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Ken Alexander thinks molestation/incest are totally normal ~ Always Learning


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Molestation is no big deal, and causes no emotional issues, according to Ken.

 

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Such molestation is rampant around the world, especially with families in close quarters where the the children come from multiple fathers. Where I grew up my friends would ask me if I molested my sisters, because for them it was common place with the older sister often molesting the younger brother, etc. 

As far as I know, none of these kids had psychological, guilt or emotional issues that came from the touching of each other, which to me meant that it is really how the person processes the sin committed against them that mattered most as to how they would react as adults. They saw this type of behavior as normal and common place, and we in the US are so opposed to it that the child who has this happen to them feels much more violated than one who knows it is happening to almost everyone in their home. 

 

I think I'll post the rest, as well.  Here it is. By "garbage," he means people getting upset or feeling injured when they are molested. They are just processing it wrong.

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Sorry for exposing this garbage to the light, but really it is in how one processes the sins against them that becomes the issue. If they can, as you did, recognize it for what it was, and yet not let it rule their lives and emotions, the impact of the sin can be mitigated by not allowing it to grab a hold and create a stronghold. 

Satan is looking for any little sin to bury deep inside us and then build a self-protection barrier of hurt and pain so that no one can discover it or alleviate it. When we dwell on our own sins and those committed against us it is here that the stronghold takes hold. But when we toss these sins outs as childish things, especially when teens are doing bit, and hate the sin, but choose not to play the victim all of life, we can and will lead healthy lives.

 

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What the hell was going on in his family and neighborhood where molesting was a common thing?! 

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Just now, formergothardite said:

What the hell was going on in his family and neighborhood where molesting was a common thing?! 

I am actually speechless that anyone would think (much less write on the internet) that molestation happens all the time and it's no big deal unless you make it a big deal.

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6 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Molestation is no big deal, and causes no emotional issues, according to Ken.

 

 

And just in case Kevin's reply to Ken gets zapped:

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I don't know anyone who thinks that brothers and sisters molesting each other is "normal" and "common place". How do you know this is "rampant around the world?" A source here would be nice, since this seems an utterly bizarre statement to make. There is a difference between "playing doctor" and being curious about our differences and an older brother molesting younger sisters when he knows better! This is disgusting to me! I hope you are right that none of these kids had psychological issues, but how do you know? I hope these poor children received the mental help they need!

 

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That is...ummm....excuse me, I need to go throw up now.

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Fuck that noise, Ken. I put up some boundaries in my personal life. Boundaries or "self-protection barriers", are not sin. If people are still processing the pain that another person has inflicted upon them, then it is not sin. It can take a LONG time to heal, don't you dare fucking judge how long it takes how long, Ken or Lori. 

GODDDAMMIT.

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Oh, but wait--Ken has now replied to Kevin. I'm beginning to think he enjoys discussing this topic a little too much (ugh, that made me a little sick to even type out). Please note: Trigger Warning--I don't know how to actually hide this behind a spoiler for those who might not want to read this for reasons. :embarrassed: So please scroll fast if you'd rather not. 

 

 

 

 

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I am sorry if I brought too much reality to this subject, but my intent was to simply say that it is how one views and deals with their past sexual relationships that makes them feel shamed or the victim, not so much what actually happened. 

In many cultures there can be things done sexually between children that would cross the line for our once Christianized culture. I fear that as time goes on we are finding our own culture running headlong backwards into the heathenism of our past. Take for instance sex that was strongly forbidden before marriage and now is commonplace in the high schools and even happening in Junior High and younger. Sex Ed only pushes kids to want to explore more because the teacher rarely defines the behavior as wrong. 

Even psychology now wants to label what is or is not sexual abuse, or molestation verse "sexual exploration" by defining the latter as natural and not of any concern when two children of equal stature play doctor, or house, verses a child of 14 exploring a nine year old siblings body. It is the age difference and the potential for power or coercion that can and does create the difference between what is considered abuse, or unhealthy but not abusive molestation. I do think that psychology draws the line at sexual intercourse even if it consensual with under aged kids, but it sees as "normal" or non-threatening almost anything that is consensual between same aged kids. 

The fact is that even two 12 years olds cannot consent to play sex, or play doctor as they should be under the protection of their parents and the umbrella of "right and wrong." Do any research at all on the Internet into global sex abuse on children and you will see it is rampant and the highest percentage is sibling on sibling "sexual exploration." 

My point is not to say this behavior should be considered normal, but that they saw it this way because they understood it was happening not just in their home, but their friend's homes. I do not know the degree or frequency to which it happened, but my friends seemed quite surprised that we as a family did not do such things. 

