Arndt Man Boys & Mary-Elizabeth living out their own unique stories

[Elegant Mess]

3 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I think it's a takeoff of the whole "wedding dress back lit and hanging in a beautiful window" photo that's so common now. That's what I thought of when I first saw it, but now I'm just going to think of brides hanging themselves...

Yeah, when I see them start doing pics of tuxedos hanging from trees, then that might be a clue to something deeper.  

[devoe364]

16 minutes ago, Elegant Mess said:

Yeah, when I see them start doing pics of tuxedos hanging from trees, then that might be a clue to something deeper.  

I don't know. I think the fact that none are married, none want to leave or have sex, points to something deeper. 

[J'Beka]

I, personally, am waiting to see if any FJer is bold enough to hire them as their wedding photographers!  

While I don't think people need to be calling them asking personal questions... I am seriously considering them for wedding pictures in the event that I get married. We live pretty close and their pictures are stunning! If I do at some point in the future of course I would report back.

Fun Facts: My boyfriend's dad knows Papa Arndt. They went to catholic school together. They also went to school with Lea Delaria (Big Boo from orange is the new black) so Papa Arndt has hollywood connections ; ) Image THAT class reunion!

[Elegant Mess]

13 minutes ago, J'Beka said:

While I don't think people need to be calling them asking personal questions... I am seriously considering them for wedding pictures in the event that I get married. We live pretty close and their pictures are stunning! If I do at some point in the future of course I would report back.

Fun Facts: My boyfriend's dad knows Papa Arndt. They went to catholic school together. They also went to school with Lea Delaria (Big Boo from orange is the new black) so Papa Arndt has hollywood connections ; ) Image THAT class reunion!

If you do end up going with Arndt Photography for your wedding, you'll have to let us know if they take a shot of your dress hanging from a tree!

It would also be interesting to hear your boyfriend's dad's memories of Papa Arndt!

[JesusPony]

Dammit! Just saw this thread and thought one of the manboys had escaped. Alas. None of them ever will. They're institutionalized now like that old man in The Shawshank Redemption who had been in prison for 50 years and when he was finally released he didn't know how to live on the outside. Get busy living, or get busy dying, manboys.

The situation is only going to get weirder since even the youngest kids aren't that young anymore.

[refugee]

54 minutes ago, Elegant Mess said:

Yeah, when I see them start doing pics of tuxedos hanging from trees, then that might be a clue to something deeper.  

(name) and (name) sittin' in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes (name) in a baby carriage!

(no, wait, this is fundiedom we're talking about...)

[Black Aliss]

On 5/11/2016 at 10:48 AM, elliha said:

It might seem odd to us but I do know an older group of siblings, two men and one woman who never married and lived on the same farm their whole life. One lived in his own small cabin and the other two had one level of the house each. The kitchen downstairs however was communal. They lived their lives like that until the woman died and now the two brothers continue to live in one house each on the same farm and seem quite happy. 

There were a few of those in the rural midwestern community where I grew up. Garrison Keillor's stories of the Norwegian Bachelor Farmers are pretty much true.

[elliha]

23 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

There were a few of those in the rural midwestern community where I grew up. Garrison Keillor's stories of the Norwegian Bachelor Farmers are pretty much true.

I am from northern Sweden and  "gampojkar" "old boys" used to be a common feature, a fully grown or old man who lives alone taking care of his farm. They are not as common today but still exist. There are more men than women in northern Sweden so many of them just turn out bachelors for life because they don't find a woman. There is a culture of doing well in school being a womanly thing and more women therefore have good grades and go away to other parts of Sweden to study and while some return many do not. I am still in northern Sweden but like many women I also left my hometown to most likely never return again and even if I did I already have a husband. I can feel some sympathy for some of these men who are good men but perhaps a little shy who might never find a woman. Another part of me just want to slap them and tell them to go and try another part of Sweden for 6 months and then perhaps come back with a woman or if not that, try some darn internet dating or something. 

[ScreamingIzzy]

1 hour ago, elliha said:

I am from northern Sweden and  "gampojkar" "old boys" used to be a common feature, a fully grown or old man who lives alone taking care of his farm. 

I have two uncles who qualify as "gampojkar"...except they live in America and aren't Swedish. 

[Letgo]

10 hours ago, devoe364 said:

I don't know if this has been brought up before (and forgive me if it has) but I can't help but wonder if their mom isn't so looney or their parents marriage is so bizarre that the man-boys wouldn't possibly want that for themselves? 

