BOOK REVIEW: "The Power of a Transformed Wife"

[Koala]

27 minutes ago, Granwych said:

Where does it say in the bible anything about vacations?  One "day of rest" does not a vacation make.

Clearly you didn't read the commandment for the Alexanders to spend several weeks in Door County every summer.  God prescribed it.  True facts.

[Lurky]

1 hour ago, Granwych said:

Where does it say in the bible anything about vacations?  One "day of rest" does not a vacation make.

Plus I may be a heathen atheist, but I'm pretty sure that verse doesn't say  "And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made, and had sex with his wife in the same room as all their children".  But of course, I'm not an expert...

[feministxtian]

I do not understand the fundie fascination with sex. I mean, why do they talk about it all the time...yet claim that's what us heathens do. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with anyone (including Mr. Xtian) about sex. We're married, it's a safe bet we have sex. I don't need to talk about it, I don't need to tell people when, where or how often we have sex. That's nobody's business but ours. These people...have some serious hangups.

[quiversR4hunting]

5 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I do not understand the fundie fascination with sex. I mean, why do they talk about it all the time...yet claim that's what us heathens do. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with anyone (including Mr. Xtian) about sex. We're married, it's a safe bet we have sex. I don't need to talk about it, I don't need to tell people when, where or how often we have sex. That's nobody's business but ours. These people...have some serious hangups.

I have one friend that talks about sex but it's never the act of sex but the funny things that happen. Like the dog coming in and licking feet or getting caught by a kid and telling a lie about what they were done, etc. So besides the one friend (which the stories are funny!) We all assume we have sex since we are all on relationships. 

[quiversR4hunting]

My book will come Tuesday, I'm so glad my husband is going out of town on Wednesday so he doesn't see me reading it. I think this might be the first book I burn after reading.

Oh wait, 2nd book. I burned "Love and Respect". My husband and I both started to listen to it on the cd that came with it, we both lasted 20 minutes before we started arguing with the cd. 

[desertvixen]

2 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

My book will come Tuesday, I'm so glad my husband is going out of town on Wednesday so he doesn't see me reading it. I think this might be the first book I burn after reading.

I have to do my reading for my godless history class first, in which we're studying the concept that maybe white Christian men aren't the only people in the world who did anything.... then this book is ON.

[Granwych]

I admire the intestinal fortitude of you FJers who have undertaken the chore of reading Lori's admonitions.  I'd rather scrub the toilet.

[quiversR4hunting]

4 hours ago, Granwych said:

I admire the intestinal fortitude of you FJers who have undertaken the chore of reading Lori's admonitions.  I'd rather scrub the toilet.

When I say "read" I will most likely be doing quick read/scanning because I don't want my head to explode.

I am also trying to not swear as much....I don't think this book will help that goal!

[Koala]

Having successfully (and repeatedly) trashed Jesus Calling, Lori is now weighing in on The Five Love Languages.  I could have sworn she said a Christian would never engage in this type of behavior, but lo and behold, here she is.  Again.

It amazes me that she doesn't seem to realize how transparent she is.  Since writing her own book, she has made it her mission to warn the world of other Christian writers & bloggers.  Kind of like how she would go over to other blogs and argue with the authors (Shelia), but would delete any comments that tried to argue with her on her own blog.

If you don't like her book you are a "troll" who is "maligning and attacking" the Lord himself, but if you're Lori, you can trash other authors all day long.

Lori:

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 Almost every single popular self-improvement, devotional, or marriage book of our day is not worth spending time on unless it is biblical. If something is very popular, it’s wise to proceed carefully and measure it with what the Word says. Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it is good. 

Says the woman with scads of negative Amazon reviews, and only 3 verified purchases.

In other news, how have I not read the "about the author"?  Oh my god, they just went straight into defense mode, didn't they?  This line is particularly odd, though:

Quote

Lori and Ken have always lived together in a very normal Christian family and marriage.

What the hell does that even mean?

[FundieFarmer]

We heard a sermon in church yesterday about how apostles are individuals sent from a ruler, ordained to speak by and for them. To disagree with an apostle is to reject the ruler himself. To be an apostle of Jesus, there were qualifying points. 

I immediately thought of Lori, who certainly believes that disagreeing with her is a disagreement with the Lord himself. She seems to put herself on the same level as an apostle. 

