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Temporary Florida Man gets intimate with a shark...

nydailynews.com/news/national/ex-nypd-nude-man-florida-dead-fish-hump-mystery-source-article-1.3160264

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A freaky fish humper who got naked, straddled a dead shark and smiled for a photo is a former New York City cop, a Florida sports reporter claims.

People have been speculating on the man’s identity in recent days as the astonishing photo went viral online.

David Pingalore, the sports anchor for WKMG-TV in Orlando, said Friday he was contacted recently by a man who knows the former Finest and provided more photos of the man — clothed and not.

This guy lives in upstate New York,” Pingalore said of the mystery man in the picture. “That photo was taken two years ago off the shores of Long Island."

Here's a tweet with the photo of the dude straddling the fish in his birthday suit.   (Warning NSFW)

https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/863139456194367488

Is it wrong of me to wish the shark had come back to life at that moment and performed some below the belt surgery on the guy?

Edited by 47of74
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We need to start a South Dakota Stories thread..... on tonight's news feed  "a naked male that has a firearm"

Why are they always naked?!  

They said "bare" arms, not the whole package, dude.

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7 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

We need to start a South Dakota Stories thread..... on tonight's news feed  "a naked male that has a firearm"

Why are they always naked?!  

They said "bare" arms, not the whole package, dude.

"Firearm"... so that's  what the kids are calling it nowadays.  ;) 

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My reaction to these stories is always AW HELL NO.

It never ceases to astonish me how dumb some people are.

IMG_1651.JPG

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Florida Man Buford Carroll is in a bit of trouble with the law now.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/hot-pink-bra-bust-458302

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The 30-year-old Floridian was arrested Saturday evening after a 911 caller reported that the driver of a Dodge Diplomat was “swerving all over the road” and possibly drunk. The complainant noted that the driver was “wearing a hat, no shirt, and had tattoos.”

When a sheriff’s deputy subsequently found the Dodge in a hotel parking lot, Carroll “was now wearing a white shirt with a hot pink bra underneath,” according to an arrest affidavit. Carroll, the deputy reported, “smelled of an alcoholic beverage.”

Carroll, seen above, was arrested for driving the Dodge with license plates assigned to another vehicle, a misdemeanor. He was also improperly driving on a restricted license, a fact that Carroll’s girlfriend said he was aware. Asked why Carroll would do this, the woman replied, "'Cause he's a dumbass!"

Isn't that a prerequisite for being Florida Man?

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Feed Dump is often a good source of Florida and Florida-esque stories.  Here's one from a couple of months ago:

 

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Full on classic Florida!

thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/for-st-petes-sake-384027

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A 62-year-old woman and her 55-year-old beau were arrested last night for having sex on the front steps of a Florida dental office, a lewd display that was in full view of passersby, police charge.

According to St. Petersburg cops, Merri-Anne Bromley and David Wheeler were “having sexual intercourse” outside the offices of St. Pete Modern Dentistry (seen below) around 7:15 PM. The front steps of the building, a police report notes, “are within full view of the public and anybody passing by.”

Bromley and Wheeler, an arrest affidavit notes, were not initially deterred by the arrival of Officer Jonathan Reeves. “The intercourse continued in the presence of law enforcement,” Reeves reported.

Pictured above, Bromley and Wheeler were subsequently separated and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, a misdemeanor. Bromley is locked up on $250 bond, while Wheeler was released from jail late this afternoon on his own recognizance.

 

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Even the lawyers are getting in on the fun....

nypost.com/2017/05/17/judge-to-decide-if-murder-suspect-can-show-penis-to-jury/

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Lawyers in the murder trial of a Florida man who wants to show his penis to the jury went back and forth this week on whether he would need to be erect.

The trial for Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate began on Tuesday, but the judge has not ruled whether his genitals will be presented in the courtroom.

Patterson’s lawyers want to use his penis as evidence to argue that his girlfriend Francisca Marquinez, 60, choked to death while performing oral sex on him in 2015.

The prosecution reportedly doesn’t object, but argued at the trial that his penis must be erect, according to news station WPLG.

 

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I think a graph, an illustration, could've been sufficient in that case? If I were on the jury and that was permitted, I would not be happy.

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Perhaps a police sketch artist?

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From my yahoo feed.  And I 'had' to put the photo on here (under the spoiler) because, well, it says SO much.  

https://www.yahoo.com/news/wannabe-apos-joker-apos-charged-185628471.html

Spoiler

74bed085d4c6b36a676f256d1a96cc02

 
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Wannabe 'Joker' Charged With Waving Gun At Passing Cars

 Nina Golgowski,HuffPost 1 hour 15 minutes ago 

A real-life clown faces gun charges after police accused him of waving a loaded pistol at passing cars in Miami.

Lawrence Patrick Sullivan, whose tattooed face and green hair resemble the Batman villain, the Joker, was booked Tuesday on a charge of carrying a concealed firearm without a permit, the Miami Herald reported.

