Miss Raquel's 2nd Novel- Part 5

[ladyamylynn]

She would wear a long white dress to a wedding.

[formergothardite]

3 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

She would wear a long white dress to a wedding.

Raquel, like several of the people we discuss, is the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. 

[Georgiana]

7 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Raquel, like several of the people we discuss, is the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. 

Well, OF COURSE she's the bride at every wedding! She's every guy's True Love! Some guys just are too dumb/lost/ungodly to realize it, but she's the one they SHOULD be marrying! 

[formergothardite]

Raquel has a new blog post up about how she met her latest boyfriend. I have so much second hand embarrassment reading it. 

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i knew all of our regular customers by name and their drink orders by heart, but I’d never seen this guy before.  We made eye contact and I felt a weird sensation vibe through me.  Not only was he attractive but there was something about him that made me feel like I’d known him forever.  

    “Hi,” I said.

    “Hey,” he replied with a smile.

    The rest of our interaction was kind of a blur.  He ordered a freeze, paid with a card, had never been to our coffee shop before so I told him that I’d buy his next drink.  I asked him what he was up to and he said he was headed to work.

 

 

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After he left, I turned to my coworker.  “That’s my custie crush.”  (It’s kind of a thing, I guess, in the barista world to have a “custie crush”.  I hadn’t really had one up until the day I met this guy.)

Bullshit Raquel, we've read your twitter, you have crushes on customers on a regular basis. 

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I waited and waited for him to come in again.  Finally a couple weeks later, he did.  But this time, he ordered two drinks - the freeze and also a blended chai.  

    Dang it.  He has a girlfriend.  He’s probably getting this for her, I thought to myself as I made it.

    “Who’s the chai for?  I know you don’t drink chai tea.”

    “Oh it’s, uh, for a friend.”

    “Oh okay,” I said with a nod and smile, and my heart was like “Yay! I was wrong!”

    “Well here you go.  Have a good day!” I said.

    “Thank you, sweetie.  You too,” he smiled and winked at me.

 

How did she know he didn't drink chai tea if he had only been in once before? She also didn't buy his next drink. 

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If he ever does come in again, though,” I told myself trying to be hopeful, “I’m gonna give him my number.”   I’m a huge believer in men being the pursuers, but sometimes, they need a little encouragement, ya know?

She practically throws herself at every man who she thinks is hot. In theory she likes the idea of a guy pursuing her, but in reality she goes after every  guy she can. 

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One afternoon, a week or so after I had made that decision, my coworker and I were outside taking pictures for our social medias

Of course you were.

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 I heard a car pull into our parking lot and its subwoofers were bumping.  I turned to see who it was and lo and behold, he steps out of the car.  I was giddy with excitement, and then suddenly nervous.

As a sign of how old I am, all I can think about is hearing damage. But even in my 20's I was annoyed at people who insisted on blasted loud music. 

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I rushed inside (funny story - we have special keys to get in the back door, but I didn’t have one with me, so I legit climbed through the window…) and was assigned for register on that shift (again). 

Oh Raquel. 

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Hey,” he said.

    “Hi… I haven’t seen you in a while.”

    “Yeah,” he said, “I keep missing you whenever I stop in.  Do you remember my drink?”

    “24 ounce extra sweet white mocha freeze, no whip cream.”

    “Good job,” he smiled, then handed me a full stamp card (so his drink was free) and started walking towards the drink pick-up station

 

Is it just me or does this guy seem to be on the condescending side?

 

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After what seemed like forever (but my coworkers assured me it was only about 20 minutes), I got my first text from him.  We exchanged messages for a little while before he asked if I was free on Sunday.

 

 “

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I’m sure you already know this, but you’re very beautiful:)” he said.  “And also, I’m glad I got your phone number today.  I’ve been trying to get a hold of you somehow.  I’ve even called around to other coffee shops in the area to ask someone for your name and to give them my phone number for you, but I’ve had no luck.  Until today.  My dad always tells me that it only takes ten seconds of courage.  Hey, are you free on Saturday?  I got the day off and I don’t think I can wait till Sunday to see you…”

Somehow I doubt he texted all that. Why would he call other coffee shops when he knew she worked at the one coffee shop? It isn't like he didn't know where she worked. This sounds like something Raquel added in to make it more like her Pinterest version of a romance. 

[Terrie]

Didn't she once mentioned kicking someone's puppy, because it was annoying here? And now her latest fixation has a puppy? Don't leave her alone with the puppy, dude!

[formergothardite]

Yes, she kicked a dog when the owner left the room. When this relationship crashes and burns the guy better protect his dog. 

