Tori Bates Courtship

[choralcrusader8613]

@GreyhoundFan we don't have to break links anymore, so you're fine.

[GreyhoundFan]

Just now, choralcrusader8613 said:

@GreyhoundFan we don't have to break links anymore, so you're fine.

Phew! I was hoping I wasn't being a bad FJer. Thanks for the info!

[Nashville92]

So I googled Bobby Smith Pensacola Christian college and the first few results were of a current student. It said he was a junior from Florida, wondering if that's him. Also didn't Tori go with Lawson and another girl to PCC in March?

[ilikecheese]

9 minutes ago, Nashville92 said:

So I googled Bobby Smith Pensacola Christian college and the first few results were of a current student. It said he was a junior from Florida, wondering if that's him. Also didn't Tori go with Lawson and another girl to PCC in March?

http://www.pcci.edu/CampusLife/yearbook2015/files/64.html

Is this him in one of the pictures? I guess he does go there. 

[OrchidBlossom]

2 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I just want to be clear, I know how scary the Bates and Duggars and those like them are.  I am appalled by it all.  I was responding to a post about why the Bates family are all finding spouses versus the Duggars and others.  I just thought they came across as happier.  But, I believe all the negative stuff and have been reading the links.  I'll be more educated. I am not a fan. 

I agree as far as that they APPEAR happier, and that is probably part of how they are doing so well in the spousal arena. They are simply much better at keeping a cheerful countenance, much better at seeming to be an ideal fundie partner. After all, whether or not you are sarcastic (like Tori) seems to matter little when you toe the party line on biblical headship and quiverfull and joyful availability and KJV only and homeschooling and all that other stuff. And truthfully, it's like someone said above, there is nothing wrong with the Duggar children being more reserved and shy. But in the marketplace of spouses it probably makes them appear sullen or something, it probably hurts their marriage potential because unlike the Bates (who have mastered appearing joyful and spunky in the face of a lifetime of abuse and neglect) the Duggars seem affected by much of their upbringing. When you add in the scandals, I think it sort of killed the Duggars ATI marketability in a way that either the scandals OR the personalities by themselves would not have done.
Edit to be totally clear: I am not saying one is better than the other, just that when it comes to finding spouses I can see why the Bates APPEAR better both to outsiders and to ATIers. They're just better at keeping sweet, so to speak.

[Snarkle]

4 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Here's some more evidence of the ghost of Bates past for the newbies.   (This is one episode of 17 Kids from 2008 when both families met.  If it were on Netflix I'd watch it for laughs).  This is when the Bates were portrayed as bigger freak show than the Duggars instead of a loving happy family.

Is this the episode you mean?

Also, now I remember why I stopped watching 17/18/19Kids - Michelle's voice absolutely cuts me like a very dull (pun intended) knife.

Although I do confess to re-watching the Josh/Anna courtship/wedding episodes and wow, was I squicked out.  I was out to dinner with my husband the other night and I said Hey, let's hold hands! and of course I then had to tell him about the handsex Josh & Anna participated in before marriage, to which my husband just rolled his eyes, ha ha!

 

[sunshine]

3 hours ago, freethemall said:

They can easily leave him out. They've left out Ashley before - she was at Michael's wedding. It seems they do a season per new couple and only once they've had the "official" courting "proposal", so I doubt we'll see him until the end of this season, at the earliest. These shows all run everything late (insert Duggar Time or Late Bates joke).

Hopefully, we will meet Bob next month for I Love Day, and it could be why they let the cat out of bag too, along with Ashley. Season 4 episode 1 may be titled Looks Who is Coming for Dinner. ha

[Melissa1977]

12 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

Can I ask a couple of questions? Where do you get your information on the Bates about?  I'm not saying I disagree but I think part of the problem is that I've simply never seen this stuff about the Bates.  I know their weird and Fundie but the abuse and the racism?  Where does that come from?

Kelly used Ezzo methods for babies, she said that. Ezzo is terrible.

