Pick A Reason Kelly Bates Is A LOUSY Mother

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, singsingsing said:

The fact that they didn't know the story of Michal is what pisses me of the most because it's so indicative of their hypocrisy. They were fundamentalist enough to just know that using birth control (among other things) was unbiblical, but they had clearly never actually read the Bible! Michal is a prominent character in one of the main stories of the Old Testament. If you don't know who Michal was or what she did, you have no business pretending that you know the intricacies of what the Bible commands about sex, children, or anything else.

I'd love to know how Gil and Kelly missed that detail. Michel wasn't some obscure name. She was part of one of the main stories that is constantly talked about. Married to King David, daughter of King Saul. Gil, Kelly, if you going to clam to know all about the Bible you might want to at least read the main stories.  Isn't Kelly also the daughter of a preacher?

[Iokaste]

16 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I think Michael is a perfectly good name for a girl - if Bateses would settle on a consistent story and just keep to it.  The concept that it was too expensive to change Michal (that uppity woman) to a girlier version of Michael is just too silly.

Off topic and just an FY!, those all look like typical girl's names to me!  

I suppose I do know of one male Caroll. His first name was John.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carroll_O'Connor 

And one male Evelyn. His first name was Arthur.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Waugh

And one male Ashley.  His first name was George. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashley_Wilkes

And a female Charlie.  Just Charlie and not short for Charlotte. It's cute and so is she.  She is 5.

That was my point exactly :-) 
They probably would look like a girl's name to most now, but as others have said they started out as boy's and/or lastnames. 

[BeccaGrim]

I'm sorry to harp on this, but what mother doesn't come home when her house nearly burns down with her children inside of it? 

[slickcat79]

On 3/8/2017 at 7:15 AM, Iokaste said:

I really don't get why Michael Bates name keeps beeing so interesting. Yes, their "explanation" are pretty stupid but giving girls typical boynames is a pretty common thing in the US:
Ashley
Beverly
Carol
Evelyn
Shannon
Shirley
Whitney
and the list goes on....
Elliot, Charlie, Maxwell, Sawyer, Arlo, Billie and Dylan all seem to be transitioning as well. 

Yes, it's a little odd in a culture so obsessed with genderroles and -norms, but so much closer to mainstream practises than a lot of other things they do.

The names on that list haven't been common for boys in decades (or longer). Meanwhile, Michael was the #1 boy name in 1990, and didn't even crack the top 1000 for girls. Just because it might be a common girl's name at some future point doesn't mean it is or was in the last 30 years. I also question whether celebrities  giving their girl children "edgy" names = mainstream transition. Some people feel compelled to use family names for their children, and some people just like Pilot Inspektor or Moon Unit.

As far as the Bateses are concerned, it seems strange specifically because of their gender-role obsession, plus the explanation and everything that came after.

1. You've decided to devote yourselves to a conspicuously religious lifestyle, but you're not very good at your holy book yet, so you pick a NAME FOR YOUR CHILD from it at random.

2. You realize that the name you've already saddled your child with has a negative connotation. Instead of just accepting that a biblical reference doesn't necessarily mean anything or choosing a nickname, you decide you need to legally change it. 

3. You're too broke or cheap to completely change the name, so you add one letter. That takes it from a fairly obscure biblical girl's name to an extremely common modern boy's name.

4. You can never settle on a spelling or pronunciation for your daughter's new name, so you just use whatever comes to mind over the years. Other people get confused. 

It's fucking weird. And the fact that they gave their daughter a "boy" name is the least of it. 

[onekidanddone]

On 10/25/2016 at 7:21 PM, OrchidBlossom said:

What video is this?

So there is an North Pole and an East Pole?  Oh that was painful. Is that what they are taught in their "wisdom" booklets?  People watch that shit and think ATI's home school material is a good thing?  

On 3/9/2017 at 3:49 AM, Iokaste said:

That was my point exactly :-) 
They probably would look like a girl's name to most now, but as others have said they started out as boy's and/or lastnames. 

I worked with two people named Leslie. One a man and one a woman.  They fought all the time in meetings and I used to call them rock-em-sock-em Leslie. Of course not to their faces.

[formergothardite]

David is the asshole in the Michal story, but she didn't keep sweet which is why the Bates didn't like her. They probably saw she was David's first wife and didn't read the rest of the story until later.

