Unintentionally hilarious religious art

[older than allosaurs]

39 minutes ago, elliha said:

Not hilarious but this altar picture: https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jukkasjärvi_kyrka (second picture of the  pictures in the gallery in this article) has been criticized by some for making Jesus look too Jewish.

Is it a Sami church?

[elliha]

Just now, older than allosaurs said:

Is it a Sami church?

It is in a Sami area but not exclusively meant for Sami people. The other pictures show scenes from the life of Levi Laestadius, a priest who was part of a religious movement in Northern Sweden (and I think also Finland and Norway). One of his theological inspirations was a Sami woman and many Sami people belonged and still belong to this particular branch of Christianity. It is rather strict but at the time when many people drank their life away more or less it was probably not a bad thing for those who turned their life around. One of the more typical features of this movement is not using birth control, my school friend whose parents belonged to this movement had 8 kids. Being from the north of Sweden and one of 5 kids often means people asking me if my parents belonged to "a certain movement" referring to this one but mine are just more or less heathen who liked having many kids.

[older than allosaurs]

13 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

Why is Jesus wearing Johnny Depp eyeliner?

  With you always...

2 minutes ago, elliha said:

It is in a Sami area but not exclusively meant for Sami people. The other pictures show scenes from the life of Levi Laestadius, a priest who was part of a religious movement in Northern Sweden (and I think also Finland and Norway). One of his theological inspirations was a Sami woman and many Sami people belonged and still belong to this particular branch of Christianity. It is rather strict but at the time when many people drank their life away more or less it was probably not a bad thing for those who turned their life around. One of the more typical features of this movement is not using birth control, my school friend whose parents belonged to this movement had 8 kids. Being from the north of Sweden and one of 5 kids often means people asking me if my parents belonged to "a certain movement" referring to this one but mine are just more or less heathen who liked having many kids.

Thanks for the information. It's very interesting. I was recently reading a book that dealt in part with Sami culture and know I know a little more. The Jesus image looked more Sami than Jewish to me (based on pretty skimpy knowledge on my part).

[older than allosaurs]

I don't know why my two posts conflated. I didn't mean Johnny Jesus and the Sami to run together.

 

[elliha]

5 minutes ago, older than allosaurs said:

I don't know why my two posts conflated. I didn't mean Johnny Jesus and the Sami to run together.

 

I don't think Sami people have anything against Johnny Depp so I see no problem with that...

I think there is some time limit where posts are automatically put together like that.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

1 hour ago, elliha said:

Not hilarious but this altar picture: https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jukkasjärvi_kyrka (second picture of the  pictures in the gallery in this article) has been criticized by some for making Jesus look too Jewish.

I find this sort of controversy ridiculous. I mean how can Jesus be portrayed as "too Jewish"? He WAS Jewish, I thought that nobody had tried to deny it but maybe I am wrong and people went from conveniently forgetting about his heritage to somehow negate it.

[elliha]

Just now, laPapessaGiovanna said:

I find this sort of controversy ridiculous. I mean how can Jesus be portrayed as "too Jewish"? He WAS Jewish, I thought that nobody had tried to deny it but maybe I am wrong and people went from conveniently forgetting about his heritage to somehow negate it.

I agree, Jesus looking Jewish (whatever that is) would be the most logical thing. I do know some that say that since Jesus was the son of God he could have looked differently from the rest of the population. I have always pictured him Middle Eastern looking though. 

[fraurosena]

According to 'the many faces of jesus' on nairaland.com, this is the Haitian version of Jesus. I'm flabbergasted, not only by the art itself, but also by what it's trying to convey. Because, what the heck is going on on this picture? Is that dude in blue poking his own eye out?, Is the guy in red with his hands on his head astounded by the malformation of Haitian Jesus' toes? And what on earth is the little person version of Sammy Davis Jr. doing in this pic? 

 

[Mercer]

1 hour ago, elliha said:

I do know some that say that since Jesus was the son of God he could have looked differently from the rest of the population. 

