Sister Wives 3 - Collective in Crisis?

[apandaaries]

1 hour ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

If anyone's doing a good job of "breaking away" from the lifestyle she was so indoctrinated in, I think it's Mariah. College far away from her family was supposed to bring her back to the church she once adored, but instead it helped her see a new side of life, a side that appealed to her. The way Mariah thinks now is so different than how she did during the first few years the show ran.

As for the whole Solomon thing... It really dragged on and was blown up. I can see how Meri took it the way she did, as dramatic as it was. Given all that's happened, I could see how especially Robyn might not trust Meri. Of course, she let Breanna go instead, so it may have very well been just what Robyn felt was right for her son. At the same time, I do think she said no awfully fast, which is why I can see how Meri felt it was a trust thing.

<snip>

Agree that Mariah seems to be breaking away in an educated way -- though I'm sure the betrayal she feels from her mother is playing a huge part as well.  Watching her change over the years has been interesting.  Did anyone else notice when she said she'd urged her mother to avoid that relationship?  The wording made it sound like she'd been aware earlier on about Meri's activities.  I wouldn't be surprised if Meri had confided in Mariah.  It's not appropriate, but Meri seems to be compelled to talk to others, and there wouldn't be anyone else in the family to discuss that with.

The King Solomon drama was bizarre.  All I could think about as I watched that was how Solomon's birth mother was pregnant and about to disrupt his life with a new baby.  He's practically a toddler.  I've only got one offspring, but I've heard it's quite typical for the former babies to be unsettled about the arrival of the new baby. I wouldn't have let my wee one wander off with a sister wife for several days. Is Meri so immature that she can't put his needs before her own?  (I think we know the answer to that.)  

[SweetFellowshipper]

@snarkysuki1724i know, right?! 

@amandaaries, if Meri didn't outright tell Mariah, she'd also have been able to tell. Mariah was home when it was happening and probably heard some of it. Meri left literally hundreds of voicemails proclaiming her love, all day every day... Mariah must have caught some of them when she was in the house. And her Twitter romance was very public. Mariah is a millennial; she must have known about catfishing and seen the signs of either the deception or an affair, to which the Brown adults were blind.

[theinvisiblegirl]

26 minutes ago, amandaaries said:

Agree that Mariah seems to be breaking away in an educated way -- though I'm sure the betrayal she feels from her mother is playing a huge part as well.  Watching her change over the years has been interesting.  Did anyone else notice when she said she'd urged her mother to avoid that relationship?  The wording made it sound like she'd been aware earlier on about Meri's activities.  I wouldn't be surprised if Meri had confided in Mariah.  It's not appropriate, but Meri seems to be compelled to talk to others, and there wouldn't be anyone else in the family to discuss that with.

<snip>

I'm pretty sure Jackie met Mariah. When "Sam" went to Disneyland, Mariah was there with Meri. And there are pictures of "Lindsay" - Jackie - with Meri from Disney, so that could be what she meant.

[apandaaries]

1 minute ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

@snarkysuki1724i know, right?! 

@amandaaries, if Meri didn't outright tell Mariah, she'd also have been able to tell. Mariah was home when it was happening and probably heard some of it. Meri left literally hundreds of voicemails proclaiming her love, all day every day... Mariah must have caught some of them when she was in the house. And her Twitter romance was very public. Mariah is a millennial; she must have known about catfishing and seen the signs of either the deception or an affair, to which the Brown adults were blind.

Yep.  And she had enough information to encourage her mother NOT to do all this, yet she did.  At that age, given that family dynamic, I am not at all surprised that Mariah is seething while Meri tries to repair the relationships she broke.

I also recall many of us at FJ perusing Meri's tweets and wondering what on earth was going on there.  She was pretty transparent with her postings. I remember hoping it was signs of her discontent and an indication that her college career/independent thinking was urging her to move from the compound and into a new life (but then again, I'm often overly optimistic).  

I also found it intriguing to watch how Kody and Sobyn responded to Meri's request and subsequent door slam.  That show of anger seemed to make Kody want to give in.  It was interesting to see Sobyn hold her ground, but still offer Breanna as a substitute/peace offering.  It's so interesting to see the wives balance their relationships and allies; Meri has clearly made an effort to befriend Sobyn and her kids, a closer relationship, it seems, than Meri has with Christine or Janelle's kids. (Remember how Madison broke the news of her nuptials first to Janelle, then to Kody and Christine with Janelle's help?  Meri was in another tier of information.)

