Adoptive "Mothers" part deux

[PsyD2013]

6 hours ago, iheartchacos said:

Hits close to home. We are into planets here (and I don't even homeschool!) I found planet cards at the dollar store and taped them, in the order of orbit, on the wall...I printed coloring page for free, you tubed planet songs and downloaded the storybots planet rap to sing, found a cheap book at the thrift store, and got a few library books...can she not handle that? I spent less than $2 and less than an hour combined getting all the stuff!

Nope.  Kimmy could not handle your planet enrichment activities.  Problem-solving would detract from her "poor me" bitch fest.

[Pastors Daughter]

On 6/1/2016 at 10:15 AM, Queen Of Hearts said:

I feel so badly for Avery... someday she is going to Google herself and find out her mom never wanted her, or even liked her.  Considering Vicky doesn't hide her identity, I think she is beyond cruel to talk about these types of things on the Internet.  

It won't wait until someday. Avery (and the other girls) are presently reading and reacting to Vicky's re-homing angst. Vicky writes:  "Today, June 3rd, I ordered my first Christmas gifts! I can't tell you what I ordered, the girls often read my blog and I wouldn't want to spoil their surprise!" 

Keep words against your kids PRIVATE in your mind or conversations that you are certain children will not hear through doors, tale-telling "friends," or later read.

 

[alexandracabot]

Holy shit, I cannot believe Vicky lets her daughters read her blog. No wonder she says her other daughters don't get along with Avery, either. If you were reading your mom write about how your horrible sister is ruining your family and how she desperately want to give her up, what would you think of your sister? How would you ever bond with her?

 

[Rubaiyat]

12 hours ago, PsyD2013 said:

Nope.  Kimmy could not handle your planet enrichment activities.  Problem-solving would detract from her "poor me" bitch fest.

Oooh!  @happy atheist!  Could Cannot Handle Your Planet Enrichment Activities be a post count title?  Pretty please, with extra homeskool sauce on top?

 

 

[ILoveJellybeans]

I have never heard a homeschooling parent complain about her child sitting down at her desk and learning about space our of her own choice. Most would be thrilled that their child has something they are interested in learning about, and that their child is so eager to learn, and would be proudly telling everyone how amazing their child is for being curious and wanting to learn. Most would be doing all they can to work their child's interests into other lessons, especially with a child who struggles with school stuff, doing planet related art projects, buying (or borrowing from the library) plenty of books on space, taking her to the museum, finding documentaries for her to watch etc.

[Shiny]

Kimmy never has anything positive to say about the other girls. How about praise for the child who wants to learn something...so much so that she sits at her desk on a weekend to memorize facts. Her questions are never ending? GOOD. Use that time to feed her curiosity. 

Of she's positive when it comes to Apple, but it's always at someone else's expense. Like when she compares her to her sisters or the daycare kids. 

I find it kind of horrible that she watches other peoples children when she admits that her cats struggle with the girls. 

[countingblessings]

I'm sick  to my stomach.when I read stuff like this I think of my fundie cousin.i can't stand the woman .She adopted  two sweet kids (really the kids were sweet but had been through so much trauma from their previous home) and would punish them for their "bad" behavior by forcing them to eat hot food without a drink,making them sit on their hands and telling the little boy he was possesed by Satan and force him to admit he was. She would give her bio kids food and candy and let them eat it in front of them and not give them anything .Needless to say CPS was called and they were taken away from her thank goodness.i still think of them and hope they found a home that loves them. I don't understand wanting to adopt children and going through the process of that just to treat them like a pet  that can be thrown out and treated like garbage.

[Mirla]

Kimmy's girls are consistently exceptional.  Exceptionally gifted until they are exceptionally slow.  Exceptionally kind until they are exceptionally manipulative.  Doing exceptionally well, until they have exceptionally complicated health issues.  They can never be kids with normal interests in the solar system.  They are either displaying  exceptionally bizarre behaviors, or the next Neil deGrasse Tyson.  Since Neil doesn't fit in her current narrative...

 

[Mirla]

9 hours ago, countingblessings said:

I'm sick  to my stomach.when I read stuff like this I think of my fundie cousin.i can't stand the woman .She adopted  two sweet kids (really the kids were sweet but had been through so much trauma from their previous home) and would punish them for their "bad" behavior by forcing them to eat hot food without a drink,making them sit on their hands and telling the little boy he was possesed by Satan and force him to admit he was. She would give her bio kids food and candy and let them eat it in front of them and not give them anything .Needless to say CPS was called and they were taken away from her thank goodness.i still think of them and hope they found a home that loves them. I don't understand wanting to adopt children and going through the process of that just to treat them like a pet  that can be thrown out and treated like garbage.

So sad...

I think, in many cases, they don't intend to treat them like garbage.  But they're told it's easy to get kids to behave, and they're given a very narrow definition of "good behavior."  You mix that with teenagers who grew up with different behavior expectations, and attachment issues, suffering from language and cultural frustration, and parents who don't understand that they can't compare kids they've molded from birth with kids who were molded elsewhere, and it's a recipe for disaster.

The parents either need to totally rethink their mindset, or double-down on the "training."  Since their mindset is supposed to be "God's way," sadly, they often decide to double-down.  When that doesn't work, they double-down again.  

