Counting On Season Two

[EmmieJ]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

Which premiered to lousy ratings.  TLC is searching for new shows, but hasn't found a new breakout hit that I've seen. 

Sounds like what TCL needs is a good house cleaning .   The people  currently  in  charge  don't  seem to have the brains or wherewithal  to come up with quality shows.    TLC, totally lame crap.

[SilverBeach]

On 8/28/2016 at 3:37 PM, imokit said:

Actually when you take into account historical context plus the nuance lost in translating things multiple times its not as clear cut as you may think.

Some historians think that rod was likely a sSheppard rod which was used to guide sheep and not used to beat them.  Thus the rod is not referring to hitting.  Discipline does not have to equal physical punishment.  You can discipline a child without striking, and use a rod to guide without striking.

I would like this many times if I could. Ancient writers were writing in a completely different cultural context and translation is approximate at best especially when interpretation is added in. I really dislike simplistic scripural reading, which many times is used as justification for some agenda or the other.

[scribble]

26 minutes ago, felinefundie said:

On the dress Noelle was wearing: I'm not entirely sure that the dress she was wearing was supposed to have any significance. Like, she's probably old enough to pick out her own clothes, so maybe she just picked a dress she liked out of her closet to wear that day. I mean, it's always possible that I'm wrong and they (parents, TLC, what have you) dressed her that way for some insidious or at least eye-roll-inducing reason, but I think it's just as reasonable she wore that dress because she wanted to and it was clean. 

This was my thought as well.... my 2-year-old already has definite ideas about what she wants to wear. She will take things out of my hands and say "No!" and grab another shirt instead. I don't think we have enough information to determine whether they are treating her any differently because she's adopted. I  think it's nice that she has outfits that reflect her culture.

[HarleyQuinn]

If I let my 4 year old pick out his clothes he'd only wear the same 3 shirts. I still pick them out.

[SilverBeach]

6 hours ago, Geechee Girl said:

@Antimony The condition of Noelle's hair shows it hasn't been cared for properly. Black hair requires a specific regimen. It's way more labor intensive. Her 4C hair was very dry. The left side appeared to be pulled too tightly. Her edges are damaged,  too. I also have the distinct impression her hair isnt being wrapped at night. I didn't go in on the style in my earlier rant, but here goes. It appears whomever did her hair gave up on the center part. The back was a mess. Too much stress was on the hair getting it into two sections. Four would've been better. Although her hair is short, it still can be braided into a protective style. Her parents need to learn how to maintain and style her hair properly. It's part and parcel to the responsibility they signed up for in adopting a black child.

Yep, or either brave going to the hood and letting a professional deal with it. My mom is old school and if not for her caring for my daughter's 4c hair before I could take her to the salon...heaven forbid.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

18 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I would like this many times if I could. Ancient writers were writing in a completely different cultural context and translation is approximate at best especially when interpretation is added in. I really dislike simplistic scripural reading, which many times is used as justification for some agenda or the other.

I'll have to find my source, but my favorite example of this is "He that spareth his rod hateth his son"  Some scholars say the 'rod' being referred to is a shepard's staff which is not used to beat the flock, but to guide it.  If correct then the lesson is parents should provide their children with guidance and supervision.

Cant argue with that.

Or could mean some horribly violent thing because there is a lot of that in there.  I've been watching a lot of Mysteries of the Bible and if I'd known there was all kinds of sex and violence in there as a kid maybe I would have read some of it.

i read SB's post but not what was quoted because dinner distracted me.  Sorry for the repetition!  Of to upvote @imokit who said it first and better

[SassyPants]

This is what I think about Jill... 

She had a romantic notion of the mission field and last year when the SHTF, Derick was OOW and TLC hit the road, the decision was made rather quickly to get out of dodge. But moving involved a new language, culture, no Duggar sisters to do (or help with) the work and BAM, this is not at all what Jill envisioned. Throw in Zika and a hubs who might have gently suggested no pregnancy while in CA and all of a sudden CA became very dangerous and scary. 