Just now, theinvisiblegirl said:

I'm pretty sure Jackie met Mariah. When "Sam" went to Disneyland, Mariah was there with Meri. And there are pictures of "Lindsay" - Jackie - with Meri from Disney, so that could be what she meant.

Oh wow.  What teenager raised in polygamy wouldn't be pissed about this?  

[SweetFellowshipper]

There's also the creep factor of your mom bringing some scary scammer into your life...and on your vacation with your parent. 

[crawfishgirl]

I just watched the episode.  The main thing that stood out to me was that Meri is a deeply unhappy person.  I feel bad for her, but that fact that she has taken it out on Janelle, Christine and their kids just makes me sad and much less sympathetic.  She didn't need to treat the family so poorly because she was unhappy - it would have been better if she could have gotten help for her issues from the beginning.  Treating them like crap created many of the strained family dynamics issues that caused her to turn to the catfisher in the first place.

As for the Solomon issue, I don't think she should have taken it personally.  If she was really so close to Robyn, she probably would have known about his sleeping struggles - that's a common topic of discussion for mothers of young children.  I'm also surprised that she wanted to take such a young child on a long road trip.  My kids would have been upset being away from us when they were that age, and also, young kids don't typically travel that well.  Christine's daughter Truly would have been a better choice if she actually wanted the youngest child possible, but she seemed like she only wanted one of Robyn's children.  Again, her attitude towards the other wives' families has caused many of her problems.

The Brown family may have gone on this show to demonstrate how good polygamy is, but anyone with a brain can see that it isn't working for them.  They appear to have done a good job with their kids, but fail in their relationships with each other.  I can't imagine anyone would turn to polygamy after watching this disaster.

 

[AmazonGrace]

I agree but then I reckon that any marriage with Kody would suck...

[zadie]

Just now, crawfishgirl said:

I just watched the episode.  The main thing that stood out to me was that Meri is a deeply unhappy person.  I feel bad for her, but that fact that she has taken it out on Janelle, Christine and their kids just makes me sad and much less sympathetic.  She didn't need to treat the family so poorly because she was unhappy - it would have been better if she could have gotten help for her issues from the beginning.  Treating them like crap created many of the strained family dynamics issues that caused her to turn to the catfisher in the first place.

As for the Solomon issue, I don't think she should have taken it personally.  If she was really so close to Robyn, she probably would have known about his sleeping struggles - that's a common topic of discussion for mothers of young children.  I'm also surprised that she wanted to take such a young child on a long road trip.  My kids would have been upset being away from us when they were that age, and also, young kids don't typically travel that well.  Christine's daughter Truly would have been a better choice if she actually wanted the youngest child possible, but she seemed like she only wanted one of Robyn's children.  Again, her attitude towards the other wives' families has caused many of her problems.

The Brown family may have gone on this show to demonstrate how good polygamy is, but anyone with a brain can see that it isn't working for them.  They appear to have done a good job with their kids, but fail in their relationships with each other.  I can't imagine anyone would turn to polygamy after watching this disaster.

 

 

Yeah they really dropped the ball with trying to portray polygamy as awesome and functional. 

I would love to see one of their kids end up in a polyamorous relationship and see how everyone reacts. Especially one of the girls. Now that would be a special I'd wanna watch lol.

[BadMurphy]

I'm sorry this is off topic and probably has already been discussed but I read somewhere in a comment section that when he married Robyn, Kody told Christine he was done having kids with her (in favor of Robyn), did that really happen? I haven't been able to find anything else on that but I'd think that would have been a pretty huge thing, Christine seemed to love havin the babies....

[OyToTheVey]

I'm finally watching the episode. Anyone else feel bad for Brianna? Poor kid was stuck on a trip with that much tension. And it's really weird that she only wanted Solomon as a peace offering for precious Mariah. She could have easily taken Truly, who's old enough to outgrow the dreams. And I hate to defend Robyn but it's a quite common problem with children that age. At around 3-4 even up to 6 they experience nightmares and attachment to mom. 

Edit: if Meri was so close to the family and loved Solomon so much she would have known about his problems and shouldn't have even considered taking him out of state as a peace offering for her daughter. And yes I know that was a long run on sentence oopsies. 

[Georgiana]

Meri is a very selfish and self-centered person.  She really doesn't seem to realize or care how her actions hurt or impact others, and she doesn't seem to sympathize, empathize, or understand when she causes other's pain.  

