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Jinger & the MetrosexualSoccerPlayerPastor (Courting 3)


SpoonfulOSugar

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I think the fact that he even joked about beer and margaritas is promising. I don't think I've ever heard a Dugger even say "beer."

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A doctrinal question to those who know more. I went down a google rabbit hole, and found a wedding blog where Jeremy was named as the best man. It talked about how they (Jeremy and his buddy, the groom) met at a Presbyterian church in NY through their mutual friend the pastor. Isn't Presbyterian pretty far from fundie? The Duggars don't seem to interact with anyone who isn't hard-core fundie - aside from cousin Amy - and frankly I think that bridge has been burned, so is this maybe promising in that he is willing to be friends with people slightly different than himself?  Or, am I totally wrong?

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1 hour ago, PickledPepper said:

I don't know about this guy. He kinda gives me the creeps. 

I kind of have a good eye, I think, for ferreting out scary predator types because I interned during law school for the federal public defender (and had to sadly work on tons of child porn cases) and I really studied these guys after my boss told me he could tell that a witness at a bail hearing was a pedophile like the defendant, based on years of experience. 

I get the vibe now and then (one of the former republican presidential candidates gives off that stench strongly to me).

I think I'm also pretty good at detecting angry violent abuser types just because I've had so many family law cases against guys like that (and with so ex clients like that as well). Nothing's foolproof but I usually do pretty well. 

 I'm not getting either of those types of vibes from this dude. 

Instead, he seems like a typical masculine jock type. 

I think the issue may be that the threat to women and children that's inherent in any male in such an extreme patriarchy, especially potential "headships", is tempered somewhat in the youthful shyness or sweetness or gawky awkwardness of some of the mates of these women. But there's no tempering of the threat at all when the potential headship is a confident, wordly, fully adult man, who has athletic ability and experience associating with a variety of people. 

And the threat may feel even more ominous and untempered due to what seems to be his fully fanatical zealotry. 

This isn't goofy Ben earnestly trying to spread the gospel but managing to appear more like an awkward little boy with a runny nose. This isn't shy and gentle Derick growing out a hippie beard and naively trying to convert the "natives".  It's also not cheerful Brandon looking and acting as much like a Mormon boy scout as one can, as he marries and develops his career. 

No this guys seems fully cooked. He's a man. Not a boy. And I suspect that's why, in the contex of their scary culture, some people are getting scary vibes from him. 

I hope it's not much more than that. 

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@amendgitan all very good points and it's definitely something to think about.

put another way, this dude didn't grow up in such a lifestyle, or if he did he had what seems to be a large sabbatical from his faith and then CHOSE to come back to it. He's not ignorant and he's not unlearned or immature. He knows what else is out there and he chose to come back and have this zeal about the religion. I could see him pulling the headship card in a way that I wouldn't be able to see Derick or Ben. But that could just be my own biases about his "type".

Very interesting.

I don't get creepy vibes from him persay, but I definitely would stay away from him just because I did the whole hyper-masculine jock zealots for Christ thing and I am WAY over it.

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I am one of the people that got a vibe from him, I still do (although it's not as bad in his Cribs parody video).  

My mom was an abusive narcissist and I will get a physical reaction when I meet someone who is similar to her. It's self preservation and I learned it a long time ago. I don't know if he's an abuser or not but if I'd met him in real life I would have very little to no personal contact with him. I'm hoping that it's just the fundie rubbing me wrong.

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2 hours ago, amendgitan said:

...clip...

No this guys seems fully cooked. He's a man. Not a boy. And I suspect that's why, in the contex of their scary culture, some people are getting scary vibes from him. 

I hope it's not much more than that. 

This is exactly why I get creepy vibes.  I think both Derrick and Bin were fanboys and basically stalked their way into the Duggar Kingdom.  If we've to believe that Jer met Jin via a "friend" knowing Bin, at least that means he wasn't actively pursuing the Duggars.  Perhaps he's grasping at straws after his failed professional sports career in order to feed his desire for attention and approval?  Maybe he truly is in love with Jin.   Time will tell.  We didn't know so much so quickly with the other two.  It will be interesting to see how much our perceptions and speculation changes once we see how TLC presents him.

