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SpoonfulOSugar

Sparkling Adventures Eleventy!!!!1!! Lauren's Laments

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SpoonfulOSugar

If you haven't been down this rabbit hole - take a trip!  If you're up to speed - carry on . . . . 

Part 10 begins here:

Part 10 has a lovely summary by HA (paragraphs and paragraphs) of all the fuckery that is Lauren.  

 

Part 1: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11137 An Australian (Former Fundie) Blogger's Son Dies

Part 2: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=14804 Sparkling Adventures Blog

Part 3: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=15960 The Return of Sparkling Adventures

Part 4: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=18273 Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - Now with Rats!

Part 5: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19315 Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - Vive la France

Part 6: viewtopic.php?f=259&t=19860 Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - Whee! Polyamory

Part 7: viewtopic.php?f=259&t=22687 Sparkling Lauren, a super special sparkling surrogacy and a "gayby"

Part 8: viewtopic.php?f=259&t=22971 Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - "Gayby" on Board

Part 9: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24040 Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect - "Gayby" is Born!

 

Archive: viewforum.php?f=259

Blog: sparklingadventures.com - be aware that there is a link on the homepage that will take you to photos of dead baby Elijah in the morgue

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DaisyD

I missed the morgue pics the time I visited the blog. :pb_confused: :pb_cry:

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DaffyDill

If Lauren is seeking help from Compassionate Friends, then that is a brilliant move, and one that is extremely helpful. 

My ex and I were great friends with another couple who lost their four year old son in an horrendous farming accident many years ago, and his mother sought help from the same organisation. I don't know she would have made it through the initial raw agony without them. 

They also provide help and assistance for siblings, as well as parents, so I hope Lauren has the sense to take the girls too. 

CF is made up of people who have lost children, whether to accidents, illness, it doesn't matter how. They've all been there and they understand. Bereaved parents have no expectations placed upon them, they're just surrounded by those who understand without words, and when they are ready to talk, people will listen.

For once I'm thinking "Good one, Lauren".

http://www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au

Edited by DaffyDill

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Blueruin
7 hours ago, DaffyDill said:

If Lauren is seeking help from Compassionate Friends, then that is a brilliant move, and one that is extremely helpful. 

My ex and I were great friends with another couple who lost their four year old son in an horrendous farming accident many years ago, and his mother sought help from the same organisation. I don't know she would have made it through the initial raw agony without them. 

They also provide help and assistance for siblings, as well as parents, so I hope Lauren has the sense to take the girls too. 

CF is made up of people who have lost children, whether to accidents, illness, it doesn't matter how. They've all been there and they understand. Bereaved parents have no expectations placed upon them, they're just surrounded by those who understand without words, and when they are ready to talk, people will listen.

For once I'm thinking "Good one, Lauren".

http://www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au

But would she take her daughters there? They may try and undo all her insistence that it was a "neutral" event. 

The girls aren't even allowed to have negative feelings about water (I think I'd be dead scared of it myself in their shoes). 

And if CF caught wind of all of her rainbow ideas how would they deal with her in regards to the kids. 

Shes been way to smart keeping them away from mandatory reporters and such in the past....

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Blahblah

As usual I can't follow her logic here. The girls are told that it's a neutral event. Sparkles hides her own "grief apron" from the world on a daily basis. So if it's neutral, why all the grief?

She's finally getting counseling, but no mention of the girls being included. We can only hope her discussions with CF lead her to realising that the girls need help too.

 

 

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hoipolloi
5 hours ago, Blahblah said:

As usual I can't follow her logic here. The girls are told that it's a neutral event. Sparkles hides her own "grief apron" from the world on a daily basis. So if it's neutral, why all the grief?

She's finally getting counseling, but no mention of the girls being included. We can only hope her discussions with CF lead her to realising that the girls need help too.

As usual, it's all about Lauren and probably only about Lauren.

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chaotic life

If Lauren can finally face her own grief she has been running from for the last four years, then she will almost certainly let others reach her girls as well.

