Fundie Speak

[Grimalkin]

Along the same lines as Buffy and Miranda: "I prayed about it and........" = fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway.

[Khan]

The church gave us a one time "Love Offering. "  It sounds like a what happens during Sweet Fellowship, IMHO.

[Anonymousguest]

I've been in a fundamentalist church for 15+ years, and I just can't do the church speak. It always felt fakey and uncomfortable to me. Even saying "praise the Lord!"'feels false. But then I was raised in the south and can't say "y'all" or "fixin' to" either, so maybe I just have a strong sense of grammar and proper use of language. (And actually writting this makes me realise I can't say "fundie", lol)

I do however say "neat", I think that is a product of my generation though, not fundamentalists. 

 

 

[alba]

What makes fundies think *Scotland* of all places is in need of saving? The country is still broadly Presbyterian, with our own special brand of fundies out in the Western Isles (if you want a ferry on Sunday, good luck!). Compared to the Catholics in places on the continent, or even the High Anglicans down south, we're really rather fundie-friendly.

Then again, perhaps they think we need saved from things like free university education, universal healthcare, and female political leaders.

[Mercer]

"I feel called to..." in place of "I want to..." as a justification for why they deserve it.

That's not to say it's never sincere (I'm sure it sometimes is) but it just seems like personal desires and callings from the Almighty tend to overlap a whole lot. 

It's okay to just admit you want something. It really is.

[Jellybean]

Blessed instead of 'lucky' (because Lucifer) or 'fortunate'. 

God-incidence instead of coincidence.

 

[Palimpsest]

Deviled eggs - Picnic eggs.  Potluck - Pot-fellowship, pot-blessing, pot-providence.  

[Lurky]

12 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

The Hodnett Family are also trying to reach Scotland.  One wonders why they don't try to reach Any City and 3/4 of the towns in the USA.  Here you go. Note the dire music.

I'm laughing out loud, because I really thought the WE. NEED. YOUR. slides would end in MONEY, because that's really what they're after - but I'm completely sickened by them using suicides in their grifting - vile, vile people.

(I'm also a bit weirded by the whole "FIVE MILLION!!!" part without any explanation of how 2 adults are going to reach 5 million people - but also the hypocrisy of their whole "Scotland's not all castles and countryside" part, then having the backdrop to their grift page being...  castles and countryside!  I'm in awe)

A serious Q, though - does anyone know what Missionaries think of the countries sending Missions to the USA?

[Palimpsest]

@Lurky I just made the Hodnetts their very own topic so as not to send this one of the rails.  Can we continue the discussion there? 

 

[Loveday]

5 hours ago, Jellybean said:

Blessed instead of 'lucky' (because Lucifer) or 'fortunate'. 

God-incidence instead of coincidence.

 

Now that's one I hadn't heard yet!   What's ungodly about a coincidence? It's just a matter of two or more things happening to occur at the same time. "My best friend and I have the same birthday. What a coincidence!"  "I ran into my sister in law at Kroger this morning. What a coincidence we were there at the same time!"  Do they think God always orchestrates these things deliberately for some specific reason?  Wait, never mind, don't answer that. Of course they do.

Understand fundies I never will. 

[smittykins]

I think they mean that God is in control of everything, so He ordains or allows things to happen, rather than just random chance.  I also never made the luck-Lucifer connection.

And FWIW, my former church called them "dish-to-pass" meals. 

 

[older than allosaurs]

Providentially (there's another one), Katie Botkin has recently posted a Devils Dictionary of Calvinist-speak, Doug Wilson division:  https://kbotkin.com/

Doug and his CRECkies eschew the neat and nicey aspects of fundie speak in favor of a more manly approach.

[Four is Enough]

Wait, I thought Botkins were robots... this Katie sounds like she uses her brain all by herself. Explain?

[Palimpsest]

43 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Wait, I thought Botkins were robots... this Katie sounds like she uses her brain all by herself. Explain?

Katie is a cousin and not a Robotkin.  She's written many posts calling Uncle Geoff Botkin out.

[PennySycamore]

If there is no such thing as luck, then why do fundies frown on gambling so much?

[Lurky]

3 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

Providentially (there's another one), Katie Botkin has recently posted a Devils Dictionary of Calvinist-speak, Doug Wilson division:  https://kbotkin.com/

I'm loving her style, so much.  Go Katie!

Quote

Conventional marriage: when a robust man takes possession of a physically mature yet emotionally stunted woman from her father, and then colonizes her garden.

Garden: polite euphemism; using the medical term is a sign of serious sin. Having your garden colonized may not be a very pleasant experience for you, but remember: flowers have no say in how they’re fertilized. Their duty is to bring joy to their gardener. The gardener’s skills in the flowerbed is obviously completely immaterial to the garden’s lack of enjoyment. Ladies: just shut your eyes and pray for it to be over quickly.

Quote

Belief: you don’t believe what you say you believe, you believe what we say you believe. For example, if you say that you believe child abusers should be jailed for public safety, we know that actually means you don’t believe in the gospel. If you say you believe the elders made mistakes, we know that actually means you believe the elders are evil. Since the elders are not evil, and since the gospel is real, what you believe is a lie.

 

[Bad Wolf]

I hope he visits York cathedral. It is truly magnificent, and puts puny little missioncations into perspective. IMO.

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

If there is no such thing as luck, then why do fundies frown on gambling so much?

Luck and gambling are of Satan.  They interfere with God's perfect plan.

[CyborgKin]

Which is why people in the bible never used chance to figure out what God wanted.

Oh wait, they did.

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Luck and gambling are of Satan.  They interfere with God's perfect plan.

Wasting money that could be better spent on converting ebil Catholics and funding missioncations?

[Jucifer]

This thread and some old Alexander threads have made me wonder about the titles fundies give to their blogs, schools, or whatever garbage they choose to spew into the world. 

A few examples: Lori Alexander's 'Always Learning' blog,  'Vision Forum',' Advanced Training Institute'... It's all just doublespeak and it's painfully obvious (to me anyway)...

I've always wondered if they were doing this on purpose. Lately I'm thinking that it's intentional.  

[dilannsmom]

20 hours ago, smittykins said:

22 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Luck and gambling are of Satan.  They interfere with God's perfect plan.

Wasting money that could be better spent on converting ebil Catholics and funding missioncations?

Wasting money on drinking, gambling, etc = less money to put in the offering plate