Meri is all about Meri.  Meri is about Meri's needs.  Meri wants what Meri wants, and Meri will override the needs of others to get that.  

Meri wants to take Sol.  Who takes a kid that age on a road trip?  He's too young to handle it well, it's going to be a nightmare.  It would be with most kids that age too.  But Meri doesn't care that this would not be fun, good, or even healthy for Sol.  Meri wants to take Sol, and freaks out when she doesn't get what she wants.  

Meri wants Mariah to forgive her.  Mariah is clearly not ready and is saying "Your actions hurt me and I need time away from the relationship to heal and be in a place to move forward".  But does Meri respect that?  Nope.  Push push push.  

And this is why Meri got in the situation with the catfish.  Because Meri didn't care what her actions would do to the people around her.  Meri wanted what Meri wanted, and Meri was willing to very publicly backstab and hurt everyone to get that.  

And I think now, everyone realizes who Meri really is.  

[FundieFarmer]

I'm just now watching the episode too. The way Kody laughed when Meri asked was so dismissive, plus followed up by what he said, basically said to me, "Hahahaha, you're so dumb, he's too young to go with ME, and you're not even his blood relative. NO." For all of their "everybody is their parent", Kody's reaction said otherwise. And Meri was positively CALLOUS to Solomon and his needs.

[FundieFarmer]

I think the sign says, "If we are in complete control of our family, somewhere along the line we have gone terribly wrong..."

Uh.

[apandaaries]

I think the sign says, "If we are in complete control of our family, somewhere along the line we have gone terribly wrong..."

Uh.

Ahh! Is THAT what it reads?? I've noticed the cinematographer enjoying the angles there and wondered with everyone else what other words accompanied "wrong"... That sentiment?! Wow.

[theinvisiblegirl]

7 hours ago, BadMurphy said:

I'm sorry this is off topic and probably has already been discussed but I read somewhere in a comment section that when he married Robyn, Kody told Christine he was done having kids with her (in favor of Robyn), did that really happen? I haven't been able to find anything else on that but I'd think that would have been a pretty huge thing, Christine seemed to love havin the babies....

During XFinity Watchathon Week, I rewatched the first few seasons of Sister Wives because it was there and I wanted to have some fun snark time, seeing them before everything went wrong. I didn't get the impression that this is what happened. Christine had had a scary miscarriage before Truely, and she opted for her first hospital birth in an effort to assuage her fears that something might go wrong. I recall her saying after Truely was born and a few times after that she was done having kids.

[devoe364]

8 hours ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

During XFinity Watchathon Week, I rewatched the first few seasons of Sister Wives because it was there and I wanted to have some fun snark time, seeing them before everything went wrong. I didn't get the impression that this is what happened. Christine had had a scary miscarriage before Truely, and she opted for her first hospital birth in an effort to assuage her fears that something might go wrong. I recall her saying after Truely was born and a few times after that she was done having kids.

If I remember correctly, Kody wasn't done having kids, but his wives were, and that was part of the push for another wife, 

[crawfishgirl]

I wonder if Meri would have been a happier person if she was in a monogamous relationship.  She seemed to be in love with Kody when they were married, then got upset when he married Janelle.  She seemed to become more bitter as time passed.  If her religion hadn't forced her into polygamy as the way to get into heaven, she may have become a fulfilled and wonderful person.  Polygamy just leeched the life out of her.  

Not excusing her behavior towards the other wives, but just speculating on what could have been. 

[Coconut Flan]

Or she could be a petulant never happy person no matter her lifestyle.  I finally had to accept that about my MIL. 

[2manyKidzzz]

I have never read about what the spiritual "advantage" is about polygamy. As in the above mentioned getting to heaven part. It is so strange to me. 

[devoe364]

1 hour ago, crawfishgirl said:

I wonder if Meri would have been a happier person if she was in a monogamous relationship.  She seemed to be in love with Kody when they were married, then got upset when he married Janelle.  She seemed to become more bitter as time passed.  If her religion hadn't forced her into polygamy as the way to get into heaven, she may have become a fulfilled and wonderful person.  Polygamy just leeched the life out of her.  

Not excusing her behavior towards the other wives, but just speculating on what could have been. 