Any efforts to face this are a positive step for her. I will not judge her in the least. So much of AFTER becomes an absolute blur and Lauren ran away from her world and everyone who was part of her life that could have supported her. The reality is that those people abandon you when your child dies, not all will but far too many will. Lauren lost trust in everyone and everything. She's been running for years. There comes a point where you cannot keep running and you have to let the tears flow. I am hopeful this is that time for her little family.

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sparkles

If Lauren is finally acknowledging her grief for what is and getting help, I think it's wonderful. If she allows her girls to do the same, even better. But I can't help but wonder what, if anything, she'll do about the other son she lost. The living, breathing boy she gave away. The one who lives on the other side of the world, who she only sees is in video snippets. She claims, rather defiantly, that one has nothing to do with the other, but if she's truly having an awakening now, will she have a change of heart? Possibly claim that when she agreed to the arrangement she was under stress and not capable of understanding the ramifications of her decision? There are so many innocent lives (and I include Lauren to a large extent) entangled in this mess. No one should be hurt further.

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Eternalbluepearl
6 minutes ago, sparkles said:

If Lauren is finally acknowledging her grief for what is and getting help, I think it's wonderful. If she allows her girls to do the same, even better. But I can't help but wonder what, if anything, she'll do about the other son she lost. The living, breathing boy she gave away. The one who lives on the other side of the world, who she only sees is in video snippets. She claims, rather defiantly, that one has nothing to do with the other, but if she's truly having an awakening now, will she have a change of heart? Possibly claim that when she agreed to the arrangement she was under stress and not capable of understanding the ramifications of her decision? There are so many innocent lives (and I include Lauren to a large extent) entangled in this mess. No one should be hurt further.

SUCH a good point. What about Daniel? Indeed. 

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Black Aliss
23 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

SUCH a good point. What about Daniel? Indeed. 

She will never be able to get custody of Daniel. I just hope she doesn't make his parents' lives a living hell by interfering.

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chaotic life

She will never be able to disrupt Daniel's life. She will have to open the floodgates of that grief by acknowledging what she did at some point, but to do that might limit her contact to him and thus it will be hard to do.

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bubblekitty
On 25/04/2016 at 3:27 AM, Black Aliss said:

She will never be able to get custody of Daniel. I just hope she doesn't make his parents' lives a living hell by interfering.

They were idiots and possibly assholes who took advantage of a person crimson with red flags. Perhaps because of those red flags. While I don't wish ill on them or interference with the child's upbringing there is nothing in Lauren's profile that doesn't' scream "future problem" to them.

"My baby was murdered less than a year ago! I want to have another baby and give it to you!"

Frankly they are either really stupid or extreme jerks.

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DaffyDill
1 hour ago, bubblekitty said:

They were idiots and possibly assholes who took advantage of a person crimson with red flags. Perhaps because of those red flags. While I don't wish ill on them or interference with the child's upbringing there is nothing in Lauren's profile that doesn't' scream "future problem" to them.

"My baby was murdered less than a year ago! I want to have another baby and give it to you!"

Frankly they are either really stupid or extreme jerks.

I think their desire for a child caused them to lose some, or a lot, of their critical thinking skills when it came to choosing a surrogate. Given their desire for a redheaded mother/baby, they really limited the choices open to them.

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HighlandCow

I don't know, they didn't even know her. They weren't blinded by her sparkling personality and they aren't Rainbow Gathering people.

Surrogacy is a squicky industry, just like private adoptions and re-homing: just because there are some good people who do it doesn't mean the industry isn't exploitative.

What shocked me was that Lauren was modest during HER birth out of 'respect'. Most 'gold star' gay and lesbian people I know/of are not misogynist/misandrist, but some definitely are. I have no doubt in this case she was used solely for her Uterus.

The Farkling Sundie Birth:

- Mother picked for her appearance and fertility

- Felt giving birth was a spiritual role she was meant to fullfill

- No regard taken for her mental health

- No account taken of the other children's feelings

- Dubious or non-existent prenatal/birth/postnatal care

- The child belongs to the Father(s)

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Grimalkin
On April 24, 2016 at 6:57 PM, chaotic life said:

If Lauren can finally face her own grief she has been running from for the last four years, then she will almost certainly let others reach her girls as well.

