray "properly" because she has never been taught by anyone and it is even frowned upon in her environment. Second strike on pathetic behavior, i know. Sorry, not sorry!

[QuiverDance]

Reading my post it sounds so dysfunctional and crazy. My ex works hard to portray the opposite of that. He is successful and comes across as competent. But I think he is very dysfunctional inside and that comes out in his tall tales.  All of those were told to me over a period of years. In the shooting he was protecting an elderly neighbor.  In the wife stories he was casting himself as the good husband who'd been maligned and wronged.  The father story is self explanatory. 

[formergothardite]

15 hours ago, eveandadam said:

just know about the Duggar scandals, the Bates' close involvement with Gothard, some of the Gothard scandals themselves. But this might actually be the worst of all that I know of and nothing even happened to Tabitha, yet.

Have you read the lawsuit against IBLP that includes Gil Bates? It is pretty horrific. It also includes Tabatha's father and makes it pretty clear that what is being done with Tabathat isn't surprising in that belief system. 

[eveandadam]

9 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Have you read the lawsuit against IBLP that includes Gil Bates? It is pretty horrific. It also includes Tabatha's father and makes it pretty clear that what is being done with Tabathat isn't surprising in that belief system. 

No, I didn't. I've only read the stories on recovering grace, which are horrific, too. Is it worse than marrying his own daughter, whom he has brainwashed to obey to a male headship and to not make use of her basic human rights, off to a convicted rapist?

[formergothardite]

35 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

Is it worse than marrying his own daughter, whom he has brainwashed to obey to a male headship and to not make use of her basic human rights, off to a convicted rapist?

Gil Bates did send his own young teen daughters off to travel with a man who he knew had a long history of doing inappropriate things to the young teen girls who traveled with him, so he is hardly father of the year. I also don't think he would blink an eye at marrying his own daughter off to a rapist. 

Spoiler

Gil and Paine both participated in trying to manipulate a woman to meet alone with one of the people who sexually abused her as a child. The letter is included in the lawsuit. That is the sort of person Gil is.  There are some really, really bad things in that lawsuit. 

 

[RosyDaisy]

It's vile, no question. This is why we say the Bates are evil regardless of what they wear, what they do, or how they appear on their show and social media.

[wikinggirl]

On 25.2.2017 at 4:55 PM, eveandadam said:

They have a wedding registry at bed bath and beyond:

https://registry.theknot.com/tabitha-paine-tim-robertson-april-2017/17573962

I actually like most of the things she picked...

They have four shower curtains on there. FOUR?!?! How many bathrooms do they have? 

[16strong]

2 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

They have four shower curtains on there. FOUR?!?! How many bathrooms do they have? 

In all fairness, they are fundies who plan on having eleventy bajillion kids. They'll need all the bathrooms they can get.

[Queen Of Hearts]

On ‎2‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 1:39 PM, front hugs > duggs said:

nobody has bought anything off the registry. praying that's a good sign :\ 

My own hope is that when she shut down her FB page that that was a sign that she also called off the engagement.  If nothing on that registry gets touched in the next few weeks I will take that as a very good sign.

[louisa05]

5 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

They have four shower curtains on there. FOUR?!?! How many bathrooms do they have? 

It is actually two curtains and two liners. So that would be for two bathrooms. 

I like the blue comforter set. I really want a new one but we are hoping to move by the end of the summer, so I want to wait for the new house before I pick anything. 

[wikinggirl]

11 hours ago, louisa05 said:

It is actually two curtains and two liners. So that would be for two bathrooms. 

I like the blue comforter set. I really want a new one but we are hoping to move by the end of the summer, so I want to wait for the new house before I pick anything. 

Ah,ok. We just use one shower curtain, no need for a liner. 

[catlady]

i used to be the queen of shower curtains.  in my last apartment, we had a *tiny* bathroom, 5' x 7' with gray tile, so every color looked nice in there.  just me and Mr. CatLady, and i could scrub down every surface in 20 min flat; i loved it.  i had pairs of towels in more than half a dozen colors, and i bought matching shower curtains (and rings/hooks) whenever i'd find them on clearance.  at one point i had eleven.  i changed them out every couple of months.  i'd pair them with dollar-store liners, in colors if i could find them.  probably the most i ever paid for any one of the curtains was $12.  i favored fabric over plastic.  

i sold everything at a yard sale after we bought our house, since the tub came with glass doors.  

[Palimpsest]

On 2/26/2017 at 0:26 PM, eveandadam said:

No, I didn't. I've only read the stories on recovering grace, which are horrific, too. Is it worse than marrying his own daughter, whom he has brainwashed to obey to a male headship and to not make use of her basic human rights, off to a convicted rapist?

I think this link has the latest version of the amended lawsuit.  Trigger Warning - it is a very tough read.   https://homeschoolersanonymous.org/2016/08/22/lawsuit-against-bill-gothard-and-iblp-amended/: 

On 2/26/2017 at 9:56 PM, Queen Of Hearts said:

My own hope is that when she shut down her FB page that that was a sign that she also called off the engagement.  If nothing on that registry gets touched in the next few weeks I will take that as a very good sign.

Sorry to break the news, but someone has bought the Pyrex Bake and Store set for $29.99.

[eveandadam]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I think this link has the latest version of the amended lawsuit.  Trigger Warning - it is a very tough read.   https://homeschoolersanonymous.org/2016/08/22/lawsuit-against-bill-gothard-and-iblp-amended/: 

 

Thanks for posting. I can only read the summary, but maybe that is all I should know. It's worse than I thought. I didn't know there are rape allegations against him.