The language void was probably very, very hard for Jill. Remember, this is a girl who has had zero formal schooling and her first introduction was a Spanish language course, in a new country, with a new baby and none of her usual guardrails in place-

[MarblesMom]

2 hours ago, guitar_villain said:

since he's 15 he knows everything and his parents are idiots...

The older my kids got, the stupider I got.... though around them turning 30, apparently I had some IQ injected and as it turns out, I am going to be ok.

[Mela99]

I do think maybe part of this could be even worse culture shock for Jill and maybe even a little shot to the ego. She's used to leghumpers and like minded people lining up to slobber over her beliefs and laud her amazing life. She gets dropped in the middle of nowhere and probably expected the same reaction from the locals.

[Bim]

Well I have to wonder now what Jill and Derricks plans are. Will they go back to the missions field? Will they go somewhere safer? or are they just going to get pregnant and have to stay in the states?

If they don't choose to go back I wonder what their reasoning will be. I doubt we will see them admit it wasn't what they thought etc. 

Whatever they end up doing what I REALLY want to see is Jill use her midwifery certificate in a real way not jut for herself and her siblings. 

[Purrl]

23 hours ago, Antimony said:

I didn't think it looked bad. It seems braided, just not expertly so. (Whether this is because she has short baby hair or if their mom just isn't good at braiding black hair, I couldn't tell you. It didn't look as good as some of the images I get on google for cornrows on babies and the like but I didn't view it as unkempt either. But I'm white so maybe somebody else can tell us more?) In any case, they should learn more and hopefully have somewhere to go for that. Hair braiding looks like it was just recently deregulated in Arkansas which should mean more resources and stylists available.

The other child's hair didn't look amazing to me, but seemed exactly like mine as a child. Stylable but wispy baby hair so prone to fly-aways and escaping braids. It was easier to just let it go.

Why they have dressed the children so differently, I have three ideas

a) They are Doing Their Best (TM) to make sure Noelle has a connection to her culture
b ) They are White Saviors and would like you to know they have adopted an African But Who Cares About the Country It's All the Same to Us child
c) TLC asked them to do this to highlight the adoption story line

I think it's b and c. a is being very hopeful, IMO. 

They do seem to be delightful children. I love that Noelle humored Ben and ate one carrot and then told him how to color. 

Maybe Noelle chose her own dress?

[Geechee Girl]

9 hours ago, mpheels said:

I'm going to go out on limb, and suggest that the Neilers probably haven't had a lot of meaningful exposure to Black people in real life. As of the 2010 Census, Springdale was a whopping 1.8% Black. Fayetteville is 6% Black. 

@mpheels I'm not calling you out, but this does bring up a couple of points. In this internet age, not having exposure to black people isn't an excuse that holds water. The Napiers chose a Ugandan child to add to their family. It is their duty to groom her from head to toe until she's of age to do it herself. Hypothetically, would a black family get the same pass if their white adopted child had unkempt hair? (btw, this query isn't directed towards anyone in particular)

Regarding the demographics, it's a shame this girl won't most likely see people who look like her in the current environment. I don't see the benefit of growing up racially isolated. I often wonder if adoptive parents of black children really not consider what would be in the best interest of the child. 

5 hours ago, guitar_villain said:

Heh, can you tell me how to get a black teen boy to take care of his hair?

If I knew how to make teens do as they're told, I'd be rich. I'm not too familiar with boys hair beyond my cousins who loved fades or cornrows. Going to a black barbershop is a right of passage in the black community. The culture of the black salon/barbershop is more than just the hair. The men can show him what's up and how to care for it between appointments. I suggest seeking one out. First y'all should learn what's his hair type. The web presence of the natural hair movement is dominated by women. I'll hit up my girl to find out if there are Inasta accts popular with her male friends. My searches weren't fruitful. However, I did find this blog, The Urban Gent. 

/snip

10 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

or go to a black salon so that someone who knows what they're doing can handle it. 

A black salon can only do so much. The hair needs to be maintained between visits. My social worker mama used to facilitate the black portion of a trans-racial adoption group. At the time, the program served black and Chinese adoptees. I've witnessed the mothers basically throwing their hands up and passing haircare off to others because it was too difficult for them to even try. My mama guided the parents into understanding that hair care can be a bonding experience. In addition, she taught that a child whose basic grooming needs are neglected, yet sees their parent doing the hair of the other siblings, can negatively impact the child's self-esteem. 