Any efforts to face this are a positive step for her. I will not judge her in the least. So much of AFTER becomes an absolute blur and Lauren ran away from her world and everyone who was part of her life that could have supported her. The reality is that those people abandon you when your child dies, not all will but far too many will. Lauren lost trust in everyone and everything. She's been running for years. There comes a point where you cannot keep running and you have to let the tears flow. I am hopeful this is that time for her little family.

        I am hopeful to. Her assertion that her son's death was a neutral event was a while ago. It does not mean she still feels this way now. Even if she just starts with herself it doesn't mean the kids won't get help too.

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16strong
7 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

        I am hopeful to. Her assertion that her son's death was a neutral event was a while ago. It does not mean she still feels this way now. Even if she just starts with herself it doesn't mean the kids won't get help too.

I think Lauren has been depressed for a very long time, and in that case, she was probably so numb that she couldn't feel anything at all about her son's death. The mind has interesting ways of protecting us from extreme grief until it feels we are ready to process it and work through it. Lauren is probably just now at the stage where she can really acknowledge it and talk about it.

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Grimalkin
14 hours ago, 16strong said:

I think Lauren has been depressed for a very long time, and in that case, she was probably so numb that she couldn't feel anything at all about her son's death. The mind has interesting ways of protecting us from extreme grief until it feels we are ready to process it and work through it. Lauren is probably just now at the stage where she can really acknowledge it and talk about it.

I really hope this is true and not wishful thinking on our part. Losing a child is devastating in any circumstance. Having your baby die violently by your life partner is unimaginable. 

        Lauren proved that there is actually a wrong way to grieve though. I do root for anyone who wants to change and do better.

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DomWackTroll
On 4/29/2016 at 11:36 PM, bubblekitty said:

They were idiots and possibly assholes

 

On 4/29/2016 at 1:02 AM, DaffyDill said:

Given their desire for a redheaded mother/baby

This alone is enough to make me lean towards "assholes." Strongly. 

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sea_gale

The whole surrogacy storyline makes me do a sad/cringey facepalm. I think in several years she may admit that she fucked up/was taken advantage of here. I really, really hope that her grief counselling makes her daughters' need to acknowledge their grief too.

Lauren has a truly startling capacity for cognitive dissonance, in spite of being quite shrewd and intelligent when it comes to writing and marketing her blog. I think Daniel's dads probably do too, as shown by their picking Lauren in spite of her numerous flashing red flags. I wonder how Daniel himself will feel if/when he learns the full story of his conception and birth? Pretty fucked up, I shouldn't wonder.

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ladyaudley

Lauren has posted a picture of the bus on instagram - she's completely gutted it and outfitting it anew, with bunk beds ( I guess the girsl are getting too big now for all of them to pile into a hammock at night!) and without a fridge... let's hope the outfitting takes a loooong time and she stays put. 

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Tim-Tom Biblethumper

Hmmm...  Her insta isn't working for me.  
Is this it?
www.instagram.com/sparklingadventures/

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Eternalbluepearl
11 minutes ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Hmmm...  Her insta isn't working for me.  
Is this it?
www.instagram.com/sparklingadventures/

Yes, that is the correct insta. Why won't she get those girls a real place to live? :my_confused:

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ladyaudley

yep, that's the one. Who knows... maybe she'll mess up the bus so badly they can't use it. Plus they'll run out of space - it was already tight when the girls were young and now they're 11, almost 10, 8 and 6 and a half - it's going to get worse and worse. 

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season of life

Now I think I recall how I found FJ in the first place. The YouTube channel, called Gays With Kids, did a video of the couple (Ben and August, I know Ben changed his name and I didn't spell August's name right) and their baby. I Googled the couple and found the surrogacy situation being discussed in a thread. Then I learned all about Lauren. 

His parents really wanted a kid, I'm sure, but I cannot fathom choosing such a compromised woman and using her as an incubator. In the video I mentioned, Ben said the surrogacy/custody laws in his country were strict so women couldn't be taken advantage of, but it seems as though they had no problem obtaining their redheaded son. 

I hope Lauren gets better. I hope her girls end up with good futures. And I hope she really doesn't have a connection to Daniel Valur.

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Koala

Well, August has arrived.  It'll be interesting to see if Lauren has a baby...

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