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What is going on at the Maxwells?


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3 hours ago, Granwych said:

I would be quite surprised to read that Stevie even has a friend.  Leghumpers and fellow "conduits from Jesus" but real friends, no.

I was thinking specifically of when the Great Vasectomy Reversal happened. I am nearly positive they were still in a church and had a social life then.

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22 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

I really think Teri suffers from battered women's syndrome. I mean she can leave but can't and wont. She's been emotionally abused and has low self worth. She allowed her kids to be abused too. I don't think she has anything left even if Steve dies. 

         ...... Or something similar, batterd women's syndrome without the phisical battering. I am not convinced she is not still depressed. Chronic depression does not just go away by itself. She just shoved it down deep inside. Not saying she is innocent. At some point she could of insisted she get help despite Steve, talking openly about it to pastors and such until Steve had no choice but allow her. Resisting may seem impossible but a lot can happen when a person speaks up loudly.

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6 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

         ...... Or something similar, batterd women's syndrome without the phisical battering. I am not convinced she is not still depressed. Chronic depression does not just go away by itself. She just shoved it down deep inside. Not saying she is innocent. At some point she could of insisted she get help despite Steve, talking openly about it to pastors and such until Steve had no choice but allow her. Resisting may seem impossible but a lot can happen when a person speaks up loudly.

That's likely about the depression, especially if she eschewed medication. Now that Mary's graduated she doesn't really have any kind of goal, she wasn't involved much in the homeschooling but at least she had the 30 years of homeschooling thing. And really, to many people, it's not much of an achievement. If her kids were all at Ivy Leagues or were pulling in $100K a year people might take notice, but as it is, they're not doing anything. The guys are working questionable jobs, all self-employed, likely limited themselves when they had the God-speak on their sites (and anyway people can still google them and find the blog). The daughters have absolutely nothing. "Look at us! We homeschooled for THIRTY YEARS!!" But you have fuck all to show for it.

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17 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I don't think Teri's parents are anywhere nearly as fundie as Steve likes to pretend. When GiGi went on the cruise with Tami, she was dressed in slacks and seemed to be having FUN. I think, like most things on that blog, her parents are not what they appear, and I bet the "permission" things are nothing more than Steve asking for Teri's hand in a traditional way and discussing a difficult decision like the precious REVERSAL with an older adult like any regular person might have a chat with a valued mentor. God forbid Steve mention he had a conversation with a friend.

Why do you think Teri got little support from her family? Her parents seemed to have done all they can to help out and stay close, even moving to Levenworth.

BTW, does anyone know WHY they moved to Levenworth? They were in the PNW for Steve's former job, right?

They say somewhere that Teri's parents were (sort of) Christian but grew in the Lord thanks to Teri and Steve's influence.  We also know that they have misrepresented what happened with Steve's parents.  His parents divorced and married again, but were also both church going Christians - just not Maxwellian Christians.

I realize that I did Stevehovah an injustice.  He did consult Teri about reversing the vasectomy - they prayed about it a lot. He doesn't seem to have consulted her about getting snipped in the first place. He made that decision with the help of his conservative church and her father.  His getting snipped was wrong, people!  Here is his old and remarkably verbose post on the subject:  http://articles.titus2.com/we-ve-reversed-a-bad-decision/

So they were in Florida for the worst of the depression, he got snipped, they moved to WA and reversed the vasectomy, Steve quit or was terminated from his job and they moved to Leavenworth. I think they moved to Leavenworth because Gigi and Grandpa lived there already (not sure about that.)  The COL in Leavenworth is probably lower than in many places and that may have factored in to the decision. 

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On 4/18/2016 at 5:37 PM, johnhugh said:

I would think that people on their circuit are realising that Stevie is a Psycho and the word spreads, hence little conference bookings. A Google search on them is bound to bring up this site.... Hi Stevie!!!

ITA on this.  Also, sometime back there was some discussion that their site doesn't fully advertise what really is presented in the conferences, take the "extreme sheltering" for example, which I believe is part of the men's conference.  I suspect there's been a few that come out of those conferences thinking WTF and if anyone has openly disagreed with Steve in particular, it appears it gets a little scary to disagree with him.  I wouldn't be surprised at all if there's been some negative feedback after these conferences so they don't get invited back, plus as you say, word gets around.

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I think it is taking a giant leap to internet diagnose Teri with Battered Person Syndrome and a leap that greatly trivializes the subject.  It's not actually a "real" diagnosis, BTW, it is a legal defense.  BPD is seen as a combination of PTSD, depression, and learned helplessness that causes people to strike out and murder the abuser rather than leave the situation.

We have no evidence that Teri has suffered consistent and ongoing abuse from Steve.  He is a controlling asshole but we do not have any evidence that he was ever violent with Teri.  Her family doesn't seem to have seen anything like that either, nor do they seem to have make any efforts to intervene.

