Bates Family Part 15 - Bumps, Births and Babies

[Tomboy]

Will do, thanks again.

[RoseWilder]

1 hour ago, picklepizzas said:

it's not really about her and what she deserves, though, is it? it's really more about what it the world makes people think they have the right, no, the MANDATE, to treat someone else poorly because they don't approve of the way they live their lives. someone's actions or beliefs do not justify abuse of them. prison guards who abuse prisoners are not "justified" in doing so if they only kick the prisoners they think of as "bad." if it's wrong to harass people on the internet, it's wrong to harass anyone on the internet, even if we don't like their life choices.  

the "comments section" is truly the deepest, darkest corner of the internet, where rules about human decency apparently need not apply.  

Abusing a prisoner and disagreeing with someone's Instagram post aren't even close to being equivalent. And posting one negative comment to someone's instagram is not harassing them. 

[Coconut Flan]

Just for info at the top right under Alyssa's post it says click here for all 252 comments.  It works when I am not logged in.  At the bottom it says log in to like or comment. 

[nelliebelle1197]

4 hours ago, just...sare said:

You know when you're scrolling past a photo, and you kind of close your eyes a second and take a breath because you just know what you're going to see? Yeah, that. My thought process was "should that baby be forward facing already? Those straps are too high.... she's going to get crucified." And she is. She did comment that she would look into having the straps moved down, but mostly she's just calling people rude. (I scrolled through the last few comments but couldn't bear to read any more).

She lets her kid roll around in a walker in a room full of mirrors. And does THAT to the poor kid's hair. I am not thinking she is the best informed on infant safety....

[Curious]

1 minute ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

She lets her kid roll around in a walker in a room full of mirrors. And does THAT to the poor kid's hair. I am not thinking she is the best informed on infant safety....

Do they even make walkers anymore?   I had one with my first kid and did crazy things like using sturdy baby gates and supervise her when she was in it.  She really preferred to bounce and I did NOT trust thing bouncy swing things that you can hang on a door frame, so she was stuck bouncing herself in her walker and not really moving it (by her choice).    When I had my second kid 4 years later, they had cool bouncy things that were like walkers, but no wheels, so I got one of those.  He hated bouncing and just wanted to be in a swing (which we also had).

They have SO many cool (and safe) things out for babies now, why take the risks.  I want to have a baby just to have the cool stuff

[nelliebelle1197]

4 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Just for info at the top right under Alyssa's post it says click here for all 252 comments.  It works when I am not logged in.  At the bottom it says log in to like or comment. 

Why are you even talking? Don't you know you are not a nice person?! I wish I had some downvotes left to further mangle your reputation. Because obviously the only people worth listening to have LOTS of reputation points. You know. On this system we have had like a whole six months???

2 minutes ago, Curious said:

Do they even make walkers anymore?   I had one with my first kid and did crazy things like using sturdy baby gates and supervise her when she was in it.  She really preferred to bounce and I did NOT trust thing bouncy swing things that you can hang on a door frame, so she was stuck bouncing herself in her walker and not really moving it (by her choice).    When I had my second kid 4 years later, they had cool bouncy things that were like walkers, but no wheels, so I got one of those.  He hated bouncing and just wanted to be in a swing (which we also had).

They have SO many cool (and safe) things out for babies now, why take the risks.  I want to have a baby just to have the cool stuff

There was a picture with Alyssa and John doing janitorial work in a dance studio with the follically tortured child in a walk scooting near mirrors! Rep. Webster needs to have a word with Alyssa about what a superficial twit she is on her social media.

[Coconut Flan]

I know it's funny isn't it?  After the day we had with people losing their minds and composure and get that for trying to help someone help themselves so they can read all the instagram comments to their heart's content.  I still need to take apart and remake a pair of Gymboree pants for granddaughter.  That was supposedly what I was to do today and not deal with online mess. 

[Fascinated]

2 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Why are you even talking? Don't you know you are not a nice person?! I wish I had some downvotes left to further mangle your reputation. Because obviously the only people worth listening to have LOTS of reputation points. You know. On this system we have had like a whole six months???

That got my goat too.  The longer one has been here, and the more posts one had before the redesign, the greater the disparity in 'reputation'. It's too bad they didn't carry over so members wouldn't come to such inane conclusions. 

[MorningMist]

At least the comments made on Alyssa's were actually about known childcare issues. It really irks me when someone drags fundies on Instagram comments for some menial thing that literally nobody has heard of before or is not common knowledge at best.

[justmy2cents]

20 minutes ago, Fascinated said:

That got my goat too.  The longer one has been here, and the more posts one had before the redesign, the greater the disparity in 'reputation'. It's too bad they didn't carry over so members wouldn't come to such inane conclusions. 

What bothered me is someone treating this as a popularity contest.  I can imagine someone in middle school taunting  "I have a greater percentage upvotes than you, nanananana!". Ridiculous.

