Lori Alexander, 11: No Junk in Her Trunk Because She's Godly

[Hisey]

5 hours ago, Loveday said:

Now THIS is a blog post that needs to go viral. 

Agreed! How is it that People magazine has not picked this up yet?

Seriously, I hope the two little granddaughters she mentioned grow up to toot and burp all they want to. I certainly hope they don't grow up to obey a man blindly, rarely leave their home, and feel compelled to  spread their legs whenever he commands. I hope they feel they have a world of choices as to how they spend their lives.

[Koala]

Oddly enough, this isn't the first time Lori has blogged about this topic. 

Lori Alexander 2013 :

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We never poop or toot in front of each other

Lori Alexander Jan. 2016:

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A woman shouldn't go to the bathroom in front of her husband. She shouldn't do anything where she can't sit in a feminine way in front of him. If you have to pump your breasts, do it in private. Floss your teeth without him having to watch. Whatever isn't feminine, don't do in front of him. Be women of discretion, especially in front of your husband. A lack of discretion turns most men off.

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Some women were even bragging about their husbands wanting them to pass gas in front of them! 

And then of course, again today.  She is definitely obsessed with the idea of pooping and "tooting". Very strange.

[Grimalkin]

I think she took it down. I was going to say screen shot this beauty. To late.

     It tells me 'page does not exist.' But it is in the index on the side, and Ican get it from there. Strange.

[Granwych]

7 hours ago, Loveday said:

Lori's reply to a comment on FB:

"Gall bladders help digest fat and if it isn't healthy, you burp. Without one it's much harder to digest fat so of course you would burp without one. I never burp."

 

She never burps. Never. Ne. Ver. 

It's bad enough she blogs, ff's sake.  Better she expel any gas and let it dissipate in the air rather than contaminate any reader's thought processes.

1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

So...the tongue is immodest? Indiscreet? Should I shout "Nike!" when I see someone's tongue potentially defrauding me?

What if it's in a sandwich, as in a deli?  Oh, never mind, cows' tongues are exempt (except for Lori's.) 

I know that's mean, but the truth isn't always pleasant.  And I apologize to cows.

[Gemini]

I did wonder if thousands of doctors were going to be harassed by women complaining that there must be something wrong with their entire family's gall bladders because they burp!

Then I remembered that it's Lori's blog and changed thousands to a few. 

 

 

 

[feministxtian]

I couldn't take it...I commented:

I don't know who you hang out with, but that's not how it is among my friends. Family, inside our home, well...a lot of times anything goes. But...that's the difference Lori, we like to have FUN. I don't have to continually impress my husband as to how ladylike I am...he's been pretty impressed with me for a long time now. I don't have to constantly be "submissive". I don't have to hide exactly who I am...because I'm married to a man who thinks I hung the sun, moon and stars on a daily basis. THAT is a good marriage. Not this passive-aggressive baloney you spew. 

[ViolaSebastian]

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When I was growing up, we never did such things. 

That's right, it's a well known fact that no one farted or burped before 1985.

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Thank you for posting on this subject. There is so much wrong with sticking your tongue out. Scriptures teaches us to be discrete and this would be the opposite of discrete. We can even see in the world how its vulgar. We know there is at least one demon named Kali who is always shown sticking her tongue out, also people have a gesture sticking their tongue out meaning sexual things, then of course the evil rock group Kiss's symbol was them sticking their tongue out. Also Charles Manson who was definitely possessed by demons, in his interview you see him constantly sticking his tongue out. It is evil. There so much more you can learn about this evil action. Thank you again for teaching about it:)

Yeah, lady, it's certainly demons and not, say, tardive dyskinesia from 50 years of taking medication for schizophrenia. I never thought I'd defend Charles Manson, but geez em crow...

[usmcmom]

8 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That's right, it's a well known fact that no one farted or burped before 1985.

I'm pretty sure The Feminists invented farting and burping right before they started stealing jobs from men. 

[polecat]

12 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That's right, it's a well known fact that no one farted or burped before 1985.