Occam's razor, and consistency with what the Maxwells have said themselves:  Teri had low progesterone, which can cause depression, plus situational depression caused by trying to care for 3 children to Steve's exacting standards when he traveled a lot for his job.  IMO, PPD played a big part too, but that is just a theory.  He relieved her of the pressure of taking care of the children by becoming self-employed, becoming omnipotent and omnipresent Dad, and creating the schedule.

Basically Steve took control over everything and relieved her of responsibility.  Teri joyfully submitted.

As far as how "bad" the depression was - we only have their word for that too.  Teri proudly claims that her 3 older children have no memory of how dysfunctional she was in their early childhoods.  Rather surprising, when you think about it.   Situational (as opposed to clinical) depression can resolve untreated and hormones can regulate over time.  The topical progesterone cream Teri talks about is often recommended for post-menopausal women.  It certainly wouldn't be enough to "cure" clinical depression but it helps with depression post-menopause.

Again, Teri's depression story is central to the Maxwell message of how female submission to the Patriarch is the way to go.  The extreme sheltering is a separate issue.

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A new post up about the sisters taking NR-Anna out for her birthday.

I really get the feeling some of these recent posts are in response to some of us thinking the Maxwell female children have little to no freedom.

Well they can go out to a coffee shop without Mommy and Daddy along, so there!

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11 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Well they can go out to a coffee shop without Mommy and Daddy along, so there!

 In the second picture 3 of the 4 are squinting. No sunglasses in Maxhell?

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58 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I think it is taking a giant leap to internet diagnose Teri with Battered Person Syndrome and a leap that greatly trivializes the subject.  It's not actually a "real" diagnosis, BTW, it is a legal defense.  BPD is seen as a combination of PTSD, depression, and learned helplessness that causes people to strike out and murder the abuser rather than leave the situation.

We have no evidence that Teri has suffered consistent and ongoing abuse from Steve.  He is a controlling asshole but we do not have any evidence that he was ever violent with Teri.  Her family doesn't seem to have seen anything like that either, nor do they seem to have make any efforts to intervene.

Occam's razor, and consistency with what the Maxwells have said themselves:  Teri had low progesterone, which can cause depression, plus situational depression caused by trying to care for 3 children to Steve's exacting standards when he traveled a lot for his job.  IMO, PPD played a big part too, but that is just a theory.  He relieved her of the pressure of taking care of the children by becoming self-employed, becoming omnipotent and omnipresent Dad, and creating the schedule.

Basically Steve took control over everything and relieved her of responsibility.  Teri joyfully submitted.

As far as how "bad" the depression was - we only have their word for that too.  Teri proudly claims that her 3 older children have no memory of how dysfunctional she was in their early childhoods.  Rather surprising, when you think about it.   Situational (as opposed to clinical) depression can resolve untreated and hormones can regulate over time.  The topical progesterone cream Teri talks about is often recommended for post-menopausal women.  It certainly wouldn't be enough to "cure" clinical depression but it helps with depression post-menopause.

Again, Teri's depression story is central to the Maxwell message of how female submission to the Patriarch is the way to go.  The extreme sheltering is a separate issue.

I agree. And I am not sure how severe Teri's depression is/was. Was it really bad or was it exaggerated like the Pepsi addiction so that they can once again demonstrate their status as The Chosen and Elect of the Lord

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Sunglasses might block the light of the Lord.

 

Also, in another recent post, Teri says, "You know from reading the Mom’s Corners and the Managers books that I really encourage moms to take a little piece of time–thirty minutes or even just fifteen minutes–each day to tackle a project that seems overwhelming or isn’t happening. Do that consistently for a week and on into a month to see just what happens."

Hey, this is something I agree with her on! Fifteen minutes can help create a great habit. Of course, I got this idea from Unfuck Your Habitat, not the Bible.

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Thinking about this, at this point, with her 

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I think it is taking a giant leap to internet diagnose Teri with Battered Person Syndrome and a leap that greatly trivializes the subject.  It's not actually a "real" diagnosis, BTW, it is a legal defense.  BPD is seen as a combination of PTSD, depression, and learned helplessness that causes people to strike out and murder the abuser rather than leave the situation.

We have no evidence that Teri has suffered consistent and ongoing abuse from Steve.  He is a controlling asshole but we do not have any evidence that he was ever violent with Teri.  Her family doesn't seem to have seen anything like that either, nor do they seem to have make any efforts to intervene.

Occam's razor, and consistency with what the Maxwells have said themselves:  Teri had low progesterone, which can cause depression, plus situational depression caused by trying to care for 3 children to Steve's exacting standards when he traveled a lot for his job.  IMO, PPD played a big part too, but that is just a theory.  He relieved her of the pressure of taking care of the children by becoming self-employed, becoming omnipotent and omnipresent Dad, and creating the schedule.