Miami Dade Police said Sullivan, 29, was armed with a handgun loaded with six rounds of ammunition when he walked outside of an apartment complex and began pointing the weapon at passing cars.

Sullivan, speaking to reporters outside a detention center, denied doing anything criminal.

“If I was waving a gun, yeah, I will admit it. I was not waving a gun. Did I have a gun in my pocket while I was walking my dog at the time? Yes, because I want to be safe,” he told CBS Miami. Sullivan later contradicted himself, telling reporters he was armed with a knife, not a gun.

Sullivan said he will fight the charge. He insisted the handgun is registered in his name, and said he doesn’t need a gun permit because “we live in America.”

He defiantly added that he was “treated like a celebrity” while behind bars in a psych ward, which he said is where he was jailed because he takes medication.

Sullivan’s family told reporters that while he may have had a gun, they don’t believe he threatened anyone.

“He’s a good kid. You know. He has a lot of tattoos,” his mother told CBS Miami. “But he’s a nice kid with some problems. He is mentally disabled and is handicapped.”

As for his tattoos, which include the word “Joker” and a profane Batman logo on his forehead, Sullivan’s sister told NBC Miami: “He’s just playing a character. I warned him that people would take it the wrong way.”

This article originally appeared on HuffPost .

4

 

Edited by clueliss
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Here we go - nekid man in Florida swiping a swan statue;

https://www.local10.com/news/weird-news/naked-man-caught-on-video-stealing-truck-with-swan

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A Florida mystery is so complex, it needs to a step-by-step explanation:

  1. Man steals truck
  2. Swan sculpture was in back of truck
  3. Man was naked
  4. Truck was located
  5. Man was arrested
  6. Swan still missing

 

On 5/25/2017 at 3:16 PM, clueliss said:

From my yahoo feed.  And I 'had' to put the photo on here (under the spoiler) because, well, it says SO much.  

https://www.yahoo.com/news/wannabe-apos-joker-apos-charged-185628471.html

  Reveal hidden contents

74bed085d4c6b36a676f256d1a96cc02

 

 

And Christ, save me from all the good kids

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A T-Mobile employee is in a spot of trouble with the law after he mailed an explicit video he found on a customer's phone to himself.  Did I mention this was in Florida?

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/t-mobile-phone-heist-184935

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According to police, the victim brought her phone to a T-Mobile store in Pinellas Park, Florida so a worker could “reboot and reactivate the service on the phone.” The employee who handled the woman’s phone Friday afternoon was Roberto Sanchez Ramos, investigators report.

The victim subsequently “noticed her email had been accessed and her sexually explicit video was sent to” an e-mail account that cops allege is Sanchez Ramos’s.

Sanchez Ramos pleaded guilty last year to a scheme to defraud charge related to attempts to artificially inflate his sales commission figures. Sanchez Ramos was sentenced to 18 months probation and ordered to reimburse T-Mobile $200. Sanchez Ramos’s rap sheet also includes a 2013 grand theft case that was dismissed after he was placed in a pretrial intervention program for first-time offenders.

It is unknown how the Clearwater resident was employed by T-Mobile after having previously been convicted of a work-related felony.

I'm thinking he got canned from one T-Mobile franchise operation and went to work for another one.  I hope that's his last stint with T-Mobile.

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On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 10:01 PM, 47of74 said:

A T-Mobile employee is in a spot of trouble with the law after he mailed an explicit video he found on a customer's phone to himself.  Did I mention this was in Florida?

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/t-mobile-phone-heist-184935

I'm thinking he got canned from one T-Mobile franchise operation and went to work for another one.  I hope that's his last stint with T-Mobile.

Can you wank me now? Oh wait, that was the tag line for Verizon.  ;) 

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Here's pretty much the worst Florida woman in the world.

http://fox61.com/2017/06/07/florida-woman-sentenced-in-sandy-hook-parent-threat-case/

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A federal judge sentenced 57-year-old Lucy Richards on Wednesday to five months in prison, followed by five months of home detention. She pleaded guilty to interstate transmission of a threat to injure.

Richards failed to appear at a previous guilty plea hearing, was arrested in April and has been jailed since. She is charged with threatening Lenny Pozner, the father of Noah Pozner, who died in the Sandy Hook school shooting in Newtown.

I hope she enjoys prison. 

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I'm from Florida and even I find these ridiculous.

Here's the latest ridiculous Florida news story.

Florida man stuffs 15 bottles of motor oil and 30 DVDs down his pants at a 7-Eleven

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Authorities say a man who was wearing baggy blue jeans managed to stuff 15 quart-sized bottles of Pennzoil motor oil and 30 DVDs down his pants before walking out of a 7-Eleven store in Lakeland last week.

 

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Florida woman has had a busy week.

thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/woman-busted-after-booty-call-goes-bad-789025

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A Florida woman on a booty call quest showed up at her ex-boyfriend’s home early yesterday morning and, upon discovering another woman in his bed, began pummeling the female victim in the head, according to police.

