Joshley 18: Another Summer, Another (Threatened) Lawsuit

[BabyBottlePop]

18 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

My guess is that most events the people in the Duggars' orbit have has to be something the entire family can participate in, and given the size of the families in question, it can get very crowded very quickly.

Yeah. Their family and extended family is big. I bet Sierra didn't want to offend anyone so she had to invite everyone.

[Fundie Bunny]

Shit. There's over 80 people in that picture. That's not a birthday, that's an intimate wedding

[season of life]

Didn't realize Smuggles deleted his IG. Seeing him smiling in the birthday picture just grinds my gears. Don't pretend everything is fine and dandy and you aren't a miserable lump of dough. How Anna can stand next to him and not vomit profusely, I'll never know.

[BabyBottlePop]

20 minutes ago, season of life said:

How Anna can stand next to him and not vomit profusely, I'll never know.

Same. And if she gets pregnant soon, I'll be even more disgusted.

I'm sure he was only smiling for the pictures. I doubt life is that good for him behind the scenes. Yes he's living rent and work free, but he's still the family pariah. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On August 31, 2016 at 1:28 PM, PracticeMakesProgress said:

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel that the most honorable thing (in a very limited pool of choices) would be for Josh to leave Anna? I mean, don't give her the choice to "keep sweet?"

Yes, I know she has no skills, education, and 4 kids, etc., etc., but it would potentially be a very temporary shit situation for a potentially greater one? And then, no one could fault her if Josh fell away, left the fold, turned his back on his husband duties, blah, blah, blah...

I also know that this culture always blames the woman for the man's indiscretions, but if he would just publicly defect, then there's some element of that which makes Anna blameless. Like, "I've done all I can, and he chose the darkness..."

She has family members that have seen the light on the other end, perhaps they could help her connect to ex-fundies and fundy lites who understand the ridiculousness of her situation, and give her credit for attempting to keep it together in the worst of arenas. 

I don't know, as stated, there really isn't a magic solution in all of this nonsense. I guess I'm just projecting, because if I was stuck with a man who privately and publicly humiliated me, our children, and has been royally screwing up his entire life, while picking specs out of the eyes of others (biblical reference, FTW!), I would crawl through the 5 football fields of sewage, for the promise of freedom on the other side (shawshank reference, FTW!) 

I've thought this for a long time.  He needs to do whatever he has to do to honor his financial obligation to his kids, but I think the decent thing for him to do is take one for the team and be the bad guy and dump her.  

It's the only way those people will see her as released of her obligation to submit to him.

just typing that makes me throw up a little bit because obviously it's terrible that the mindset exists, but as long as it does...he should do her a solid - embrace who he is and gtfo.

[Bad Wolf]

I think that even if Josh did leave her and blame himself, Anna would still feel guilty. She's been raised to believe that her husband's straying is because she wasn't Godly/available/perfect enough. I think she could get over that in time with the right kind of help, but I think Josh leaving would devastate her even more.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

43 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

I think that even if Josh did leave her and blame himself, Anna would still feel guilty. She's been raised to believe that her husband's straying is because she wasn't Godly/available/perfect enough. I think she could get over that in time with the right kind of help, but I think Josh leaving would devastate her even more.

More than likely this is true.  But recovery from surgery is always painful but if it eliminates the root cause of the problem it's worth it...that's how I see this.  There is no painless way for Anna to deal with this so to use another medical metaphor, Josh ripping the bandaid off in one excruciating wtf of OW would be kinder than doing it one hair at a time for the rest of her life.

Of course it's just my opinion since I don't know her and clearly these people have a mindset very different than my own.  I just know people are capable of doing things they would never have thought possible when they have to...and sometimes getting into a situation where you have to is the best for a person even if it's terrifying and painful at the time.

obviously it would be better if she could just come to her senses and figure out a way out on her own ...I just don't see it happening.

[Rachel333]

On 9/14/2016 at 6:49 PM, Cleopatra7 said:

My guess is that most events the people in the Duggars' orbit have has to be something the entire family can participate in, and given the size of the families in question, it can get very crowded very quickly.

I grew up in that social circle and this is very true! I remember once (within the last 5-10 years) there was a wedding where the bride was new to the area and was unfamiliar with what weddings are normally like around there. They had a sit down dinner planned but didn't realize that many of their guests would think it was no big deal to bring an extra 10 people or so. The poor bride was very stressed out by all the extra people attending her wedding. 

I don't know if the Duggars went to that particular wedding (I didn't go, but some other family members did), but the guest list (meaning the people who actually came, not just the ones invited!) would have overlapped quite a bit with the guests at Duggar weddings, so you can see how it's normal in that area to have huge events like that.

