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Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)


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@polecat it all fell out?? That's crazy! 

My hair was much more orange/fiery when I was a kid and then mellowed out into a blonder red. I've never met anyone with my same color of hair though. It's...unusual. Which apparently makes Jesus angry.

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Just now, jerkit said:

@polecat it all fell out?? That's crazy! 

My hair was much more orange/fiery when I was a kid and then mellowed out into a blonder red. I've never met anyone with my same color of hair though. It's...unusual. Which apparently makes Jesus angry.

 

Yeah -- I have no idea what happened. My kids were born with dark brown, almost black hair, and then it turned blonde, too, but their hair is darker than mine ever was. But they never went bald.  

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Someone's going to get deleeeeeeted....:naughty: From the "Softness and Femininity" post-

 

Spoiler


I have a few concerns regarding this post. Do you truly not see the irony of your actions? Having an Internet blog that you know gets many views and shares is hardly maintaining a meek spirit. In fact one could say it's the opposite of having a meek sprit. What are your thoughts on this because I'm sincerely interested in your answer.? I say that with zero sarcasm. 

Also, you do realize that the " feminist 
movement" is the very reason that you can speak your mind freely ? You have the feminists to thank for their hard work and perservance on social change. They are ultimately the reason this blog can exist and they are the reason you can openly speak your mind on all things you deem worthy of a conversation. 

This is a teaching blog ...am I correct ? One of the main legs you stand on is women cannot be teacers of the word or have authority over men. Are you not doing both of these things? 

Lastlly, I hope that my tone is not condescending. I think you're very brave to express these views and beliefs in a time where this is not the popular opinion. I would like to hear your thoughts on the irony of your own blog and Facebook page?

Ps: please try to stop demonizing feminists- they have paved the trail for us all. Your opinion is allowed to exist because of their diligence in getting us to this point. Sometimes I wonder why you don't take your own advice and just stop talking

 

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Oh, how I love that comment! 

Quote

Sometimes I wonder why you don't take your own advice and just stop talking

I would love to see Lori or Ken respond to this.

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Those comments are amazing! :clap:

I would love to see Lori try to engage with that person who wrote about feminism. But she won't. She will either delete it or say something about how God told her to tell the commenter they're wrong. It's sad, because that is such an eloquent and thoughtful comment. 

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9 minutes ago, Koala said:

Looks like it's gone.  No one questions The Godly Mentor. :roll:

I'm still seeing it. It's on her FB post, not on her blog. 

Which reminds me of all the different social media platforms she's on. For someone who tells others to minimize their internet usage and pay more attention to their families, she sure doesn't practice what she preaches, does she? Another case of do as I say, not as I do.

 

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15 hours ago, iweartanktops said:

Thank you! :laughing-rolling: this is one of the best things I've read all week! 

Funny... When I was raped I was following all of Lori's guidelines. I guess I somehow made it easy for him. Fuck you, Lori. 

Right?  I guess being ten was making it easy for the man who sexually assaulted me.  But Ken tells me that molestation and incest are completely normal, so I'm in the wrong no matter what I do. 

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Regarding Lori's anti-rape advice, the poster wanted to know how to give her daughters sensible safety advice, while also making it  clear that rape is never the woman's fault. 

Lori's reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired. 

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Regarding the modesty post from a couple of days ago: I believe women should dress modestly, but not because men are pigs who can't control themselves. I have told my teen daughter that  modesty has to do with how you present yourself to others. Do you want to look like you "give it away" easily?  What do you want people to think of you? Would you meet your new boyfriend's grandma dressed like you work at Hooters? Would you go to a job interview with a skirt up to your crotch? Of course we know Lori doesn't believe in women working, so no need to have proper job interview clothes.

Modesty has nothing to do with covering so men won't lust. It's about self respect. Get a grip Lori.

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This is what my dad said about rape/abuse: "He better pray the law gets him before I do. Real men don't hurt women." My husband shares this belief.

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36 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Do you want to look like you "give it away" easily?

Nothing you wear means you are giving anything away.  Different women are comfortable with different degrees of dress.  But not wanting to look like you "give it away" too easily?  Just no.  