We too often have a Westernized and somewhat sanitized view of things when the reality is that unless a parent is ever watchful and somewhat protective, kids will play with each other and get into trouble. No one seems to pay much attention when two 12 year olds play doctor, and generally there are no lasting emotional scars from the experience so long as it was consensual and no coercion or power play involved. 

My point is that it seems the coercion and forcing it upon another child which seems to create the longer term emotional harm, not necessarily the acts themselves. If one does not feel violated, they may have been violated, but don't see it as an issue.

 

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I do not condone violence but if that bastard was standing in front of me right now I would smack 7 shades of shit out of him. Fuck you Ken Alexander, you and your wife better get used to some heat cause where you are going in the next life will be mighty hot! I hope you rot in hell for all eternity.

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Ken is straight up condoning molestation and incest. He is one sick mother fucking monster. So is Lori. I hope they both bun in Hell!

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1 hour ago, Loveday said:

And just in case Kevin's reply to Ken gets zapped:

 

I asked him to cite his sources and how often his children molested each other and others, since he seems a-ok with it.  Yes, it's mean to do so, but I'm over his nonsense.  

Also, once I asked Lori how she gave back to the community (like Jesus), besides mentoring women through her blog. That comment never made the light of day. 

 

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Which post is it where Ken is making these comments about molestation as practically the same as playing doctor?

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11 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I asked him to cite his sources and how often his children molested each other and others, since he seems a-ok with it.  Yes, it's mean to do so, but I'm over his nonsense.  

Also, once I asked Lori how she gave back to the community (like Jesus), besides mentoring women through her blog. That comment never made the light of day. 

 

As I suspected he would, he's now deleted that entire exchange. Either  someone in his real life pointed out to him how utterly disgusting his words were, or your question made him realise he'd better get rid of the evidence quick.

No worries, though, Ken--we've saved it all for you right here. :greetings-wavingyellow:

4 minutes ago, molecule said:

Which post is it where Ken is making these comments about molestation as practically the same as playing doctor?

They were in the Thursday May 19 post, but they're gone now. The whole thing is here, though, a few posts above. ^^^

(well, on the previous page!)

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2 minutes ago, Loveday said:

 

They were in the Thursday May 19 post, but they're gone now. The whole thing is here, though, a few posts above. ^^^

Thanks. That's the post where I was looking, and I figured I would check before digging around through other posts. I would love to think that Lori took him to task on his comments, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

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I noticed he never said he didn't molest his sisters. And it seems like hey all discussed molesting thier sisters.......

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I think Ken just literally makes crap up and then is so arrogant that he believes it must be right.  Never mind that someone else is a psychiatrist, a researcher, a theologian or any other kind of expert--their combined knowledge and experience pales in comparison to whatever Ken pulls out of his ass.  And don't bother to ask people who HAVE ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED something how it affected them---what do they know? Only Ken knows exactly how they  should feel, and if they don't---well, they are just wrong.  

Even so, for him to say that people who have ongoing issues after being molested by a sibling simply have a bad attitude---that's a whole new level of heartless and idiotic. He honestly managed to surprise me this time. And for the record, I do not believe that everyone he knew growing up thought incest was no biggie and sat around discussing it. Nope, nope, nope!

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Okay, I am SEVERELY of the opinion that Ken has some very nasty skeletons in his closet. Whether they are from his family of origin or the House of Klorien, something is very wrong with this family, in my opinion. His continued dismissal and minimizing of molestation - beginning with Josh Duggar, leading to this very disturbing chain of comments - is raising a gazillion red flags.  

Also, one example he gave was of an older sister molesting a young boy??  What the...? Of course that could happen but I find it odd that he placed the female in the role of perpetrator. He could not resist using an illustration in which the girl was the evil one. 

Finally, did God himself anoint Ken the Holy Validator of Feelings?  Why does he get to determine what feelings are valid?  When he stormed in here like an overwrought toddler, demanding we cease our Goggle Tactics, he sure thought those feelings were valid; the spineless ninny. 

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Here's what i think happened: Ken is "mentoring" a couple where the wife was molested as a child by an older sibling. As a result, quite understandably, she has difficulties being intimate with her partner. To Ken, who admitted sex was "sacred", this is unacceptable. He couldn't imagine being in such a position. The wife's "excuse" must be dismissed somehow. So he has decided that molestation among children happens all the time, and is no big deal, so the wife's feelings are invalid, she needs to put these "satanic" feelings aside and --bingo! -- and the husband gets to have sex.

