Duggars by the Dozenty!!11!- Part 21: As many threads as Duggars

[samurai_sarah]

Carry on from here:

Last post in the old thread:

Quote

Percy wrote:

I constantly say to my girls that I am not their best friend, I am their mother.  Now that they are adults things are changing, but I never expect to be their best friend, they have best friends.  

I expect the relationship will constantly evolve as life takes us on our way and there may be a time in the future that they may need to take on the adult role as physical and mental health declines.

 

[ksgranola1]

My daughter & I have sortof switched roles. She takes care of me, now. And we look after her boy; my sweet grandchild.

[VixenToast]

I love my mother but we can be friends, not best friends.

 

When my five year old gets mad that he can't have his own way, he will often exclaim that he doesn't like me, which I respond to with:  That's ok, I'm your mother. I'm not here for you to like, I'm here to raise you!

parents and teachers should not try to be children's friends. Children should respect authority figures, but said authorities should also not abuse their power, of course.  But my kid is five, let's see how my point of view may change in 10 years.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

When I took care of other people's children (babysitting, daycare), some of the kids would try out the line, "I don't like you", or even "I hate you!"; usually when they were around 2 years old. My standard response was, "That's okay. I still like (or love) you." A few of them looked really surprised, like no adult had said something like that to them before. It was a lot easier to say to someone else's child than when I got to say it to my own kids when they went through that phase! 

But, I guess that's part of being the adult in the relationship. I'm the mom. I love them even when I don't like how they're acting or maybe for right then I just don't like them. I'm their mom first, then their playmate. Maybe we can be closer to friends when they're adults. I guess I agree with everyone who said that a good parent/child relationship can be more than a friendship.

I'm lucky enough to enjoy spending time with my mom, but it is a bigger relationship than a friendship. The same with my sister, or my husband. It's just bigger.

[MoonFace]

[CorruptionInc.]

There are definitely a few people who I can think of who have broken that commandment. ^^^^

*Cough* Ben *Cough* Jessa *Cough* Jill *Cough* Derick.

[busdrivingmom]

My kids and I are not best friends.  We have a close relationship (they share quite a lot with me, some I didn't need to know) but I am still their mom.  There are times we can have fun, and others that rules are enforced and things needs to get done.  

I have kids when I am driving a bus tell me they hate me when I ask them to sit down or quit screaming and I tell them all I have to do is get you home safely, it does not matter if you like me or not.  

[nastyhobbitses]

On 7/4/2016 at 4:28 AM, busdrivingmom said:

My kids and I are not best friends.  We have a close relationship (they share quite a lot with me, some I didn't need to know) but I am still their mom.  There are times we can have fun, and others that rules are enforced and things needs to get done.  

I have kids when I am driving a bus tell me they hate me when I ask them to sit down or quit screaming and I tell them all I have to do is get you home safely, it does not matter if you like me or not.  

Oh god I could never be a school bus driver. Just being a middle school teacher made me want to reach up my own vag and tie my tubes myself.

[Bushes of Love]

Now I'm in my 30s my dad has turned into a best friend. But to be fair he was always a best friend when I was growing up, not in a sense of letting me do what I want but in the sense that we've always loved hanging out together. We've had an odd situation where it was just me and him when I was growing up as my mum died when I was 6 and my sister wanted to live with our grandfather. One of my favourite memories of childhood was sitting around his record played, him with a glass of rum and me with an orange juice, and he would be teaching me the finer points of Pink Floyd and Neil Young. Also when I was 18/19 years old he would get back from an evening at the pub and we would sit on the stairs (me at the top stair, him on the bottom stair), we would talk long into the night about life, the universe and everything.

My dad is ace.

[HereticHick]

Tim 'n Franicia White's kids wore "Duggar Studios" shirts on stage at a 4th of July event in Chattanooga this weekend" https://www.instagram.com/timandfranicia/

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

[gustava]

49 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

Children....lots of them.

[nst]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Tim 'n Franicia White's kids wore "Duggar Studios" shirts on stage at a 4th of July event in Chattanooga this weekend" https://www.instagram.com/timandfranicia/

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

a bunch of videos no one watches

 

[Bushes of Love]

1 hour ago, gustava said:

Children....lots of them.

For that answer I award you 1 internet.

[Queen]

My mother had a very strict upbringing so sometimes she has felt the need to be or act childish and playful, which I've always resented. It felt like I was the mother and she the child and the world was upside down. Throughout my childhood there were moments where I felt way more emotionally mature than her. But our relationship has improved since, and it's easier when we're both adults, even if I will always be 30 years younger than her. 

Parents who want to be their children's BFFs like Regina's mother in Mean Girls creep me out  a little. But nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your parents where you are both family and friends to each other. 

[CorruptionInc.]

8 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Tim 'n Franicia White's kids wore "Duggar Studios" shirts on stage at a 4th of July event in Chattanooga this weekend" https://www.instagram.com/timandfranicia/

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

 

They don't have to have Duggar studios anymore. They got their show back so the backup plan is kaput.

[GoddessOfVictory]

Moms and daughters as BFFs is what always annoyed me about Gilmore Girls.

[nastyhobbitses]

15 hours ago, Queen said:

My mother had a very strict upbringing so sometimes she has felt the need to be or act childish and playful, which I've always resented. It felt like I was the mother and she the child and the world was upside down. Throughout my childhood there were moments where I felt way more emotionally mature than her. But our relationship has improved since, and it's easier when we're both adults, even if I will always be 30 years younger than her. 

Parents who want to be their children's BFFs like Regina's mother in Mean Girls creep me out  a little. But nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your parents where you are both family and friends to each other. 

