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samurai_sarah

Maxhell Part 6 - Boring you to death since...

580 posts in this topic

We need to give the thread a better title,  like Maxhell  fate worse than death

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13 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

We need to give the thread a better title,  like Maxhell  fate worse than death

Is that title better? Sorry, saving the "fate worse than death", until they post another burrito recipe. :)

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1 hour ago, samurai_sarah said:

Is that title better? Sorry, saving the "fate worse than death", until they post another burrito recipe. :)

Excellent.

Edited by Coconut Flan
Removed unnecessary quote box.
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Sarah was such a cute little kid! Which makes her current situation all the more depressing. 

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That photo of the sisters together in the "we're going to Denver" post...

Mary is wearing the shortest skirt I have ever seen on a Maxwell daughter. In fact, the younger the sister the shorter the skirt.

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I have been wondering about Sarah.

How old is she now, 38? Why do you think she never started to do some kind of ministry work, or got involved in christian volunteering?

I mean, she has nothing to do all day, except "serving her family" and isn't one of their mantras not so waste time? I understand (I don't, but you know) that she can't work and couldn't get an education when she was younger. but why doesn't she help others more with her free time? I mean really help, like serve food in homeless shelters, help young single mothers in need, join a charity (any charity really) and participate several times a week. She could also meet relatively like minded people that are more her age (I don't mean a possible partner, just in a "fellowshipping" sense). It could give her life so much more meaning. They too must realize that possibly not allowing a 30-Something year old women to go volunteering by herself is beyond ridiculous.

Instead they gave her this dog that seems to be a surrogate-baby since she doesn't (and probably won't) have any of her own. And let's be real, there are a ton of women "serving their Family" in that family, so it isn't like she is desperately needed for chores.

On top of that I've noticed she has kind of retreated from family activities. i am sure some of it is due to her writing the blog and not wanting to be in the spotlight. But look at the operation christmas child  post for instance, she was not supposed to be going, and only went when "plans changed".

I mean don't get me wrong, I would be getting depressed too if that was my life and my future, but really what IS their plan for her?

Is she supposed to do nothing else but have a dog and cuddle her nieces and nephews until the day she dies?

 

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^^ She's 35 - turning 36 in February I think.

I too wonder what Sarah or indeed any of the girls actually do each day.

Somehow I suspect that their schedules have been adapted to make them busy for busyness' sake. Like - 15 minutes each day checking for non-existent book orders, planning meetings for the virtually non-existant "ministry", planning sessions for the planning session for the grocery shopping list creation, planning each Sunday service (even though it's probably the same Death Death Death sermon and same 5 hymns each week).

Chuck in dog walks, a few weekday visits to "the elderly" and increase non-essential housework (the Lord could have told Steve that he demands the ceiling fans be cleaned daily) and you can fill it up that schedule with basically nothing quite easily. 

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I wonder far more about what Anna and Mary do all day.  Anna seems to do the majority of the cooking, but Mary?  She draws.  And they clean, shop for Christmas boxes and pack them. Since Stevo folded 1TonRamp they aren't even answering the phones for feminine queries about computer stuff.  I suppose they are also practicing their music, but the family band seems to have folded with the conference schedule.  An awful lot of hours are spent in Bible time and exercise though.

Her brothers have credited Sarah with doing a lot of administration, paperwork, and keeping the books for their various business.  She has also written the Moody books, packs up merchandise, does the blog, which Anna was supposed to take over, seems to have delayed her next masterpiece to help Teri revise Moth, and drops everything to run and take photos of others doing mundane tasks on demand.

But at least Steve lets her have Ellie.

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I'd hope with all the girls(I hate saying that for 3 adult women but let's be real they are girls in their world) that they are helping their sisters-in-law at least once a week or volunteering because if not it's definitely just being "busy" for busyness sake. 

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I wonder if Sarah is developing depression like her mother did.  She seems to be withdrawing from the family as much as she's allowed to.  She has only her dog to give her unconditional love and attention.

I'm riding the speculation bus big time here, but will Steve let her continue to withdraw, get her proper counseling (yeah, right), or try to force her into marriage and children?  Having more children worked wonders for Steve's own wife, don't you know.

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41 minutes ago, Justmurrayed said:

I'd hope with all the girls(I hate saying that for 3 adult women but let's be real they are girls in their world) that they are helping their sisters-in-law at least once a week or volunteering because if not it's definitely just being "busy" for busyness sake. 

Thank you.  Even out here in The Scary Wild World Outside My Da's Umbrella, it seems that the words "woman" and "women" have disappeared from the lexicon.  Next time I hear a 50-year-old, self-supporting executive call herself some kind of "girl," well, I don't know what.  (ETA: I probably need to find something other than QVC for the Junedogs to listen to throughout the day.  Holy frack, girl this and girl that. Anyhoo.)

