Modest mom blog

[Grimalkin]

On May 26, 2016 at 11:33 AM, Petrel said:

I am afraid I carelessly abused my femininity by vacuuming in sock feet this morning.    What can I do to repair it?

        You must repent by wearing a corset and hoop skirt! 

      I swept my floors barefoot!

[JMarie]

20 hours ago, Mercer said:

 

 

Not by feeding the hungry, tending the sick, caring for the elderly, lifting the poor out of their poverty, safeguarding the environment, or fighting for justice for the abused?

Nope, society will really be enriched by ladies with plenty of disposable income playing dress up and enjoying their undemanding leisure activities. 

If mid-20th-century socialite is your aesthetic preference, by all means, you do you. Wear whatever makes you feel happy and confident. Your taste is just your taste, though, not some sort of objective moral standard that everyone should be held to.

 

 

...Someone desperately needs a hobby.

With bon mots like these, I really don't see her having a lot of friends that are even remotely close to her age.

[Grimalkin]

On May 26, 2016 at 6:11 PM, Mercer said:

 

 

Not by feeding the hungry, tending the sick, caring for the elderly, lifting the poor out of their poverty, safeguarding the environment, or fighting for justice for the abused?

Nope, society will really be enriched by ladies with plenty of disposable income playing dress up and enjoying their undemanding leisure activities. 

If mid-20th-century socialite is your aesthetic preference, by all means, you do you. Wear whatever makes you feel happy and confident. Your taste is just your taste, though, not some sort of objective moral standard that everyone should be held to.

 

 

...Someone desperately needs a hobby.

        I meant to say -"this is 100% on point" and my argument to pretty much all Christians that focus on ly on Proverbs 31, or stupid anti gay crap.

        I'm not botherd by her devoting her blog to the art of feminity so much. It's one thing to discuss  fashion and beauty and art, another to bash everything else while doing it. she can't just discuss wearing a beautiful put together outfit and how it makes her feel, she has to include garbage like while other women wear yoga pants and gym shoes I wear elegant skirts and pearls because you are not as evolved as me!

        Has she never seen Modcloth? They make a killing off of selling pretty feminine retro dresses because they are popular. It's not a new concept.

[PsyD2013]

More crazy from the Catholic Lady: "Widespread divorce and immorality is a result of feminism and women lowering their standards."

No Crazy Catholic Lady, many of us got divorce because we realized that we deserved better than the abuse we were living with. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, PsyD2013 said:

More crazy from the Catholic Lady: "Widespread divorce and immorality is a result of feminism and women lowering their standards."

No Crazy Catholic Lady, many of us got divorce because we realized that we deserved better than the abuse we were living with. 

Bolded for truth.  Thanks for saying this because I think there is still very much a culture of guilt and shame associated with divorce which is all too pervasive.

Intellectually I know my divorce was absolutely the best thing for my kids and myself....and I do believe things don't have to be forever to be important.  My kids were born into a marriage with love...but it wasn't healthy for any of us and I would have been a horrible mother if I'd stayed.

Leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do - hands down.  I still have guilt for the pain that caused him and the kids...I have shame that I couldn't make it work.  I couldn't love him enough to force things into a healthy relationship.  It's the biggest failure of my life.

I remarried a wonderful man whose been an amazing father to my kids...but still have guilt that I failed the first time.  It's not logical and for me it's not coming from others...it's something I've internalized.  The only person who shames me about the divorce is my ex and I don't give his opinion a whole lot of weight since he also blames his feelings for me on causing his second divorce so...yeah.

Anyway - it's hard enough when you truly believe the one time marriage forever thing - I wanted that more than anything.  Having people like her spouting this shit doesn't help.

Staying would have been easier.  Financially,  socially, logistically...much easier.  I'm sure I speak for a lot of women who left not because it was easy...but because it was necessary.  

Those longing for the good old days before feminism (?) aren't thinking of how many lives of spouses and children were more painful than they should have been because some saw no way out.  They want to recreate what never existed.