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12 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Someone was commenting in the 2.0 thread about these folks having to spend the rest of their lives with the 1st person they date basically.  I know a lot of people who have done just that.  I have 2 good friends who married high school sweet hearts and are still married almost 30 years later and pretty darn happy.  I married my first love, not the 1st guy I dated, but the 1st one I fell in love with and we are still going strong at 20 years.  Though it isn't easy and you have to make it work. I will give these Fundies 1 thing they take marriage seriously. I also know a lot of people who say "well I can always get divorced if it doesn't work" Who thinks that on their wedding day? People who end up divorced. I have a friend who said that as we were zipping her into her gown, and she started cheating on her dh about 5 years in and dumped him about 15 years in when someone "better" came along. 

I had that mindset when I got married. The marriage lasted 2 and a half years. I didn't factor in how painful a divorce is and I kind of wish I took marriage a bit more serious.

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9 hours ago, OrchidBlossom said:

I don't think anyone has decided that. I think some of us (myself included) got a strange vibe from his videos and expressed concern, given a lot of factors (like the simple fact that they are fundie, but also other factors)

I automatically sense trouble when I hear "Pray Away the Gay" therapy. His father is in it, and so is he, why?

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6 hours ago, Coldwinterskies said:

What long term side effects of Gardasil are you worried about? What studies are you seeing that suggest bad effects? I just searched Pubmed for recent articles about Gardasil and I don't see anything alarming that has come out recently. 

While Gardasil is not 100% guaranteed to protect against cervical cancer, it does appear to greatly reduce the risk of cervical cancer as well as other cancers that are caused by HPV infection (anal cancer, for example). I was very happy to have the opportunity to receive Gardasil myself years ago and suffered absolutely no adverse effects from it.

I got mine at the tender age of 12 (or 13, can't quite remember). I was against getting it because it involves multiple shots over a period of time and my needle-hating self was NOT for that. Mum still made me get it. I'm thankful for it now because my sperm-donor contracted a form of HPV that gave him skin cancer (this form doesn't give reproductive cancers), but before we knew that, Mum was freaking out because she had no idea whether or not she had HPV, and is too old for Gardasil.

not really sure where I'm going with this but tl;dr: vaccinate your child! if you can, vaccinate yourself! you've no idea what will happen in the future! check the vaccine ingredients list to make sure you/your kid aren't allergic to any ingredients. 

10 hours ago, Buzzard said:

What the hell did I just read?  Its a long list of blathering about whether random people are calvinists... who the fuck cares?  Are these followers not going to listen to Amy Grant because she is/isnt?  

is the Pope a Calvinist? asking for a friend

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6 hours ago, Kaylo said:

I think the fact that he even joked about beer and margaritas is promising. I don't think I've ever heard a Dugger even say "beer."

don't be silly, what about Jilly's Root Beer Floats? THEY'VE LIKE, TOTALLY GOT THE WORD 'BEER' IN THEM. Like. Totally.

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5 hours ago, Kaylo said:

A doctrinal question to those who know more. I went down a google rabbit hole, and found a wedding blog where Jeremy was named as the best man. It talked about how they (Jeremy and his buddy, the groom) met at a Presbyterian church in NY through their mutual friend the pastor. Isn't Presbyterian pretty far from fundie? The Duggars don't seem to interact with anyone who isn't hard-core fundie - aside from cousin Amy - and frankly I think that bridge has been burned, so is this maybe promising in that he is willing to be friends with people slightly different than himself?  Or, am I totally wrong?

Presbyterians are definitely not immune from fundiedom -- the smaller Presbyterian denominations that don't ordain women, like PCA and ARP, can get pretty wacky. 

Most denominations have their own fundie splinter groups. Missouri Synod Lutherans, for example. But when most people refer to Presbyterians and Lutherans, they mean the mainline groups, PCUSA and ELCA.

