Jinger and the Jock- I only wanna be with you!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 9/21/2016 at 5:01 PM, SassyPants said:

Unless Jeremy's family is footing the bill, I can not see the Duggars hosting a reception beyond the usual cake and watered down, powdered ade drink/ ice cream and sweet tea affair. IMO, unless the couple (or someone other than the girl's parents)  is paying for the reception, all kids in a family should get the same type of reception or monetary outlay. Why should 1 person get $$$$$$ and another get $? 

Now if J/J only had their parents and sibs and no other guests, vs the near 1000 that the other couples had, I could see a more extravagant affair and that would be nice. BUT, the chances of that happening is slim to none, again just IMO.

But if J&J have only 100 people or less they could have a more formal wedding with sit down dinner for the same cost of cheap ass punch and ice cream in the parking lot for over 1000.  I agree that each kid should get the same $ for their weddings. My sisters wedding was quite a bit less expensive than mine I married in 96 she marred in 2011. But she only had about 100 people at her wedding where I had over 200. Hubby and I both come from very large families so that made up the difference 

[feministxtian]

I still think the way Mr. xtian and I did it is the best way...we got up in the morning, went to city hall for the license, went to the JOP's place and got hitched...and went out for lunch. We went home, had our first "legal" bop and then I went to work at 4. I couldn't get the night off...Friday night at a pizza joint and I was the head honcho. Company requirement...head honcho had to work Fri/Sat night...and it was the night before halloween...so...

This October we'll celebrate 18 years. 

[BabyBottlePop]

I know they know a lot of larger families but it still boggles me how the Duggars have had weddings with 1000+ people. I feel like if I had 1000+ plus people at my wedding it would be like having almost every person I've ever met there. At least it feels that way to me! 

[VixenToast]

Perhaps having a 1000+ guest list makes you look more prestigious, blessed, successful, important, fill-in-the-blank ego booster.  

Personally, I'd much rather have 1000 people at my funeral than my wedding, but hey I'm a weird one.

[Mela99]

So have the Vuolo parents met the Duggar dippity-duo yet? 

[MoonFace]

On September 13, 2016 at 5:59 PM, Mela99 said:

If you're thrift store shopping and it gets expensive, you're doing it wrong....That's the point.

JB has a lot of nerve though. Ben can scrub toilets and live in the garage, but Jeremy is college educated, on his second career, and self supporting, and HE has to get a second job? How about don't spend what you don't have? 

Unbelievable ass, man. Not "I'm worried she won't eat/have a bed/you guys will struggle" but "Gee golly she loves to shop! And she's gonna need something to do while she's producing more grandchildren for me!"

The thinking is probably along the lines of 

TLC will be in Arkansas, mostly, so if you move near me not only will I have more control of you and my daughter but we can "earn" more TLC $$$ because you can be filmed more.   

Why do you think Jillick moved back?   We were losing $$$$ with them in CA!   

[JillyO]

9 hours ago, BabyBottlePop said:

I know they know a lot of larger families but it still boggles me how the Duggars have had weddings with 1000+ people. I feel like if I had 1000+ plus people at my wedding it would be like having almost every person I've ever met there. At least it feels that way to me! 

I'm pretty sure that EXACTLY how it is. Ben even admitted this during wedding planning. He said something like "I'm inviting everyone I've met" or something very similar. They always pretend their weddings have to be this big because, oh my, our friends' families are all so big. But realistically speaking, how many friends do they really have? The Bateses, the Queries, the Dominguezes, maybe the other in-laws' families and then a couple families from the non-Duggar bride/groom's side. They could totally get away with inviting maybe 200 people if they didn't invite every fucking person they've ever met in Big Sandy, at WalMart or at the damn petting zoo.

[nst]

9 hours ago, MoonFace said:

The thinking is probably along the lines of 

TLC will be in Arkansas, mostly, so if you move near me not only will I have more control of you and my daughter but we can "earn" more TLC $$$ because you can be filmed more.   

Why do you think Jillick moved back?   We were losing $$$$ with them in CA!   

plus the fact a show was briefly named after her and she was on maybe 5% - so there is that

4 hours ago, JillyO said:

I'm pretty sure that EXACTLY how it is. Ben even admitted this during wedding planning. He said something like "I'm inviting everyone I've met" or something very similar. They always pretend their weddings have to be this big because, oh my, our friends' families are all so big. But realistically speaking, how many friends do they really have? The Bateses, the Queries, the Dominguezes, maybe the other in-laws' families and then a couple families from the non-Duggar bride/groom's side. They could totally get away with inviting maybe 200 people if they didn't invite every fucking person they've ever met in Big Sandy, at WalMart or at the damn petting zoo.

it has to do with image for them maybe.   And for a damn tv show. 