 

 

[iheartchacos]

Someone call the POPE! THREE MIRACLES happened just for Saint Kimi. Bless her heart.

[Maggie Mae]

13 minutes ago, iheartchacos said:

Someone call the POPE! THREE MIRACLES happened just for Saint Kimi. Bless her heart.

I saw that and was looking for this thread!  It's a miracle you found it! I might have had to use the search function. 

Kimmie's idea of a miracle involves paperwork. What a boring miracle. At least turn some water into wine or brew some beer or something. Maybe heal the sick or help the downtrodden. 

 

[scribble]

22 minutes ago, iheartchacos said:

Someone call the POPE! THREE MIRACLES happened just for Saint Kimi. Bless her heart.

Before Kimmie's post, I didn't realize it was a miracle when you locate something that you apparently just placed in a pile and are now just getting around to cleaning up.

I'm fairly certain I'm going to start saying, "It's a miracle, I've found this glass!" every time I do the dishes now. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

Who the hell complains about having to spend one night in a hotel (expensive!) in order to get allegedly much-needed help for their child?

Someone who doesn't actually consider the girl her child, that's who.

You're an asshole, Kim.

 

[keepercjr]

Boy what a post.  So does she think that package just showed up there?  It sure seems so.  Seems to me she watched that movie and then got stuck on miracles.  No more coincidences for K!

Also, traffic from the Bay Area back to home is going to be a major bitch Friday afternoon.  I hope she plans on hanging out for a few hours after her appointment and then leaving.  My mom used to commute from the Bay Area every weekend and after 1:30 or so on Fridays the traffic just jams up.  Everyone is either leaving town for the weekend or commuting home to the lower cost of living cities.  A trip that should normally take about 3 hours can take upwards of 5

She says being out with her Sissy is hard.. Does that mean that other than gynmastics and doctor appointments they don't leave the house?  That has got to be just awful.  

[bertnee]

So...K cleaned her office and found important paperwork that shouldn't have been lost in the first place. #blessed

[Mirla]

I will admit to occasionally considering it a minor miracle that I found something that was hopelessly lost. But I would never consider it "super huge," "huge," or even "big and may turn out to be huge." 

But Kimi never experiences "minor" anything. Kimi's life is always exceptional.

[DaisyD]

8 hours ago, Mirla said:

Kimi's life is always exceptional.

I know I frequently take exception to it.

[Koala]

Her post today   She makes me absolutely sick! 

[PsyD2013]

Kim sounds disappointed that Sissy does not have ASD.  Her diatribe on the normal MRI makes me ragey.  MRI is not used to diagnose ASD.  I use a variety of parent and teacher questionnaires, and the ADOS - 2 ( Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule-Second).  The ADDOS is the gold standard for ASD diagnosis.  I see a lot of kids come in with assessments which consisted only of a doctor going down the DSM-5 criteria.  If Sissy's issues are more behavioral, she could benefit from some services from an applied behavior analyst- not that Kim would follow the treatment plan.

[alexandracabot]

How long has it been since Kimmie said something that could be remotely construed as kind or loving about Sissy? Years?

[DaisyD]

The only time she says nice things about Sissy is when Blossom pisses her off.

[Hisey]

On 6/2/2016 at 9:48 AM, SoGladIWasCofE said:

Honestly I think a lot of the older kids are probably better off in Chinese institutions rather than american systems. In their own culture, with friends they grew up with, where they speak the language.

Realistically, teenagers don't get adopted, and bouncing kids around foster homes in search of a "forever family" is just giving them false hope and no stable base.

Actually, I know several families who've adopted teens from China. 

I have no idea whether it's better to spend your teen years in a Chinese institution or spend it bouncing around foster homes. I would tend to side with the Chinese institution, as then they'd have a stable home. But it would depend a lot on what the institution was like, what the foster care was like,  what the child's future would've been in both countries. Really, impossible to tell. Probably different for every kid.

If you have crappy teen experience bouncing around in foster homes, but then have the opportunity for higher education (like community college) . . . well, that's probably better than remaining in your institution, growing up, going to work 24-hour shifts in a factory for the rest of your life, and having difficulty finding friends and a partner because you have no family. On the other hand, if you are abused in foster care to the extent you can't life a happy life in the US (also a real possibility), then your birth country is probably the better choice.

 

[Mercer]

I also think that the significant loss of being removed from the birth culture is a major factor.

Being adopted into a stable and loving family situation is a huge gain, and when you weigh what the child is gaining versus what they're losing, adoption can very much be the best decision.

When it comes to being stuck in a system, though? Being in a system where the culture is unfamiliar so you feel completely isolated from the peers around you, you don't fully know the language and struggle to communicate, you've lost all your friends and familiar caretakers, the food all tastes strange and may be difficult for you to eat or know how to prepare, you're unfamiliar with how to navigate any of the formal or informal systems you're faced with, and your immigration status may be left in limbo, plus it has been demanded that you trust a family and then they have completely abandoned you... I really think birth country wins out in that situation, in spite of the very real hardships and challenges the young person would face there.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Vicky wanted a break from Avery and a "sweet" family offered to take her off her hands for a month.  

[alexandracabot]

I like how she says she doesn't want Avery to overhear her talk to the social worker, yet she has said she lets her daughters read the blog where she trashes Avery and talks about how unloveable she is.