Michael and Brandon Keilen- Part 2

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

That's a white t-shirt at what looks like a dressy wedding of a close family member - no need to be a fashion guru to figure out it is NOT appropriate!

Wear a black lace undershirt, or a jacket, or a sweater, or a shawl on top. Or just wear a different dress that has a more "modest" neckline and not a plunging v-neck, thus not requiring a t-shirt under. 

[ModestisHottest]

I totally agree that her outfit look too casual for that wedding (especially when she standing was next to Brandon in his much more formal clothes) but did anyone notice how casual a lot of the guests were at Joy's wedding?  When they panned over the crowd I saw a lot of outfits that looked similar to Michael's!

[MorningMist]

Michael just posted a blog entry about their problems. It's quite a sad read (as one would expect) and is very honest.

 

http://brandonandmichaela.com/2017/06/25/learning-to-trust/

[usmcmom]

18 minutes ago, MorningMist said:

Michael just posted a blog entry about their problems. It's quite a sad read (as one would expect) and is very honest.

 

http://brandonandmichaela.com/2017/06/25/learning-to-trust/

I am so sad for her. What she is going through is something I would not wish on anybody. 

[Kangaroo]

Well that was a sad read. I'm glad to see Michael is realising her life is not defined by her ability to have children. I hope she's able to find something that gives her purpose and fulfilment.

She's still got an enormous group of siblings, nieces, newphews and other children she can love. I feel bad she can't have her own children. She's basically been forced to raise her siblings and has never been taught anything except motherhood is her purpose. 

Infertility is not something I'd wish upon anyone, but I hope she is able to grow and expand her outlook on life in a positive way.

 

[SuhrEnity]

The rawness of that post made me very sad. I hope her siblings are thoughtful of her feelings when they announce their pregnancies. I feel quite sad for her. No one should have to experience the pain of infertility 

[marmalade]

Still no mention of getting Brandon tested. Poor girl believes that this is all her fault, while it may not be.

[infooverload]

Well, the question of have they sought medical help was answered. I wonder if the suggested treatments may go against their faith. The honesty of her saying she questioned her faith was surprising, since fundies don't seem to openly admit questioning. As other mentioned I'm glad she is finding ways to give her life meaning outside motherhood. They are one couple I really wonder if they will adopt despite Gothard ' s teachings.

[VaSportsMom]

Still no mention of getting Brandon tested. Poor girl believes that this is all her fault, while it may not be. [emoji20]

I don't get that impression. She says "we were seen" and "with each new test my heart broke", I read that as they got answers.

[marmalade]

It was rather vague to me. Fundie couples often use "we" when referring to just one partner. 

Hopefully, they can resolve whatever the issue(s) is/are. I hate that more babies will be raised in the cult, but I feel for Michael's struggle leading to a crisis in faith. 

[Palindrome]

I dislike their belief system incredibly, but I will say I have a great respect for Michael for writing that post. I don't doubt the strength it would have taken. Poor girl. And poor Brandon, too. 

[CharlieInCharge]

I was quite surprised to read this, I had not expected her to address this topic so directly. I just felt so bad for her reading it and I hope she really is finding some comfort in her faith. (I say that as an atheist) I would not wish this pain on anyone. I hope they get one miracle child that they will so love and adore they can't bear to hurt them in any way. 

[just_ordinary]

I feel torn on this. One the one hand I am relieved that no baby/child will be brought up by them in their cult on the other hand I feel deeply sorry for them as they suffer. I hope they find a way to deal with the situation and can be happy again.

I liked that they don't seem to blame themselves anymore!

[season of life]

It was very honest. She admitted she was losing her trust in God and how hard it was for her to see other people having kids. Michael really wants to be a mother. I hope she gets peace. Infertility sounds so painful.

[hasunah]

11 hours ago, infooverload said:

 I wonder if the suggested treatments may go against their faith.

I was thinking about that as well . Erin had trouble staying pregnant , not getting pregnant , and they sought treatment . If Michael and Brandon both have medical issues preventing conception  they still could try  IVF and ICSI  . So maybe it's ok for them to save a life (the already conceived embryo  because  life begins at conception) but it would be playing god to create a life in a petri dish (sorry to be so blunt) .

[JMO]

I feel for her. I've been on the merry go round of fertility testing and trying to conceive but feeling like I'm failing. It's incredibly painful and I have a career to distract me and don't want a giant family. I think it's incredibly brave of her to write that blog and I hope it shuts up the people continually asking if she's pregnant.  I don't want to wish children into their cult but I do know she'd be a loving and involved mother.  Especially if she only had a couple of children.  I wish her peace.  

