Maxhell- Summer with the Maxwells Pt 3

[bertnee]

Quote

Divorce, like abortion, is seen as a quick fix, but it only “breaks” lives. My dad and mom divorced when I was in my early teens, and it broke my heart and ruined their lives. 

Crazy, then, how so many people go on to lead happy fulfilled lives after having an abortion or going through a divorce. Steve needs some serious therapy since he still hasn't let his parents' divorce go. Also? He needs to get the damn stick out of his ass already.

[Palimpsest]

Oh, but think about all the energy they put into keeping that marriage so secret.  Keeping secrets is probably the most exciting thing they do.  Pity it annoyed their leg-humpers.

I don't think they have ever cracked and told us where John went on his super-secret trip overseas.  Where in the World is John Maxwell was the most fun we've had with the Maxwells for ages.  

Shouldn't Teri start making lists and packing for her Cry Out conference soon?  It starts September 24th.

[BeccaGrim]

Its so weird how they have those pictures of Mary on there. Like she's up for display.  

[Palimpsest]

38 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

Its so weird how they have those pictures of Mary on there. Like she's up for display.  

But she is!  It is like a personals ad.  Steve has to marry one of the daughters off to keep the leg-humpers convinced that he knows what he is doing. Poor Sarah is way past her sell-by date by Fundie standards, and Poor Anna didn't "take" whilst in her prime either.

That said, chances are that eligible young men take one look at Steve and run for the hills.  Or those brave enough to ask are rejected by Steve outright as unworthy.

The lack of marriages for the daughters so far has nothing to do with the personality, house-training, domesticity, sweetness, suitability, or relative attractiveness of the daughters.  It is Steve.

[Coconut Flan]

Since the Maxwells refuse to give up the secret of the pizza cutter for lettuce, I'll offer up one:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/09/pizza-wheel-to-chop-salad-hack.html

 

[ladyamylynn]

Guys I'm cheffing for new clients today. They have an English Cream Retriever named Ellie! Pretty sure they're not the Maxwells though, since they're winery owners...

[Elegant Mess]

3 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Since the Maxwells refuse to give up the secret of the pizza cutter for lettuce, I'll offer up one:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/09/pizza-wheel-to-chop-salad-hack.html

 

LOL!  I love how the article says "There's really not much to say about the process".  I'm just picturing how the Maxwell's would describe it in their blog post:  poor grammar, long winded, with multiple posed photos showing essentially nothing.  Bonus points if everyone was blessed.

[deborahlynn1979]

Maybe John wasn't in the most recent photos because he was spending some time in sweet, sweet chaperoned fellowship with one of the friends' daughters .

 

Lucky bitch.

[Foudeb]

I can't picture John married - of all the kids he was the one I thought was the most likely to escape, date, have a bit of fun etc. before tying the knot.

Guess the most likely, in Maxhell, is still not very likely at all.

I hope he and his wife can start their own journey that could still lead them outside of Maxhell.

[JillyO]

14 hours ago, bertnee said:

Crazy, then, how so many people go on to lead happy fulfilled lives after having an abortion or going through a divorce. Steve needs some serious therapy since he still hasn't let his parents' divorce go. Also? He needs to get the damn stick out of his ass already.

But do they know where they'll go when they die?

[Peas n carrots]

Divorce, like abortion, is seen as a quick fix, but it only “breaks” lives. My dad and mom divorced when I was in my early teens, and it broke my heart and ruined their lives. 

Crazy, then, how so many people go on to lead happy fulfilled lives after having an abortion or going through a divorce. Steve needs some serious therapy since he still hasn't let his parents' divorce go. Also? He needs to get the damn stick out of his ass already.



As a kid of parents who split ( *gasp* mine never married!) I'm so glad they did. Their personalities are both volatile and it would have been a lifetime of misery for them and anyone around them. Did Steve's parents somehow put on an amazing facade for him that the divorce came as a shock he could never get over? Or an embarrassment he didn't have the perfect Christian family?

[alba]

Crazy, then, how so many people go on to lead happy fulfilled lives after having an abortion or going through a divorce. Steve needs some serious therapy since he still hasn't let his parents' divorce go. Also? He needs to get the damn stick out of his ass already.



As a kid of parents who split ( *gasp* mine never married!) I'm so glad they did. Their personalities are both volatile and it would have been a lifetime of misery for them and anyone around them. Did Steve's parents somehow put on an amazing facade for him that the divorce came as a shock he could never get over? Or an embarrassment he didn't have the perfect Christian family?

I think he thinks his mother should have just submitted to his father and then everything would have been perfect.

[Jana814]

6 minutes ago, alba said:

 

I think he thinks his mother should have just submitted to his father and then everything would have been perfect.

 

I'm sure that is what he thinks. Which is why I'm sure that he insists that Teri and is daughter-in-laws do. 

[bertnee]

I started to write a long post about how Steve is the worst but then I realized that's all I needed to say.

