Lori Alexander, 11: No Junk in Her Trunk Because She's Godly

[EyeQueue]

On 9/21/2016 at 0:54 PM, Koala said:

That's the other 23 hours and 50 minutes of the day, after all.

Fixed that for ya! Our Lady of the Lube gives Ken 10 minutes.

And tbh, he's probably done well before that.

ETA: @kpmom : We were on the same page with that thought.

[Free Jana Duggar]

Ok. Lori actually has a fairly reasonable post on her fb about not controlling your adult children.  She should send that one to the Duggars.

[Pammy]

When Lori is "reasonable" it's usually in the interests of covering her own backside. I wonder which 'bad thing' one of her adult children has done that she wants to distance herself from.

I'm hoping one of them saw the light and stopped spanking. (Which Lori can also totally justify by saying the early spankings are what made the child cooperative enough to eliminate them later.)

[Petrel]

On September 16, 2016 at 9:42 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

What struck me was her callous tone and the implication that since her mother was already 85 they weren't going to do anything to combat the disease.  It's possible nothing can be done, but being 85 doesn't mean you have to just give up and wait to die especially if there are treatments.

Lori mentions that once she passed 80 her mother was very tired and dizzy. Wouldn't that have alerted her family that something was wrong?  

I've always gotten the impression that, notwithstanding her father is a doctor, Lori and her family don't think much of  doctors, drugs or medical care.  I recall a long-ago post about her mother being raised in a church that lumped doctors and medical drugs with demons.  In fact the entire town was built around and based on this church.

 

Her dizziness would not have been related to the cancer.  I'm guessing but I think this "bone marrow cancer" is probably acute lymphoblastic leukemia.  It doesn't show up gradually, once the first cancer cell mutates to escape immune control it just bulldozes you.  The cancer cells can crowd out normal bone marrow cells rapidly, so when the cancer is diagnosed after a month or so of flu-like illness the bone marrow might be 95% cancer cells. 

People as old as Lori's mom have a dismal prognosis with acute leukemia.  As people age a particular mutation called "Philadelphia chromosome" becomes more and more common in leukemia.  There are many mutations that can cause leukemia, but Philadelphia chromosome leukemia has a survival curve that is distinctly worse than all other leukemia mutations.  A patient's best bet is to roll the dice, eradicate their bone marrow with radiation, and get a bone marrow transplant.  This is very dangerous and comes with long-term complications.  The alternative is 6 months of intensive chemotherapy and then 2 years of lower intensity chemo.

All that to say that if I were in her mother's shoes I would refuse treatment.  There are just some cases where it's the best thing to do, and going along with a relative who chooses that route does not mean you do not love them. 

(Someone close to me had leukemia and is hopefully at this point cured, so I've read a ton about it.  It was not Philadelphia chromosome. It took almost two years for them to get back to feeling normal in terms of strength and energy after ending chemo.) 

[QuiverFullOfTacos]

On September 21, 2016 at 2:54 PM, Koala said:

Well maybe not everybody, but The Gossipy Mentor sure doesn't seem to miss much for someone who claims to be so holy she can't turn on the evening news. 

The only people I know who are talking about the Brangelina divorce are the gossip folks who would talk about a throw pillow if they could find something salacious about it.  Certainly not "everybody."

[Granwych]

On ‎9‎/‎11‎/‎2016 at 9:18 AM, mango_fandango said:

On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 2:42 PM, AlwaysDiscerning said:

I noticed also how she is speaking out against this prophecy book, but yet she once said Ken has called her a prophet. Only she is allowed to have the gift of prophecy. 

"Prophet" is probably the nicest thing Ol' Kenzo has called Lori.

 

21 hours ago, alba said:

 

 

 

On ‎9‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 9:56 AM, Loveday said:

You give the impression that men (even Godly men) think of nothing else. It makes me wonder about how you have come to form such a low opinion of men.

The defense calls Ken Alexander to the stand...

[polecat]

11 hours ago, Petrel said:

All that to say that if I were in her mother's shoes I would refuse treatment.  There are just some cases where it's the best thing to do, and going along with a relative who chooses that route does not mean you do not love them. 

