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Counting On - Part 8: You've Seen Half this Show Before


choralcrusader8613

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Here is a British person to help with all your fake swearing needs, we are world champions of it. Some of the words I'm going to share are fairly strong but may have not reached American lexicon, so you may be able to get away with them.

My favourites are:

'Twat' (rhymes with cat) - can be used in sentence such as 'Josh Dugger is a complete twat'.

'Knobhead' - as in 'Josh Dugger is a knobhead'.

'Wanker' - Calling someone a wanker is one of my favourite pastimes.

'Bollocks' - for example 'Season 1 of Counting On is complete bollocks'.

Wazzock, Pillock, Bellend, knob-jockey, tosspot and gobshite are choice words to call idiotic people.

Shite is a wonderfull word to describe a bad situation. It's a fairly strong swear word here but I love it.

Bugger is good for a general swear for when you drop things, forget something, do something silly. Oh bugger works even better.

I hope I have been off assistance!

This website has a wonderful list of amazing British swearing (be warned it's not safe for work or the faint hearted! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexfinnis/the-100-most-brilliantly-british-swear-words-in-existence?utm_term=.hh3PKdZxb#.gxe2VXKoE

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I think we need a little clarification on Jill and the Pen because I'm reading all sorts of different ideas put forth by FJers as to what is actually going on with Pengate.  My understanding is that Jill holds the pen out to Izzy as an enticement to get him to walk because he has become fascinated by the pen.  That's it.  She doesn't hit him with it or write on him.

My mother surprised me a few years ago by announcing she didn't like to hear me take the Lord's name in vain and that includes the word Damn for some reason.  So she is OK with me saying Fuck but not Damn or God or Jesus.  She told me this when I was over 50-- it is little hard to change my potty mouth at this stage of the game but I do try, especially when I'm around my fundie in-laws. I try my best to be a Victorian and stick to Hell's Bells and Jumping Jehoshaphat but when I am alone with my husband it is more likely to be "Jumped-up Jesus on a Sidecar" or "Shit Fucking Momma" (my go-to power swear.)

Oh and speaking of British swearwords, Bloody has always rolled off the tongue nicely and doesn't have the vulgar overtones here in the USA.  Blood-dy-hell said very slowly is a favorite of mine.

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36 minutes ago, Bushes of Love said:

Here is a British person to help with all your fake swearing needs, we are world champions of it. Some of the words I'm going to share are fairly strong but may have not reached American lexicon, so you may be able to get away with them.

My favourites are:

'Twat' (rhymes with cat) - can be used in sentence such as 'Josh Dugger is a complete twat'.

'Knobhead' - as in 'Josh Dugger is a knobhead'.

'Wanker' - Calling someone a wanker is one of my favourite pastimes.

'Bollocks' - for example 'Season 1 of Counting On is complete bollocks'.

Wazzock, Pillock, Bellend, knob-jockey, tosspot and gobshite are choice words to call idiotic people.

Shite is a wonderfull word to describe a bad situation. It's a fairly strong swear word here but I love it.

Bugger is good for a general swear for when you drop things, forget something, do something silly. Oh bugger works even better.

I hope I have been off assistance!

This website has a wonderful list of amazing British swearing (be warned it's not safe for work or the faint hearted! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexfinnis/the-100-most-brilliantly-british-swear-words-in-existence?utm_term=.hh3PKdZxb#.gxe2VXKoE

We rhyme "twat" with "what."

 

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2 hours ago, Becket70 said:

Instead of putting somebody on our "shit list", we like the classier "fecal roster".

I'm usually not a fan of replacing cuss words with other words, but this is so much better (in part because it sounds dirtier!)

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OMG ejaculations!!  Back in my Catholic school days, I used to make cards for my parents, and in them, I would promise "spiritual bouquets"... and yes, the mimeographed card would have flowers on the front which we would color with our crayons... and inside, there were spaces for how many Hail Marys, etc we would say, or Masses, or rosaries, and you could REALLY up the ante with ejaculations, because you could say them in ten seconds! So I always gave my mother LOTS of ejaculations!! It does sound funny now to hear that word..

So ejaculations are like

Jesus Mary and Joseph

Guardian angel pray for me/her

St. Whoever pray for her

Dear God bless us

 

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21 hours ago, Yaoichan12 said:

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is what my Grammy says when she is mildly upset/annoyed by something.

My stepmother said this a lot. When I was young, I thought she was saying, "Jesus Marian Joseph," which seemed like a strange middle name for a man. (Having no knowledge about John Wayne's real name at that stage.)

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My new favorite Brit curse, won't work for you, but I adore cockwomble. Also Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, thanks Dead Milkmen. But bugger is my current go too, with kids are and the German word for shit ( I lack the correct keys to spell it ;) ). Good foreign curses are amazing, until you use them in your language course, for that language and get a talking to from your professor. Lol!

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I worked in a children's bookstore for years.  I also curse enough to make a sailor blush.  Had to start using such curses as 'fiddledeedee', 'consarnet' and once referred to a difficult customer as a 'big fat poopie head' when speaking to my store manager about him.

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5 hours ago, Handmaiden of Dog said:

I think we need a little clarification on Jill and the Pen because I'm reading all sorts of different ideas put forth by FJers as to what is actually going on with Pengate.  My understanding is that Jill holds the pen out to Izzy as an enticement to get him to walk because he has become fascinated by the pen.  That's it.  She doesn't hit him with it or write on him.