There isn't really biblical support for that, though. Per Isaiah 53:2, which Christianity typically takes as a prophecy about Jesus, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." While this mainly eliminates the concept of hot Jesus (sorry!), it also seems seems to suggest that there was nothing noteworthy in his appearance that would attract attention. Appearing to be a totally different race or ethnicity than everyone around him would surely merit a comment at that point if the author intended him to be pictured that way. There is no non-metaphorical physical description of Jesus anywhere in the Bible - which again suggests the authors did not perceive there would be anything special about how he looked, since after all if he did have an exceptional appearance it would help his case for being someone extraordinary, so surely that fact would have been hammered home at every possible opportunity if anyone had been thinking it.

I realize you're just quoting other people, Elliha, not speaking for yourself, so this is aimed at them, not at you. But it's amazing to me the lengths people will go to justify making Jesus white when that clearly would not have been the case - that so-called "biblical literalists" would rather throw out the Bible than admit that Jesus would not have been a white person.

[elliha]

1 minute ago, Mercer said:

There isn't really biblical support for that, though. Per Isaiah 53:2, which Christianity typically takes as a prophecy about Jesus, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." While this mainly eliminates the concept of hot Jesus (sorry!), it also seems seems to suggest that there was nothing noteworthy in his appearance that would attract attention. Appearing to be a totally different race or ethnicity than everyone around him would surely merit a comment at that point if the author intended him to be imagined that way. There is no non-metaphorical physical description of Jesus anywhere in the Bible - which again suggests the authors did not perceive there would be anything special about how he looked, since after all if he did have an exceptional appearance it would help his case for being someone extraordinary, so surely that fact would have been hammered home at every possible opportunity if anyone had been thinking it.

I realize you're just quoting other people, Elliha, not speaking for yourself, so this is aimed at them, not at you. But it's amazing to me the lengths people will go to justify making Jesus white when that clearly would not have been the case - that so-called "biblical literalists" would rather throw out the Bible than admit that Jesus would not have been a white person.

I think that the most support I find for believing that Jesus looked like most people in the region at the time is that you can kind read between the lines of the Gospels that while Jesus said some things that some people didn't like they don't seem to have seen him as a stranger but as "one of us" despite this and this is my main motivation for my own view.

Whatever Jesus looked like, he probably did not have blond hair and very light skin but I have seen him pictured that way sometimes. 

[AmazonGrace]

43 minutes ago, fraurosena said:

? Is that dude in blue poking his own eye out?,

 

Matthew 5:29?

if your right eye offend thee pluck it out and cast it from thee for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
 

They made a pretty big deal that Jesus was the son of David with chronologies so at least on his mother's side he presumably got the sort of genes that were prevalent in the region... but maybe if your father is White God' his genes may turn out to be dominant.

[CTRLZero]

51 minutes ago, fraurosena said:

what the heck is going on on this picture?

My eyesight is terrible -- is the title of the artwork at the bottom edge, and can someone read it for me?  In the background, it looks like a laboratory from the articles on the shelf.  Is a jar with "Abby Normal" just out of sight? 

It's an interesting picture, whatever the explanation.

[Black Aliss]

5 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

@laPapessaGiovanna Even many mainstream conservative Christians realize that 99.9 percent of self-proclaimed Christian art is devoid of artistic merit, but they've bought into the "wholesome trap" and can't envision any alternatives that would give secular Hollywood a run for its money.

There was always Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, who was a huge hit with Christians because of his devoutness and life-affirming values, or wholesomeness, if you will.

Quote

As a devout Christian, Thomas Kinkade used his gift as a vehicle to communicate and spread inherent life affirming values. Thom credited the Heavenly Father for both the ability and the inspiration to create his paintings. These paintings in particular are a testament to his faith.

Then, not long after he was arrested for urinating on (or, as he put it, ritual territory marking) a Winnie-the-Pooh statue at a Disneyland hotel, was sued for fraud, filed for bankruptcy, caused a scene at a Siegfried and Roy show in Vegas by repeated yelling "Codpiece!", he OD'd on alcohol and valium. I'm guessing he's not being remembered so much for his wholesomeness these days.

1 hour ago, fraurosena said:

According to 'the many faces of jesus' on nairaland.com, this is the Haitian version of Jesus. I'm flabbergasted, not only by the art itself, but also by what it's trying to convey. Because, what the heck is going on on this picture? Is that dude in blue poking his own eye out?, Is the guy in red with his hands on his head astounded by the malformation of Haitian Jesus' toes? And what on earth is the little person version of Sammy Davis Jr. doing in this pic? 