 

I completely agree with this statement -- sometimes it's better to not do anything. Death isn't necessarily the enemy. Battling cancer can be an ugly thing, as anyone who has seen it up close and personal can attest. And sometimes it does more damage (far more damage) than good. I don't think Lori supporting her mom's choice means she doesn't love her -- but I do think she's horribly callous in the way she's talking about the whole situation. There were some really brutal comments in that post, including one about how Lori finds it "amusing" the way people try to fight cancer when the odds are against them. It's not amusing at all. It's heartbreaking, as my friend could attest when she faced metatastic cancer of unknown primary origin at just 32. Actually, no , she can't attest to it because she died, leaving her young children motherless and her husband without his life partner.

[lilwriter85]

4 hours ago, polecat said:

I completely agree with this statement -- sometimes it's better to not do anything. Death isn't necessarily the enemy. Battling cancer can be an ugly thing, as anyone who has seen it up close and personal can attest. And sometimes it does more damage (far more damage) than good. I don't think Lori supporting her mom's choice means she doesn't love her -- but I do think she's horribly callous in the way she's talking about the whole situation. There were some really brutal comments in that post, including one about how Lori finds it "amusing" the way people try to fight cancer when the odds are against them. It's not amusing at all. It's heartbreaking, as my friend could attest when she faced metatastic cancer of unknown primary origin at just 32. Actually, no , she can't attest to it because she died, leaving her young children motherless and her husband without his life partner.

That was screwed up on her part. My friend's mother passed away in April from stage 4 breast cancer and towards the end she and her family kept asking doctors if there was anything that can be DONE.  Lori is a fucking bitch and honestly I find it hard to sympathize with her.

[feministxtian]

There are times and situations where I think that letting the person go is better than trying to keep them alive. There are times when I think what we want is counter to the best interests of the person. 

I chose to let my mother die. She'd had a number of strokes and was comatose. I could have signed the permission to have her fitted with a feeding tube and "keep her alive" for a little while longer. I didn't. She was gone. Her body was still here but who she was, the person inside was long gone. 

There's a situation that I know of where a child suffered a massive brain injury. Parents insisted that everything possible be done for the child. The child is alive. Has endured multiple surgeries since the initial injury, is blind, non-verbal, will never get better. I feel it's a disservice to the child to want them alive so badly that they are willing to do anything to keep them alive. That isn't living, that isn't alive...

But that's just me...maybe I am a cold, heartless bitch...

 

[polecat]

27 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

snipped

But that's just me...maybe I am a cold, heartless bitch...

 

 

You're only a cold, heartless bitch if you find it "amusing" -- the way Lori proudly does.

Otherwise, you're human.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

You're only a cold, heartless bitch if you find it "amusing" -- the way Lori proudly does.

Otherwise, you're human.

Its gut-wrenching and 4 years later I STILL second guess myself occasionally...like...I KNOW I did the right thing...but did I really do the right thing? I do not find it amusing in the least...between making that decision and making the decision that ended my aunt's life (who was more of a mom to me than my mom was)...I was a HUGE emotional mess for quite a long time. 

[polecat]

47 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Its gut-wrenching and 4 years later I STILL second guess myself occasionally...like...I KNOW I did the right thing...but did I really do the right thing? I do not find it amusing in the least...between making that decision and making the decision that ended my aunt's life (who was more of a mom to me than my mom was)...I was a HUGE emotional mess for quite a long time. 

 

I completely understand. And I'm so sorry. 

 

[feministxtian]

Thank you @polecat 

I had nightmares for years afterwards...now, after almost 5 years, I only occasionally have flashbacks. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy...

[Sobeknofret]

Face it, Lori *loves* when something awful happens to someone. Loves it. She loves wallowing in other people's misery. I can't even wrap my head around her mindset, to be so gleeful to see suffering. She's shown that she's absolutely delighted to wallow in Alyssa's and her parent's unhappiness and grief. It gives her the perfect opportunity to rub their noses in it- how "sinful" and awful they are. After all, she believes that if something bad happens to you, it's because of sin in your life. But! When bad things happen to her, it's a "test from God." All I can think of is the Don Henley song "Dirty Laundry."  In her head, "if it bleeds, it leads."

