Bates Family Part 15 - Bumps, Births and Babies

[BeccaGrim]

1 minute ago, just...sare said:

You know when you're scrolling past a photo, and you kind of close your eyes a second and take a breath because you just know what you're going to see? Yeah, that. My thought process was "should that baby be forward facing already? Those straps are too high.... she's going to get crucified." And she is. She did comment that she would look into having the straps moved down, but mostly she's just calling people rude. (I scrolled through the last few comments but couldn't bear to read any more).

There are times when I think that people shouldn't be commenting on stuff, like they just want to give her a hard time. This is not one of those times.  That baby needs to be rear facing! She's too little and its dangerous.  This isn't a negotiable thing. 

[just...sare]

Just now, BeccaGrim said:

There are times when I think that people shouldn't be commenting on stuff, like they just want to give her a hard time. This is not one of those times.  That baby needs to be rear facing! She's too little and its dangerous.  This isn't a negotiable thing. 

Agreed. There's someone there who used Alyssa responding to her carseat comments as a springboard for hassling her about ATI/IBLP, and I just hope that Alyssa doesn't discount all the carseat worries as more harassment and recognizes that (most) of the commenters really are just worried about that poor baby.

[hilee]

Yeah she's under 2, and the straps are much too high. Just take it as a good learning. But I think she knows that she SHOULD rear face at least until 2, but some people state their kids are "too squished", some get car sick, some just prefer to see their kid. 

[nausicaa]

The more I see of Alyssa as an independent adult, the more I really suspect she's just a superficial twit whose main concerns are looking good and having everyone in the family's outfits coordinate. 

[MorningMist]

I've just looked at the comments and while the majority of them seem very constructive and civil, some are rude and I bet they stick out like a sore thumb to Alyssa. I can see why she's replying to them, some are really not nice. 

That being said, she doesn't seem like the type of person to take criticism well at all...

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, RoseWilder said:

I disagree with the previous posters who are telling you it's none of your business. I don't see anything wrong with what you said. She's choosing to exploit her personal life for a TV show, so people are going to have opinions about that life she's pimping out to the public. She sold her life to the highest bidder. You can't do that and expect nothing but praise. 

The only big issues I see with this topic is the fact that we:

1. Don't know what issues led to the adoption (legal or otherwise).

2. We have no clue how the adoptive family treated Whitney while she was with them or how she may have felt about the situation.

3. We don't know the exact reasons why she may have cut contact with them - we only have speculations.

For all we know the bio parents were wildly abusive and the adoptive parents were wonderful... Or maybe the bio parents and Whitney just clashed like normal families do and the adoptive family swooped in to help her and help ease the pain of losing their own daughter... Or maybe the adoptive parents were wildly abusive somehow. We honestly and truly can't know because we weren't there.

Point being - Whitney isn't talking about it publicly now. It's fine to be curious and to wonder. It's normal to do that considering that they have spoken about it briefly in the past and the fact that the schism with the adoptive parents happened after their wedding was featured on the family blog for public consumption. I get why people are curious - but Whitney should be able to celebrate Mother's Day as she sees fit.

Saying something on her account seems a bit much to me - but at least the other poster made the comment on their own without mentioning FJ. 

[RoseWilder]

@VelociRapture: I don't think public figures should get to have it both ways. Yeah Whitney doesn't talk about her parents (adoptive or bio) on the show, but she's selling her privacy in many other ways. So I don't feel sorry for her when people want to know about her personal life. And I don't think it's rude for people to ask or talk about it on her Instagram. If she doesn't want people to talk about her personal life, she should get off TV.  

She's not even a public figure who keeps her personal life private, like a singer or actor who doesn't talk about their personal life publicly. She's actively participating in putting her personal life on TV. So yes, people are curious about her personal life. And that's her fault. If she wants to benefits of selling her personal life (the money and the z-list fame) then she gets stuck with the downsides too. I feel no sympathy for her and I see no problem with people criticizing her for how she's handling her life. You reap what you sow. 

[Coconut Flan]

Not as a mod!!

This whole brouhaha today is why it's my personal  policy to not comment on fundie's blogs, instagrams, FBs, etc.  If I did happen to forget myself and do so, I absolutely would not post about it on FJ.  That is just me. 

[19 cats and counting]

What exactly was said about the cult?  I don't feel like reading through 200+ comments.

[MorningMist]

14 minutes ago, RoseWilder said:

@VelociRapture: I don't think public figures should get to have it both ways. Yeah Whitney doesn't talk about her parents (adoptive or bio) on the show, but she's selling her privacy in many other ways. So I don't feel sorry for her when people want to know about her personal life. And I don't think it's rude for people to ask or talk about it on her Instagram. If she doesn't want people to talk about her personal life, she should get off TV.  