ETA after the divorce my ex went fundy-lite (some flavor) and has repeatedly reminded me that because I was the one who left him he was free to remarry but my entire second marriage is adultery because in the eyes of God I'm still married to him.  And when we die he's convinced we'll be married again in Heaven.  To each other.

I thought Heaven was supposed to be everlasting happiness?  No pain?  No anger?  No suffering?  Well which is it?  Because if his whackado idea is correct I'm in for a eternal life of wishing I'd developed a taste for brimstone...because if Heaven is peaceful now it won't be once we get back together.

Anyway - weirdness.  We were both Catholics when we married but after his was born again or whatnot tried to forbid me to send the kids to CCD because I was preparing them for hell.  Or something.  

'See them more than one weekend once every 2 years if you want me to even let you finish that sentence jackass' was my response to that.  

 

 

[December]

1 hour ago, PsyD2013 said:

More crazy from the Catholic Lady: "Widespread divorce and immorality is a result of feminism and women lowering their standards."

No Crazy Catholic Lady, many of us got divorce because we realized that we deserved better than the abuse we were living with. 

It's just a laughably poor argument. The divorce rate in the US peaked in the early 1980s, which is shortly after it became much easier to obtain a divorce in many states. Not to mention that spike right after WWII, which I think most people still consider the to be part of the "good old days."  

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/ 

I'd agree that by not staying in unhappy and/or abusive marriages, to the detriment of their relationships and any children, women (and men) have raised their standards! 

[ADoyle90815]

19 minutes ago, December said:

It's just a laughably poor argument. The divorce rate in the US peaked in the early 1980s, which is shortly after it became much easier to obtain a divorce in many states. Not to mention that spike right after WWII, which I think most people still consider the to be part of the "good old days."  

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/ 

I'd agree that by not staying in unhappy and/or abusive marriages, to the detriment of their relationships and any children, women (and men) have raised their standards! 

I also say that women and men have realized that they don't have to stay in an abusive marriage or even an unhappy one, especially if they have children. I know that in my case, divorcing my abusive ex-husband was the hardest thing I did, and the best thing in the end, since we didn't have children so I was able to completely cut him out of my life permanently.

[Taters]

On 26 May 2016 at 11:50 PM, TheDuggarnaut said:

The Catholic lady has me curious, though, because I had lots of Catholic friends growing up and even went to mass with them, but they were nothing like this looney and her commenters. Is there some bizarre offshoot of Catholicism that I don't know about? 

She is a "trad" - traditional Catholic - or at least a very conservative one. She would just call herself a Catholic. There are a couple of forums, such as Fisheaters, for "trads".

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 5/27/2016 at 9:35 AM, Mercer said:

Exactly. I dress quite modestly because I feel comfortable that way, but it doesn't make me better than someone who feels comfortable with more skin showing. Clothing is just a covering, not an indication of our inner morality.

Exactly.  It's like they think everyone who doesn't consciously join some modest dress movement is running around challenging obscenity laws with hot pants and tube tops.

I dress modestly because I'm comfortable not having to worry about what's about to ride up or fall out...and because what is flattering on me is not hot pants and tube tops.  But I don't live in fear that if I leave my house in a pair of shorts I'm going to cause a tsunami of sinful thoughts.  It would be awesome if that were the case, but I can live knowing it's not.

Making sure my entire ass is covered isn't a statement of belief...it's my gift to myself and the world....you're welcome.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, Taters said:

She is a "trad" - traditional Catholic - or at least a very conservative one. She would just call herself a Catholic. There are a couple of forums, such as Fisheaters, for "trads".

Yep.  Speaking as a lapsed Catholic who is acquainted with more than a fair few other Catholics of varying degrees of piety I've never met anyone like this.  

I'm of the bitching about lent variety...and unless they open a Long John Silvers near my house and I want to gain 1000 lbs I'm not extending fish on Fridays.  (although for a totally horrible for you heart attack on a plate thing...now I want LJS.)

This is the modern day version of the old lunatic monks who would wear the hair-shirts and flagellate themselves walking through the streets.  I can't tolerate a wayward tag in a shirt or if the stitching on my sock slips under my toe...self inflicted suffering makes no sense to me.  And heels while vacuuming is right up there with blood letting for me.

