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Grimalkin

Unintentionally hilarious religious art

299 posts in this topic

2 hours ago, fraurosena said:

SOTDRT fails galore! 
(But what can you expect from someone whose parents couldn't even spell Elisabeth Anne properly? :pb_lol:)

How many can you count?

sinful birthcontrol.jpg

Holy run-on sentence. Batman!

5

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8 minutes ago, smittykins said:

Holy run-on sentence. Batman!

MANY FALSE CHRIST MARRIAGES ARE LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL AND: NOW LEADING THE AMERICAN CHURCH WEALTH! 

...nonsensical-run-on-all-caps-epic-punctuation-fail.  WIN!

Edited by Howl
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49 minutes ago, Howl said:

MANY FALSE CHRIST MARRIAGES ARE LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL AND: NOW LEADING THE AMERICAN CHURCH WEALTH! 

...nonsensical-run-on-all-caps-epic-punctuation-fail.  WIN!

I'm still wondering what the heck she means with 'ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!' ...  :confusion-shrug:

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Oh, and just in case anyone was wondering what this book is about, I heartily recommend this wonderful review on GoodReads, that contains literal excerpts from this book:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/319109749

There are only 7 reviews on amazon, but they are worth a read too. I was surprised (to put it mildly) to see that 2 (TWO!!) of these were five-star ratings. Until I read them... :crying-pink:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/1425992609/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=recent

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25 minutes ago, fraurosena said:

I heartily recommend this wonderful review on GoodReads, that contains literal excerpts from this book

Thank you for this!  I read all the reviews and laughed so hard.  I certainly needed that today of all days.  I wonder where the author is today, and if she managed to get any $5,000 donations for holy water.

:my_smile:

 

 

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Did someone say the Volunteer Minister Handbook?! 

*glee!*

So happens, I had all the scans saved from when this thing hit the 'net years ago. 

 

Spoiler

R4QzyEX.jpg

4Esygip.jpg
Enjoying the fruits of his training, or waiting to be asked to join in there on the couch? You decide!

CLDkV6K.jpg

1OFDZCn.jpg
...young woman?

zivoggo.jpg

6Y4RtVI.jpg

u7F2WQy.jpg
"Understanding of other religions." LRH said Jesus was a child molester I don't know how much "understanding" is going on there. 

BmPBq1d.jpg
Taking bets on if Tiny Criminal there is Miscavige.

tPjxDP5.jpg
Sun worshippers or the little known Scientology production of Jesus Christ Superstar?

There's plenty more where those came from!

Edited by applejack
I accidentally a word.
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1 hour ago, applejack said:

Did someone say the Volunteer Minister Handbook?! 

*glee!*

So happens, I had all the scans saved from when this thing hit the 'net years ago. 

 

  Hide contents

R4QzyEX.jpg

4Esygip.jpg
Enjoying the fruits of his training, or waiting to be asked to join in there on the couch? You decide!

CLDkV6K.jpg

1OFDZCn.jpg
...young woman?

zivoggo.jpg

6Y4RtVI.jpg

u7F2WQy.jpg
"Understanding of other religions." LRH said Jesus was a child molester I don't know how much "understanding" is going on there. 

BmPBq1d.jpg
Taking bets on if Tiny Criminal there is Miscavige.

tPjxDP5.jpg
Sun worshippers or the little known Scientology production of Jesus Christ Superstar?

There's plenty more where those came from!

OMG! That's a minefield of snark! 

3

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@applejack, we are not worthy of this veritable cornucopia of screaming cringeworthyness -- pure gold! 

The Third Party Law?  That sequence of photos says -- Always Blame it on an Older Woman, because why not?  

The Volunteer Minister Handbook is an illustrated guide that lays out how to be annoying and inappropriate with your fellow humans. 

Also, just wanted to note that the bizarreness of ancient sun worshippers holding a thunderbolt (rain!) during worship.  Sun God be like, da fuq I just see?

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, applejack said:

Did someone say the Volunteer Minister Handbook?! 

*glee!*

So happens, I had all the scans saved from when this thing hit the 'net years ago. 

 

  Hide contents

R4QzyEX.jpg

4Esygip.jpg
Enjoying the fruits of his training, or waiting to be asked to join in there on the couch? You decide!