[Mela99]

6 hours ago, JillyO said:

I'm pretty sure that EXACTLY how it is. Ben even admitted this during wedding planning. He said something like "I'm inviting everyone I've met" or something very similar. They always pretend their weddings have to be this big because, oh my, our friends' families are all so big. But realistically speaking, how many friends do they really have? The Bateses, the Queries, the Dominguezes, maybe the other in-laws' families and then a couple families from the non-Duggar bride/groom's side. They could totally get away with inviting maybe 200 people if they didn't invite every fucking person they've ever met in Big Sandy, at WalMart or at the damn petting zoo.

Sure they could get away with that but then they WOULDN'T GET A GIFT FROM ALL THOSE RANDOMS!! I mean really, why else would you invite every Joe Blow you met? GIFTS. 

[Cassia]

 Late to the party but I've been watching bits and pieces of the "Meet the Parents" on youtube. JB is really a piece of work.

While touring Jeremy's apartment, he barges into the master closet (uninvited) and declares that it smells like 'dirty shoes'.

Then he says, "Well this is very cozy. For a single guy, this is perfect." Jeremy quickly retorts with, "For a young family starting off, this is perfect." 

I get the impression that JinJer aren't going to be spending every possible moment with the Duggars. I don't understand JB. Jeremy completely won over Jinger but instead of trying to bond with the new man in her life, JB insults him with almost every word out of his mouth - like when JinJer and their parents are out to eat and JB tells Jeremy to get a second job, literally rendering him speechless.

I can't imagine having someone like that for a father-in-law. JB asked Jeremy if he had considered moving to Arkansas. Shortly after he says, "I just don't think they're (JinJer) ready to swap spit yet."

What a crude, inconsiderate jerk. I couldn't figure out why Jeremy was getting involved with the Duggars with the knowledge that he has of JB. But then I remembered - he's not Ben. JinJer are not going to be living 10 minutes down the road from the fam, being supported by JB. They're not going to be scrubbing his gd toilets. I think JB has lost Jinger to a MAN (much different than 17 year old Ben) who isn't intimidated by him. I think things are looking bright for this couple and I have hope for these two. I'm happy that they'll be almost 12 hours (by car) away.

 

 

[NewSeasonOfLife]

Honestly, I have never gotten the uproar here over their weddings, at least as far as size and the food are concerned. I grew up pretty close to where the Duggars are and my family was fundie-light growing up. I never went to a wedding with a sit-down dinner or alcohol until I was 17 and my heathen cousin got married in Florida. The food was always exactly what the Duggars do - two cakes, weird punch with sherbert in it, mints and sometimes finger sandwiches. There was never dancing. And there were always a ton of people at the weddings. My mama was a home-ec teacher and most of her students seemed to invite her to their weddings, which tells you a little about how extensive their guest lists were. And there were almost always 6+ bridesmaids. My sister had 8. I think in a lot of ways this is just how Southern weddings are, at least for the first marriage.

[Cassia]

I couldn’t put my finger on it before, what was ‘off’ about the whole thing. But it’s how JB is treating Jinger and Jeremy as if they’re children, like a couple of 12 year olds. I’m sure that Jeremy, at 28, isn’t used to being talked down to like a child anymore, being interrogated, and belittled. I imagine it’s also a little disconcerting to see your future father-in-law treating your soon to be wife as though she can’t make this decision on her own.

These courtship rules are one thing when it’s between two virginal 20 year olds (Josh/Anna). It’s a whole different story when it’s presented between a 22 and 28 year old. It looks so ridiculous. It’s SO RIDICULOUS for Jeremy to have to explain on national television why it’s ok for him to put his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders.

[Kira]

7 hours ago, JillyO said:

I'm pretty sure that EXACTLY how it is. Ben even admitted this during wedding planning. He said something like "I'm inviting everyone I've met" or something very similar. They always pretend their weddings have to be this big because, oh my, our friends' families are all so big. But realistically speaking, how many friends do they really have? The Bateses, the Queries, the Dominguezes, maybe the other in-laws' families and then a couple families from the non-Duggar bride/groom's side. They could totally get away with inviting maybe 200 people if they didn't invite every fucking person they've ever met in Big Sandy, at WalMart or at the damn petting zoo.

I think the problem is/was that JB was inviting people like Kirk Cameron. I think the Duggars(and the bride/groom) could easily invite 500+ family and friends. The families you mentioned plus the Paines, Whites, Pattons, Wissmanns, church friends, etc. There is no way they could have only 200 guest 

Also, I don't think TLC will air Jinger and Jeremy's wedding this season or before the end of 2016.  We have to sit through episodes about wedding planning before the actual wedding is shown. I do think People magazine will gave some photos on the day of the wedding(maybe one with just the bride and groom).  Jinger could be pregnant by then. That''s the way reality tv works. We know all the important details about the stars lives before it airs on tv. 