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5 hours ago, Kaylo said:

A doctrinal question to those who know more. I went down a google rabbit hole, and found a wedding blog where Jeremy was named as the best man. It talked about how they (Jeremy and his buddy, the groom) met at a Presbyterian church in NY through their mutual friend the pastor. Isn't Presbyterian pretty far from fundie? The Duggars don't seem to interact with anyone who isn't hard-core fundie - aside from cousin Amy - and frankly I think that bridge has been burned, so is this maybe promising in that he is willing to be friends with people slightly different than himself?  Or, am I totally wrong?

I am a Presbyterian. We are pretty mainstream liberal Christians. We live our lives practicing the teachings of Christ. Do onto others,etc. Just recently the general assembly of our church decided it would accept gays who wish ordination. Some of the presbys got their back up & broke away from PCUSA to form their own Presbytery called the evangelical covenant. We lost our gay organist b/c of it. And to be in any way connected to evangelicals galls me to pieces.

So to answer your question, yes. MOST Presbys are pretty far fundies.

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14 minutes ago, withaj said:

Presbyterians are definitely not immune from fundiedom -- the smaller Presbyterian denominations that don't ordain women, like PCA and ARP, can get pretty wacky. 

I was raised Presbyterian (after my mom's go-round with Methodists).  Both of our Presbyterian ministers were sweet and gentle men.  The church had a very kind and welcoming vibe.  Later in life I was a bit surprised to read that other types of Presbyterian congregations were extremely conservative.  I found this with a quick google search that expands a bit on @withaj's comments: 

Quote

Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) - about 1700 congregations, an evangelical fundamentalist group that broke off from the PCUS in the 1970s mostly over women elders. Think of them as the "Southern Baptists" of Presbyterianism. However, the PCA is also Calvinistic and is also the haven of many Dominionists in the tradition of R. J. Rushdoony. In other words, this is where you find most of the really scary-crazy Presbyterians in the U.S.

Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church has about the same number of congregations as the EPC, but fewer members. It's Calvinist and very conservative. Doesn't ordain women, doesn't like gay people or legal abortion, maintains the inerrancy of the Bible.  Billy Graham grew up in this church. 

(Thanks to an unnamed commenter on a religious forum for this clarification)

 

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6 hours ago, Kaylo said:

I think the fact that he even joked about beer and margaritas is promising. I don't think I've ever heard a Dugger even say "beer."

JB once said he tasted a beer in his youth. He said he spit it out. Cue eye roll. 

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I like his house! Hey.. I'll move in if I can have margaritas by the pool every day ;)

I didn't watch any of his preaching videos, but I don't really get the creepy vibe from him. I'm just confused about what a guy like him wants with a girl like Jinger...

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Fame? Jinger is pretty, but she's sheltered. I'm sure Jeremy wants an attractive fundie wife and she meets the requirements. Plus he gets to be connected to the semi famous Duggars.

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I totally agree with the full grown man vibe and I think it comes not just from age but the fact that he has LIVED. He went out and tasted all of Satan's pleasures and has experienced the world. And lived to tell the tale ad nauseum. Joshly is the same age and besides the obvious squicky reasons for disliking him I never felt he matured.  And man boy TFDW is even more stunted. 

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The bad vibes I get from JV is douchey smug jock. I don't get abuser vibes BUT I hate that any of these guys could be abusive and their wives would be stuck. It's hard enough to leave an abusive husband when you aren't fundie.

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Idk, but just imagine Jinger as a "Spielerfrau" ("wag" according to google) among all those fake blonde top models in defrauding clothes. Wearing his jersey with a jeans skirt. No idea if she could attend a play in a stadium. They sing offensive thing there... ;-) Good thing that taking of your shirt after you score a goal is a yellow card offence. Haha!

Oh well, from what I have gathered he is no brilliant player. Maybe regional league here. (We have 1st, 2nd, 3rd and then regional ones.) Correct me if I'm wrong. I have no idea about US football, other than it is more a women sport and the men have the best national coach ever. (Klinsmann, who is from my home town and I ate a couple of times at his parents bakery!) 