I seem to recall James Joyce's wife did an awful lot of farting ... so much so that he wrote entire love letters based on her astounding farting skills. Maybe Lori is just jealous that she has to hold it all in. <grins>

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Wow, she lacks basic understanding of humans' digestive systems. Burping & darting are natural. It shows your digestive system is working. Yes, most of us try to be discreet about it in public but home is where you can be comfortable & let it all hang out. Siblings frequently have contests but it generally stops when they mature. What a fussy, miserable person she is!

[2xx1xy1JD]

Sticking out your tongue is a sign of demonic possession???

You know, after that latest Duggar post where I felt like arguing and ripping it apart, I needed some comic relief.  This actually made me laugh.

Also.....I might just be that mystery woman who is having tooting and burping contests.  In my defense, The Boy is a tween, and boys can have a curious amount of respect for someone with an impressive belch.  My girls, OTOH, might just agree with Lori on the gas issue, but Girl 1 loves to stick out her tongue whenever she can, esp. in selfies.  Apparently, we need an exorcist.

Also, we have a soft spot for KISS.  Yeah, Gene Simmons can be a bit of a pig around women, but he's actually an awesome son who clearly loves and respects his mother.

 

 

[GeoBQn]

If sticking out your tongue is a sign of demonic possession, I REALLY hate to think how she would have dealt with a boy I knew in high school who had Tourette's Syndrome.  That was one of his tics.  Today he is a globe-trotting herpetologist (study of lizards, Lori) and he is definitely demon-free.

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What if it's in a sandwich, as in a deli?  Oh, never mind, cows' tongues are exempt (except for Lori's.) 

I can imagine Lori acting like Hank on King of the Hill when he first goes to a Jewish-style deli.  "Tongue?!? They're serving the parts of the animals you're supposed to throw away!"

[Koala]

Oh Jesus, Lori.  Really?

On Miley Cyrus:

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It seems like she was the one responsible for starting the whole thing with grown women sticking their tongues out of their mouths.

Lori, dear?  She's 22.  Don't give her too much credit.  I'm pretty sure people were sticking out their tongues, long before Miley was ever even an idea.

Honestly, she will believe anything.  It's easy to see why she assumes other women are so gullible.

[AmazonGrace]

I never thought she'd be into hosting couchsurfers. How many strangers she has lodged? Isn't that like a sleepover?

Quoting Fascinated quoting Lori quoting the Bible: 

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Today we find Lori pissed that younger women are encroaching on her blogging and godly mentoring territory. 

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When God speaks about older women in the Bible, He is speaking about those who have raised children. “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet,if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:10). Older women should be those who have spent the “unknown and seemingly ordinary” days being “faithful in the mundane” of raising and disciplining children, being a help meet to their husband, and staying busy in the home. Younger women haven’t done this long enough and are still in the process of doing it.

Do we think Lori has washed saints' feet?  Surely Ken is not sanctified?  

 

Anyway, how come she is so enamored with the Duggars then? They have had a LOT of young children at home and yet Michelle Duggar has gone on speaking tours. And once you're on the television or on a stage  there is no way to guarantee that you will not be teaching men. 

[AmazonGrace]

5 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Wow, she lacks basic understanding of humans' digestive systems. Burping & darting are natural. It shows your digestive system is working. Yes, most of us try to be discreet about it in public but home is where you can be comfortable & let it all hang out. Siblings frequently have contests but it generally stops when they mature. What a fussy, miserable person she is!

But yet again, she managed a passive aggressive jab at Ken. Now, we and the kids, WE never burp because godly people have manners, and healthy gall bladders, but Ken... so many horrible gall bladder attacks... 

[feministxtian]

5 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Siblings frequently have contests but it generally stops when they mature.

Unless they're my kids...the contests continue...My daughter's claim to fame is the ability to belch the alphabet. All 5'2", 110lbs of her. 

[mango_fandango]

As I'm reading this, I just feel like sticking my tongue out and flipping the bird. I can't be the only one!!! 

[Hisey]

Like Lori, I almost never burp. This should make me a model of femininity and human engineering, but unfortunately, I cancel this out by overcompensating at the other end. Sorry, Lori. 