Basically Steve took control over everything and relieved her of responsibility.  Teri joyfully submitted.

As far as how "bad" the depression was - we only have their word for that too.  Teri proudly claims that her 3 older children have no memory of how dysfunctional she was in their early childhoods.  Rather surprising, when you think about it.   Situational (as opposed to clinical) depression can resolve untreated and hormones can regulate over time.  The topical progesterone cream Teri talks about is often recommended for post-menopausal women.  It certainly wouldn't be enough to "cure" clinical depression but it helps with depression post-menopause.

Again, Teri's depression story is central to the Maxwell message of how female submission to the Patriarch is the way to go.  The extreme sheltering is a separate issue.

Could this be another aspect of his "being called home?"   I haven't read all of his Dad's Corner posts because it makes me stabby, but wonder if Teri was so debilitated (something they will not fully acknowledge, of course) that he was already taking time off from work to get or keep things under control.  Just a thought.

It seems that the entire family, with use of the schedule, has had to focus on supporting Teri.   Even if her depression issues, whatever the cause, are resolved now, the old habits die hard.   Teri is used to submitting because it works for her, it works for Steve and the daughters are so used to having to support their mom that they own it as their responsibility that they must carry out even if sacrificing their own lives.

Don't get me wrong, I think Steve is controlling to the point of being pathological, and while there's no way to know how much his controlling ways contributed to Teri's depression, it didn't help her situation.    It seems things resolved between age and the kids growing up, not by submission to the patriarch which was really a way for her to avoid responsibility and throw it on other people namely her kids and her husband.  To be fair, it might have truly been a survival mechanism which worked for her but to other's detriment, namely her daughters.

 

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3 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Could this be another aspect of his "being called home?"   I haven't read all of his Dad's Corner posts because it makes me stabby, but wonder if Teri was so debilitated (something they will not fully acknowledge, of course) that he was already taking time off from work to get or keep things under control.  Just a thought.

I think it was probably a combination of factors.  Steve was probably genuinely upset because Teri was so depressed, worried because she wasn't home schooling the existing children, and perhaps the ceiling fan wasn't being dusted or the beds made with military precision.  He was also having issues at work that we have never got a straight answer on - he has said that he wasn't finding it easy to report to a woman and/or interact with women over business lunches - or something.  I personally think he was an HR nightmare and was managed out with a decent golden handshake.

 

3 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Don't get me wrong, I think Steve is controlling to the point of being pathological, and while there's no way to know how much his controlling ways contributed to Teri's depression, it didn't help her situation.  

The Maxwells started out as pretty middle of the road conservative Christian until they started the slow slide down into the extreme sheltering of the Church of Steve.  I think they probably have a functional, even loving, marriage - it wouldn't work at all for me but it does for Teri - but that functional marriage for the two of them sacrificed the well-being of their children.  As you said.

Steve is definitely controlling to the point of pathology and a very angry person.  He's not a fool though.  He and Teri eventually rejected Pearl's teachings, separated themselves from other Patriarchal leaders and set out on their own.  Steve teaches reasoning and gentleness with children these days.  Back in the day I think they did use Pearl methods, but they switched to weeping and wailing instead.  Very manipulative and emotionally instead of physically abusive.  They definitely under-educated their children, especially the girls, although they would deny that vociferously.

Steve's need for control and need for excessive sheltering - the cause has always been a conundrum.  His parents divorced - he's not alone with that.   He volunteered for the air force (I think he was a pilot), at a time when trying to avoid the draft or get exemption for college was really quite respectable.  He served in Thailand during Vietnam, and then went through college on veterans benefits.  He's very proud of his father-in-law's military record but his own father also served in the military.  He doesn't mention his own service, IIRC.  We have speculated that he was shocked to his core by sexy things in Thailand.  He wasn't a soldier on the ground in Vietnam, where you see the worst cases of PTSD in survivors.  He may have been badly shaken by dropping napalm on innocent Vietnamese civilians.  Veterans process that differently.

@sparkles has a really good grasp of the Maxwell chronology and knows Steve's Dad's Corners really well - much better than I do.  Perhaps she will chime in?

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7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I think it is taking a giant leap to internet diagnose Teri with Battered Person Syndrome and a leap that greatly trivializes the subject.  It's not actually a "real" diagnosis, BTW, it is a legal defense.  BPD is seen as a combination of PTSD, depression, and learned helplessness that causes people to strike out and murder the abuser rather than leave the situation.

We have no evidence that Teri has suffered consistent and ongoing abuse from Steve.  He is a controlling asshole but we do not have any evidence that he was ever violent with Teri.  Her family doesn't seem to have seen anything like that either, nor do they seem to have make any efforts to intervene.