Cops say that Krystina Joy Rivera, 27, had been sending her former beau “text messages...about wanting to come over and having sex.” Rivera’s ex, however, “did not acknowledge the text messages,” investigators noted.

Rivera, seen at right in a Facebook photo, proceeded to the man’s St. Petersburg residence around 5 AM and somehow “forced her way into” the home via the closed front door. At the time, Ronald Koch “was lying in bed” with girlfriend Julie Thomas.

Police allege that Rivera, “without saying a word,” walked into the bedroom and began repeatedly punching Thomas in the face. Thomas, a criminal complaint states, was left bloodied and with “minor injuries to her face” as a result of the attack.

 

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Meanwhile Florida Man has had a busy week too....

http://news.brevardtimes.com/2017/06/florida-man-calls-911-for-ride-to_7.html

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According to sheriff's deputies, 28-year-old Jonathan Clayton Hinkle of Merritt Island, Florida called 911 and told dispatchers that his elderly grandmother was having a stroke in the parking lot of Hooters and that he needed to get to her to assist her.

Hinkle allegedly told the 911 operator that he was running as fast as he could from south Merritt Island in order to get to his grandmother and help her. He then allegedly asked the dispatcher if he could obtain a ride from deputies in exchange for money so that he could assist his grandmother.

Three hours after the initial 911 call, deputies were able to locate Hinkle's grandmother. The grandmother stated in a sworn interview with deputies that she never called Hinkle to say that she was in distress or needed medical attention.

Deputies then arrested Hinkle and gave him a ride to the Brevard County Jail in Sharpes, Florida where he was charged with misuse of the 911 system, his fourth offense.

 

JeanLucFacePalm.thumb.jpg.f5c293b7315c109e10f9f8b642c8607c.jpg

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On ‎6‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 10:49 PM, 47of74 said:

Meanwhile Florida Man has had a busy week too....

http://news.brevardtimes.com/2017/06/florida-man-calls-911-for-ride-to_7.html

 

JeanLucFacePalm.thumb.jpg.f5c293b7315c109e10f9f8b642c8607c.jpg

Reminds me of a clip I heard of some drunk guy calling 911 to get a ride to the liquor store (can't remember where he was, though).

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One Saturday night my husband and I were driving down the street in a partying area of town. There was a police car ahead of us and we all stopped at a red light.

A (very drunk) young lady approached the cop car and reached for the back door handle, mistaking it for a cab I guess.  At least she wasn't driving.  :)  

Georgia is not far from Florida. Florida woman gets around. :)

I once heard a recording of a woman from Florida who called 911 because she was out of cigarettes. :)

Edited by Jucifer
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Thank you KC Star - NAKED Florida Man. (With bonus dashcam video at the link)

http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article155364524.html

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Dashcam video: Naked man accused of damaging officer’s cruiser, urinating on car

MONTY DAVIS

The dashcam video inside a Marion County Sheriff’s deputy’s patrol car captured the scene as Andrew Humphries, 18, was discovered walking nude along a Florida highway earlier this week.

According to News Channel 8, the deputy was concerned about Humphries’ well-being. The officer stopped to talk to him and while doing so the suspect walked past him to the driver’s side of the patrol car and tried to open it, but it was locked.

The deputy arrested Humphries and placed him in the back of the patrol car. Humphries did about $1,000 of damage to the inside of the patrol car by kicking a door and pulling on a metal cage, News Channel 8 reports.

Investigators also believe Humphries left the scene of an earlier accident in which he was the driver. After that accident, witnesses told police he walked up to another car, pulled on the door handle and tore it off when it wouldn’t open. He then urinated on the car.

Humphries was arrested and charged with property damage of $1,000 or more, one count of felony criminal mischief and one misdemeanor count of criminal mischief.

The Florida Highway Patrol is conducting an investigation into the vehicle accident.

 

 

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Someone towing a Flaming Boat in the Miami-Dade area was caught on tape.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/heres-video-of-someone-towing-a-flaming-boat-down-a-miami-highway-9402579?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

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To live in Miami is to constantly feel as if you're trapped in an abandoned David Lynch film. Seminude men with face tattoos rollerblade through traffic in broad daylight, dilapidated buildings could be infested with anything from peacocks to bears to trained circus seals, and flaming boats just sometimes drive down the highway and everyone acts like things are cool.

Earlier this week, an anonymous Imgur user posted a GIF of a navy-blue pickup truck towing a boat on a random highway while the boat spit gigantic flames behind him. A Redditor who goes by iBleedOrange then spotted the clip on the website and posted it to Reddit's r/WTF forum, where the clip then blew up, no pun intended.

It's unclear how old the footage might be, but the GIF was posted online only four days ago. (Redditor iBleedOrange told New Times via direct message that he had no idea who posted the clip originally.)

The only thing more astounding than the clip might be what happened next: A group of Redditors used Google Maps to pinpoint the location where the footage was taken. Naturally, it was Miami-Dade. The clip was filmed directly across the street from Jorge Mas Canosa Middle School on Newton Road in far Southwest Miami-Dade County.

 

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