Negatory, ghostrider. 

 

[usmcmom]

CHAPTER SIX: Easy Conflict Resolution

This chapter is fairly easy to summarize.  It begins on page 55 and ends on page 65.  Pages 58-65 are devoted to Ken's response to Sheila.  I hope Lori's next book is How to Write a Book Without Really Writing a Book.

Her first word of advice is simply "Don't argue," and then she laments that churches don't teach this AT ALL.  Then she contradicts herself and reminds us that there are admonitions not to quarrel, argue or be in conflict with one another.  Apparently, the churches she's attended have NEVER taught one of these verses.  NOT ONE.  If a minister is not saying, on a weekly basis, "Don't argue," then churches are not teaching this important rule. 

She reminds us again that she and Ken argued all the time through the first 23 years of their marriage. They even argued after sex.   Their poor kids. I wonder what kind of chaos they actually grew up in. Ken and Lori might say they never argued in front of the kids, but the constant arguing she describes would be hard to hide from them. 

After reading Debi Pearl's book, she learned she must not argue with her husband.  Interestingly, Lori continuously calls this period of her life "becoming a Transformed Wife," and yes she capitalizes the term. She does not seem to use the phrase "when I learned to submit."  She's trying to soften this book so it will be more appealing, in my opinion; which completely negates her assertion that she is willing to "teach the hard stuff."

One day Lori went to Ken and said she would never argue with him again.  He smiled and said "Can I hold you to that?" They shook hands on the agreement.  The following paragraph really disturbs me:

"From the moment of our handshake, our marriage began to improve dramatically.  Ken gave me plenty of room to make my point, but when the discussion went into arguing he would say with a smile 'It seems like you're arguing.'"

I really seems like he was provoking her on purpose.  She had come to him with a sincere offer to make their marriage peaceful and, instead of doing his part to reach that goal, he appears to have picked fights just to prove that she'd argue. 

She admits that she still argues sometimes but it is rare.  She also tells us that until we become a Transformed Wife, we will naturally want our way and argue because we love to win. 

I personally don't know of any women who pick fights with their husbands or always insist on their having their own way.  Her black and white thinking, her belief that all things fall in one of two extreme categories, are very evident in this book. 

She tells us that arguing is ugly and never accomplishes anything. She also admonishes us to "strive to be at peace with all men and women and watch your words.  If you stray into "shrew" territory, apologize quickly.  I expect the updated version of Transformed Wife to have the words "....unless you are answering Amazon reviews," added to this paragraph. 

She ends the chapter with the wall-o-text from Ken, in which he has gone to Sheila's blog to pick a fight. She tells us this is his response to a woman who writes a blog but then she also writes "I thought it would be instructive to let you hear what Ken has to say on a topic he deals with daily in his consulting work." 

I'm sure you all can search Sheila's blog for Ken's relevant message delivered via his Horse of Truth. 

 

[desertvixen]

11 hours ago, usmcmom said:

One day Lori went to Ken and said she would never argue with him again.  He smiled and said "Can I hold you to that?" They shook hands on the agreement.  The following paragraph really disturbs me:

"From the moment of our handshake, our marriage began to improve dramatically.  Ken gave me plenty of room to make my point, but when the discussion went into arguing he would say with a smile 'It seems like you're arguing.'"

I really seems like he was provoking her on purpose.  She had come to him with a sincere offer to make their marriage peaceful and, instead of doing his part to reach that goal, he appears to have picked fights just to prove that she'd argue.

I was reading this today and it bothered me as well.

[lawfulevil]

I read "they even argued after sex" and was momentarily impressed because arguing in your sleep is difficult.

No, no, I've mentally caught up now, don't worry.

[quiversR4hunting]

My book came last night. I am so glad it was snuggled in the Amazon box with two Linda Castillo books (protagonist is Chief Police Kate Burkholder, former Amish turned cop that isn't religious any longer, has wild sex out of wedlock, seen lots of stuff nobody should see, etc.).

At lunch I was stopped before starting the sex talk which is in chapter 7 page 81. I don't read word for, I scan read when I read books like this (I do this to all self-help books and textbooks, etc). When I get to a part that really catches my attention, I read that section.

