Lead Singer of Every Day Sunday: I’m Gay

[DomWackTroll]

Trey Pearson is the lead singer of the very successful “alternative” Christian rock group Every Day Sunday. Married with children.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/05/31/i-never-wanted-to-be-gay-christian-musician-comes-out-in-moving-letter-to-fans/

 

[mallallory]

I hope he has enough support that all the hateful people won't matter.  His wife and dad sound like they're behind him so far. 

 

[RosyDaisy]

It took a lot of strength and courage to come out like that. I wish him the best and hope he continues his music career.

[Howl]

Wishing this guy the best.  He'll be dropped like a hot potato from Xtian radio station play lists, but sounds as though he has cross-over potential with the wider pop world.  Wonder if his band will stick with him or him with them?  Their fortunes are closely tied with his.  I suspect there were some very difficult conversations.  Kudos to his dad for supporting his son in such a beautiful way. 

[AmazonGrace]

So what would Jesus do if he happened to be gay? Would he opt to lie and pretend to everyone including his wife, or put some honesty into his life?

[ladyamylynn]

I wonder how his wife really feels about the whole thing. Good for him and all, but she sure got a raw deal.

[16strong]

35 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

I wonder how his wife really feels about the whole thing. Good for him and all, but she sure got a raw deal.

This kind of situation is hard on both parties, but let's be clear: The blame lies squarely on belief systems that lay guilt (or worse) on lgbt people. The fact that he felt he couldn't retain his faith and an honest depiction of himself is pretty horrible. Yes, it is a raw deal for his wife, but being forced to live a lie is ultimately a raw deal for everyone. Although difficult, he made the right decision.

[ladyamylynn]

Just now, 16strong said:

This kind of situation is hard on both parties, but let's be clear: The blame lies squarely on belief systems that lay guilt (or worse) on lgbt people. The fact that he felt he couldn't retain his faith and an honest depiction of himself is pretty horrible. Yes, it is a raw deal for his wife, but being forced to live a lie is ultimately a raw deal for everyone. Although difficult, he made the right decision.

Agreed, neither one of them should have been put in that situation in the first place, and conservative Christian views on homosexuality are of course to blame. Still, he gets the accolades and back pats and she gets absolutely nothing.

[DomWackTroll]

1 hour ago, ladyamylynn said:

Agreed, neither one of them should have been put in that situation in the first place, and conservative Christian views on homosexuality are of course to blame. Still, he gets the accolades and back pats and she gets absolutely nothing.

Yeah, I remember being pretty disturbed when NBA player Jason Collins came out. I saw stuff in comments sections about his fiancee, Carolyn Moos, that was like, "She's being such a bitch about it." Well, no shit. It's great that he's coming out, and of course our homophobic society is the root cause of the problem, but that doesn't change the fact that she was lied to and betrayed. She doesn't have to ask for our permission to feel lousy about it-- or to express that feeling. 

[SnazzyNazzy]

Good for him, on the coming out part. Also wishing him good luck, on the upcoming shitstorm. 

[Walking Cat Bed]

I wish peace and happiness to Trey -- AND his wife and children.

 

It's a crappy situation for everyone in that family; he's been trying to make himself straight and has been hiding who he really is from the world. She probably feels some combination of betrayed, heartbroken, and horribly confused. Even if she can support him, she's *got* to be feeling agony. And then there are the kids...

[RosyDaisy]

Woah, I completely missed the part of having a wife and kids. If actually cheated on his wife (with another man or woman) that would be inexcusable. There is no excuse for adultery.

[Kittikatz]

Wow. Good for him for coming out. Living a lie that big has to be horrible.

Kudos to his wife and father for supporting him, but I do feel awful for his wife and kids. We had a similar situation with one of my mother's cousins. He'd been married for over 30 years and was raising six kids with his wife when he realised that he couldn't live the lie any longer. Wife was shocked but was supportive of him, but some of the kids had a rough time. 

I have some friends in the gay community who also knew my cousin, and he and his exit from a fairly religious closet and transition to highly flamboyant party boy was a topic of conversation at quite a few parties. I remember being shocked by how many of the people failed to grasp why some of his kids would be having a hard time processing and accepting their new, more authentic, father.

On the other side of the gulf were the more conservative family members who couldn't grasp how cousin's wife and some of his children could possibly support him... eyeroll

This kind of situation is complicated on so many levels. I just hope that there is lots of quality counseling available for this family.

[OodOnTheLoo]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Woah, I completely missed the part of having a wife and kids. If actually cheated on his wife (with another man or woman) that would be inexcusable. There is no excuse for adultery.

I don't think anyone is saying he cheated or had relationships outside of the marriage.   It's possible but I wouldn't assume.

[mango_fandango]

I remember seeing this old Channel Four documentary once about a mum who'd been discovered as cheating on her husband with a woman. Well, I say documentary, but it was done with actors and based on a true story. I think the woman had just been confused her whole life, or didn't fully realise. Idk. The daughter was upset and angry, and I totally understood. Her entire life must've felt like a lie. You're supposed to be able to trust your parents- if you can't, who can you?

[Tangy Bee]

Never heard of him or his group until now. Wonder why he decided to come out ?? Admire his courage to do so. Must be a relief & burden at the same time. His wife supports him and in return he will have to help her through all this emotionally.

[bea]

From the interview I read, it sounds like he's been dealing with this for a long time and his wife was aware of it. And with the background he has, it sounds like just identifying as gay was problematic enough - acting on an attraction would be a whole other situation.

[December]

Sounds like a difficult and confusing situation for everyone involved. And one that likely would've been avoided if people weren't taught that same-sex attraction was something to suppress and hide at all costs.