The key is boundaries. I can have very friendly, close relations with my mom, but we have clearly established that she is my mother, not my peer. Parents like Regina George's mom do not establish boundaries, and focus more on seeking validation from their children than on being a trusted authority figure and family member.

[nst]

22 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Tim 'n Franicia White's kids wore "Duggar Studios" shirts on stage at a 4th of July event in Chattanooga this weekend" https://www.instagram.com/timandfranicia/

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

so Heistheway is wearing a shirt?

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

On July 5, 2016 at 10:08 AM, HereticHick said:

Tim 'n Franicia White's kids wore "Duggar Studios" shirts on stage at a 4th of July event in Chattanooga this weekend" https://www.instagram.com/timandfranicia/

I had no idea that "Duggar Studios" was still a thing.What exactly have they produced?

They probably had an excess of shirts. So they are probably giving them away to friends. Advertising for your friends is what God would want. 

[busdrivingmom]

On 7/5/2016 at 0:59 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

Oh god I could never be a school bus driver. Just being a middle school teacher made me want to reach up my own vag and tie my tubes myself.

Most of the time, it is not horrible.  I do not have an assigned route so I fill in where I'm needed.  The high school kids are usually the best.  In the am, they are too tired to care, in the PM they just want to go home.   The junior high kids make me laugh with what they worry about.  Most special needs routes are ok, some kids want to talk about everything (I had one kid all he talked about was zombies) and anything and others the kid is in their own world.   I did have to cover one grade school for a few weeks that the kids were disrespectful and obnoxious.  My goal was getting them off the bus as quickly as I can and kept working with the school to get them in line.  

Most powerful weapon for misbehaving kids?  Pull over the bus, put on the parking brake, turn off engine and pull out a book.  

I'm also insane, I'm a Girl Scout co-leader, Boy Scout volunteer and volunteer at some events at my kids' school.  Its what keeps me from having another child.  

[Mothership]

Okay Duggars--it's time for you to do something really stupid, have another scandal break open, anything,....please.  The drift on the FJ threads is driving me crazy! 

[samira_catlover]

Well, no new news, but would like feedback on way olde stuff.  While reading the biographies of the clan, they kept talking about how musical the kids were---learning piano and violin at young ages, and how one was good enough to a concert musician (and think there was something like the girls could earn money teaching music).  Can someone with musical knowledge (Unalloyed Tin Ear over here) please give some info on just how capable the kids are in real life? (Think they were supposed to have 30 mins practice/instrument/5x a week---is this typical?)

[Mothership]

4 minutes ago, samira_catlover said:

Well, no new news, but would like feedback on way olde stuff.  While reading the biographies of the clan, they kept talking about how musical the kids were---learning piano and violin at young ages, and how one was good enough to a concert musician (and think there was something like the girls could earn money teaching music).  Can someone with musical knowledge (Unalloyed Tin Ear over here) please give some info on just how capable the kids are in real life? (Think they were supposed to have 30 mins practice/instrument/5x a week---is this typical?)

Not a musician, but if their singing in CA with Jill is any indication, they're not going to make money off their "talents".  Not sure how they all managed to practice that much each day on a limited number of harps, pianos or free space or sound proof areas. They do have a number of violins in various sizes, but I would guess only a few full size.  And even if that were the case, practice helps, but it doesn't completely replace real talent.  The bits we've seen on 19KAC in front of crowds, the kids are on track with most kids in school music programs.  That means they can read music, play along with a group and maybe even accompany a group, but in my opinion it doesn't make them concert ready. 

My kids took lessons and played well.  I have never been delusional (e.g. duggarlike) to think any would be concert musicians.

[JesSky03]

21 minutes ago, samira_catlover said:

Well, no new news, but would like feedback on way olde stuff.  While reading the biographies of the clan, they kept talking about how musical the kids were---learning piano and violin at young ages, and how one was good enough to a concert musician (and think there was something like the girls could earn money teaching music).  Can someone with musical knowledge (Unalloyed Tin Ear over here) please give some info on just how capable the kids are in real life? (Think they were supposed to have 30 mins practice/instrument/5x a week---is this typical?)

I've played the flute for 15 years now. I don't keep up with it as much as when I was in high school but it's like a riding a bike for me. Practicing by myself was more like 30 minutes 2, maybe 3 days a week. But in middle/high school I also had an hour a day (5 days a week) with the whole band and then one hour a week one on one or in a small group with the band teacher. If solo and ensemble was going on then that meant additional solo (by myself and with teacher) and group practice. Then there was "show band" which met twice a week for two hours and then the occasional competitions and football/basketball games. Sorry this got a little long but made me realize that 30 minutes a day 5 times a week really isn't that much time. So I guess to me to evaluate the Duggar's ability, I would like to know just how those 30 minutes are being spent. Is it structured time with a teacher? Is it practicing by themselves? Are they sharing that time with other kids? 

I should note, that a few kids from my high school band who were committed to daily practice did go on to play in military bands and were quite successful. 

[Natalie22]

I think it also depends what exactly they're practicing.  As I was constantly reminded by my piano teacher growing up, just playing the same piece over and over again doesn't really count (I mentally rolled my eyes a lot at this  ).  In order to properly practice, you need to work on theory, technique (scales, etc.), as well as pieces.  With technique, there are different ways to work on perfecting the sounds so everything sounds smooth and even, as well as quick.  Pieces need to be in many different styles and constantly challenging.  They have to be able to stop and break down sections they may find troubling.  I have my doubts that 1 of 19 in the middle of chaos is going to make themselves practice properly or even be told to.