I mean, I know my grandparents marriage turned my mom off the idea. Isn't it possible tha this is the case for them? 

It could, but for ALL of them? My own parents didn't have a good marriage, but mine is, and so is my sister's. It doesn't  have to repeat itself. I would think that some of them might want to leave if they didn't like how Cathy and Rick are together.

They do have a bizarre lifestyle. The manboys seem to be happy at home, though. I could see them NOT wanting to do to their children when Cathy and Rick have done to them. But to all stay at home... One of them, at some point, ought to get up enough gumption to leave if they don't like how Mommy and Daddy are.

[J'Beka]

Oh! Also I know someone who knew Cathy back in the day, I think they had 10 kids at the time, she said Cathy had the patience of a saint and was always a joy to be around.

[devoe364]

12 hours ago, Letgo said:

It could, but for ALL of them? My own parents didn't have a good marriage, but mine is, and so is my sister's. It doesn't  have to repeat itself. I would think that some of them might want to leave if they didn't like how Cathy and Rick are together.

They do have a bizarre lifestyle. The manboys seem to be happy at home, though. I could see them NOT wanting to do to their children when Cathy and Rick have done to them. But to all stay at home... One of them, at some point, ought to get up enough gumption to leave if they don't like how Mommy and Daddy are.

Who knows? It was a theory, not necessarily a good one. Plus, in my family it kinda works, my eldest uncle is on his third wife, my aunt is on her second husband, my mom never married, my other uncle is miserably married for the kids. My grandparents messed up arranged marriage has screwed or skewed my family's prespective of marriage. 

[HereticHick]

http://www.3ders.org/articles/20151016-designer-takes-adorable-3d-printed-penguins-on-trip-across-japan.html

[nokidsmom]

On 5/13/2016 at 7:08 PM, Letgo said:

It could, but for ALL of them? My own parents didn't have a good marriage, but mine is, and so is my sister's. It doesn't  have to repeat itself. I would think that some of them might want to leave if they didn't like how Cathy and Rick are together.

They do have a bizarre lifestyle. The manboys seem to be happy at home, though. I could see them NOT wanting to do to their children when Cathy and Rick have done to them. But to all stay at home... One of them, at some point, ought to get up enough gumption to leave if they don't like how Mommy and Daddy are.

 

On 5/13/2016 at 7:46 AM, devoe364 said:

Who knows? It was a theory, not necessarily a good one. Plus, in my family it kinda works, my eldest uncle is on his third wife, my aunt is on her second husband, my mom never married, my other uncle is miserably married for the kids. My grandparents messed up arranged marriage has screwed or skewed my family's prespective of marriage. 

I agree that there could be something to the theory that the Arndt boys are marriage-shy or marriage-avoidant because of what they may be witnessing from their parents.  Had a boyfriend way back who told me a number of times that he couldn't see getting married, he talked about marriage in rather negative terms.  Even then I wondered what went at home to make a never married 20 year old so bitter on the idea to the point he sounded like someone twice his age who just went through his second divorce.   Anyhoo, I can see any issues (if there are any) between Rick and Cathy affecting some of the boys but probably not all of them.     But even so, a a number of them have the power to leave if they want, the older ones have jobs, make money, get out and about. Really, all it would take would be to leave the house for a job and not come back.

I still am of the opinion that there's some serious mindfuckery going on that keeps these guys at home.

[devoe364]

On 5/15/2016 at 8:30 AM, nokidsmom said:

 

I agree that there could be something to the theory that the Arndt boys are marriage-shy or marriage-avoidant because of what they may be witnessing from their parents.  Had a boyfriend way back who told me a number of times that he couldn't see getting married, he talked about marriage in rather negative terms.  Even then I wondered what went at home to make a never married 20 year old so bitter on the idea to the point he sounded like someone twice his age who just went through his second divorce.   Anyhoo, I can see any issues (if there are any) between Rick and Cathy affecting some of the boys but probably not all of them.     But even so, a a number of them have the power to leave if they want, the older ones have jobs, make money, get out and about. Really, all it would take would be to leave the house for a job and not come back.

I still am of the opinion that there's some serious mindfuckery going on that keeps these guys at home.

So much this! 

I mean, these boy-men must have some pretty brainwashed ideas about life if they don't WANT to do leave home, or have lives of their own. 

[Peas n carrots]

Well it might be as simple as one of there isn't a manboy who wants the be the pioneer and leave the farm. Being the first to do anything can be difficult. I'm guessing Ma and Pa Arndt started the brainwashing and now the boys just reinforce amongst themselves.