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1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Here's what i think happened: Ken is "mentoring" a couple where the wife was molested as a child by an older sibling. As a result, quite understandably, she has difficulties being intimate with her partner. To Ken, who admitted sex was "sacred", this is unacceptable. He couldn't imagine being in such a position. The wife's "excuse" must be dismissed somehow. So he has decided that molestation among children happens all the time, and is no big deal, so the wife's feelings are invalid, she needs to put these "satanic" feelings aside and --bingo! -- and the husband gets to have sex.

But weekly basketball games are also sacred! Does that mean that basketball with his boys is as good as sex? 

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2 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Okay, I am SEVERELY of the opinion that Ken has some very nasty skeletons in his closet. Whether they are from his family of origin or the House of Klorien, something is very wrong with this family, in my opinion. His continued dismissal and minimizing of molestation - beginning with Josh Duggar, leading to this very disturbing chain of comments - is raising a gazillion red flags.  

Also, one example he gave was of an older sister molesting a young boy??  What the...? Of course that could happen but I find it odd that he placed the female in the role of perpetrator. He could not resist using an illustration in which the girl was the evil one. 

Finally, did God himself anoint Ken the Holy Validator of Feelings?  Why does he get to determine what feelings are valid?  When he stormed in here like an overwrought toddler, demanding we cease our Goggle Tactics, he sure thought those feelings were valid; the spineless ninny. 

I also think Ken has skeletons in the closet. Lori and Ken's defense of Josh Duggar was disturbing coming from both of them. What pissed me about Lori was that prior to Joshgate, Lori did two different blog posts about being against sleepovers due to possible molestation by males in the home. IIRC, she and Ken brushed off Josh's molestation of the babysitter who slept over. Lori and some of her fangirls tried to brush off the molestation of the sisters as Josh being a a curious teenager.

From what I remember of Ken's family of origin, his father was a ministier/missionary and his mother died and then the father later remarried. Lori describes Ken's stepmother as being a "servant" to Ken's father. A part of me wonders if the father was abusive either emotionally or physically to his wives and that may have damaged Ken. Ken said in a blog comment that he was against or didn't like domestic violence shelters. Also we can't forget that post where Ken said men should grab their wives by the wrists. I vaguely recall Lori mentioning a sibling of Ken's. I also think Lori's family of origin may have skeletons in their closet. Whenever she trashed her parents in blog posts, it seemed that she hinted that there was more to the problems that her mom and dad had.

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

Here's what i think happened: Ken is "mentoring" a couple where the wife was molested as a child by an older sibling. As a result, quite understandably, she has difficulties being intimate with her partner. To Ken, who admitted sex was "sacred", this is unacceptable. He couldn't imagine being in such a position. The wife's "excuse" must be dismissed somehow. So he has decided that molestation among children happens all the time, and is no big deal, so the wife's feelings are invalid, she needs to put these "satanic" feelings aside and --bingo! -- and the husband gets to have sex.

This theory is good and it could also fit with the shitty advice Lori has given to women. She has done blog posts saying that the women should never refuse sex to their husbands. When it comes down to it Ken and Lori should not be "mentoring" or "counseling" anyone. I really hope that they aren't tragic results from people taking their shitty ass advice.

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35 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

This theory is good and it could also fit with the shitty advice Lori has given to women. She has done blog posts saying that the women should never refuse sex to their husbands. When it comes down to it Ken and Lori should not be "mentoring" or "counseling" anyone. I really hope that they aren't tragic results from people taking their shitty ass advice.

This is actually a fairly common teaching in the Titus2 world. Where does it originate? Anybody know? Did it first come from the Pearls, or someone else? I haven't read that much of the Pearls' writing, just a scrap here or there, so I don't know for sure if they teach this in so many words. I *do* remember reading that horrible honeymoon account, though. Why she didn't up and leave him then and there, or at least the minute they got back to civilization, is beyond me.

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I think that "Holy Validator of Feelings of the House of Klorien" should be a post count @Happy Atheist (why I can't tag?). Or a role in GoT, the perfect place for a bigot, misogynist, child molesting apologist and racist too (cause ya know in Western Christian society no molestation of children, it's the Others who corrupt us).

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12 hours ago, Loveday said:
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In many cultures there can be things done sexually between children that would cross the line for our once Christianized culture. I fear that as time goes on we are finding our own culture running headlong backwards into the heathenism of our past.

 

Ken's racist soul. Western Christian society is soooo much better Josh Duggar included than other cultures. 

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Ken's obsession with dominating women, along with his repeated defence of molestation is raising way too many red flags for me. I don't know if it's him, a family member or a friend, but in my opinion Ken is justifying someone's actions! If I knew him personally I wouldn't have to think twice about keeping my daughter/granddaughter well away!

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No way Ken Alexander would be around any of my children.It is not normal to downplay abuse as much as he does. 

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