So, first she likes to define words. She is OBSESSED with feminism (already knew that from the blog). Her writing level is low. (I was a business major, not English so when I notice books being too simplistic....well that is bad). She is a squirrel. She starts with a subject and then the next paragraph is out of left field with no tie in. I don't think she really knows what colitis is and when her and the kids were "filled with parasites", I bet it was/is a form of colitis. She keeps saying her mom was bleeding in the intestines and then her colon completely healed. Again- business major here- but the intestines and colon are 2 different organs. Connected, yes but you can have problems in one and not the other.

Sample of her writing in the book. (pg 41)

Quote

 I was raised as a health nut. When I was five years old, my mom developed colitis, which is bleeding of the intestines. The doctors told her the disease was incurable and she would need to take drugs and only eat white bread and white rice for the rest of her life. Even though Mom had been raised by a mother who believed that doctors, drugs and demons were synonymous, she first tried the drug route, since my dad was a doctor and prescriptive drugs seemed to be the answer to every health problem.

Need to run to a meeting. I will try to read and write more later.

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Even though Mom had been raised by a mother who believed that doctors, drugs and demons were synonymous, she first tried the drug route, since my dad was a doctor and prescriptive drugs seemed to be the answer to every health problem.

Yet Mom married the doctor anyway.  OOoooookay, Lori just gets more contradictory in nearly every subject she slides into.

[Koala]

The real irony, is that when Lori needs medical care, she actually gets it.  When she had the brain tumor, she had a cyber knife procedure.  For those who might not know, cyber knife isn't something that's sold online by some quack who's peddling diy cures.  Nope, it's a real, legitimate medical procedure, that's performed in an actual medical facility, by an actual physician.  

That's all great and wonderful until you realize Lori tries to convince her readers they can cure their cancer with-------juice.  Yes, juice.  Maybe a few extra veggies for good measure.    

The other irony, is that Lori claims to have all of the secrets to health, yet she has been sick pretty much her entire adult life.  
 

[quiversR4hunting]

@Koala right after the paragraph I quoted she talks about how the meds didn't work for her mom and then her mom ONLY drank water for 21 days (no food). I call bullshit. 

[Koala]

For those of you who have recently jointed us here at Free Jinger because:

1) Lori wrote a ridiculous book

2) Lori totally went viral!  
 

Here are some of Dr. Lori's thoughts on cancer, colitis, and medicine:

Quote

A study proved that smokers who ate a lot of raw foods have clear lungs. A doctor told a patient who had cancer that eating a lot of raw foods has the same power to heal as radiation does without the side effects.

Quote

God must know what He is doing. He is the one who created raw food.

Quote

 Many diseases have been cured by living on a lot of raw foods. 

Referring to her mom's colitis:

Quote

My mom always fed us a lot of fruits and vegetables way before it was in style. She drove 1/2 hour each way to an organic store to get cases of apples, oranges, and vegetables. She knew the power of raw foods way back then. It cured her of her colitis which  doctors still say there is no cure. Drugs and surgery can't cure colitis, but raw foods can cure it.

And just for good measure, Lori confirms the story about forcing her daughter to sit at the table for hours at night:

Quote

My children weren't allowed to be picky eaters. One of my daughters would literally sit at the table every night for hours until she ate her salad. Now at 22 years old, she has a huge salad every day because she loves it. My children would have starved to death if they didn't like healthy food!

Of course 2 of Lori's kids ended up with disordered thinking about food/body image, but that's totally okay, because Lori won!  She's definitely qualified to be advising other moms!  Anorexia shmanorexia!  Big deal!  *gag* 

The above comments can be found in this post:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/01/power-of-raw-food.html

Moving on.  @quiversR4hunting  21 days, huh?  In this post she went a little further:

Quote

My mom had colitis when I was a little girl. The doctors told her there was no cure. They gave her drugs and told her to only eat white bread and white rice with no fiber. She tried it awhile and it didn't help at all. She read of a health retreat in Escondido, CA and went there to try to get well. She lived on only water for 40 days to give her colon a rest. Then they gave her organic fruit and vegetable juices. Soon after that, they gave her organic salads and fruits.

Quote

How come researchers aren't knocking at my mom's door asking her how she cured her colitis so doctors can begin telling others that they can indeed cure their colitis? 

That's right, Lori is unsure why researchers aren't asking her mom how to cure colitis.  Let that sink in for a moment.