 

I love that painting. I could stare at it for hours trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

Jesus and his followers all had severe bunions and hammer toes!?! I had no idea, but that goes a long way to explain why a certain former mommy blogger/internet celebrity famous among hundreds and favored by Jesus loves to post photos of her gnarly feet on Instagram. She's being Christlike!

[Terrie]

1 hour ago, fraurosena said:

I'm flabbergasted, not only by the art itself, but also by what it's trying to convey. Because, what the heck is going on on this picture? Is that dude in blue poking his own eye out?, Is the guy in red with his hands on his head astounded by the malformation of Haitian Jesus' toes? And what on earth is the little person version of Sammy Davis Jr. doing in this pic? 

 

Best guess is that it's the story of Jesus ditching his parents to hang out at the Temple and amazing the elders. I guess they are supposed to be awed and amazed.

[Howl]

31 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

There was always Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, who was a huge hit with Christians because of his devoutness and life-affirming values, or wholesomeness, if you will.

I was wondering when Thomas Kinkade would show up on this thread.  Yeah, he did have a sad end. I was gifted a Thomas Kinkade mug for Christmas one year, and the giver made sure I understood that the gift related to that particular painter was meant ironically. 

[smittykins]

On 1/6/2017 at 11:23 PM, church_of_dog said:

Oleo Lord... 

Here's a version including the post-fire verse:

"I can't believe it's not Jesus..."

[MayMay1123]

1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

My eyesight is terrible -- is the title of the artwork at the bottom edge, and can someone read it for me?  In the background, it looks like a laboratory from the articles on the shelf.  Is a jar with "Abby Normal" just out of sight? 

It's an interesting picture, whatever the explanation.

i think one jar, with the spout going into the other jar= turning water into wine. all the way at the bottom i read 'Jesus...' but i can't make out the rest

[ladyamylynn]

2 hours ago, fraurosena said:

According to 'the many faces of jesus' on nairaland.com, this is the Haitian version of Jesus. I'm flabbergasted, not only by the art itself, but also by what it's trying to convey. Because, what the heck is going on on this picture? Is that dude in blue poking his own eye out?, Is the guy in red with his hands on his head astounded by the malformation of Haitian Jesus' toes? And what on earth is the little person version of Sammy Davis Jr. doing in this pic? 

 

Jesus appears to have some Klingon DNA by the looks of his forehead here.

[fraurosena]

1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

My eyesight is terrible -- is the title of the artwork at the bottom edge, and can someone read it for me?  In the background, it looks like a laboratory from the articles on the shelf.  Is a jar with "Abby Normal" just out of sight? 

It's an interesting picture, whatever the explanation.

I enlarged the picture and as far as I can make out it says 'Jesus et les Docteurs', which means Jesus and the doctors. Maybe he's there to get his bunions removed?

[AmazonGrace]

I thought the short guy with the halo is Jesus? 

[fraurosena]

4 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I thought the short guy with the halo is Jesus? 

Wait... what? Sammy Davis Jr. is Jesus in disguise? 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

7 minutes ago, fraurosena said:

I enlarged the picture and as far as I can make out it says 'Jesus et les Docteurs', which means Jesus and the doctors. Maybe he's there to get his bunions removed?

This definitely credits the thesis of child Jesus talking with the elders in the temple (in italian, and I think in french too the elders are often defined as the doctors of the law or doctors of the temple, where doctor doesn't stand for medical professional).

[AmazonGrace]

For all their godliness, Joseph and Mary strike me as a little unattentive parents... I mean, anyone can lose their kid in a crowd but they didn't even notice until they'd traveled for a day. 

[Granwych]

On ‎1‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 1:48 PM, AmazonGrace said:

Jesus has half a leg here: 

Jesus looks a tad bit cross-eyed here.

[AmazonGrace]

10 minutes ago, Granwych said:

Jesus looks a tad bit cross-eyed here.

The perspective is a bit wonky to me, I think it looks like we're  looking at  Jesus from the side but more on his level, and the cop and the kids more from an angle from  above. Yet the cop's head and Jesus' head are about the same level horizontally. Jesus's center of mass is balanced differently somehow and his upright is a bit different from the cop and the kids' upright. 

I don't know if that made any sense.