The Proverbs 31 woman, OTOH, never farted or burped. If she did, it would have said so in Scripture, right?

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Like Lori, I almost never burp. This should make me a model of femininity and human engineering, but unfortunately, I cancel this out by overcompensating at the other end. Sorry, Lori. 

The Proverbs 31 woman, OTOH, never farted or burped. If she did, it would have said so in Scripture, right?

Old, dumb joke...

"Confucius say....better to belch and taste it than fart and waste it"

I couldn't help myself...going back to creating template files for my students again. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

10 hours ago, Granwych said:

What if it's in a sandwich, as in a deli?  Oh, never mind, cows' tongues are exempt (except for Lori's.) 

Very old joke: a maitre in a classy restaurant propose to his client some lingua salmistrata (basically cow tongue). The client recoils in horror and says "Oh I'd never be able to eat something that was in the mouth of an animal.  What about an egg à la coque?"

This is Lori, farting and burping and sticking out your tongue are ungodly and unladylike sins, unforgivable, shame upon us! While bragging on the internet about giving your husband 10 minutes and lube is godly, ladylike, modest and most of all discreet!

She lost contact with reality a looong time ago. Listen Ken, should her head explode one day don't try to accuse us bad feminist heathens with our sharp tongues and unfeminine ways upsetting her, cause now we have proof that she risks self combustion any moment! 

[Granwych]

9 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

That's right, it's a well known fact that no one farted or burped before 1985.

Yeah, lady, it's certainly demons and not, say, tardive dyskinesia from 50 years of taking medication for schizophrenia. I never thought I'd defend Charles Manson, but geez em crow...

Lori wouldn't know tardive dyskinesia if the poor person suffering from it hit her in the face.  Hell, Ken probably doesn't know what TD is.  But I'm sure that LorKen wouldn't say it was godly.

3 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Unless they're my kids...the contests continue...My daughter's claim to fame is the ability to belch the alphabet. All 5'2", 110lbs of her. 

Hell, our kids would have contests and occasionally ask their parents to participate.  And with passing gas, it's a tossup between Grampwych, Wychling, and the poor family dog.

[Grimalkin]

       I still think it's weird women tell Liri about burping and farting contests. I think the root of Lori's condemnation comes from the fact she has no friends and hates people who laugh and have fun together.

[Koala]

Lori:

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atheists are just people who are mad at God for how He's running the world

I know that her thoughts are simple, and that she rarely takes time to evaluate what she's saying before she spews it onto her computer screen.  I get that...really, I do.  

That said, this is just...such a dumb thing to say.  

Lori, there are people who just don't believe in your god.  Lots of people.  Some of those people have another god they believe in.  Some don't believe in any god at all.  This is a really big world.  To think that all of it's inhabitants are going to believe in the same God you believe in is something a small child would think. 

Let me give you an example (cause Lord knows she reads here, and I don't care how much Ken insists that she doesn't):

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Lori is just a person who is mad at Zeus for how He's running the world

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Lori is just a person who is mad at Brahma for how He's running the world

See how condescending that is, Lori?  Now if you ever want to talk about your anger towards Zeus, you just let us know.  It's probably what drives a lot of your hate filled posts.  Bless your heart.

[usmcmom]

6 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Old, dumb joke...

"Confucius say....better to belch and taste it than fart and waste it"

I couldn't help myself...going back to creating template files for my students again. 

My mother never allowed us to say the word "fart" because she said it was crude. She did, however, teach us this: "Better to urp a burp and bear the shame than squelch a belch and die in pain."  She always overlooked a burp if we promptly said "excuse me."  

Lori's declaration of "I never burp," is just so juvenile and makes her look like a mean girl who turns everything into a competition, which she is, of course. If she really is writing a book, surely it will be sold in the children's section because, my goodness, her writing is so childish. 

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Old, dumb joke...

"Confucius say....better to belch and taste it than fart and waste it"

I couldn't help myself...going back to creating template files for my students again. 

I dunno. I see that joke as racist. Like, I wouldn't say it to a Chinese person.