[Audrey2]

1 hour ago, Cassia said:

 

Then he says, "Well this is very cozy. For a single guy, this is perfect." Jeremy quickly retorts with, "For a young family starting off, this is perfect." 

<Snip>

 

 

I think Jim Bob is forgetting his pre- TLC time, as a lot of upwardly mobile people do. Jim Bob shoehorned his large family into a small house until he could afford (with help) to build the sprawling TTH. I've seen several people who grew up in more humble conditions get very judgmental of others who live in similar conditions, even if the judgemental one still did when they were the other's age. I know we always want to do better and want better for our loved ones, but we shouldn't expect them to have the same standard of living immediately that it took us 30 years to attain.

[devoutjedi]

My wedding was 300+ people. It was on the smaller side for our culture. My friends have had 500-1000 person weddings. Weddings are about the community and the family just as much as the bride and groom. I don't necessarily agree with that, but that's what we had. I also had 9 bridesmaids (6 16-year-old cousins, what are you going to do? Can't just have a couple of them and neglect the others...) and my husband had 10 groomsmen. 

[WhoompThereItIs]

45 minutes ago, devoutjedi said:

My wedding was 300+ people. It was on the smaller side for our culture. My friends have had 500-1000 person weddings. Weddings are about the community and the family just as much as the bride and groom. I don't necessarily agree with that, but that's what we had. I also had 9 bridesmaids (6 16-year-old cousins, what are you going to do? Can't just have a couple of them and neglect the others...) and my husband had 10 groomsmen. 

My friend was in a similar situation. Her solution was to not have any family in the wedding party. Only friends from high school and college. 

[Four is Enough]

I have 21 cousins, 12 of whom are female. None of them stood up with me at my wedding. First time? Sister and SIL and best friend. About 70 guests. Second? Sister. Second wedding we only had 32 guests. So nice, just the people we wanted.

[O Latin]

I know I'm in the minority here, but I would much rather be invited to a rootbeer floats in the parking lot reception than a sit down dinner with dancing that went on for hours and hours. That just sounds exhausting to me (to attend as a guest, never mind for the people who are in the wedding and have to spend even more time getting ready, taking pictures, etc.). I'd probably be falling asleep in my chair by the time dinner was half over. Granted, I haven't actually been to a wedding since I was nine years old, so I don't know if it's frowned upon at these types of receptions to leave early or not, maybe the guests are free to go home if they start getting tired, but it's just mind-boggling to me that anyone has the stamina for a reception lasting longer than an hour or two. To each their own, I guess.  

[nausicaa]

10 hours ago, NewSeasonOfLife said:

Honestly, I have never gotten the uproar here over their weddings, at least as far as size and the food are concerned. I grew up pretty close to where the Duggars are and my family was fundie-light growing up. I never went to a wedding with a sit-down dinner or alcohol until I was 17 and my heathen cousin got married in Florida. The food was always exactly what the Duggars do - two cakes, weird punch with sherbert in it, mints and sometimes finger sandwiches. There was never dancing. And there were always a ton of people at the weddings. My mama was a home-ec teacher and most of her students seemed to invite her to their weddings, which tells you a little about how extensive their guest lists were. And there were almost always 6+ bridesmaids. My sister had 8. I think in a lot of ways this is just how Southern weddings are, at least for the first marriage.

I'm not trying to start up wedding wars again  (I swear) but I don't know if it's fair to say this is just how Southern weddings are. I've been to plenty of Southern weddings with formal receptions and sit down dinners. None were in Arkansas though, so it may be a regional thing on a smaller scale.

13 minutes ago, O Latin said:

I haven't actually been to a wedding since I was nine years old, so I don't know if it's frowned upon at these types of receptions to leave early or not, maybe the guests are free to go home if they start getting tired, but it's just mind-boggling to me that anyone has the stamina for a reception lasting longer than an hour or two. To each their own, I guess.  

Typical etiquette states you should stay at least until the cake is cut and then you are free to leave. It's typically about two hours at a formal reception until the cake is cut, but it varies obviously. And the dancing usually picks up after the cake cutting, so if that's not your thing you can head out. Before that is toasts, dinner, and first dances, so you're sitting most of the time at least. 

[Four is Enough]

I think there's a place for the cake, punch, mints reception anywhere you go. It's not mandatory to have a big blow out just because Brides Magazine says you should.