Most people would consider my clothing pretty modest.  I'm a sahm, so I pretty much live in jeans and a t-shirt. I have a neighbor (a doctor) who seems to switch to spaghetti strap tank tops and short shorts the minute she gets home. 

You know what that tells me about her?  It tells me that's what she's comfortable in,  just like I'm comfortable in my jeans.  It sure as hell doesn't make me think she's offering herself up to men or that's she's easy.

12 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

This is what my dad said about rape/abuse: "He better pray the law gets him before I do. Real men don't hurt women." My husband shares this belief.

Yep.  That's the sentiment around here too.

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1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Regarding the modesty post from a couple of days ago: I believe women should dress modestly, but not because men are pigs who can't control themselves. I have told my teen daughter that  modesty has to do with how you present yourself to others. Do you want to look like you "give it away" easily?  What do you want people to think of you? Would you meet your new boyfriend's grandma dressed like you work at Hooters? Would you go to a job interview with a skirt up to your crotch? Of course we know Lori doesn't believe in women working, so no need to have proper job interview clothes.

Modesty has nothing to do with covering so men won't lust. It's about self respect. Get a grip Lori.

This just doesnt sit right with me. Self respect is a big deal, but lots of people respect themselves: including people who show a lot of leg, people who do enjoy sex and want to be flirted with, and people whose grandmothers worked at Hooters.

And besides those people, lots of people know how to dress for a job interview or a grandmother visit, and respect themselves in their everyday (less conservative) clothes just as much as they do when they are dressing with a specific context in mind.

My clothes today are house clothes, and I would change for various occasions. My self respect doesn't fluctuate just because I know that my couch doesn't care that these shorts make me look fat (and are covered in cat fur). Neither does someone else's self respect become excessively low if she doesn't always dress with an audience of grandmothers in mind.

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I think it's important to teach kids to dress for the occasion. So no, you don't want to wear a skirt up to your crotch for a job interview (unless, perhaps, you are interviewing as a Vegas showgirl or some other job that would require a skirt up to your crotch). But you might want to wear a super short skirt on a night out with the girls. And you definitely want to wear an appropriate outfit to a funeral, but you can wear those short shorts and tank top to a barbecue.

 

As for "giving it away," sometimes you WANT to "give it away" easily. It's mine to give away to whoever I want whenever I want. That was my first and, perhaps only real, rebellion as a young woman leaving the fundy world. Reclaiming my body was HUGE, and "giving it away" was a powerful act for me. I realize that's a loaded issue for a lot of people, but free sexual expression doesn't make a woman less valuable or less worthy than a woman who plays "hard to get." If I had a daughter, I'd be more comfortable with her owning her sexuality, whether that meant she waited until marriage or enjoyed free love with whatever guy stroked her fancy, than her subduing herself for society's whims and expectations. 

(I'm not trying to participate in a pile-on or make the OP feel bad -- I'm just trying to offer another POV). 

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3 hours ago, polecat said:

As for "giving it away," sometimes you WANT to "give it away" easily. It's mine to give away to whoever I want whenever I want. That was my first and, perhaps only real, rebellion as a young woman leaving the fundy world. Reclaiming my body was HUGE, and "giving it away" was a powerful act for me. I realize that's a loaded issue for a lot of people, but free sexual expression doesn't make a woman less valuable or less worthy than a woman who plays "hard to get."

I wish I could like this post more than once.

One of my sisters in law has a daughter in her twenties.   She wasn't allowed to date as a teen (fundie lites), but now has her first boyfriend.  Her parents are "allowing" her to date, and have reluctantly said they will trust her not to do anything that doesn't line up with their values.  

That's right.  She's in her twenties and is tasked with living her own life according to her parents' values.  Presumably they will attempt to revoke her dating privileges if she doesn't abide by their standards.  I was so appalled when I heard about it...I just...ughhh.  It makes me so mad that they think they have that right.

To top it off, they insisted she go through College Minus instead of regular community college, and as predicted, the results have been less than stellar.  She wants to move out, but currently doesn't have the earning potential to do so.  