Back on-topic.  I am one of those who've seen Nathan's "crazy eyes" in person, and I regret the times I used the "c" word to describe them, now that I've seen photos of him as a youngster and have an inkling of how good he was to his sibs.  Indeed, his eyes -- how do I describe it? - they're like former first lady Barbara Bush's, in a way: you see the tops of their irises more often than usual.  Does that make sense? I think Mrs. Bush's was thyroid-related.  No idea about Nathan's.

But I do want to say again how favorably impressed I was when I observed Nathan and The Nathan Maxwell Family in person, back when Abby and Bethy were the extent of the children.  (I think Mel was carrying Tina but it hadn't been announced.) For whatever reason, Nate was in the front row of a section of the audience and Mel and the girls were in the back.  Beth was about 14, 15 months?---and she chirped up, "Hi, Daddy!" in the middle of her grandparents' sobfest presentation.  Nathan turned around to look, his face neutral, and after about 3 seconds his face broke into a warm smile and he nodded at his family and then turned back around.  He seemed to be responsive and caring.

I also stood nearby at the book sales table while he interacted with fans and his sisters behind the table.  He had a vibe of pleasantness and easy warmth.

OK, remind me never to use the "c" word about him again, if ever I do. 

Also: Poor Sarah.

She's alluded to how she's still reacting to the awful dog-pack attack on Ellie during one of their walks.  Honestly, she's taught to feel afraid of the world, she gets a little independence (walking Ellie alone) and that happens.  Woman can't catch a break!

 

Edited by MamaJunebug
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I think those three are still just really keeping house for their parents and brothers. There's many tasks you can stretch - you can throw a load of clothes in the washing machine then in the dryer and declare it's done (and pick it out of the dryer as and when each item is needed). Or you could collect dirty laundry from half a dozen hampers (each family member surely has their own hamper?). And change the lining of the hampers. And drop everything because one of the liners has a little tear - get out the sewing machine, go out to buy some thread in the right colour, and repair that tear straight away! Then separate the items not just by light / dark but by material and sub-colour (white, non-white light, slightly dark, definitely dark etc). And you can hand-wash a number of "delicate" items. Or run several machine loads on different settings and with different (home-made!) detergents. And then iron the items straight out of the machine, with a bit of starch so those chinos really look neat, and hang them out to dry outside, and schedule three separate checks on the laundry to remove items as soon as they're dry, and then iron every single item, including the socks, and put them away, not just in any old drawer, but in a precisely ordered and methodical fashion so that the drawer looks like a masterpiece of structural organisation.

If you use the first method (like me, I'm a slob), laundry is a non-event you do on your way to work or between work and going out in the evening. If you use the second method, and I would be surprised if the Maxwells don't have a variation on that, it can easily take you half a day. Go to a SIL's house to do the same for her and here you go, that's a day gone. Being busy-busy-busy doing something that didn't really need that level of intense conscientiousness.

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You make a good point about stretching activities to fill the day. It reminds me of the 1950s when the housewife life was the only option for middle/upper-class women in the US. Domesticity became an art to help fill those long empty days. I can make my family a simple dinner in less than 30 minutes or I can turn it into an all-day event by making fancy things with several courses.

 

Also with all their talk about being frugal for Jesus, I would think the Maxwells make their own laundry soap/cleaning supplies/etc. Of course, Sarah would mention it and say "blog post about it coming soon!!" and it never will...! :D

Edited by bertnee
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I'm way behind on the Maxwells, but I see I haven't missed much. I'm just popping in to share a granola recipe for @molecule that is easy and tasty, from Cook's Illustrated/America's Test Kitchen. Their website isn't google-friendly, so here's a link from the first google search result I found.

https://www.kcet.org/food/weekend-recipe-almond-granola-with-dried-fruit

Now I'm off to catch up on page after page of parfait (and probably granola) discussion. :tw_expressionless:

Edited by halcionne
provided better link
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I'm sure that mandatory prayer can fill any "free" time between chores.

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I remember one of Steve's ramblings about having to accompany a son or two to a homeless shelter to volunteer because of the bad influences they could come under there.

However I remember it, the point is, Sarah cannot go out and use her time productively serving others because it would expose her to people her father doesn't want her exposed to. If volunteering at a fucking shelter is too dangerous for one of his offspring to do without him, clearly the influences Sarah could encounter would endanger her very soul.

Or, you know, show her there is life outside the cult she was born and raised into and she might see that "all those big bad people in the world" aren't really so bad after all.

Plus, it wouldn't make any money and they must always, always do something that is productive and makes money rather than fun or caring or giving for the sake of it.

Steve won't have it.

Anything Sarah does with or during her life will be with an accountability partner so the bad influences can't get to her or from within the family unit. Period. Even her 'friends' are relatives-her sister in law's family.