CLDkV6K.jpg

1OFDZCn.jpg
...young woman?

zivoggo.jpg

6Y4RtVI.jpg

u7F2WQy.jpg
"Understanding of other religions." LRH said Jesus was a child molester I don't know how much "understanding" is going on there. 

BmPBq1d.jpg
Taking bets on if Tiny Criminal there is Miscavige.

tPjxDP5.jpg
Sun worshippers or the little known Scientology production of Jesus Christ Superstar?

There's plenty more where those came from!

Most of the pictures just scream bad 70's fashion/acting. Plus, the owner of restaurant (where the cook was poisoning the food) has a passing resemblance to Ron Jeremy.

9 minutes ago, Howl said:

@applejack, we are not worthy of this veritable cornucopia of screaming cringeworthyness -- pure gold! 

The Third Party Law?  That sequence of photos says -- Always Blame it on an Older Woman, because why not?  

The Volunteer Minister Handbook is an illustrated guide that lays out how to be annoying and inappropriate with your fellow humans. 

Also, just wanted to note that the bizarreness of ancient sun worshippers holding a thunderbolt (rain!) during worship.  Sun God be like, da fuq I just see?

 

Here is the Sun God, he is the Fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra!

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What is up with the woman and her hand stuck in the door? Why didn't she just open the door and get her hand out instead of waiting for a random Scientologists to show up and do it for her? 

11

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14 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

What is up with the woman and her hand stuck in the door? Why didn't she just open the door and get her hand out instead of waiting for a random Scientologists to show up and do it for her? 

He's a magic man with magic hands, that's why. (Channeling my inner Heart.)

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Dig that yellow AMC Matador!

4

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Also, if she slammed her wrist in the door so hard that she couldn't remove it, bones are probably broken. Is Scientology claiming to heal broken bones with a magic touch? Their medical advice might be as weird as Gothard's. 

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This kind of looks like they are saying Trumpence is God. trumpence1.jpg

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Grumpypuss is the new presidential.

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7 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Grumpypuss is the new presidential.

I don't know which I hate more, Grumpypuss or that shit-eating smirk of his. 

Edited by catlady
Spell check doesn't like curse words
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I'm glad I was able to make everyone laugh a little... hell, we can all use it these days, right?

Here's the rest of the book. I hadn't posted the ones from before in any particular order, but... really. Who needs context anyway?

 

Spoiler

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HudOhmk.jpg

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Sj4jWbR.jpg

sUZNZU9.jpg

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A2ST9kh.jpg

0ZWZyiE.jpg

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EZOGspN.jpg

cS2h4W2.jpg

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S7Qlis3.jpg

sAsmplf.jpg

iiJptMs.jpg

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OTgCS6T.jpg

MyY5Pko.jpg

GdBOfxT.jpg

aapjIZL.jpg

ZZB5PUd.jpg

 

13

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Wow, @applejack the idiocy of that Handbook is gloriously hilarious!
The funniest for me was the assurance that when you're drunk you only have to look at a picture hanging on the wall and you're instantly sober... Although I have to admit that the implication that 'scientology technology' is a children's drawing with a sun and a cloud on it does have it's humourous merits too.

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"Do you know that among the aims of Scientology are a civilisation without insanity, without criminals and without war?"

Seriously? THIS, coming from a Scientology manual? 

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9 hours ago, applejack said:

I'm glad I was able to make everyone laugh a little... hell, we can all use it these days, right?

Here's the rest of the book. I hadn't posted the ones from before in any particular order, but... really. Who needs context anyway?

 

  Hide contents

 

HudOhmk.jpg

 

 

There are countless snark-worthy pictures in this, but this one in particular struck me immediately. Who knew that sideburns were in vogue back in the day?

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On 20/01/2017 at 3:42 PM, fraurosena said:

I'm still wondering what the heck she means with 'ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!' ...  :confusion-shrug:

I'm scratching my head over that one, too...  :dontgetit:

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The interested may wish to check out the previous thread: 

 which includes the explanation to the mysterious black belt.

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1 hour ago, CyborgKin said:

The interested may wish to check out the previous thread: 

 which includes the explanation to the mysterious black belt.

Hurrah, I learned a new word today: Taejuekempo! 

Oops, my bad, it's TAEJUEKEMPO! :crying-pink:

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