Honestly, I think she truly believes in polygamy, however, I think she expected to have a passle of kids of her own. I think her bitterness comes not so much from polygamy,  but from the fact that she only had one child. Had Meri and Janelle reproduced at similar rates, I don't think she would be as self centred or bitter. 

[Natalie22]

11 minutes ago, devoe364 said:

Honestly, I think she truly believes in polygamy, however, I think she expected to have a passle of kids of her own. I think her bitterness comes not so much from polygamy,  but from the fact that she only had one child. Had Meri and Janelle reproduced at similar rates, I don't think she would be as self centred or bitter. 

I definitely think this is a key problem.  Imagine how hard it is that you've been trying for three years with no luck, another wife comes in to the family and within 3 months or so she's pregnant.  Then when another wife joins a year later, again, after about 3 months she's pregnant.  So the other wives are pregnant after less than 6 months of marriage each and its been over 4 years and you've never been pregnant.

I think Christine had also told Meri right before Meri found out she was pregnant that she hoped Meri wasn't expecting.  I can't imagine if someone was struggling with infertility saying that.  Even though Meri had Mariah, she continued to struggle with infertility, while her wives typically each had a new baby every 1-2 years.  

On top of this, when Meri felt she'd come to terms with never having another child, she became pregnant and then miscarried (I'd say around the time Gwendolyn and Gabriel were born or in utero).  Which then brought up all her old feelings again about not being able to have children.  I think for Meri, monogamy would have been much easier as she would have to watch her husband continue to have children while she herself was unable to.  I'm sure it was similar to her experience of being the first without children, but times 1000.

[crawfishgirl]

I agree with all of the comments.  I'm sure she strongly believes in polygamy, though the reality of actually living in it day-to-day is overwhelming for her, especially with her fertility issues.  I didn't have any fertility problems, but I can't imagine having to share my husband and watch other wives get pregnant as well.  The experience of having your husband with you only one of every three or four nights while he is snuggling with another woman would be devastating, even when a person is reared with that concept.  Since having large families is important in their community, and her worth was tied to it, her infertility would be another devastation on top of everything else.

In their book, they discuss marrying young and not having the maturity to deal with many of these issues.

[devoe364]

7 minutes ago, Natalie22 said:

I definitely think this is a key problem.  Imagine how hard it is that you've been trying for three years with no luck, another wife comes in to the family and within 3 months or so she's pregnant.  Then when another wife joins a year later, again, after about 3 months she's pregnant.  So the other wives are pregnant after less than 6 months of marriage each and its been over 4 years and you've never been pregnant.

I think Christine had also told Meri right before Meri found out she was pregnant that she hoped Meri wasn't expecting.  I can't imagine if someone was struggling with infertility saying that.  Even though Meri had Mariah, she continued to struggle with infertility, while her wives typically each had a new baby every 1-2 years.  

On top of this, when Meri felt she'd come to terms with never having another child, she became pregnant and then miscarried (I'd say around the time Gwendolyn and Gabriel were born or in utero).  Which then brought up all her old feelings again about not being able to have children.  I think for Meri, monogamy would have been much easier as she would have to watch her husband continue to have children while she herself was unable to.  I'm sure it was similar to her experience of being the first without children, but times 1000.

I've lost two babies and likely cannot have my own. I used to have a lot of bitterness about this. 

Now I only feel bitter when people rub it in my face. Unfortunately living polygamy and struggling with fertility has meant that it is thrown in Meri's face all of the time, making it that much harder to deal with. 

With her fertility issues, monogamy would have been easier for her, however I think alternate universe Meri, with 6-7 kids of her own, is much happier then this Meri. 

[SweetFellowshipper]

I was thinking yesterday about what I'd have done if I was Mariah. And honestly, if my mom insisted on lying, I'd have shown her the texts where she was talking about making out with and having sex with Sam, the banana blow job photo, and the voicemail where Meri said that Sam was "hotter, richer, and better on all fucking levels" than my dad, and I'd have said, "so, really, Mom? This is a friendship? If we're going to talk, how about you explain this first?" And she'd deserve it. 

The eyebrow comment in comparison seems really tame. 

[DaisyD]

Did Meri admit that all those texts were real? Were they proved real somehow? I ask because there is no way that Meri actually had sex with Sam, since he isn't real, and any part of the story that talks about them having physical sex is absolute horseshit. I agree that Meri has culpability here. I just don't want anyone to forget that if Sam said it, there's likely at least some fabrication. She is the victim of a crazy person.