Meanwhile she's stuck watching cousins/friends who've completed their schooling and are now off getting jobs/starting lives on their own terms.  It's awful.

 

 

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@polecat, my parents didn't start out fundie, but they did adopt many fundie teachings the longer they homeschooled - and one of their big areas of concern was purity and modesty.  I wasn't allowed to date and my clothing was policed to the extreme.  My biggest rebellion as a teenager was sneaking out at night and having sex with my very secret 19 year old boyfriend.  It is not something I have ever regretted.  I did wish I had learned about safe sex earlier, but I got very lucky - no pregnancy and no STD's.  And it really was a reclaiming my body moment.  Even though I knew nothing of consent at the time, I made the very concious decision of when and where to have sex - and it was liberating and empowering, as a young women who was not allowed to make any choices really about anything.  

Anyways, a resounding YES! to your whole post!  

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On July 23, 2016 at 10:36 PM, Pammy said:

This just doesnt sit right with me. Self respect is a big deal, but lots of people respect themselves: including people who show a lot of leg, people who do enjoy sex and want to be flirted with, and people whose grandmothers worked at Hooters.

And besides those people, lots of people know how to dress for a job interview or a grandmother visit, and respect themselves in their everyday (less conservative) clothes just as much as they do when they are dressing with a specific context in mind.

My clothes today are house clothes, and I would change for various occasions. My self respect doesn't fluctuate just because I know that my couch doesn't care that these shorts make me look fat (and are covered in cat fur). Neither does someone else's self respect become excessively low if she doesn't always dress with an audience of grandmothers in mind.

THANK YOU! The whole modesty = self-respect thing has always made me squirm and I have never been able to put the reason in to words. You did here.

And modesty and dressing appropriately for an occasion are two different things. Also, just because someone is not dressed appropriately, it does not give us permission to treat them badly or make assumptions about them. Especially assumptions about their sexual choices. 

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Today in Lori's world, she proposes that...

- After a hard day's work, a man deserves football, but a woman deserves a few more hours of work.

- If a woman is snarky with a man he is 'provoked' and his unkind response is justified. If a man ignores his family's needs in favour of his own recreation, no 'provoking' has occurred.

- Men's anger is manly. Women's anger is childish. It matters whether women look pretty when they are angry.

- Women should politely request that fathers might parent their own children 'during commercials'. Men should fundamentally expect (without requesting) that women parent their children 24 hours a day without needing assistance of any kind.

- When men leave women alone with their children it's a normal weekday. When women leave men alone with their children it's a sin and a catastrophe.

- If a man aknowledges that parenting is hard, he's right and shouldn't be expected to do it. When a woman aknowledges that parenting is hard, she's complaining and should remove the sin from her heart so she can work harder.

And, finally:

- When a woman comes to respect a man she loves, she has finally given in to the truth of the universe. When a man comes to respect a woman he loves, it's because she a sinner and a selfish shrew.

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6 minutes ago, Pammy said:

Today in Lori's world, she proposes that...

- After a hard day's work, a man deserves football, but a woman deserves a few more hours of work.

- If a woman is snarky with a man he is 'provoked' and his unkind response is justified. If a man ignores his family's needs in favour of his own recreation, no 'provoking' has occurred.

- Men's anger is manly. Women's anger is childish. It matters whether women look pretty when they are angry.

- Women should politely request that fathers might parent their own children 'during commercials'. Men should fundamentally expect (without requesting) that women parent their children 24 hours a day without needing assistance of any kind.

- When men leave women alone with their children it's a normal weekday. When women leave men alone with their children it's a sin and a catastrophe.

- If a man aknowledge a that parenting is hard, he's right and shouldn't be expected to do it. When a woman's knowledges that parenting is hard, she's complaining and should remove the sin from her heart so she can work harder.

And, finally:

- When a woman comes torespecta man, she has finally given in to the truth of the universe. When a man comes to respect a woman, it's because she a sinner and a selfish shrew.

 

Great summary.