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Thanks for posting. I can only read the summary, but maybe that is all I should know. It's worse than I thought. I didn't know there are rape allegations against him.

You are welcome.  It really does make hard reading because it is not just Gothard's behaviors and actions.  There was a systematic and institutionalized culture of sexual abuse within IBLP, abusive behavior was ignored, victim shaming was embedded in the teachings and, especially at HQ, sexual abuse was rampant.   No one who was there in a position of power has clean hands, including the Board of Directors both past and present.

Worth emphasizing, the latest rape accusations are from 2014 when both Paine and Bates were firmly ensconced on the BOD.   They are collaborators in the abuse and up to their respective dirty little necks in the cover-up.  That is why I'm not surprised that Dr. Paine doesn't have a problem with Tabitha's fiance - because per Paine's thinking he is bound to be innocent and shaming the victim is exactly Paine's MO.  As for Gil Bates - he's evil too.  He's even worse than the Duggars, it can't be said often enough.

[JermajestyDuggar]

If Tabitha's registry suddenly becomes active you'll have an idea when the shower is taking place. When I buy things off a wedding registry, I notice there is very little activity until a week before the actual shower and then suddenly everyone buys stuff quickly. Since only one thing has been bought, her shower probably isn't this weekend. 

[ophelia]

On 23.2.2017 at 10:31 PM, QuiverDance said:

I found out stuff about my ex after the fact that wasn't true, too.  He told me his ex wife had left him for a woman.  Not true.  He told me his ex wife had been raped as a teenager and had mental problems.  Not true.  He told me he had shot someone in self defense.  Not true.  He told me his estranged father (who had abandoned him) had embezzeled large sums of money from a former employer and gotten away with it.  Not true.  In other words, he was a pathological liar.  

I'm feeling really sorry for you! I have my own experiences with pathological liars and they caused a lot of damage in my life.

On 25.2.2017 at 5:57 PM, VooDooChild said:

I really am rather frightened for Tabitha.  Did alarm bell really not go off in her head when she found out?  Or did they and she ignored them because Jesus?  This poor girl....

Even if she is indeed able to have a thought for herself, I doubt that anyone would really care. She is only a woman and has to submit to her fathers wishes and desires. And if he says Tim is a good match, I don't really see her (or any other uberfundie girl) say no to her headships choice.

On 26.2.2017 at 6:40 PM, formergothardite said:

Gil Bates did send his own young teen daughters off to travel with a man who he knew had a long history of doing inappropriate things to the young teen girls who traveled with him, so he is hardly father of the year. I also don't think he would blink an eye at marrying his own daughter off to a rapist. 

  Hide contents

Gil and Paine both participated in trying to manipulate a woman to meet alone with one of the people who sexually abused her as a child. The letter is included in the lawsuit. That is the sort of person Gil is.  There are some really, really bad things in that lawsuit. 

 

I think nowadays he'd probably think twice before he marries one of his daughters off to guy like Tim. It could be such a damage to their brand that he might have to work or loan money from his children to feed his brood.

[BobTheWalrus]

On 25/01/2017 at 6:59 PM, usedbicycle said:

THIS! I remember as a teen listening wide-eyed to the juicy testimonies of ex-bad guys at revival camps, and then thinking my own life and faith were kind of...boring? 

These testimonies are hugely problematic because they lump in all kinds of "sins", whether there were any victims or not. The sinful lifestyle ranges from being gay, or taking drugs, to exploiting women as a pimp or even murder. Those are all presented as equally bad, and that's messed up. Because I might consider dating an ex-addict who had a rough start in life, but not a man who "used to be gay" (lol), and CERTAINLY not a rapist. But for believers, a clean slate is a clean slate.

The way I see it is, yes, a clean slate is a clean slate in terms of God counting you forgiven and accrediting Jesus' righteousness to you. BUT that doesn't mean you don't have messes to sort out. In fact, I would say that if a person has truly repented, they will be the first one to say they need help, or need to make restitution.  Zaccheus in the Bible was a fraud and a thief, and the first thing he does when he receives his salvation is to give half his riches to the poor, and pay back 4 times the amount he has cheated off anybody.  Or to give a modern day example, the evangelist/ Christian speaker Todd White.  He was heavily into drugs, and had a terrible relationship with his girlfriend (now wife) and young daughter. And when he got saved, the first thing he did was apologise for how he had been, explain to them that he needed to get cleaned up, and went into rehab. He didn't go whining to them that they should get over it and forgive him, because he realised that he has screwed up hugely and needed to sort himself out.  He completed rehab, he cleaned out his home of all the drug paraphernalia and porn and anything associated with his old lifestyle, and when he was sorted out, only then did he ask anything of his family.  And even then, it was asking, not demanding. 

[HermioneSparrow]

On 26/2/2017 at 2:40 PM, formergothardite said:

Gil Bates did send his own young teen daughters off to travel with a man who he knew had a long history of doing inappropriate things to the young teen girls who traveled with him, so he is hardly father of the year. I also don't think he would blink an eye at marrying his own daughter off to a rapist. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Gil and Paine both participated in trying to manipulate a woman to meet alone with one of the people who sexually abused her as a child. The letter is included in the lawsuit. That is the sort of person Gil is.  There are some really, really bad things in that lawsuit. 

 

I wanna read the lawsuit, do you have a link or something? I would appreciate it. Thanks

[Palimpsest]

49 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

I wanna read the lawsuit, do you have a link or something? I would appreciate it. Thanks

I posted the link to the lawsuit right on this page.

I know, I don't always read ahead before I post either.