What is going on at the Maxwells?

[fundiefan]

Dear God of the Maxwells,

Give them a life or convict them to stop blogging.

The mundane crap they share is just, well, boring yes, but it's more pathetic than that. They got nothing. No dog & pony show. No church. No...nothing. But, you, their LORD, I suppose. Help them out, will ya'? When your fans are creating blog posts around a random trip to the store, they need help. I mean, I went to the store several times last weekend (even Target!) but none of it was relevant to anyone else on the planet.

They are doing you no favors, LORD.

[RoseWilder]

10 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Maybe this is a little too much snark, but I loathe the whole random words and artfully-rusted tacky shit on the wall thing that fundies love to do. I know that it's more because my personal taste runs towards more simple, clean lines (so basically the Ikea aesthetic), but I just think that putting giant "LOVE", "FAMILY", "JESUS", and "EZEKIEL 25:17" decals on your living room wall looks really silly.

It's very Pinterest-y.  I see those kind of decorations on nearly every Mommy-blog I've read, the Maxwells are just doing a Jesus-y version. Frankly, I'm kind of shocked that they keep up with Pinterest stuff, but they seem to. 

But yeah, I can't stand it either. It looks too cluttered. It kind of reminds me of being in a decorating/home goods kind of shop, where it's almost overwhelming because there's too much to look at. 

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I'm not sure how to take the Shopping At Ikea blog entry.  Am I supposed to think how sweet it is that Sisters-in-law spend time buying stuff together?   Am I to marvel at their amazing creativity? Should I be grateful for this humble little window into the daily life of The Maxwells?  Meh.  I should probably be thankful that the latest post did not feature small children and a dog on the grass, smiling at the camera.  Frankly I'm about Beiged out and ready to leave Maxhell.  Somebody alert me when something interesting happens-- and by "interesting" I don't mean a small child getting "Get Well Soon" balloons for smashing her pinkie in a door.

Bye bye Sarah.  Good luck with the rest of your life.  I hope you enjoy the few scraps of happiness that Steve allows.

[Justme]

I imagine the tasks of being a "perfect wife" are draining Anna. She is pregnant, has 3 very young children. She cooks, cleans, sews, etc. I don't blame her for looking tired.

[MamaJunebug]

10 hours ago, Jana814 said:

She most Deffently does!!  She dosen't mind being isolated from her family. 

We don't know that for certain. IIRC when the family visited Leavenworth they gamely helped the Maxwells deep-clean the Max-manse. I'm guessing just one such blog post about that kind of vacation (???) would be enough for even the most devoted Maxfan and Steve's engineerish analysis dissuaded him from future reports. 

 

For or all we really know, Chris & Anna have traveled to her folks' place in Washington any number of times. Steve certainly doesn't tell his adoring fans -- and us -- *everything.*

 

ETA: Did they lay out the gallery on the floor AT IKEA?! The floor it's on doesn't look like anything the family have installed to date. I've only been to Ikea once and there wasn't a spare square foot to play around with layouts!  Still, they are the Maxwells and Calia's mom is Ofjoseph (Joseph The Smug), so they might have done. 

Next Q: how far is the nearest Ikea to Maxland? Did a male drive them there?? I hope they got to enjoy the meatballs. They were darn good on my visit . 

[goldbu]

39 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

 

Next Q: how far is the nearest Ikea to Maxland? Did a male drive them there?? I hope they got to enjoy the meatballs. They were darn good on my visit . 

One opened recently in Kansas City so it's not too far from them. 

[PennySycamore]

@MamaJunebug, I think the layout was done at their home.  Some or all of the things look like they came from Hobby Lobby and not IKEA.

[Granwych]

17 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

But... but... without a huge JESUS sign on the wall how are you supposed to know what to think about 24/7? 

Dusting ceiling fans, maybe?  Too secular, though.

[Snarfblatt]

Every time I check on this thread I hope that something is actually going on with the Maxwells but nothing ever is. 

[SolomonFundy]

5 hours ago, Snarfblatt said:

Every time I check on this thread I hope that something is actually going on with the Maxwells but nothing ever is. 

Well, I mean, several of them did go outside earlier this week. Or did you miss the blog update?

[Granwych]

8 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Well, I mean, several of them did go outside earlier this week. Or did you miss the blog update?

Was there a weather report?  A traffic update?  A writeup of broken glass that the Maxwells didn't bother to clean up?   I guess they are indeed slipping.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I imagine we can expect a memorial day BBQ blog post. All of the Maxwell's including extended family will be there! Will Teri forget the lettuce for the burgers this year? We'll have to tune in to find out...oh my goodness imagine a Maxwell reality show?  

[deborahlynn1979]

How tragic. The Maxwells have been reduced to pimping for referral clicks to Amazon on their blog. 
 