Occam's razor, and consistency with what the Maxwells have said themselves:  Teri had low progesterone, which can cause depression, plus situational depression caused by trying to care for 3 children to Steve's exacting standards when he traveled a lot for his job.  IMO, PPD played a big part too, but that is just a theory.  He relieved her of the pressure of taking care of the children by becoming self-employed, becoming omnipotent and omnipresent Dad, and creating the schedule.

Basically Steve took control over everything and relieved her of responsibility.  Teri joyfully submitted.

As far as how "bad" the depression was - we only have their word for that too.  Teri proudly claims that her 3 older children have no memory of how dysfunctional she was in their early childhoods.  Rather surprising, when you think about it.   Situational (as opposed to clinical) depression can resolve untreated and hormones can regulate over time.  The topical progesterone cream Teri talks about is often recommended for post-menopausal women.  It certainly wouldn't be enough to "cure" clinical depression but it helps with depression post-menopause.

Again, Teri's depression story is central to the Maxwell message of how female submission to the Patriarch is the way to go.  The extreme sheltering is a separate issue.

       Of course you are right. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. 

 

*I do think it is still possible she has some depression and not aware of it because as a fundie you are not even allowed to identify any negative emotion.

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5 hours ago, bertnee said:

Sunglasses might block the light of the Lord.

 :Bang2:  Too right! Seriously, I think  this family is even more boring than the new Duggar series. Surely the "girls" prayed for the barista? Or gave a religious tract to a homeless person? No photo of a precious baby? Thank Goodness, though, they were wearing the shade-shirts just in case a male looked their way......

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10 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

       Of course you are right. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. 

 

*I do think it is still possible she has some depression and not aware of it because as a fundie you are not even allowed to identify any negative emotion.

Hey, no worries!  None of us really know what is going on with Teri.  Only Teri herself knows that.  She may still have residual depression but is unable to admit it after preaching about her God Steve given cure.

I really feel sorry for her but I can't ignore the destructive message she preaches so eloquently.

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I think it's time for them to hang up the blog and move on. Without the dog & pony show, they have nothing worthy of posting about and the harder they try, the worse they look. 

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In the newest post the girls took Annamarie out for her birthday at some coffee shop in the comments someone named Linda asked where Elissa was and boy she got a snappy response.

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13 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

In the newest post the girls took Annamarie out for her birthday at some coffee shop in the comments someone named Linda asked where Elissa was and boy she got a snappy response.

And I think we can assume the response was form Steve.  For posterity:

Quote

Linda says:

April 21, 2016 at 2:13 pm

Where is Elissa?
>>>>>>
Probably home. They don’t do everything together.

Really, Steve?  You could have fooled me.  "They" as opposed to "we."  Doesn't Sarah run the blog? The responses to comments from Maxhell get terser and terser.  Not good PR.  Even the most passionate leg-humper will get turned off.

It also implies that Joe and Elissa have achieved some distance from the Borg Maxhell Collective -that would be a Very Good Thing. 

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2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And I think we can assume the response was form Steve.  For posterity:

Really, Steve?  You could have fooled me.  "They" as opposed to "we."  Doesn't Sarah run the blog? The responses to comments from Maxhell get terser and terser.  Not good PR.  Even the most passionate leg-humper will get turned off.

It also implies that Joe and Elissa have achieved some distance from the Borg Maxhell Collective -that would be a Very Good Thing. 

Melanie wasn't there either.

Joseph and Elissa have also gone with a non-Biblical name for their kid (Calia). Obviously Grace is pretty biblical but, when you compare Calia to the other names, it stands out.

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Signing in just to give rep to those who preserved the pissy reply and then immortalized it in meme!!!

 

ETA that "they don't do everything together" and  it probably sticks in Steve's craw that they don't!!!

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On 18/04/2016 at 10:02 PM, catlady said:

I am so squicked out by this.......:my_cry:

My thoughts exactly....:brainbleach:  (where's the vomiting emoticon when you need it?)

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:banana-drums::bananna-demon::bangheaddesk::deadhorse::martian-disgust::potstir::dramallama-nanner:]:zombie::popcorn2::wine::penguin-no::mouse-shock:'

An entertaining array of some of my favorite emoticons found while searching for the one you wanted and I still had to ask for help.:puke-front::puke-huge::puke-left::puke-right:

Search for "puke."

 

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6 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

:banana-drums::bananna-demon::bangheaddesk::deadhorse::martian-disgust::potstir::dramallama-nanner:]:zombie::popcorn2::wine::penguin-no::mouse-shock:'

An entertaining array of some of my favorite emoticons found while searching for the one you wanted and I still had to ask for help.:puke-front::puke-huge::puke-left::puke-right:

Search for "puke."

 

Aha!  Also:  hehehe, zombie.

 

Also also:  thank you!

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