My mother surprised me a few years ago by announcing she didn't like to hear me take the Lord's name in vain and that includes the word Damn for some reason.  So she is OK with me saying Fuck but not Damn or God or Jesus.  She told me this when I was over 50-- it is little hard to change my potty mouth at this stage of the game but I do try, especially when I'm around my fundie in-laws. I try my best to be a Victorian and stick to Hell's Bells and Jumping Jehoshaphat but when I am alone with my husband it is more likely to be "Jumped-up Jesus on a Sidecar" or "Shit Fucking Momma" (my go-to power swear.)

Oh and speaking of British swearwords, Bloody has always rolled off the tongue nicely and doesn't have the vulgar overtones here in the USA.  Blood-dy-hell said very slowly is a favorite of mine.

If she uses it to entice him why did she apparently say he didn't like the pen? 

That doesn't make sense. 

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Both babies wear shorts outfits. When does it become defrauding? I saw a pic of Josh when the twins were in walkers, and he had shorts. Is there a miraculous age of defrauding? 

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1 hour ago, Swamptribe said:

I worked in a children's bookstore for years.  I also curse enough to make a sailor blush.  Had to start using such curses as 'fiddledeedee', 'consarnet' and once referred to a difficult customer as a 'big fat poopie head' when speaking to my store manager about him.

I say fiddledeedee and fiddlesticks.

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On 4/29/2016 at 6:49 AM, Ungodly Grandma said:

"Walk through- the official slogan of the 2015 Joshly Sex Scandal."

I imagined myself taking a shot every time I heard that. In real life, I would have been hammered.

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16 hours ago, EscapedCardinal said:

I'm monolingual, but I've picked up enough swears in different languages over the years that my friends are used to me busting out a "merde" or "scheiß" almost as readily as a plain old "shit." My family lost our Welsh two or three generations back, but my brothers staged a mini-revival of the bad words during their teen years, and to date, no one—no American, anyway—has caught me lying about what "Dos i chwarae efo dy nain" really means (something like "Fuck your grandma," I believe). I'm sure it helps that the pronunciation doesn't really give away the spelling to English speakers.

I'm also reminded of Neil Gaiman being told once that he couldn't use "Fucking hell" in one character's dialogue, so he snuck in "Felching heck" instead, which is a lot worse in my book. If the in-laws are unlikely to consult Urban Dictionary and find out what colorful sex act that describes, you could try sliding that one by them! 

Of course I had to look it up and can someone please pass the brain bleach. I have hardly lead a sheltered life but I had no idea about , uh, feltching. I threw up in my mouth a little bit reading about it.

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1 hour ago, amendgitan said:

If she uses it to entice him why did she apparently say he didn't like the pen? 

That doesn't make sense. 

in the girls trip episode she was enticing him to walk with the pen in front of him and he took it and threw it 

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I'm kinda enjoying this linguistic turn of conversation.

If you need an intense swear, I think Seth McFarlane already created the perfect one " Dammit to pus-spewing, blood gutted hell!" I LOVE that. 

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23 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Of course I had to look it up and can someone please pass the brain bleach. I have hardly lead a sheltered life but I had no idea about , uh, feltching. I threw up in my mouth a little bit reading about it.

Sorry! I thought the warning was implicit enough...

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So, in the preview, we've got Jill saying that she's not pregnant.  

I think we've got a Jinger courtship on the horizon.  RUN JINGER RUN!

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The more I think about this the more I'm sticking with Jill and Derrick not coming home and that they are going to adopt ASAP while there.  Why would they take half the family down there to see them if Jill and Derrick are coming home in a couple of months.  I also think Boob and J'chelle's sudden, short trip down there was for Boob to try to talk them out of their decision.  Didn't work.  I'm 100% sure of it. :my_cool:

Thank you and please don't post that you think I am wrong 'cause I'm not. 

In Jesus's name.  Amen.  And all that jazz.

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3 minutes ago, Carol said:

The more I think about this the more I'm sticking with Jill and Derrick not coming home and that they are going to adopt ASAP while there.  Why would they take half the family down there to see them if Jill and Derrick are coming home in a couple of months.  I also think Boob and J'chelle's sudden, short trip down there was for Boob to try to talk them out of their decision.  Didn't work.  I'm 100% sure of it. :my_cool:

Thank you and please don't post that you think I am wrong 'cause I'm not. 

In Jesus's name.  Amen.  And all that jazz.

Ooooooh I didn't think of that! She wasn't at the Bates' graduation party today which could back up this theory. 

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40 minutes ago, Mothership said:

So, in the preview, we've got Jill saying that she's not pregnant.  

I think we've got a Jinger courtship on the horizon.  RUN JINGER RUN!

If Jinger courts and seems to have found a reasonably good guy, and gets married, and seems happy . . . does that mean we have to change the name of FJ?  :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

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2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Of course I had to look it up and can someone please pass the brain bleach. I have hardly lead a sheltered life but I had no idea about , uh, feltching. I threw up in my mouth a little bit reading about it.

Thanks for the warning. I'm not sure I've completely recovered from looking up teabagging. At the time, Wikipedia had a picture with the entry about it.

 

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