[formergothardite]

Last time we had this discussion about Kelly's baby training, Kelly still had Preparation for Parenting up as a resource she used. That book is way worse than Babywise. But it is gone now. I don't think she has suddenly realized how bad Ezzo is, I think she realized it is bad publicity. 

[QuiverDance]

8 hours ago, Snarkle said:

 

Although I do confess to re-watching the Josh/Anna courtship/wedding episodes and wow, was I squicked out.  I was out to dinner with my husband the other night and I said Hey, let's hold hands! and of course I then had to tell him about the handsex Josh & Anna participated in before marriage, to which my husband just rolled his eyes, ha ha!

 

2

That is so funny.  My boyfriend (I hate that I'm calling someone my boyfriend in my 40's, but the other terms seem so stuffy) is a very vigorous hand holder.  I do not mind this, and I adore him, blah blah blah, but it reminds me of Josh and Anna big time.  LOL.

[faraway]

Hi, I'm a long-time lurker and finally made an account.

I just googled Bobby and PCC and a youtube channel came up. If it's really him, his picture is with a girl different than Tori (lost heart pieces?) and he plays piano. Or he slams it, looks like Erin got some competition! In one video he sings and he is actually quite good. He plays very worldly music too. 

Although he probably is very conservative Christian, he seems far from the Bates level of sheltered and isolated. 

[JillyO]

10 hours ago, ilikecheese said:

http://www.pcci.edu/CampusLife/yearbook2015/files/64.html

Is this him in one of the pictures? I guess he does go there. 

That is definitely the same guy. Good find!

[formergothardite]

24 minutes ago, faraway said:

Although he probably is very conservative Christian, he seems far from the Bates level of sheltered and isolated. 

So was the guys who married the Duggar daughters and look how that worked out. Wonder if his family was/is in ATI. 

[faraway]

2 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

So was the guys who married the Duggar daughters and look how that worked out. Wonder if his family was/is in ATI. 

That is so true, Derrick also looks worse than ever. Maybe these families suck the life out of them...  
Yeah, would be interesting to know, who this family is.

[Thorns]

10 hours ago, Snarkle said:

Is this the episode you mean?

Also, now I remember why I stopped watching 17/18/19Kids - Michelle's voice absolutely cuts me like a very dull (pun intended) knife.

Although I do confess to re-watching the Josh/Anna courtship/wedding episodes and wow, was I squicked out.  I was out to dinner with my husband the other night and I said Hey, let's hold hands! and of course I then had to tell him about the handsex Josh & Anna participated in before marriage, to which my husband just rolled his eyes, ha ha!

 

OMG, the couch! We have foundation the original Kim Kardashian Met Gala dress! 

[eandre31]

Last night I couldn't sleep and I watched a couple of those  "Name That Bates"  videos on YouTube. the amount of YouTube commenters who commented "I just love this family! They are so unlike the Duggars!", "this family may be religious, but they aren't scary religious like the Duggars!", or "Wow! So much more refreshing and the kids are so much more normal than the Duggars!" (Paraphrased) freaked me the Hell out.

This family really has viewers swindled into thinking they are so normal. Yuck. I wish that the gossip mags would pick up on Gil's covering up of abuse.

[Nashville92]

11 hours ago, ilikecheese said:

http://www.that.edu/CampusLife/yearbook2015/fil es/64.html

Is this him in one of the pictures? I guess he does go there. 

Thats t he one I saw. There's also another article thaf said he did an internship at New Testament Baptist in Floral City, Florida. Anyone know anything about that church? It said he did a youth pastor internship 

[19 cats and counting]

14 minutes ago, eandre31 said:

This family really has viewers swindled into thinking they are so normal. Yuck. I wish that the gossip mags would pick up on Gil's covering up of abuse.

I don't think the Bates are considered famous enough to be picked up by the tabloids.  Although In Touch could have their next big story.

[formergothardite]

7 minutes ago, Nashville92 said:

Thats t he one I saw. There's also another article thaf said he did an internship at New Testament Baptist in Floral City, Florida. Anyone know anything about that church? It said he did a youth pastor internship 

It is a very fundie, KJV only, hymns only church. And from a FB post they have hosted students from Crown College. 