Honestly - it's just the holier than thou thing and these people are no closer to your average Catholic than a Duggar/Bates is to your average run of the mill Christian.  And I have no doubt they'd love to go around removing the mark of baptism for those of us who choose to sacrifice attending mass just so we can leave the parking spaces open for others*.  I bet they are looking for a loop hole for the indelible part now.

*I'm a giver - always putting others above myself even if it means I have to stay home on Sunday mornings eating pancakes in my jammies.  I'm waiting for the call about my canonization any day now.

[Taters]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Yep.  Speaking as a lapsed Catholic who is acquainted with more than a fair few other Catholics of varying degrees of piety I've never met anyone like this.  

There are quite a few in France and elsewhere in Europe - although still a small minority of the Catholic population.

[mallallory]

Quote

 I plan to teach my little girl to accept the help of gentlemen.  I want her to appreciate chivalry in all its finery of virtue.  I want her to let men open doors for her and desire men to fight for her.  Real ladies inspire chivalry and I want my daughter to learn how!  Hopefully this will help her in a future courtship!  A lady should also know the difference between a gentleman and crass attention.

No.  Your daughter should not want men to fight over her.  She's a person, not a trophy.

Catholic courtship?  What is this going to entail?  How godly he was during confirmation classes, never drinking extra communion wine as an altar server, being able to extrapolate on that day's gospel and homily?  

I  do agree with her that women of all ages (whether or not they self identify as ladies) should be able to tell the difference between gentlemen and crass attention, but I bet our reasons for it are different.  Like knowing when to tell the creeper at the bar to eff off. The Catholic Lady^TM probably doesn't go to bars though. 

[mango_fandango]

[tm]The Catholic Lady [/tm]is one of the biggest whackadoos I have come across. And yeah, fighting over someone sounds completely non-Christian and stupid. The way this woman is going, men are going to steer clear. 

Actually, I just thought. It makes it sound like there are going to be a whole raft of guys after the daughter. Like hell many of them are going to meet TCL's standards- if any. 

[feministxtian]

There is only ONE utterly batshit Caroline allowed in this world and I AM SHE!!!

The Catholic thing...I knew some like that once upon a time during my brief flirtation with uber-Traditional Catholicism. It didn't last long, it ended about the same time the marriage did.

Now I'm a semi-heathen liberal Christian who's serious about faith but utterly opposed to bullshit rules.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 hours ago, mallallory said:

No.  Your daughter should not want men to fight over her.  She's a person, not a trophy.

Catholic courtship?  What is this going to entail?  How godly he was during confirmation classes, never drinking extra communion wine as an altar server, being able to extrapolate on that day's gospel and homily?  

I  do agree with her that women of all ages (whether or not they self identify as ladies) should be able to tell the difference between gentlemen and crass attention, but I bet our reasons for it are different.  Like knowing when to tell the creeper at the bar to eff off. The Catholic Lady^TM probably doesn't go to bars though. 

to the bolded - what a concept!  I only wish that message would get evangelized throughout these fringe groups.

[sophie10130]

58 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

to the bolded - what a concept!  I only wish that message would get evangelized throughout these fringe groups.

I want this to be broadcast everywhere! I read a lot of YA and I can't count how many of the love interests revolve around triangles-- 2 dudes fighting for one girl. It's so old. It's so boring. It's so problematic.

Also the whole "to accept the help of a gentleman" is just another way to say anti-feminist. Those damn feminists opening their own car doors and walking through puddles and carrying their own groceries! She wants her girl who be reliant on men and not be independent. And she wants to normalize men fighting over her like animals after a piece of meat. So shameful. So sad.

And don't they say courtship is the better option because women are treated like humans and not pieces of meat? Interesting.

[Georgiana]

The only two men dueling over a lady I can think of is in War and Peace.  And the duel was between her husband and (one of) her lover(s).  

So, evidently, licentious ladies can inspire these things as well.  

[19 cats and counting]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

There is only ONE utterly batshit Caroline allowed in this world and I AM SHE!!!