[ari_belle]

If they're "puppy parents," I'm assuming they're living together? How Christian™ of them.

 

The amount of children her parents had (and all fundie-types in general) makes me sad and mad for the planet.

 

Edit: according to her twitter, he asked her out on 6/30/17......and they got a dog. And he says he loves her. And it's only the beginning of August right now. Is it just me, or is she getting more unstable every month?

[LilMissMetaphor]

I think that this is a "fictional" in more ways than one.  Probably a milder version of it happened.  I'm sure she climbed in the window, because she's that desperate.  However--and this is my pet peeve with so much of other people's writing--her dialogue is ridiculous.  People don't talk like that.  No one says, "I'm sure you already know this, but you're very beautiful."   Or "I've had no luck."  You have to find the balance between re-creating the moment authentically and not dragging the readers out of the story by putting words in character's mouths that they would never actually say.    

 

*edited to add that if she claims he texted all that, it makes it even less believable.

[ari_belle]

6 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

People don't talk like that.  No one says, "I'm sure you already know this, but you're very beautiful."

Catcallers say shit like that to me, or Tinder dates who end up being creeps.

If a man says something like that to me, especially before I've gotten to know him, it is a HUGE red flag.

[AmazonGrace]

I have two thoughts about this. 

1. The chai may have been for a girlfriend regardless. 

2. If he went to other  coffee shops in order to ask someone give Raquel his number  instead of leaving a message at the coffee shop she works in he doesn't seem very bright. 

[Shoobydoo]

The "I know you don't drink chai" comment is just friggin' weird. I am somewhat familiar with the baristas at my local Target (don't judge me ), and they seem like nice people. One of them was really excited about our MST3K live show shirts. They don't make strange, judgemental statements about our drink orders, nor would I expect them to remember what I order every weekend. I would probably avoid a coffee shop that had a Raquel-esque barista.   Then again, I'm usually not trying to hook up with my baristas, either....

[xRoo]

Raquel is singing about how "he fucks me so good" on her music instagram. I am laughing a lot and listening to it over and over.

[ladyamylynn]

2 hours ago, xRoo said:

Raquel is singing about how "he fucks me so good" on her music instagram. I am laughing a lot and listening to it over and over.

God damn it.

[acheronbeach]

UGH. "Whip" cream.  No, writer Raquel.  The cream has been whipped.  Whipped cream.

She's so embarrassingly undereducated.  

[nastyhobbitses]

On 8/22/2017 at 10:26 PM, xRoo said:

Raquel is singing about how "he fucks me so good" on her music instagram. I am laughing a lot and listening to it over and over.

I'm all for sexually open and liberated women, and I'm all for fundie girls living life on their own terms, but there's something so hilarious about Raquel having all the sanctimony of a fundamentalist, but happily singing about getting some good dick. I'm glad she's doing her thang, but it's still hilarious.

Also, Raquel, honey, bits of advice from one millennial basic girl to another:

Two months of dating Jesse Pinkman and Abraham Lincoln's rapper baby does not qualify you to give relationship advice to others.

Enunciate when you sing. Your voice is very nice, but I could barely understand "fucks me so good".

Please properly care for your puppy, even when it is no longer small and cute and as Instagram-able.

I think it's definitely possible to be religious and sexually liberated and all that, but please consider dropping some of the more unsavory beliefs that don't necessarily apply to you personally (homophobia, preventing women from making their own reproductive choices, that sort of thing) in addition to all the stuff you used to espouse about courtship and modesty. If you have done that, great and I will snark on you a lot less.

Also, will your relationship with Breakingbad Lincoln stop you from being weird with Peruvian boys?

[Lurky]

59 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I think it's definitely possible to be religious and sexually liberated and all that, but please consider dropping some of the more unsavory beliefs that don't necessarily apply to you personally

Preach it!  I'm always slightly in awe of the Fundies who drop the bits of their previous beliefs when it suits them, from the superficial (jeans!) to the serious, but only seem to question the ones that effect them.  

BUT I'd much rather see Raquel doing this, and being her ridiculous self, out in the world, supporting herself, getting some education, making her own decisions about her body, than being a SAHD waiting for Mr Right.  Better a Raquel than a Maxwell, eg!  I just hope she can use this to reconsider the parts of her beliefs that are hateful, and see that, for example, if she feels so good being in love, that LGB people feel the same way, and should have all the same rights and opportunities she does too.

[xRoo]

Oh, completely agree. I just laugh because she spent so much time judging others for cussing and dressing immodestly and for having sex before marriage in the past.