 

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2 minutes ago, Gobbles said:

Idk, but just imagine Jinger as a "Spielerfrau" ("wag" according to google) among all those fake blonde top models in defrauding clothes. Wearing his jersey with a jeans skirt. No idea if she could attend a play in a stadium. They sing offensive thing there... ;-) Good thing that taking of your shirt after you score a goal is a yellow card offence. Haha!

Oh well, from what I have gathered he is no brilliant player. Maybe regional league here. (We have 1st, 2nd, 3rd and then regional ones.) Correct me if I'm wrong. I have no idea about US football, other than it is more a women sport and the men have the best national coach ever. (Klinsmann, who is from my home town and I ate a couple of times at his parents bakery!) 

 

Wouldn't matter regardless. He isn't playing currently. They could always watch on tv or go see a match in person, but I doubt it'd be an issue. Duggars have gone to games before (mostly American football I think) and it doesn't seem to have been an issue.

Professional Soccer (or football) isn't that popular here. Hubby and I have talked about trying to watch it on tv a bit in the future though - we like tying new things and expanding our horizons. We mostly only watch American Football and basketball when we watch sports - Professional Baseball is SO boring!

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15 hours ago, sockinshoe said:

So I just saw the blessed (?) news. At least he plays for a New York team? And she looks fairly happy? 

The fact that he exposes his knees professionally (and probably hangs out with some fairly jocular people) might indicate an onset of fundie liteness, which would be nice. Although, after years of saying "Oh, he's got *enter some characteristics here*. They're going fundie lite, at a minimum, for sure" without ever being correct, I won't hold my breath.

I wonder how his religiosity goes over with his team

Silly SIS, female knees are defrauding. Male knees are OK. Make a note of it. ;)

Now Jinger can quit her used car resale career and do nothing at another location. ;)

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2 minutes ago, Gobbles said:

Idk, but just imagine Jinger as a "Spielerfrau" ("wag" according to google) among all those fake blonde top models in defrauding clothes. Wearing his jersey with a jeans skirt. No idea if she could attend a play in a stadium. They sing offensive thing there... ;-) Good thing that taking of your shirt after you score a goal is a yellow card offence. Haha!

Oh well, from what I have gathered he is no brilliant player. Maybe regional league here. (We have 1st, 2nd, 3rd and then regional ones.) Correct me if I'm wrong. I have no idea about US football, other than it is more a women sport and the men have the best national coach ever. (Klinsmann, who is from my home town and I ate a couple of times at his parents bakery!) 

 

Does Spielerfrau mean the same thing as footballer's wife? If so, that is a very funny image indeed. :)

US soccer (I'm talking about the MLS) is tier or two below the big ones in Europe, probably on the same level as any national league in Europe except England, France, Germany, Spain and Italy. Although we're scrappy and usually punch above our weight in international tournaments, we don't have a ton of players who could hack it in one of the top leagues. Right now the US men's team has 3 players in the Premier League and 4 in Bundesliga.

So the league that he was playing with before being let go is very much minor league, basically a step above playing for free. I can't imagine he was making more than 40k a year. So like I said in the last thread, this whole "leaving soccer because he felt called to ministry" is really more like "Oh God I lost my job and I'm not getting any more offers so I guess it's time to settle down and be a preacher."

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36 minutes ago, Gobbles said:

Idk, but just imagine Jinger as a "Spielerfrau" ("wag" according to google) among all those fake blonde top models in defrauding clothes. Wearing his jersey with a jeans skirt. No idea if she could attend a play in a stadium. They sing offensive thing there... ;-) Good thing that taking of your shirt after you score a goal is a yellow card offence. Haha!

Oh well, from what I have gathered he is no brilliant player. Maybe regional league here. (We have 1st, 2nd, 3rd and then regional ones.) Correct me if I'm wrong. I have no idea about US football, other than it is more a women sport and the men have the best national coach ever. (Klinsmann, who is from my home town and I ate a couple of times at his parents bakery!) 

 

Your post made me smile. Although the typical "Spielerfrau" isn't really the kind of woman I look up to, I would love for Jinger to live that life. And if only to see Boobs and Juterus heads explode.

I'm also from Germany and I think it's great that you went to Klinsmann's bakery.

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