 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

I want to know who had the idea to make the females on the skiing trip wear skirts over their ski pants.  Those skirts were nothing but dangerous and unnecessary.  I don't care how modest they think they must be 24/7, you don't add extra layers on top of pants like that when you're skiing.  It's simply not safe.  The skirts could have gotten caught on something.  If that was Kelly's idea, then that is one of the things that indicates she's a lousy parent. 

[JordynDarby5]

4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

David is the asshole in the Michal story, but she didn't keep sweet which is why the Bates didn't like her. They probably saw she was David's first wife and didn't read the rest of the story until later.

 

Didn't Michal also risk her life by helping David when her father King Saul wanted him dead? I guess it doesn't matter if that she saved his life. All that matters is that Michal didn't keep it sweet later.

[formergothardite]

Yes she did risk her life to save him. David rewarded her by finding some more wives while he was in hiding. Michal was given to another man for a wife and, it appears had a good marriage with that guy. When David became king he demanded she be forcible returned to him. Her second husband ran behind the people who came to take her weeping and wailing. David gave no fucks about Michal and all she did was say that maybe he shouldn't dance half naked in front of the servant girls. 

[VelociRapture]

Just going to add these to the list of reasons Kelly is a shit parent.

1. She recommended Ezzo as a valid parenting tool:

Spoiler

I don't even care she isn't promoting "Babywise" here. Ezzo just flat out sucks.

2. There is a camera system in their house. To monitor their kids and visitors. Because that's totally normal and in no way creepy:

Spoiler

Bonus points for John-David Duggar installing it for them. Ten bucks says it would have been Chad if he had been in the picture at the time.

3. Because she kinda saw nothing wrong with that whole Gothard/Groom's cake at Cherin's wedding:

Spoiler

This post brought to you by: The Wayback Machine - Because the Internet is forever Kelly-Jo!

[formergothardite]

Thank you @VelociRapture! Reflections on Moral Innocence is an icky book. 

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Yes she did risk her life to save him. David rewarded her by finding some more wives while he was in hiding. Michal was given to another man for a wife and, it appears had a good marriage with that guy. When David became king he demanded she be forcible returned to him. Her second husband ran behind the people who came to take her weeping and wailing. David gave no fucks about Michal and all she did was say that maybe he shouldn't dance half naked in front of the servant girls. 

I thought that was what happened. Thank you. You have to love the Bates because it was the criticizing of David dancing half naked in front of the servant girls that damned her in the Bates eyes to change their daughter's name. Not the fact that she saved his life. A woman risking her life to save a man should be something they like.  Then again maybe it was that she disobeyed her father. Maybe Gil or Kelly didn't like that part too much. Don't want their kids getting those kinds of ideas. Its probably why Judith and Deborah aren't popular with this crowd or Jael.

But its still really stupid that they didn't read the story before naming their daughter after her and then changed their minds, then too broke to pay to change her name, add a letter then keep spelling her name different. And are sure to let people know why they changed the name.  I mean they could have just said they liked the name or for saving David, no one ever names their daughter Eve because they love the part of her eating the apple and getting kicked out of Eden or Sarah because the part in Egypt was awesome or Cain because he offed his brother (or maybe they do!). 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, JordynDarby5 said:

But its still really stupid that they didn't read the story before naming their daughter after her

This right there.  Seems that if the story behind a name that they are giving their child is that important, meaning that it be a story they approve of, then they might want to do some research before bestowing it.

They have to have tons of Bibles in their house, so how dang hard could it have been?

 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

I cannot imagine sitting down in front of my parents for some pre-marital "counseling".  How awkward and embarrassing that must have been. 

[nokidsmom]

56 minutes ago, Hmmm_idolatry said:

I cannot imagine sitting down in front of my parents for some pre-marital "counseling".  How awkward and embarrassing that must have been. 

All I can say is "Holy boundary issues, Batman!"

 

 

[JMO]

I wish they had taped the premarital counseling like they did on 19KAC.  Seeing the nonsense being exchanged between JB and Derrick was eye opening and affirming for everything we already knew.  

[fluffernutter]

We had to do pre-marital counseling with our pastor. It was actually a huge help and one of the best things we ever did. No joke- one of the things he talked about with us? Setting boundaries/dealing with the in laws. 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

On 3/27/2017 at 4:00 PM, fluffernutter said:

We had to do pre-marital counseling with our pastor. It was actually a huge help and one of the best things we ever did. No joke- one of the things he talked about with us? Setting boundaries/dealing with the in laws. 

I wonder if those boundaries include having in-laws read every single text you send to your fiancee?  Or, why a person might want to reconsider taking on in laws who are literally in a cult.  That isn't healthy, and should definitely be covered in counseling sessions.  