Quote

The doctor who ran the retreat place my mom had attended had cured himself of pancreatic cancer by living on all raw juices.

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There is no cure in a doctor's mind if they can't cure it with surgery, radiation and drugs. 

Wait a minute.  Didn't she just get done saying that her mother's DOCTOR juiced his cancer away?

Quote

People have been healed from allergies, asthma, cancers, high blood pressure, etc. by changing their diet and lifestyle.

Quote

Remember, doctors are only practicing medicine. They don't have all the answers.

Of course they don't have all the answers!  They haven't talked to Lori's mom yet.  

Quote

Did you know chemotherapy helps less than 1% of those who take it but have many horrible side effects.

A reader called her on that, so she had to clean it up:

Quote

I was referring to pancreatic cancer. Chemo doesn't work for this type of cancer.

Lori is asked to cite the source of her information (by her aunt...who is awesome!)
Lori replied:

Quote

Dr. William Kelley cured himself of pancreatic cancer. You can find it in many places over the Internet.

That's right.  Her source?  The net!

In summary:

When Lori has a brain tumor she opts for Cyber Knife.  When her readers get sick, she advises raw food and juicing.  Because medicine is just "taking the easy way out":

Quote

Yes, there is a place for drugs but too many people want to take the easy way out, supposedly, and take a pill instead of giving up a lot of their way of life to be healed. 

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/01/what-if-doctors-say-there-is-no-cure.html

[jerkit]

I have IBS but it's well controlled by eating only well-cooked foods and not raw vegetables or fruits

so uhh, sorry Lori?

[quiversR4hunting]

I'm indulging while reading tonight (I have to dunk the cookies so I couldn't read and dunk) 

Spoiler

 

[Koala]

A big ol' Oreo cookie right next to Lori's salad eating face.  Love it.  Have a few more for her! 

[desertvixen]

I plan to finish reading the book tomorrow - any objection if I hop into the thread with my review. 

It's...uh...interesting.  At least they did a nice job of designing the look of the book.

[quiversR4hunting]

@Koala hard to admit but I had a total of 9 double stuff oreo's tonight. Yikes!

I made it through sex, winning without a word (which had a lot of words), training up children, birth controlls and the dating scene. I'm stopping before I start keepers at home (chapter 12).

Main themes, guys like sex. A women's nagging is a horrible, horrible sin and just as bad a a husband having 7 affairs. Have him get an STD test and take him back (I thought Lori tells all the little women not to tell the big burly men what to do.) Women are doormats, men are always right and if women become a step ford wife their man will love them more. And I would never want to be Lori's "friend" she quotes these people and tells their story and no disclaimer that names have been changed!!

I need to take a break and watch Code Black or read the Castillo book. Less evil in both entertainment.

Lori is a monster. 

5 minutes ago, desertvixen said:

I plan to finish reading the book tomorrow - any objection if I hop into the thread with my review. 

It's...uh...interesting.  At least they did a nice job of designing the look of the book.

BEC here, I hate the feel of the outside cover. It's a weird feel. Maybe it is just my copy. I am very tactile, I quilt (always touching fabric, if it doesn't feel good, I don't buy it) and have sensitive skin so I always notice how things feel.

The art is pretty. 

I am reading it and look forward to everyone's review! I love it when @Koala steps in and links her blog to where she contradicts herself. Cheers and a round of shots to everyone reading Lori's "teaching"

[alba]

WTF does Lori mean by saying doctors are "only practising medicine, they don't have all the answers"? That statement sounds really sarcastic, and not in a way that supports her point. Yes, we do expect doctors to have answers, because they're the ones practising medicine.

Oh, I just realised she's probably not familiar with that definition of "practising" and interprets it to mean doctors are practising like a student practises the piano.

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

2 hours ago, alba said:

WTF does Lori mean by saying doctors are "only practising medicine, they don't have all the answers"? That statement sounds really sarcastic, and not in a way that supports her point. Yes, we do expect doctors to have answers, because they're the ones practising medicine.

Oh, I just realised she's probably not familiar with that definition of "practising" and interprets it to mean doctors are practising like a student practises the piano.

 

Hahahaha. Oh my goodness that's hilarious. That reminds me of when creationists attack evolution by saying "it's only a THEORY, it's called the THEORY of evolution!" without realising what theory means in a scientific context (like how gravity is a theory). This is funnier though.