(My mom was horrified when she found out what happened, by the way, which is why I remember it so well. She went on and on about how rude it was for those people to invite entire families to a wedding without even asking the bride and groom about it.)

[Cleopatra7]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

I think that even if Josh did leave her and blame himself, Anna would still feel guilty. She's been raised to believe that her husband's straying is because she wasn't Godly/available/perfect enough. I think she could get over that in time with the right kind of help, but I think Josh leaving would devastate her even more.

I think Anna sees her marriage less as a union with Josh and more like a promise or covenant she made with God. Divorce would be breaking that promise, so she can't get divorced no matter how badly she is treated.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I think Anna sees her marriage less as a union with Josh and more like a promise or covenant she made with God. Divorce would be breaking that promise, so she can't get divorced no matter how badly she is treated.

If he left her wouldn't that eliminate her moral dilemma?  I know there are different flavors of fundy but ime the one who leaves/files bears the sin or whatever.  I know there would be social stigma and guilt, but as far as her concern for her soul and afterlife stuff I'd think if he divorced her she's still in the clear with God from their point of view?

i could be off in this. 

[Jana814]

5 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I think Anna sees her marriage less as a union with Josh and more like a promise or covenant she made with God. Divorce would be breaking that promise, so she can't get divorced no matter how badly she is treated.

I'm sure she does. How badly as things might get I have a feeling she will never leave Josh because she would be going against G-d. 

[BabyBottlePop]

If Josh cheats on Anna again, is she expected to just repeat what she's been doing now? Is she just supposed to keep forgiving him for the rest of their lives? 

[season of life]

Yes. These people know nothing about lines you are not supposed to cross. All they have to do is put on a Stepford smile.

[crazysnark]

http://www.inquisitr.com/3519756/anna-duggar-appears-to-have-black-eye-busted-lip-in-new-picture-what-went-down/

Has this been discussed? I got a lump in my throat when I saw it

[BabyBottlePop]

6 minutes ago, crazysnark said:

http://www.inquisitr.com/3519756/anna-duggar-appears-to-have-black-eye-busted-lip-in-new-picture-what-went-down/

Has this been discussed? I got a lump in my throat when I saw it

I saw a blow up of the picture, and I'm honestly not sure what to think.

[crazysnark]

It's not just the eye that's concerning as that could be just how the eye makeup looked in a certain light but that whole side of her cheek looks purple. 

[Bad Wolf]

I think if she really was bruised she would have used make up to cover it.

[crazysnark]

It looks like she tried. I don't know if you have ever tried or have successfully covered a bruise with makeup but it is damn near impossible, and sensitive to touch so rubbing concealer over it vigorously would be the last thing you would want to do.  If it is a bruise I hope Meridith accidentally kicked her in the face while co sleeping or something. 

[BadMurphy]

It mentions that her lip may have a sore, I Hope he didn't pass her the herp from an escort

[BabyBottlePop]

If it is a cold sore, she might not have caught it from Joshley. I have had cold sores since I was a child and I think I caught it from my grandmother from sharing a cup with her. 

[Buzzard]

I'm not going to freak about one black eye from a woman wrangling toddlers.  I dont even have any and have been clocked in the face by various toys... if it happens again, different situation.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

When I saw that picture on a different thread (sorry, can't remember which one), it really just looked like bad lighting in the store they visited. Is The Inquisitor the type of site to doctor a photo, just a bit? Or are they trustworthy?

[barbecutie]

The picture is not high enough quality to determine if it is a black eye so I will pass on commenting, but her lip looks like it has a massive cold sore on it. 

[VixenToast]

As a photographer all I can see is uneven lighting in a horribly lit store taken on a janky phone camera.  See the illumination of the outline of the "bruised" side of her face? That's from a concentration of light in the store, possibly a reflection from something shiny like the windows or even an incredibly glossy counter. Anna's face is catching shadow from Jill (as per the being a reflection from somewhere to THEIR left and our right.)

so basically this is a lesson in why professional photographers love lighting. You cannot underestimate the importance of a properly illuminated face, even in full sun, without a light from the opposite side getting rid of extra shadows.

 

jesus, my boss should give me a raise hahahaha.

 

Therefore, my judgement as a photographer is its bad lighting and a possible cold sore. (But hasn't Anna always had distinctively shaped lips? Flat in spots, with a little dip at the top of the bottom lip. Upper lip more normal but with minimal Cupid's bow.).

[backyard sylph]

I think you're probably right. And I agree in particular that looks like a cold sore.

The fact is, probably a great many people want new and more reasons to despise Josh. I mean, it would mean she is more hurt, which is deplorable, and who could truly desire that? But we can't easily wrap our brains around the idea that they just go on as they did before, and wish something would intervene.