While I was a member of a fundie church a few years back, 3 sets of parents adopted Haitian girls. I turned them all on to the Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care blog. It looks like she closed the blog and turned her info into a book book, not a Jill Rodrigues "book"  There are a few original hair tutorials she's left on YT. 

Thank y'all for hanging in there if you made it through this wall o' text. To those who quoted & mentioned me, hit me up if I omitted addressing your concerns from pages back.

[Geechee Girl]

@guitar_villain I also found Manly Curls site and Mane Man  blog. I hope your teen can find an online reference he can relate to.

[OyToTheVey]

11 hours ago, Geechee Girl said:

@mpheels I'm not calling you out, but this does bring up a couple of points. In this internet age, not having exposure to black people isn't an excuse that holds water. The Napiers chose a Ugandan child to add to their family. It is their duty to groom her from head to toe until she's of age to do it herself. Hypothetically, would a black family get the same pass if their white adopted child had unkempt hair? (btw, this query isn't directed towards anyone in particular)

Regarding the demographics, it's a shame this girl won't most likely see people who look like her in the current environment. I don't see the benefit of growing up racially isolated. I often wonder if adoptive parents of black children really not consider what would be in the best interest of the child. 

If I knew how to make teens do as they're told, I'd be rich. I'm not too familiar with boys hair beyond my cousins who loved fades or cornrows. Going to a black barbershop is a right of passage in the black community. The culture of the black salon/barbershop is more than just the hair. The men can show him what's up and how to care for it between appointments. I suggest seeking one out. First y'all should learn what's his hair type. The web presence of the natural hair movement is dominated by women. I'll hit up my girl to find out if there are Inasta accts popular with her male friends. My searches weren't fruitful. However, I did find this blog, The Urban Gent. 

/snip

A black salon can only do so much. The hair needs to be maintained between visits. My social worker mama used to facilitate the black portion of a trans-racial adoption group. At the time, the program served black and Chinese adoptees. I've witnessed the mothers basically throwing their hands up and passing haircare off to others because it was too difficult for them to even try. My mama guided the parents into understanding that hair care can be a bonding experience. In addition, she taught that a child whose basic grooming needs are neglected, yet sees their parent doing the hair of the other siblings, can negatively impact the child's self-esteem. 

While I was a member of a fundie church a few years back, 3 sets of parents adopted Haitian girls. I turned them all on to the Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care blog. It looks like she closed the blog and turned her info into a book book, not a Jill Rodrigues "book"  There are a few original hair tutorials she's left on YT. 

Thank y'all for hanging in there if you made it through this wall o' text. To those who quoted & mentioned me, hit me up if I omitted addressing your concerns from pages back.

I completely understand what you're saying. I just mentioned a black salon, mostly because I live in Brooklyn, NY and they're everywhere. I'm pretty sure those women won't mind someone seeking help to care for the childs hair. I also think these people don't really think adoptions through tbh. For this child to grow up in a town where 1.6% of the population looks like her? It's just not fair. It can feel very isolating when you can't relate to others on a different level. Her sister will never understand the hair issue. I'm not sure mom understands it either.

[JesSky03]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

I completely understand what you're saying. I just mentioned a black salon, mostly because I live in Brooklyn, NY and they're everywhere. I'm pretty sure those women won't mind someone seeking help to care for the childs hair. I also think these people don't really think adoptions through tbh. For this child to grow up in a town where 1.6% of the population looks like her? It's just not fair. It can feel very isolating when you can't relate to others on a different level. Her sister will never understand the hair issue. I'm not sure mom understands it either.

I don't argue that some of these adoptive parents may not have thoroughly thought through what it means to adopt of a child of a different race, but I have to disagree with the rest.  I think it is more unfair for the child to grow up stuck in the foster care system and never receiving permanent placement than to grow up in a town where the majority of the population is a different race. 