[Fascinated]

52 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

I know it's funny isn't it?  After the day we had with people losing their minds and composure and get that for trying to help someone help themselves so they can read all the instagram comments to their heart's content.  I still need to take apart and remake a pair of Gymboree pants for granddaughter.  That was supposedly what I was to do today and not deal with online mess. 

I don't know how any of you get anything done in real life, ever.  

[just...sare]

I don't know why I'm still thinking about this, but it pisses me off how people use the argument that "well, we were never secured properly in rear-facing carseats/used walkers and we're fine." OBVIOUSLY you are fine, because the people who died in unfortunate and horrific accidents ARE NOT HERE POSTING. because they're dead. There are so many decisions that parents should get to make on their own and not have random strangers on the internet berating them for - you want to put stupid bows and ribbons and ponytails in your baby's hair? Sure. Knock yourself out. Want to give your baby the stupidest name known to god and man? Okay. I think it's stupid, but go for it. Want to debate cloth vs disposable til the cows come home? More power to you. But anything affecting the actual safety of your baby and/or someone else's baby should not be optional.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I seem to have missed something exciting....in which thread was a storm brewing?

[Curious]

47 minutes ago, just...sare said:

I don't know why I'm still thinking about this, but it pisses me off how people use the argument that "well, we were never secured properly in rear-facing carseats/used walkers and we're fine." OBVIOUSLY you are fine, because the people who died in unfortunate and horrific accidents ARE NOT HERE POSTING. because they're dead. There are so many decisions that parents should get to make on their own and not have random strangers on the internet berating them for - you want to put stupid bows and ribbons and ponytails in your baby's hair? Sure. Knock yourself out. Want to give your baby the stupidest name known to god and man? Okay. I think it's stupid, but go for it. Want to debate cloth vs disposable til the cows come home? More power to you. But anything affecting the actual safety of your baby and/or someone else's baby should not be optional.

All of this.  I grew up back in the dark ages when kids rode in the back of pick up trucks on cross country trips.   I survived doing that.   I thought it was sorta fun even before we had a topper and I was outside in winter weather buried tent like under a million blankets trying to stay warm in the bed of a pick up truck moving at highway speeds.

Would I do that with my children today (or more correctly when they were he age I was then)? NO!   Why not when I survived just fine?  Because when you KNOW better you DO better!

We didn't understand about many things in the past.  Then we learned new information and now we know better so we do things differently.

This is not to say people need to become helicopter parents.  There is a happy medium between bubble wrapping your kid so s/he gets no boo-boos EVAH and putting a baby on the seat of a car with no car seat (like they used to do in ye olden days)

[church_of_dog]

41 minutes ago, Curious said:

All of this.  I grew up back in the dark ages when kids rode in the back of pick up trucks on cross country trips.   I survived doing that.   I thought it was sorta fun even before we had a topper and I was outside in winter weather buried tent like under a million blankets trying to stay warm in the bed of a pick up truck moving at highway speeds.

Would I do that with my children today (or more correctly when they were he age I was then)? NO!   Why not when I survived just fine?  Because when you KNOW better you DO better!

We didn't understand about many things in the past.  Then we learned new information and now we know better so we do things differently.

This is not to say people need to become helicopter parents.  There is a happy medium between bubble wrapping your kid so s/he gets no boo-boos EVAH and putting a baby on the seat of a car with no car seat (like they used to do in ye olden days)

I am reminded of a story my mom told me about a car accident we were in when I was about 6 months old.  This would have been in late 1962.  I was in some kind of baby carrier-type thing, but I don't think you can call it a CAR seat because -- it didn't actually connect to the car in any way.  In fact, even though I was strapped into this carrier, the carrier was not secured via seat belt or any other method to the car.  So when Mom hit a telephone pole, I (still in my carrier) flew forward and hit the dashboard.  Mom said I had an egg-sized lump on my forehead and of course we went to the pediatrician who checked me out and said I would be ok -- I think being so young and all the bones not as rigid yet actually helped me avoid lasting injury.  Sounds horrible, but I guess that's just how it was then.  I don't even know if our cars HAD seat belts at that time (we went for old clunkers, not newer models).  Doesn't mean it should be done today, nor does it mean we were careless risktakers back then.  Things change.

[marmalade]

7 hours ago, nausicaa said:

The more I see of Alyssa as an independent adult, the more I really suspect she's just a superficial twit whose main concerns are looking good and having everyone in the family's outfits coordinate. 

Agreed. She strikes me as extremely vain. Almost Jessa Duggar Seewald levels of vain. 