[melon]

On 10/8/2016 at 6:13 PM, Karma said:

My mum's middle name is Elizabeth and I wanted that for my daughter as well.  However since I wanted to keep the peace with my MIL, she also has her middle name, Ann. Plus a three syllable five letter first name. Our surname is only one syllable, six letters, though.  23 letters total.   Only the first middle initial is on DDs Medicare and bank ATM card though, which annoys her.

I think Elizabeth is popular as a middle name because 100 years ago there was a much smaller choice of names and  so if you're looking for a family name it'll be on the short list.  Same with James for a boy.

 

James,Elizabeth,Ann are all classic names.They were popular 100 years ago,and are still common today.

I have a classic name,and so do my brothers.All of our names can be shortened or have variations.My mother would get mad if someone called and asked for "Tom"....she'd say that is not your name...blah blah.Mr Melon uses a shorter version of my name,always has.My mother always used the full version of our names.

But my parents gave me a family/sur name as a middle name.It was my great- grandmother's maiden name.It was also the name my grandfather(he had 5 names,if you include his last name)used.It's also a man's name.I hate it.In our family,it was a custom to give a girl child a last name from the family as a middle name.

I dropped that sucker when I got married.I use my maiden name a my middle name.

[nastyhobbitses]

On 3/26/2017 at 10:05 PM, Hmmm_idolatry said:

I want to know who had the idea to make the females on the skiing trip wear skirts over their ski pants.  Those skirts were nothing but dangerous and unnecessary.  I don't care how modest they think they must be 24/7, you don't add extra layers on top of pants like that when you're skiing.  It's simply not safe.  The skirts could have gotten caught on something.  If that was Kelly's idea, then that is one of the things that indicates she's a lousy parent. 

Also, they're SKIING. And they're not dressed like Stupid Sexy Flanders; they're wearing practical, baggy ski gear. They're about as modest as you can get. You don't need a skirt.

[VelociRapture]

3 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Also, they're SKIING. And they're not dressed like Stupid Sexy Flanders; they're wearing practical, baggy ski gear. They're about as modest as you can get. You don't need a skirt.

I help? I help. 

[candygirl200413]

But guyss!! If they don't wear skirts while participating in something like sking how will we know if they are being modest?!

[Eternalbluepearl]

On 4/22/2017 at 2:31 PM, candygirl200413 said:

But guyss!! If they don't wear skirts while participating in something like sking how will we know if they are being modest?!

It's like the fundies are all in competition with each other, trying to out-do each other in modesty and whatever else. I've used the phrase "Jesus olympics" before and I keep coming back to it. If I was a fundie, the pressure to be perfect at all times and to out-modest the Joneses would kill me. I really think modesty and gender roles are an idol for these families. How long until nothing but a burqa is considered modest enough? I really chafe at the idea that girl's and women's clothing needs to be so carefully monitored and controlled. It's upsetting to see these types of ideas take root and be promoted by the men AND women. The controlling of a certain group of people due to gender, class, race, sexuality, etc. is never okay. Why can't fundies see the hatred and controlling of women that they are participating in and gleefully passing down to the next generation?

Thanks for listening to my rant. I admit I am nowhere near as eloquent as some of the posters here and I likely don't make my thoughts as clear. 

[tsukinokawa]

On 22.4.2017 at 7:36 PM, VelociRapture said:

I help? I help. 

you wanna know what I think is the most unbelievable thing about this ? the fact that Flanders, the most Christian man in simpsons is wearing this outfit that literally exposes the outline of his buttocks and he just seems so casual about it. 

all though I gotta admit that as much as Flanders is fundie, i honestly feel that he is overall better person than some of the fundie men (ahem ahem "Just Bonk Done") mostly because he actually seems to respect homer's view on religion and doesn't  try to force him to believe in god the way he does. 

[Hisey]

On 8/20/2016 at 9:32 AM, Arix said:

Easy, compare Jana and Michael and Tory and Joy. 

 

Michael went to a secular college and got married.

Tory's sporty streak has not been crushed, and she went to PCC. 

The Bates kids seem to have functional, happy marriages. Erin, Michael, Alyssa--they seem to glow with happiness. That's not really something you can fake for the cameras. Compare that to Josh's marriage or Jill's.

The Bates SILs hold real jobs. Compare that to Ben or Derrick.

The little Bates are not silent and unhappy like the little Duggar girls. As we saw with Johanna's latest video, you can try to force children to appear happy on camera, but it is usually pretty obvious it's faked.