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, feministxtian said:

There are times and situations where I think that letting the person go is better than trying to keep them alive. There are times when I think what we want is counter to the best interests of the person. 

I chose to let my mother die. She'd had a number of strokes and was comatose. I could have signed the permission to have her fitted with a feeding tube and "keep her alive" for a little while longer. I didn't. She was gone. Her body was still here but who she was, the person inside was long gone. 

There's a situation that I know of where a child suffered a massive brain injury. Parents insisted that everything possible be done for the child. The child is alive. Has endured multiple surgeries since the initial injury, is blind, non-verbal, will never get better. I feel it's a disservice to the child to want them alive so badly that they are willing to do anything to keep them alive. That isn't living, that isn't alive...

But that's just me...maybe I am a cold, heartless bitch...

 

 

3 hours ago, polecat said:

You're only a cold, heartless bitch if you find it "amusing" -- the way Lori proudly does.

Otherwise, you're human.

 

If people want to let go and die that's fine and if people want to keep fighting until the end that's fine too. I agree with polecat said, Lori is a cold bitch because she finds it amusing.

[IrishCarrie]

When my darling daddy was told that his treatments hadn't worked and he had approximately two months left, I was lucky enough to be financially able to stop working for two months and spend the time he had left with him. The brain tumour meant that we lost a little bit of him every couple of days, sometimes physical abilities and sometimes mental, as he struggled to remember people he'd known well.

Bbut he always knew me and that two months is the most precious of my 45 years. If I got one day to live over again I'd take my pick from that two months, not from the "happy" times of my life.

Because when someone is about to leave you forever, there's a rawness and a pain and a beauty to the love you feel. It's the purest form of love there is - to give and give and give, in no expectation of there being a return to you personally. You know you're facing into years of howling grief and pain...and yet you give.

Lori finds this period amusing.

The battle to live is something that amuses her. She'd rather people just got on with it, causing less inconvenience to their families.

I was briefly angry when reading this thread but after writing this post I've calmed down. And I pity her from the bottom of my heart.

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, IrishCarrie said:

When my darling daddy was told that his treatments hadn't worked and he had approximately two months left, I was lucky enough to be financially able to stop working for two months and spend the time he had left with him. The brain tumour meant that we lost a little bit of him every couple of days, sometimes physical abilities and sometimes mental, as he struggled to remember people he'd known well.

Bbut he always knew me and that two months is the most precious of my 45 years. If I got one day to live over again I'd take my pick from that two months, not from the "happy" times of my life.

Because when someone is about to leave you forever, there's a rawness and a pain and a beauty to the love you feel. It's the purest form of love there is - to give and give and give, in no expectation of there being a return to you personally. You know you're facing into years of howling grief and pain...and yet you give.

Lori finds this period amusing.

The battle to live is something that amuses her. She'd rather people just got on with it, causing less inconvenience to their families.

I was briefly angry when reading this thread but after writing this post I've calmed down. And I pity her from the bottom of my heart.

So much this. 

We went through this just over a year ago now with my father (he died 9/11/15 after three years with cancer)...and I would not wish away those days. 

I was closer to my dad in the three years he fought terminal cancer than I had ever been in my life. My husband says he never would have got close to him had he never been sick. 

Obviously, we would rather have him here and healthy, but that was not to be. And if I could have one day again, I'd want his last day at home. 

[Koala]

23 minutes ago, IrishCarrie said:

Because when someone is about to leave you forever, there's a rawness and a pain and a beauty to the love you feel. It's the purest form of love there is - to give and give and give, in no expectation of there being a return to you personally.

Beautiful...very well said.

[Hisey]

Did anyone notice that Lori's Aiunt Roselyn took her to task in yesterday's comments? Ken rode in on his white horse and mansplained away Aunt Roselyn's concerns.

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Did anyone notice that Lori's Aiunt Roselyn took her to task in yesterday's comments? Ken rode in on his white horse and mansplained away Aunt Roselyn's concerns.