No outside thoughts allowed, ever, so no Maxwell can ever be like Christ and help those in need.

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I suspect each of the "girls" is seconded to each of the married sons families as an unpaid nanny. One of them is definitely helping Nathan and Melanie - she's supposed to be homeschooling but probably on bed rest again for her entire pregnancy! Or maybe Abbie is already running the household now AND homeschooling the little ones - she is about 8 yrs old, after all!

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I don't doubt that the 'at home' Maxwell women's lives are filled with unpaid nannying and lots of pointless jobs to fill their time; while they wait. What in the name of all that is good are these people waiting for?

 Also I do wonder, even with their limited exposure to pretty much anything, if they know on some level there has just got to be more to life than this. How do they process that. When they see people their own ages working at the checkout or filling the shelves in the supermarket or checking the parking meters do they honestly think, ohh poor things not being lives as much as us?  Or does the thought creep in that maybe they would like to do something like that?  They have plenty of time alone with their thoughts so what if an idea creeps in?  Pray it away??? So self-brainwashing?  

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I've always wondered if the reason the Maxwells are so gung-ho on schedules is simply because they need to fill the hours of the day. While I'm sure NR Anna and Melanie need the almighty schedule since they have plenty to keep them busy with all those kids running around, what exactly is the point of having a chore schedule for a bunch of adults living together? Once,  I had a very boring retail job. Seriously, I am not cut out for commission sales. Anywhoo, on some days we'd be super slow and I'd create a schedule for myself. I'd schedule my time down to the minute doing petty chores and pointless reorganizing of displays - but it got me through the day. It made the hours pass quickly and gave me a sense of accomplishment, even though I really just fooled around for 8 hours being remotely productive. I have a feeling the Maxwells do the same thing. 

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1 hour ago, SuchABlessing said:

I've always wondered if the reason the Maxwells are so gung-ho on schedules is simply because they need to fill the hours of the day. While I'm sure NR Anna and Melanie need the almighty schedule since they have plenty to keep them busy with all those kids running around, what exactly is the point of having a chore schedule for a bunch of adults living together? Once,  I had a very boring retail job. Seriously, I am not cut out for commission sales. Anywhoo, on some days we'd be super slow and I'd create a schedule for myself. I'd schedule my time down to the minute doing petty chores and pointless reorganizing of displays - but it got me through the day. It made the hours pass quickly and gave me a sense of accomplishment, even though I really just fooled around for 8 hours being remotely productive. I have a feeling the Maxwells do the same thing. 

I've wondered the same thing, especially since they always talk about being busy even though none of them have a real job(except maybe the one who does real estate?). It makes total sense really. 

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Parkinson's Law.  Work expands, and all that.

I've always wondered, particularly about Sarah, whether the Almighty Schedule gets in the way of completing projects.  There's nothing wrong with having a schedule, it's just that when you make an idol of one it can get in the way of productivity.

Like Sarah, I write.  I work from home.  I get up at the same time every day and I have a routine that doesn't vary much.  We eat at around the same times every day, the dogs go out and eat on schedule, and they are good about reminding me if I'm running late.  I clean, I grocery shop, and so on.

However, if I'm on a hard deadline or if I'm really absorbed in a project,  I pretty much eat, sleep, and drink it.  I'm flexible and I prioritize what other things have to get done.  Some things can wait and the world doesn't collapse.  

When I'm writing I'm in the zone.  I would really hate to be interrupted in mid-paragraph for Bible time, to dust the ceiling fan just because it's 10:00 am on Friday morning, or to start cooking every day at 5:00 pm so we can eat at 6:30 pm sharp.  That is why God made crock pots and why I married a person who can cook dinner for both of us if necessary.

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Jeez another Operation Christmas Child post. One can really tell this is the highlight of their year-- especially for the girls.

Also, I just now got a look at that birthday post. You go, Sarah. That's the way a birthday post ought to be done. Very personal and heartfelt, not the usual halfassed "So-and-so likes coffee this way and Jesus and cleaning ceiling fans and eating burritos. We're so blessed to know you, blank!"

Edited by princessmahina
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Anyone else think that Jesse or one of the brothers went on the trip so that they have a male chaperone? I cannot see Steve allowing them to go to Denver by themselves. They also have to be staying at someone'a home while there because I cannot see them staying in a hotel alone. 

The birthday post was surprisingly nice. It is likely that the older kids, both female and male, had to work together to keep the household running. I would think this would be especially true when Steve was still working outside the home and Terri was battling depression. Who knows, it's possible they like helping out at their siblings homes because it's easier than being stuck at home. I would think you have to be on guard all the time so as to not make a mistake and offend Steve. They may take any opportunity to get out of the house. 

Edited by socalrules
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