 

[refugee]

On 6/7/2016 at 9:13 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

ETA after the divorce my ex went fundy-lite (some flavor) and has repeatedly reminded me that because I was the one who left him he was free to remarry but my entire second marriage is adultery because in the eyes of God I'm still married to him.  And when we die he's convinced we'll be married again in Heaven.  To each other.

I thought Heaven was supposed to be everlasting happiness?  No pain?  No anger?  No suffering?  Well which is it?  Because if his whackado idea is correct I'm in for a eternal life of wishing I'd developed a taste for brimstone...because if Heaven is peaceful now it won't be once we get back together.

Well, unless he's a Mormon (and I could be wrong about Mormons, not being one), his belief is unbiblical. Jesus himself said there is no marriage in heaven.

2 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

I want this to be broadcast everywhere! I read a lot of YA and I can't count how many of the love interests revolve around triangles-- 2 dudes fighting for one girl. It's so old. It's so boring. It's so problematic.

I knew a teen who wrote fanfic -- his favorite scene to write was two females fighting over a male...

[sophie10130]

33 minutes ago, refugee said:

I knew a teen who wrote fanfic -- his favorite scene to write was two females fighting over a male...

ugh.

[Hane]

When I was a young teen in the mid-'60s, my very Catholic mom bought me a beauty/hygiene/social tips book at one of her Catholic moms' meetings. I specifically recall that the author said that getting the vapors over wearing a swimsuit in public was "false modesty" and utterly ridiculous.

This was fifty freaking years ago. Fundies, you're dragging the world backwards.

[mallallory]

24 minutes ago, Hane said:

When I was a young teen in the mid-'60s, my very Catholic mom bought me a beauty/hygiene/social tips book at one of her Catholic moms' meetings. I specifically recall that the author said that getting the vapors over wearing a swimsuit in public was "false modesty" and utterly ridiculous.

This was fifty freaking years ago. Fundies, you're dragging the world backwards.

False modesty. I love it. 

[PsyD2013]

The Catholic Lady is too Catholic even for the Vatican.  This gem from her blog.  

"Catholic NFP" is another attack on the dignity of Christian motherhood.  This drastically overused method of avoiding pregnancy has infiltrated Catholic families like a plague."  

NFP is ok'ed by the Catholic Church.  The Catholic hospital that I worked at many years ago actually had workshops teaching how NFP worked. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

Someone upthread asked what sort of Catholic is this. My personal answer is: a harebrained one.

I premise that I read only Italian "trads" blogs and fora and I don't know much about American Catholic traditionalists. Anyway the hallmarks of traditionalists are: Vatican II bad, all hail latin mass, passive aggressive bitching about pope Francis (the pope is infallible but...he is wrong), badly veiled despise for pope Benedict who is guilty of permitting to Francis to become pope, creating the Roman Catholic Rite for Mass of Anglican tradition and accepting those pastors of the CofE (most of whom are married and with children, horror!) that want to become Catholic without renouncing to their past and retainig their priesthood provided they vow to accept the Catholic Catechism. They also think all other Christian denominations are heretic and not truly Christian, ecumenism is of the devil. They believe in complementarianism but this "only" means that men and women are inherently different, a person can have sex only with a person of the opposite sex, women can't become priests, if a marriage doesn't work it's the woman's fault, no same sex parents, disciplining children is the role of the father. Women can study, work and bitch about the pope as anyone else. 

They also love rites, the Liturgy of the Hours, Novenas, the rosary, the lives of saints.

In her whole blog she barely touch any of these topics and when she does she's extremely vague and superficial. She sometimes quotes Proverbs but not the NT and it's strange because Catholics tend to put more emphasis on the NT. She links to Protestant blogs (horror the heretics!). Her whole blog is about dresses and not much more, apart when she jumps on the occasion of spouting some hate, it's all very void of contents. Imho she is just a wannabe fundie. Obsessed with "elegance" and looks and a particular lifestyle, she decided that it is the only godly way and it must be justified by God and the Catholic Church.

[sophie10130]

@laPapessaGiovanna I agree. I feel like she just uses being Catholic to uphold her extremely superficial beliefs about modesty and whatever else she decides to care about.