I can understand how difficult it would be to come home after a really hard day at work to an irritable spouse, a filthy house and several screaming children (I work from home, so I'm already in the middle of all the chaos, lol). But -- at the same time -- this is YOUR spouse, YOUR house and YOUR children. You'd think, if nothing else, you'd be happy to have the time to reconnect with your kids. Sit down and play with them so that you can get your dinner a bit faster. If your spouse cooks, that is, otherwise get your butt in the kitchen and start cooking so that your spouse can settle the kids. After dinner, everyone can ptich in to straighten up the house. Many hands, light work and all that. Then you and your spouse can cuddle on the couch and watch the game or your favorite show because it's been DVRd. Sounds much easier and more pleasant, right? 

I get so frustrated with Lorken sometimes because they make marriage SO DARN HARD. Wife does all the heavy lifting while husband is basically made out to be a lazy sloth. Yeah, he goes to work to support the family, but that is his sole responsibility. Meanwhile, wife is supposed to rear the children, home school the children, cook, clean and do everything else while appeasing her lord and master AND having sex on demand AND being pretty and sexy constantly (but modest outside the house) WITH a perfect attitude at all times. It's exhausting, pointless and makes for so much resentment (which must be stuffed down in the interest of keeping sweet). And if husband does anything inappropriate? Can't say a word against it. Sounds like a shit deal to me. And no, I don't buy for a second that's "God's plan." How stupid.

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It never ceases to amaze me how over the top rude and nasty she is to her readers.

Reader:

Quote

 I cannot imagine a marriage where I bottle up everything and slowly die inside, compromising my happiness to make my husband happy. In a marriage we're suppose to work toward making each other happy without sacrificing our own happiness. 
I've always said we have a Notebook type of love.

Lori...you know...the Lori who claims she is soft, feminine, and kind because she allows others to have the last word.  Yeah, her:

Quote

This is not love you are talking about, Heather, but some type of make believe "happiness." "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Cor. 13)

And then there's this:

free gag.jpg

"Women who give sex away for free are foolish women."  

Way to reduce it to a business transaction Lori.  Is that what you recommend? Seeing who'll "pay" the most for you to "give them sex"?  Gross.  Just so gross.

But I guess that's how she sees her marriage.  Ken gets sex, she gets money.  

No thanks.  I think I'll pass on that.  

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Lori is a joy sucker. I hope she is as miserable as she thinks every other woman should be.

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I see that today, being a SAHM is easy compared to her husband's job.

Tomorrow, however, being a SAHM is so time-consuming that even a part-time job is wrong.

The day after that, a SAHM has an easy job because of all the modern appliances (made by men).

By the weekend, a SAHM needs to be home 24/7 to do all her work properly.

As we move into August, a woman will be "weak" "feminine" and "in need of protection"

However, shortly thereafter, a woman is tough enough to work a full-day and then keep working, because poor hubby is "tired".

The next day, women's delicate nature requires the easier job of being home  (while hubby  is tough enough for harsh encounters in the real world).

Which is it, Lori?

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50 minutes ago, Koala said:

It never ceases to amaze me how over the top rude and nasty she is to her readers.

Reader:

Lori...you know...the Lori who claims she is soft, feminine, and kind because she allows others to have the last word.  Yeah, her:

And then there's this:

free gag.jpg

"Women who give sex away for free are foolish women."  

Way to reduce it to a business transaction Lori.  Is that what you recommend? Seeing who'll "pay" the most for you to "give them sex"?  Gross.  Just so gross.

But I guess that's how she sees her marriage.  Ken gets sex, she gets money.  

No thanks.  I think I'll pass on that.  

 

Lori calls her reader a prostitute because the reader happens to be a naturally loud person.

 

But the reader isn't the one who is having sex for money.

 

 

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5 hours ago, Koala said:

free gag.jpg

 

Oh shit. So when I was living together with my boyfriend and we weren't having sex because I was waiting, I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING SEX???

I need to let him know. 

 

Also, if I read about what she thinks marriage is, I would just be a single mom. Why would I ALSO want to take care of a grown up infant who doesn't help? No thanks. I'd rather get knocked up and cut out the useless part.

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Yeah, my husband and I lived together for a year before marriage, even slept in the same bed--and somehow still managed to wait.

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