 

Steve is the worst.

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, alba said:

 

 

I think he thinks his mother should have just submitted to his father and then everything would have been perfect.

 

Steve probably wanted more siblings to rule.

[Melissa1977]

21 hours ago, Foudeb said:

I can't picture John married - of all the kids he was the one I thought was the most likely to escape, date, have a bit of fun etc. before tying the knot.

Guess the most likely, in Maxhell, is still not very likely at all.

I hope he and his wife can start their own journey that could still lead them outside of Maxhell.

Despite being a man and being more free than other Maxwells, I think he is too brainwashed to move as a single. He needs to marry and then, MAYBE, do little changes and have a relatively modern fundie life. But yes, if a Maxwell breaks, it would be him.

I see also Mary and Anna becoming fundie modern if they marry. Maybe not pants wearing, but relaxing a bit and raising children in a softer way. 

[clese]

On 26/08/2016 at 2:22 PM, deborahlynn1979 said:

Maybe John wasn't in the most recent photos because he was spending some time in sweet, sweet chaperoned fellowship with one of the friends' daughters .

 

Lucky bitch.

 

I second that...bet he wasn't chaperoned rather.  Not our independent hunk of gorgeousness that thumbs his nose at God. .I mean Steve.  And travels alone internationally. Nuh uh no chaperone for stud John me thinks

[formergothardite]

Was John the one who was supposedly more rebellious as a child? It does seem like he might be the first one to run from the carefully planned Maxwell life and do something crazy like buy a house that isn't within walking distance. 

I really want to know what they all were looking on their phones the second they got a cell phone signal. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

8 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

 

I really want to know what they all were looking on their phones the second they got a cell phone signal. 

 

Bible verses! It was a competition to see who could find one about the gorgeous mountains the fastest.  The prize for the winner was a Pringle.  There's something so awesome about Pringles.  You don't have "to hassle with" a bag.

I wish they'd been researching how to write more normally.  I've had beginning ESL students with better ears for language than Sarah. 

[MakeitSew]

The latest pics on the blog are gorgeous though, and they look happy. I'm glad they were able to get away and do something they enjoy.

[mango_fandango]

John was able to join them for a hike along the Continental Divide! Ellie did excellent on the six-mile hike! They bought a hands-free leash which was great because you don't have to hassle with holding a leash in your hands!!

Ellie did excellentLY. And wrong usage of hassle. Say "you don't have the hassle of holding a leash in your hands". Hassle is a verb, yes, but it's not used as such in this context. But, scrub all that, WHY is holding a leash a "hassle"? It's just holding rope in your hand. If you have a loop at the end of the leash, there's no problem with slipping the loop over your wrist to be able to use both hands. 

In the photo of him, Steve has moobs. EWW EWW EWW NO PASS THE BRAIN BLEACH

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

John was able to join them for a hike along the Continental Divide! Ellie did excellent on the six-mile hike! They bought a hands-free leash which was great because you don't have to hassle with holding a leash in your hands!!

Ellie did excellentLY. And wrong usage of hassle. Say "you don't have the hassle of holding a leash in your hands". Hassle is a verb, yes, but it's not used as such in this context. But, scrub all that, WHY is holding a leash a "hassle"? It's just holding rope in your hand. If you have a loop at the end of the leash, there's no problem with slipping the loop over your wrist to be able to use both hands. 

In the photo of him, Steve has moobs. EWW EWW EWW NO PASS THE BRAIN BLEACH

Yep, he's really letting himself go!  Ratchet back on the animal crackers, dude!

[Palimpsest]

@mango_fandango, Sarah's grammar gets worse every day.  

I'm sure I make grammatical errors all the time, but if I had a blog and prided myself on being a published author of children's books I would at least proof-read and catch my mistakes.  The Maxwell "professional proofreaders" don't even realize that she is making mistakes.

I sure I mentioned this one when I graciously sent Steve my list of grammatical errors in Summer with the Moodys.   "Ellie and I" is wrong.   "I" if the subject and "me" if the object.  If you are confused take out the other party. "This picture is of (Ellie and) me." See how easy that was? It's as though she is so afraid of misusing "me" in a sentence she always substitutes "I."

No snark, I think Steve has aged 10+ years in 5.  He looks at least 65 at the moment but he used to look young for his age.  However, Teri actually looks healthier than she used to a few years ago although I am still surprised that she is a couple of months younger than I am.  

[SPHASH]

5 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Was John the one who was supposedly more rebellious as a child? It does seem like he might be the first one to run from the carefully planned Maxwell life and do something crazy like buy a house that isn't within walking distance. 

I really want to know what they all were looking on their phones the second they got a cell phone signal. 

Free Jinger

[Granwych]

4 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Yep, he's really letting himself go!  Ratchet back on the animal crackers, dude!

Like everyone believes he follows the two animal cracker rule??!!  The great Stevehovah??