[Lurky]

2 hours ago, xRoo said:

Oh, completely agree. I just laugh because she spent so much time judging others for cussing and dressing immodestly and for having sex before marriage in the past.

Yup!  I do sort of feel sorry for Fundies who, when they were 15-7, would shout about all this stuff, and be smugly holier-than-thou, and then can't win when they're adults and realise they're wrong, because it must feel like they can't win, to a certain extent, because they face criticism if they change their minds, or don't.

BUT!  The way round it is to acknowledge it and say "I was wrong" and "I'm sorry if I hurt you" if appropriate.  I had a huge argument with a schoolfriend, who, at 18, was all "parents who get divorced don't love their kids" which I found super-painful as a divorced kid, as well as just plain wrong (if my parents had stayed together, hating each other, my childhood/teens would have been really shitty).  She came back to me a few years later, to apologise for it, which I really, really appreciated. 

If Racquel was blogging about how she used to be very black-and-white in her thinking, and that she was sorry she was all judgey about other people, especially other girls, I'd respect her a lot more - and as said, if she shed her horrible views about LGBT people etc. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

Did Raquel's FB always say she was single and she never changed it?

[ladyamylynn]

59 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Did Raquel's FB always say she was single and she never changed it?

Interesting, her Instagram captions sound like she might have gotten dumped again.

[formergothardite]

One of her latest blog posts make it seem like that too. 

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I think probably the most difficult part of relationships comes from the way people inevitably change over time.  When you make a commitment, you're not only saying "yes" to the person you have grown to love in the present moment, but you're saying "yes" to continue loving and cherishing the person they will yet become in the future.  Whether you like the changes or not, you're choosing to love them through it all.  And sometimes, you are willing to love them wholly and fully, but they aren't.  And the honest feelings + bad timing becomes very apparent. 

Hasn't her longest relationship been around 6 months? It seems like her break-ups come not because people change over time, but because the guys spend just enough time with her to find out that she isn't emotionally stable. I'm sure in her mind she has created a situation where he broke up with her because he is scared of pure love like she has. 

[JesusCampSongs]

On 9/2/2017 at 9:49 AM, formergothardite said:

One of her latest blog posts make it seem like that too. 

Hasn't her longest relationship been around 6 months? It seems like her break-ups come not because people change over time, but because the guys spend just enough time with her to find out that she isn't emotionally stable. I'm sure in her mind she has created a situation where he broke up with her because he is scared of pure love like she has. 

I think that most relationships go through certain stages (or seasons, if you will), where breakups are most likely to happen. The first one is at about 3-6 months in, where you've mostly figured out basic compatibility and started discussing long-term goals, but are still very much in the honeymoon phase. The second happens at about 18-24 months, when you exit the honeymoon stage, become deeply acquainted will all the annoying shit your significant other does, and start thinking about whether things are really workable long-term. The third one is around 4-5 years, when you take stock and see whether the relationship has gone where you thought it would and if you want to continue down this path for the long haul. 

Most of my serious relationships died during the second breakup stage, but I can see someone like Raquel's imploding much more quickly because she's worked so hard at cultivating this persona that is so out of sync with her actual personality that she's not attracting people with whom she'd actually be compatible. And once the people she dates get a glimpse of what she's really like, they head for the hills. 

[acheronbeach]

I just realized two things:

- "Custie" ordered 24 ounces of sugary drink.  That's revolting.  It's a bucket, not a beverage.  Why would any shop sell this much drink?   I feel vague shame when other people see my Venti plain Starbucks coffee.  

- Raquel is incompetent at formatting dialogue.  Her punctuation is completely fucked - commas and periods are not interchangeable, Writer Raquel.  Ugh.  Basics.

[Curious]

Of course, Raquel would get a pit bull puppy The breed is already maligned and a Raquelesque owner is part of the reason why.

Pit Bulls can be wonderful, sweet dogs with proper training.  They are very head strong and need to have boundaries, limits, consistency, and plenty of exercise.  None of those things exactly scream Raquel to me.

She will likely not bother to do any type of training while it's a puppy and then wonder why she is being drug down the street by a 70+ pound dog.  The dog will probably get too rambunctious with someone at some point and best case will end up in a shelter or rescue and worst case be put down.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think Raquel should own ANY breed of dog (or cat, horse, fish, rock, etc), but a Pittie is probably the absolute worst choice she could make in terms of the potential life of the dog

 

[ladyamylynn]

@Curious

You can rest easy because it's not a pitbull, it's an Old English Bulldog, and it's not hers, it belongs to her (ex?) boyfriend.