[karen77]

17 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

If I let my 4 year old pick out his clothes he'd only wear the same 3 shirts. I still pick them out.

yeah, boys and girls are different in that aspect I've found! My son only sometimes cares what shirt he wears (almost 4) and my daughter has cared since she was 2ish! (7 now)

[nst]

17 hours ago, SassyPants said:

This is what I think about Jill... 

She had a romantic notion of the mission field and last year when the SHTF, Derick was OOW and TLC hit the road, the decision was made rather quickly to get out of dodge. But moving involved a new language, culture, no Duggar sisters to do (or help with) the work and BAM, this is not at all what Jill envisioned. Throw in Zika and a hubs who might have gently suggested no pregnancy while in CA and all of a sudden CA became very dangerous and scary. 

The language void was probably very, very hard for Jill. Remember, this is a girl who has had zero formal schooling and her first introduction was a Spanish language course, in a new country, with a new baby and none of her usual guardrails in place-

well according to the new us weekly video - they are both clearly aware of the dangers - while Jill looks terrified - Derick loves planning when he is going to die - what Jill will do. 

 

[Hera]

17 minutes ago, nst said:

well according to the new us weekly video - they are both clearly aware of the dangers - while Jill looks terrified - Derick loves planning when he is going to die - what Jill will do. 

 

Wait - what?!?   I'm going to have to watch this video now, aren't I?  Shit. 

[nst]

15 minutes ago, Hera said:

Wait - what?!?   I'm going to have to watch this video now, aren't I?  Shit. 

the whole thing was weird to hear

it's not the romantic notion Jill thought 

so she has a plan if derick doesn't come home at a certain time. 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

14 minutes ago, Hera said:

Wait - what?!?   I'm going to have to watch this video now, aren't I?  Shit. 

It's

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/jill-duggar-husband-derick-and-i-are-at-higher-risk-for-crime-w436952

 

My favorite Quote from Dumber - 

“If we were back in the States, we wouldn’t be talking about, ‘Now if you die, what am I supposed to do from there? If you don’t come home after you are supposed to [at] this hour, then what do I do?’

I imagine families with spouses in the military/police force/fire department have also had these conversations. 

[Buzzard]

2 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

It's

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/jill-duggar-husband-derick-and-i-are-at-higher-risk-for-crime-w436952

 

My favorite Quote from Dumber - 

“If we were back in the States, we wouldn’t be talking about, ‘Now if you die, what am I supposed to do from there? If you don’t come home after you are supposed to [at] this hour, then what do I do?’

I imagine families with spouses in the military/police force/fire department have also had these conversations. 

Regardless of occupation, its a good conversation to have.  Do you want to be on a vent? For how long? Organ donation?  Etc

My hubs knows I do not want to be Terry Shiavo and that I'm an organ donor.  I also want him to remarry.  We've discussed the type of funeral I'd like (no flowers - donations to puppies, please!) He also knows my route home and I tell him when I'm leaving work.

Shit happens, thats life.

[ClaraOswin]

Yeah...no matter what a person does, these are important conversations.

And really, it should be in writing and whatnot. We've been meaning to get all the legal stuff done...a will and all that stuff...but we've been slacking. I think once you have a child, it's even more important.

[HarleyQuinn]

They are, but Jill is clearly using it to fuel her "OMG I'M IN DANGEROUS SINTREL AMERICA" story. 

Or she's just dumb and thinks that isn't normal.

Or both. 

[nickelodeon]

Quote

“If we were back in the States, we wouldn’t be talking about, ‘Now if you die, what am I supposed to do from there? If you don’t come home after you are supposed to [at] this hour, then what do I do?’"

Nobody dies in the United States. Here, we are all immortal, eternal beings of pure energy. The ultimate life forms.

[Chickenbutt]

Mr. Butt and I had this same conversation multiple times. We also did all the legal stuff when we had our first child. Not that I really cared much about funeral stuff (I'll be dead...lol) But I did want a living will, organ donation and first and foremost, who would get custody of our child(ren) if both of us died. I rested much easier knowing they would go to the people of our choice. Not an older grandparent, or an irresponsible sibling etc.