[Snarkle]

4 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

That is so funny.  My boyfriend (I hate that I'm calling someone my boyfriend in my 40's, but the other terms seem so stuffy) is a very vigorous hand holder.  I do not mind this, and I adore him, blah blah blah, but it reminds me of Josh and Anna big time.  LOL.

Ha!  My husband's hands are super soft because he uses a lot of hand cream - more than me!

It made me wonder how chapped Josh and Anna's hands got during that time...  Heck, in their honeymoon episode they ate with only one hand because they didn't let the other's go.  They were married at that point and could do more than just hold hands.  

[Audrey2]

5 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

That is so funny.  My boyfriend (I hate that I'm calling someone my boyfriend in my 40's, but the other terms seem so stuffy) is a very vigorous hand holder.  I do not mind this, and I adore him, blah blah blah, but it reminds me of Josh and Anna big time.  LOL.

I prefer the term sweetheart, as using boyfriend makes me feel seventeen, hoping we'll go to the prom together. That's what I call mine.

[eandre31]

24 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I prefer the term sweetheart, as using boyfriend makes me feel seventeen, hoping we'll go to the prom together. That's what I call mine.

I'm still pretty young (25), but calling him my boyfriend doesn't always feel right to me either. We live together, have been together almost 5 years, are very committed, and he is already in "stepfather" territory with my son. We just don't feel the rush to get married in our twenties. I call him my partner a lot because we are partners in life. Although then people often assume I'm gay, but idgaf! 

[TuringMachine]

8 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Last time we had this discussion about Kelly's baby training, Kelly still had Preparation for Parenting up as a resource she used. That book is way worse than Babywise. But it is gone now. I don't think she has suddenly realized how bad Ezzo is, I think she realized it is bad publicity. 

I know about Babywise but what is Preparation for Parenting? I'm having trouble finding anything on it.

And as for Kelly realizing it's bad, yeah I'm going to have to agree with you. Thinking a book she used to raise her children is bad would mean she thought the way she raised her children wasn't the best. No way that's the case. The Duggars removed TTUAC from their website but that certainly wasn't because they think it's bad either.

Actually on that note do the Bates use TTUAC too?

[formergothardite]

32 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I know about Babywise but what is Preparation for Parenting? I'm having trouble finding anything on it.

It was the first book he wrote and he based Babywise on it. It is super religious and the baby training in it was more extreme than the Babywise baby training. I'm pretty sure in that one recommended starting all this pretty much at birth. He compared ignoring a crying baby to God ignoring Jesus on the cross. The books says that parents who respond to their babies cries are in violation of the Bible. It teaches that newborn babies need to learn self-control by sticking to a rigid schedule. One of the main goals was for the children to learn that the father always came first. So the mother should serve the father any food or drink before she fed children. 

Kelly also used to have listed another Ezzo source that they used, his book about keeping daughters "pure". The advice was to not really explain anything sexual to them until right before marriage. Might explain why Michaela was trying to gain info by reading an encyclopedia. This book too is gone from the Bates page. 

[vienna]

9 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

It was the first book he wrote and he based Babywise on it. It is super religious and the baby training in it was more extreme than the Babywise baby training. I'm pretty sure in that one recommended starting all this pretty much at birth. He compared ignoring a crying baby to God ignoring Jesus on the cross. The books says that parents who respond to their babies cries are in violation of the Bible. It teaches that newborn babies need to learn self-control by sticking to a rigid schedule. One of the main goals was for the children to learn that the father always came first. So the mother should serve the father any food or drink before she fed children. 

Kelly also used to have listed another Ezzo source that they used, his book about keeping daughters "pure". The advice was to not really explain anything sexual to them until right before marriage. Might explain why Michaela was trying to gain info by reading an encyclopedia. This book too is gone from the Bates page. 

Thank you for the summary of the horrible missguided nonsense the book contents.