[Kangaroo]

8 hours ago, hasunah said:

I was thinking about that as well . Erin had trouble staying pregnant , not getting pregnant , and they sought treatment . If Michael and Brandon both have medical issues preventing conception  they still could try  IVF and ICSI  . So maybe it's ok for them to save a life (the already conceived embryo  because  life begins at conception) but it would be playing god to create a life in a petri dish (sorry to be so blunt) .

I think the other thing that has been discussed is that they see a child being a giftabd reward from god. Going against his will and seeking fertility treatments to convince is going against his wish for you. On top of this with the belief that life begins at conception, it means processes where sperm or eggs that are destroyed or not used is taking a life.

It's a loose-loose situation for Michael. She can do everything "right" her whole life. She always did what she was told. She always put everyone before herself. She waited for the right man and did everything that God and IBLP demaned of her. And because she did everything right, God would bless her with children of her own.

After trying probably since the day she married, it eventuates she can't have a child. There might be a solution to that through procedures like IVF, but their beliefs mean she is defying God's wishes to fulfil her own desires. Throw into this the clotting disorder that Erin has, even if she did have her miracle conception, that child could be miscarried before she even has a chance to tell anyone.

No wonder she's had a crisis of faith. 

I'm all for the one less child born into the cult is a good thing, but for me personally it borders on almost being cruel.

[Jane M.]

Poor Michael. I wish I could give her a hug. 

[freejoy]

Very honest blog post!

She actually wrote a lot of facts which we discussed here and which I thought none of the Bates would ever talk about, eg. seeing everyone get pregnant around her and admitting it's hard for her.

I think this is probably the most honest thing I've read/heard coming from the fundie world. But this blog post really showed me that at the end of the day fundies are "only" humans and not everything in their world is glamourous as like they want to make us believe.

I wish her good luck and a lot of strenght because the one thing she always wanted is apparently not happening for her.

[VineHeart137]

As someone who always dreamed about becoming a mom, I truly feel for Michael. I cannot imagine the pain people who have gone through infertility must experience. And Michael, well, she has had a lot of patience and did everything "right" according to what she was taught- waited for the right guy to finally notice her, waited through a longer courtship period than her siblings for a proposal- and now this. I admire her honesty on that blog post. I imagine being far away from the support of her family makes things even harder.

[meee]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I feel torn on this. One the one hand I am relieved that no baby/child will be brought up by them in their cult on the other hand I feel deeply sorry for them as they suffer. I hope they find a way to deal with the situation and can be happy again.

I liked that they don't seem to blame themselves anymore!

No baby? Did I miss her saying she's giving up or they have an untreatable problem?

Poor Michael  I so hope she gets her miracle baby.

[klabourdeth]

I wonder with this blog post if they are going to be addressing it more in the next episode or so.

[JesSky03]

That blog post was very raw and brave for her to do. It would be amazing if one day she felt comfortable enough to talk about the details of their testing and use her "celebrity" status to help educate others. But I know from experience how hard it is to be that open. 

I hope whatever they are dealing with could be fixed with treatment. Money could be an issue - they aren't exactly rolling in the dough like the duggars. Our last IUI cycle cost roughly $1500 out of pocket. Most insurance companies do not cover infertility and if they do there are often restrictions. IVF averages about $12,000 plus another $3-5000 for meds. And I could understand if they are not comfortable with IVF. I personally am not sure I would be comfortable with it and I'm not in a shitty religious cult. I just hope they haven't declined any or all treatment just because it's not "leaving it up to god".

[SassyPants]

I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of a rigidly religious woman whose sole purpose in life was to marry and raise a household of warriors for my savior, and who now finds myself infertile.

How does MK wrap her mind and faith around that reality?

Does she accept and move on to other life fulfilling endeavors?

Is she to accept that being a sister mom to her parent's brood WAS the best that she was going to be offered in her life?

Is she a real adult, married woman?

Is she inferior?

All of us who did not grow up in that atmosphere would probably feel much differently about this than MK. MOTHERHOOD was given as her only reason for being on the planet. How could her heavenly father have done this to her??

This is beyond cruel.

[Mela99]

My heart broke reading that. I have never pretended to like a single fundie person, but as an infertile woman, this is devastating and way too real for me. Michaela does not deserve this and I sorely hope she is getting the support she deserves. I hope it was her choice to share it and for the love of god - UPTV and Gil/Kelly -- DON'T CAPITALIZE ON HER GRIEF.