I missed that. I wish I could a fly on the wall in the homes of Lori's relatives. I'm willing to bet most of them can barely tolerate Lori.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Absolutely it was so, so amusing when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer 14 years ago.  It was a veritable laugh riot.

But sinful me, instead of just doing as Lori tells us -- giving up and giving in -- I decided to fight like hell.

So here I am, cancer free and living to snark on Lori. Life is good ya'll.

Lori can just STFU with her stupid, callous, hateful advice.

[Jellybean]

So much pain and love and humanity in this thread. It's such a contrast to Lori. I wish I could reach out and hug all of you.

@feministxtian I'm so sorry that you're still questioning the decisions that you had to make for your mother and your aunt. It must be impossibly hard. Different people have different belief systems and views, so it's natural to question, but I think you'd find many people understanding of your choices in that situation. 

When I was referred to hospice care, in addition to writing my will, I gave Power of Attorney to my husband (in the event of me being too ill to make choices about my medical treatment) and wrote an Advance Decision, setting out my preferences for end of life care. I already have a feeding tube and a permanent IV (Hickman) line, but I don't want to be kept on (or even put on) a ventilator if there's no hope of recovery. I don't want to be kept alive artificially if I'm unable to interact meaningfully with my environment, for whatever reason. I want to be 'me' for as long as I can; I want my pain and other symptoms to be controlled as well as possible for as long as possible, and then I want to be allowed to go as peacefully as possible, preferably in such a way that leaves my loved ones feeling peaceful and comforted in their grief. 

I think everyone should think about what would happen if they were to die suddenly, or if they were to become seriously ill. It's uncomfortable (my friends who, like me, are mostly in their mid-30s, are determined not to consider it until they are elderly enough for it to feel necessary), especially in our culture, in which it's seen as morbid to talk about death, but it's so, so necessary.

And bucket lists. If something is really important, find a way to do it. One of the bitterest things about bucket lists is that once one is poorly enough to make a bucket list, it's likely that many of the things on the list will no longer be possible. Please make the most of your lives, lovely FJ friends! Think of it as a snub to Lori and her ilk!

 

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

I think everyone should think about what would happen if they were to die suddenly, or if they were to become seriously ill. It's uncomfortable (my friends who, like me, are mostly in their mid-30s, are determined not to consider it until they are elderly enough for it to feel necessary), especially in our culture, in which it's seen as morbid to talk about death, but it's so, so necessary.

Fortunately, I had the "talk" with my mother long ago about her "final wishes". I knew what she did and didn't want. The thing is, it's easy to say when it's all academic, but hard as hell when the rubber meets the road. What may have made it harder was having to go down the same road (decision-wise) a year later with my husband. Fortunately, that ended well. 

[Jellybean]

1 minute ago, feministxtian said:

Fortunately, I had the "talk" with my mother long ago about her "final wishes". I knew what she did and didn't want. The thing is, it's easy to say when it's all academic, but hard as hell when the rubber meets the road. What may have made it harder was having to go down the same road (decision-wise) a year later with my husband. Fortunately, that ended well. 

What a relief to have talked about it, but I agree that it's much, much harder when it's actually happening. And how awful to have to go through it all again so soon. I'm so sorry *hugs*

Can you imagine how much worse it would be to have Lori gleefully proclaiming that you brought this on yourself by sinning, and that there's no peace at the end of the struggle - only more pain and torment. Ugh. What an awful way to look at the world. It almost makes me feel sorry for her - living in the world but not feeling any of the things that make us human and create strong bonds between us.

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Jellybean said:

Can you imagine how much worse it would be to have Lori gleefully proclaiming that you brought this on yourself by sinning, and that there's no peace at the end of the struggle - only more pain and torment. Ugh. What an awful way to look at the world. It almost makes me feel sorry for her - living in the world but not feeling any of the things that make us human and create strong bonds between us.

I usually don't read her blog or FB...it raises my blood pressure to unsafe heights. My usual reaction is wanting to punch her in her lying, hypocritical face until she cries...and kick the shit out of Ken inna fork until he is curled up on the ground yelping incoherently.