She's not even a public figure who keeps her personal life private, like a singer or actor who doesn't talk about their personal life publicly. She's actively participating in putting her personal life on TV. So yes, people are curious about her personal life. And that's her fault. If she wants to benefits of selling her personal life (the money and the z-list fame) then she gets stuck with the downsides too. I feel no sympathy for her and I see no problem with people criticizing her for how she's handling her life. You reap what you sow. 

While I do agree that there's no way we can condemn people for talking about her personal life, this matter is a very sensitive one, adoption of an older child generally is (from my experience anyway). So the people who are asking her why she hasn't posted about her adopted mother (from what I can see some were not very polite about it) are touching upon something that not only we know very little about, we also aren't aware of her feelings about it - comments about this may genuinely hurt her, they may not, we don't know. I just think it's in a whole different ball park from the regular snarky comment.

[Tomboy]

Can someone screen shot her responses. (Don't have instagram)

[Coconut Flan]

You don't need Instagram to see them.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

If I post screenshots of the responses do I need to black out the names of the other commenters or is it cool to post as is? 

[Coconut Flan]

No need to screenshot for her.  She can read the page directly.

[picklepizzas]

1 hour ago, RoseWilder said:

@VelociRapture: I don't think public figures should get to have it both ways. Yeah Whitney doesn't talk about her parents (adoptive or bio) on the show, but she's selling her privacy in many other ways. So I don't feel sorry for her when people want to know about her personal life. And I don't think it's rude for people to ask or talk about it on her Instagram. If she doesn't want people to talk about her personal life, she should get off TV.  

She's not even a public figure who keeps her personal life private, like a singer or actor who doesn't talk about their personal life publicly. She's actively participating in putting her personal life on TV. So yes, people are curious about her personal life. And that's her fault. If she wants to benefits of selling her personal life (the money and the z-list fame) then she gets stuck with the downsides too. I feel no sympathy for her and I see no problem with people criticizing her for how she's handling her life. You reap what you sow. 

it's not really about her and what she deserves, though, is it? it's really more about what it the world makes people think they have the right, no, the MANDATE, to treat someone else poorly because they don't approve of the way they live their lives. someone's actions or beliefs do not justify abuse of them. prison guards who abuse prisoners are not "justified" in doing so if they only kick the prisoners they think of as "bad." if it's wrong to harass people on the internet, it's wrong to harass anyone on the internet, even if we don't like their life choices.  

the "comments section" is truly the deepest, darkest corner of the internet, where rules about human decency apparently need not apply.  

[Tomboy]

No I can't.  It only lets me read about ten comments and then says "Log in to see more comments ".

 

[Coconut Flan]

I think it's pushing the boundaries to expect someone to screencap and redact the replies for you.  It took me about a minute or two to set up an account.  Further, I was not logged in and could see all 22 comments and there was nothing noteworthy in them.  She seems to have deleted anything not complimentary. 

[Tomboy]

That awkward moment when you have 5,135 posts and only 2,023 positive repute.                                   Peace out.

[just...sare]

1 hour ago, 19 cats and counting said:

What exactly was said about the cult?  I don't feel like reading through 200+ comments.

I didn't actually get to see it, because Alyssa/the poster had deleted it. Alyssa responded that the post had been rude (a la "You don't know me! You don't know what I been through!"), and the poster replied with "so will you confirm that you are leaving the ATI/IBLP teachings?" A bunch of people jumped to her defense, including someone accusing that poster of being sent by FJ, but Alyssa hasn't replied (not surprisingly).

I would almost feel a little bad for Alyssa here, if she wasn't vigorously defending her choice to put her baby in jeopardy, because I can imagine she took the photo and posted it thinking "I look great today after a lousy day yesterday, and man my kid is cute, this should be a good one to post!" (I realise that's a big leap in projection).

[Curious]

7 minutes ago, Tomboy said:

That awkward moment when you have 5,135 posts and only 2,023 positive repute.                                   Peace out.

That awkward moment when a newbie doesn't realize that most of the member's posts were made before the transition to the new system that records reputation

[MorningMist]

 This got reeeeaaalll interesting.

[just...sare]

13 minutes ago, Curious said:

That awkward moment when a newbie doesn't realize that most of the member's posts were made before the transition to the new system that records reputation

 

11 minutes ago, MorningMist said:

 This got reeeeaaalll interesting.

Just yesterday I was thinking that the next time FJ needed helpmeets, I should volunteer. i have a reasonable amount of time I could devote to helping out, I'm reasonably good at following rules...yeah, no. After watching not one but two shit shows here today I am rethinking that. Props to Curious and her team who just keep keepin' on.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

I did take screenshots of the comments when I first posted the pic. I just didn't (and still don't) have the time to be redacting names etc. 

The original comment was: 

"I hope by 'never put Allie in an unsafe situation' that included not raising her in a cult like you were raised in and married into"

[Tomboy]

Thank you nice person! 

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

No problem. I think if you hang around here long enough you will find that people are generally nice to others. I don't recommend throwing shade tho, especially at our hard working volunteer helpmeets. Just my two cents.