[nokidsmom]

3 hours ago, Peas n carrots said:

Well it might be as simple as one of there isn't a manboy who wants the be the pioneer and leave the farm. Being the first to do anything can be difficult. I'm guessing Ma and Pa Arndt started the brainwashing and now the boys just reinforce amongst themselves.

I can totally see this.  That one of them does not want to be the first, causing all kinds of upheaval not just for Rick and Cathy but amongst the entire family.  That the manboys might reinforce this makes total sense, the dynamics indicate some kind of interdependent symbiotic relationship amongst the siblings as well.

IME being the first one can be difficult especially for an enmeshed family which the Arndts obviously are.  My leaving home after college meant the whole family making some very unwanted adjustments. It was considered a "Very Bad Thing^TM" to both parents and sibs.  And for my sibs, it went beyond that they could now longer get out of the chores that defaulted to me because I was the only one who would do it.   I can totally see something like this going on with the Arndts,   

ETA: The fact that of 14 kids, not a single one has felt the urge to go out and live his own life strongly enough to be willing to be the first one to leave suggests some very strong (and fucked up) family dynamics indeed.  I knew leaving my family would be the equivalent of an emotional A-bomb but I still did it.

[HereticHick]

Did I read correctly that Rick and Cathy were raised Catholic? Kinda a shame that they didn't stick with that-- some of the manboys might enjoy religious vocations.

[Ungodly Grandma]

4 hours ago, devoe364 said:

So much this! 

I mean, these boy-men must have some pretty brainwashed ideas about life if they don't WANT to do leave home, or have lives of their own. 

Do the parents seem as if they need them for support, financial or otherwise? I know there has been speculation that there is family money.

8 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Did I read correctly that Rick and Cathy were raised Catholic? Kinda a shame that they didn't stick with that-- some of the manboys might enjoy religious vocations.

But then they would still have to leave. 

[Anonymousguest]

Not getting married is one thing. But staying home forever with all those brothers is something else entirely. I have a 4 adult males in my home currently (temporary for the summer) and I'm surprised they haven't literally marked their territory. It can get quite tense at times. I can't imagine that many guys living together. Too much testosterone really is a thing, lol.

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

Do the parents seem as if they need them for support, financial or otherwise? I know there has been speculation that there is family money.

But then they would still have to leave. 

Yes, but maybe Rick would feel that a monastery is an appropriately safe place for his precious boys.

Here's a Buddhist monastery in Canada with an annual softball game: http://gampoabbey.org/community-events-annual-lobster-release-and-canada-day-ball-game/

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Sure Not Gettin Married is a thing-- my brother never married and he is now in his 50's but boy did he have a string of girlfriends. It isn't the Not Gettin Married part that is disturbing it is the Not Leavin Mom and Dad's House part.  I have to imagine that there is something wrong with Cathy because it isn't normal to be so thrilled your children have never left and don't want to leave. That is taking "Safe at Home" to a really weird level.  Why can't the guys be Safe in their own homes with their own wives and children?

[socalrules]

I agree not getting married is not a big deal. That many children and not one has dated, wanted to date or go out and live away from the family is what is odd. They really believe that their wives are going to show up at the front door. It's even stranger considering the fact that they seem to go out in the world, especially the court reporters. Now granted they may just be working at depositions involving boring business transactions but they would at least be in a room with people that talk about normal crap when the deposition is on a break. They know exactly what is out in the world. They aren't sheltered like the Duggars or the Maxwells. What is scary is that it appears that no one wants to even take a step out of Ardnteville. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

These guys need help. To never be touched isn't healthy. I don't even mean sex but to not have the embrace of a girlfriend (or boyfriend) ever...is just depressing beyond belief to me. Mommy and Daddy and siblings can't fulfill ALL needs...

[nokidsmom]

28 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

These guys need help. To never be touched isn't healthy. I don't even mean sex but to not have the embrace of a girlfriend (or boyfriend) ever...is just depressing beyond belief to me. Mommy and Daddy and siblings can't fulfill ALL needs...

Agree that parents and sibs in any family situation can't fulfill all needs and frankly I would find a life that didn't include a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, at some point at least, a very bleak one indeed.  Maybe some of the manboys can live without it, but all of them?  Once again, the sheer numbers here indicated there's something very, very wrong.    

Hell, when I had my first bf at 17, I was beyond thrilled to have something beyond just the family connections.  And it didn't involve sex either.