However, when my sister had a cake punch mints reception, she only invited as many people as would fit into my parents' house ! She didn't expect them to stand in a parking lot in november!

Ditto my SIL! She held it at a friend's home, and only about two dozen people were invited!

My beef with the mega weddings is that at some point the word "community" goes out the window, and the word "cattle call" comes into view.

[Kittikatz]

I'd just like to go on record as saying that I have never been invited to a shower or wedding that I would describe as fun. Each and every one of them has been different in tradition, venue and scope, but each, in some way, shape or form has somehow managed to suck monkey nuts. 

But seriously, nobody cares about my wedding induced misery except for me, and that's the way it should be. I'm not the one getting married, and I'm not an innocent bystander - I'm someone who knew the parameters of the event ahead of time and chose to attend anyway. The only people whose opinions on the nuptials and surrounding celebration that matter are the couple getting married. Everyone else can just hit the bar (or pre/post medicate however they see fit), shut up and smile. And when the bride inevitability starts prattling about how wonderful it all is and how everyone is having a great time, agree wholeheartedly with her, compliment her dress and have another drink (or toke or valium or ill advised hookup with a random groomsman) and let it go. 

Do I think having a wedding in a parking lot with 1000+ people is a tacky gift grab? Hell yes, but I'm not the one inflicting that on my 'friends' and family. I'm also not someone who would be likely to accept that kind of an invitation. Anyone who RSVPs yes to a Dugger wedding knows what they are in for and can plan accordingly. At worst, its only a couple of hours out of their lives, which is something to recommend it over many of the mega weddings I've been to.

As much as this family just vexes the hell out of me, I do hope that Jessa/Ben and Jill/Derrick liked their own weddings. I hope that for every couple who wanders down the isle. I'll limit my spite to just hoping that they didn't get half of what they (IMO greedily) registered for....

[TheDuggarnaut]

Jumping in with a quick detour to suggest the next thread song/title: I Got You, Babe.

[candygirl200413]

My parents were like most of you, wanting/getting married at the JOP, and will be celebrating 28 years this year. (I always joke with my sister though because one reason they got married 28 years ago was because my mom was pregnant with her and her religious east african parents couldn't accept anything out of wedlock!). But then when my sister was a year or two they had a wedding back in East Africa which I'm glad they did because I love talking about their 80s esque clothing selection

 

I've only been to three weddings which were from my sister's oldest friends who are basically like family and I think they spent the right amount of money because they both come from affluent areas but it was the right amount of people and theme and decor really worked well. Plus it was celebrating them marrying their wonderful husbands and now I totally understand why people get married and have weddings cause it was just fun and awesome celebrating them.

I forgot about the other wedding I went, couple been together for a month, rumors circulated as to why they got married. The speeches were very awkward because each others families didn't know their soon to be in laws and the wedding was thrown together in a weekend by family friends though I do give props because there was enough food and we sort of still celebrated their love? They lasted like 2.5-3ish years?

 

In the end I do agree that yes weddings should celebrate the couple, but unless they make it aware that they aren't feeding you, etc I still think that the couple should provide some type of refreshments. It could be also that I took a wedding planning course as an elective (and of course cringed with sierra's planning) and that was like the gist of what I learned if you don't plan to splurge on the whole she bang but still want to share you day with guests.

[CorruptionInc.]

I'm curious to know what the gift registry will be like.

I just had a look at the latest wedding GR I got invited to and nearly had a heart attack.

They're also asking for $15,000.00 for their honeymoon.

If I still drank, I would be having a drink to calm down haha!!!

[Mela99]

6 hours ago, CorruptionInc. said:

I'm curious to know what the gift registry will be like.

I just had a look at the latest wedding GR I got invited to and nearly had a heart attack.

They're also asking for $15,000.00 for their honeymoon.

If I still drank, I would be having a drink to calm down haha!!!

I can't get over wedding registries these days. I don't think it's just a fundie gift grab anymore. Few months ago I looked at the registry for a sorority sister and it blew my mind. Three stores, over 10k worth of stuff at each one (I may or may not have done the math... DON'T JUDGE ME), AND a honeymoon fund. I just don't understand it. Who needs that much stuff? Aren't you going to wind up with a bunch of crap you don't need if you ask for everything under the sun?? 

When DH and I got married, we had one registry at Bed Bath and Beyond. And the list of what we didn't ask for was far larger than what we did ask for. Some kitchen stuff we didn't have, dishes, and a few nicer things like a breadmaker and my beloved KitchenAid. I remember the salesman kept telling us that since we expected about 110 people at the wedding we needed to register for three gifts for each person. I looked at him like he grew another head. We don't NEED all that stuff! Nobody does!