Out, damned spot! Except for that one spot even Grandma's can't remove..................

[LurkerOverThePond]

"Mary seems to have developed the best skills at stain removal and is often requested to work on a spot that has appeared on a prized garment."

Really, Teri? I kind of - KIND OF - enjoy the mundane things they usually write about (makes my own life seem much more interesting!) but Mary's stain removal professionalism makes even me falling asleep... and the constant marathon of giggling little kids, as cute as they are, is becoming old. I miss Uriah and their "adventures" across the USA.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I imagine we can expect a memorial day BBQ blog post. All of the Maxwell's including extended family will be there! Will Teri forget the lettuce for the burgers this year? We'll have to tune in to find out...oh my goodness imagine a Maxwell reality show?  

I can imagine a 2 AM Maxwell Insomnia Hour.  Am pretty sure it would work, too.

[Coconut Flan]

Oh, we may be treated to what some might call picnic eggs. 

[HermioneSparrow]

They are trying to pimp Mary, isn't it? Mary can draw, Mary makes cookies, Mary has interior design skills, Mary is the best stain cleaner...

As if! Cause drawing a little, making some bland easy cookies, decorating Pinterest style and removing stains are super unique skills. They can say Mary found a pot of gold but there isn't a guy out there that can put up with Steve.

It's funny how much they want to paint Mary as the next Degas or something... To be an artist is so much more than natural skills and sadly, she'll never have a chance to develop whatever she's talented at (sewing, i think).

[FloraKitty35]

5 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I imagine we can expect a memorial day BBQ blog post. All of the Maxwell's including extended family will be there! Will Teri forget the lettuce for the burgers this year? We'll have to tune in to find out...oh my goodness imagine a Maxwell reality show?  

Suddenly death would lose it's sting, if the Maxwell's get a reality show.  

[mango_fandango]

Lemme just get this straight, Memorial Day is like Remembrance Day? It seems to be more celebrated than Remembrance Day is in Britain. We just do a two minute silence at 11am and politicians and Royals lay poppy wreaths at the Cenotaph. But then again we don't have any kind of national day like 4th July. The closest we get are things like the Royal Wedding and the Jubilee where people do street parties and have the day off work and school. 

Oh, and of COURSE Stevie's in the hardware section whilst Teri's looking at cleaning implements etc. The fact that the entire family, Sarah Anna and Mary included, helped with building the house and also help out with the siblings' houses, means nothing.

And it's amazing how they link ev.er.y.thing to Jeebus. I'd've thought blood would be something you'd need to cleanse, rather than it being cleansing.

[albanuadh_1]

I wonder if we will be taught how to cut lettuce with a pizza cutter?

[divadivine]

I haven't been over to 2Tits in awhile. Too boring... Makes me feel bad for not cleaning the ceiling fan & the cabinets daily. I saw the photos from the zoo. Seems like Anna-Marie hasn't trained Ruthie enough. The girl has a little naughtiness in her! Run Ruthie Run! 

 

[SPHASH]

On Tuesday, May 24, 2016 at 9:30 PM, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

Mary? Why are you wearing what looks like five year old's rain boots/galoshes. Also, they actually went to/go to Ikea?!?! I thought all Fundies hated Scandinavians. Or maybe that's just PP. 

New post up.  Anna, Mary, Elissa, and Calia went shopping.  Guess that is a huge FUCK YOU to all of us who thought that J n E were keeping some distance from Maxhell.  Hi Steve!

[Granwych]

10 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I imagine we can expect a memorial day BBQ blog post. All of the Maxwell's including extended family will be there! Will Teri forget the lettuce for the burgers this year? We'll have to tune in to find out...oh my goodness imagine a Maxwell reality show?  

Maybe we'll finally learn how to use a pizza cutter to shred lettuce!  I can't wait!

 

Never mind...shoulda read ahead before I disturbed all those electrons...but...maybe Teri will forget to take the paper off the cheese for the burgers.

[Bethella]

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Lemme just get this straight, Memorial Day is like Remembrance Day? It seems to be more celebrated than Remembrance Day is in Britain. We just do a two minute silence at 11am and politicians and Royals lay poppy wreaths at the Cenotaph. But then again we don't have any kind of national day like 4th July. The closest we get are things like the Royal Wedding and the Jubilee where people do street parties and have the day off work and school. 

Memorial Day (the last Monday in May) is to remember those who died while serving in the US armed forces. Veterans Day (Nov 11) honors all veterans including those who came home. The history of Memorial Day traces back to the American Civil War while Veterans Day traces back to WWI.

[mango_fandango]

Ah. Yeah the British Rememberance Day is for those who've died in any conflict, whether it's a World War or the Falklands War or even things like Afghanistan and Iraq.