[EyeQueue]

1 hour ago, church_of_dog said:

I am reminded of a story my mom told me about a car accident we were in when I was about 6 months old.  This would have been in late 1962.  I was in some kind of baby carrier-type thing, but I don't think you can call it a CAR seat because -- it didn't actually connect to the car in any way.  In fact, even though I was strapped into this carrier, the carrier was not secured via seat belt or any other method to the car.  So when Mom hit a telephone pole, I (still in my carrier) flew forward and hit the dashboard.  Mom said I had an egg-sized lump on my forehead and of course we went to the pediatrician who checked me out and said I would be ok -- I think being so young and all the bones not as rigid yet actually helped me avoid lasting injury.  Sounds horrible, but I guess that's just how it was then.  I don't even know if our cars HAD seat belts at that time (we went for old clunkers, not newer models).  Doesn't mean it should be done today, nor does it mean we were careless risktakers back then.  Things change.

I would suspect the carseat she is referring to is something like one of these:

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

ETA: Or, you might try an apple crate.

Spoiler

Safe!

[elliha]

My parents (born in 82) felt carseats were inconvenient so they didn't use them... I just cannot get why someone would not even in the 80s. Sure, the ones that they had were not as safe as the ones we have now but still, why not make at least an effort of preserving your children's lives if you can? I am very vigilant about car seats now myself. My daughter is still rearfacing at soon to be 4 which is really late in the US but about average here in Sweden. I hope to keep her rearfacing until our baby (now still inside of me) has grown out of the infant seat when she is closer to 5 and then get her a booster seat and the baby into a bigger rearfacing seat. I wish our car would allow two rearfacing seats more easily, then I would have kept her rearfacing until the seat was fully outgrown which I think for her would have been close to 6. 

I do however think there is some to learn from the past when it comes to safety. I think we have tipped too far in some areas when it comes to safety like not letting our children play outside on their own even in very safe environments, there I do think about the fact that I played in far more unsafe environments and never was or felt in danger, then I can let my daughter do the same in a much safer environment.

[Melissa1977]

4 hours ago, marmalade said:

Agreed. She strikes me as extremely vain. Almost Jessa Duggar Seewald levels of vain. 

Yes she is. And her vanity can save her. If she prioritizes to be thin and fancy dressed, maybe she will choose to have few kids.

[19 cats and counting]

As far as ALlie's hair, I think it is pretty normal for a kid her age.  The stage where a baby's hair is growing is almost like an awkward teenager stage.  My older niece looked like she had a Mohawk for awhile because her hair in the middle grew in before the sides did. 

My sister puts my nieces' hair (as much as possible) in 1 ponytail at that age.  It often comes out (to quote my mom) looking like Woody Woodpecker.  I have seen other kids around that age with hair in similar styles, so I figure it was normal.  

Anything's better than the short bob with thick bangs that I had until I was about 10.  

[formergothardite]

Alyssa grew up in a house where lip service was paid to treating children like blessings, but the parents showed little to no concern about the well being of their children. She has been raising kids since she was a child and probably thinks she knows a lot about it, but her parents never prioritized child safety, so it probably isn't something she thinks a lot about. 

10 hours ago, Curious said:

All of this.  I grew up back in the dark ages when kids rode in the back of pick up trucks on cross country trips.  

My oldest daughter saw a picture of me and my cousins crammed into the back of my grandpa's pick up truck getting ready to go to town and she was just horrified.  She couldn't understand why anyone let kids do that. She was also confused when she read an old Calvin and Hobbes book and in it there are several cartoons where Calvin gets left in the car while his mom goes shopping. That is such a foreign idea to her because no one leaves children in cars anymore. 

[nelliebelle1197]

I probably do a lot of things people would judge. I have left the kids in the car to run into a convenience store a block from my house to buy milk. I have left my kids alone for 1/2 hour to go pick up lunch for us. My kids and the neighbors run back and forth to each others' houses.

But I have good safety equipment and research everything! My kids have the proper, most safe equipment I can afford and I use it correctly.

@19 cats and counting those torture "girl" hairstyles are a pet peeve of mine. Just let the poor kid's hair hang limp. Who cares?

Whoever labeled Alyssa "superficial twit" has it DOWN!

 

[19 cats and counting]

@nelliebelle1197 my sister does it to keep the girl's hair out of her face.  Sure those giant headflowers do the same, but it's a choice of being shot or stabbed.  

Older niece (3.5) outgrew them about a year ago.  Her chosen hairstyle is a cat ear headband (chosen by yours truly).

[nelliebelle1197]

@19 cats and counting oh, I thought you meant those "Baby does not have enough hair but I am sticking it in a pigtail anyway" styles favored by Alyssa and my mother. That is different.

[19 cats and counting]

Just now, nelliebelle1197 said:

@19 cats and counting oh, I thought you meant those "Baby does not have enough hair but I am sticking it in a pigtail anyway" styles favored by Alyssa and my mother. That is different.

I guess it's better than the fake pigtails (Josie and now Meredith Duggar).  

When I was that age, my mom gave me bangs that looked like they were done with a weedwhacker.  I'll take Allie (and my nieces') hairstyles over that.