Columbine Shooter's Mom Releases Book

[roddma]

Columbine shooter's mom releases a tell all book .It seems the public mostly blamed her. The kid had two parents.

http://www.houstonchronicle.com/life/books/article/Sue-Klebold-s-memoir-about-her-teenage-son-6843155.php

[sparkles]

I have a lot of respect for Susan Kleebold and the way she conducted herself in after Columbine. Unlike the Harrises, the Kleebolds chose to remain in the community and reach out the victims and their families—Susan Kleebold was actually praised by one victim for her sincerity, sorrow and compassion. After reading about her in both Dave Cullen's "Columbine" and Andrew Solomon's "Far From the Tree," I have no doubt that she was a loving, caring parent who was blindsided by what happened, and like many of us, could only see the warning signs in the aftermath. Family members of the perpetrators are often unseen, forgotten victims of these tragedies but instead of receiving sympathy and understanding, they're vilified and threatened. As difficult as it to be the parent of a murdered child, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be the parent of the murderer.

 

[iweartanktops]

@sparkles, Far From the Tree is a great book! 

Thanks for the information about how she stayed in the community, etc., after the shooting. I didn't know about that. I think I'll get her book. 

[Cleopatra7]

I've always thought that the public blame of the Klebolds, at least, was a bit harsh. It's generally agreed that Eric Harris was a psychopath, and in true psychopath form, he fooled everyone around him, including his parents, teachers, and juvenile justice officials (he and Klebold were arrested for breaking into a van and were sent to a youth diversion program). When you have a real psychopath in your midst, ordinary, good-natured parenting isn't going to do a thing, and neither will strict parenting. Columbine was not a "school shooting," but a failed terrorist plot that devolved into a school shooting. The propane bombs Klebold and Harris built were meant to demolish the school cafeteria, and kill at least 500 people. Fortunately, the bombs were mis-wired (effective bombs are notoriously hard to build, which is why professional terrorist groups have engineers and demolition experts who do nothing but build bombs that are guaranteed to work). When you think of Columbine as a failed terrorist attack created by a psychopath and a suicidal depressive, then it becomes harder to simply do the "blame the parents" routine.

The best opportunity for breaking up the Columbine plot would have been after the van break-in; perhaps if the two had been exposed to "the system" the particulars of the plan would have been discovered while they were serving time. I suppose the idea was that the break-in was "kid's stuff" and there was no reason to derail Klebold and Harris' lives, but in hindsight, it might have prevented the shooting. However, the Harrises believed that the issue should be handled "within the family" and with the least amount of legal intervention, presumably to preserve their "face" within the community. The book "Columbine" by Dave Cullen is a great resource for cutting through the BS about the incident that still persists to this day, but I think I'll also read Sue Klebold's book as well.

[roddma]

I think a correctional facility wouldn't have helped either. Have you ever noticed 99% of serial killers are described as quite and noone saw it coming? The point is good people can go bad anytime

[hilee]

1 hour ago, roddma said:

I think a correctional facility wouldn't have helped either. Have you ever noticed 99% of serial killers are described as quite and noone saw it coming? The point is good people can go bad anytime

THis is very true. I had a classmate whose grandmother knew Ed Gein. That Ed Gein, was floored he wasn't a nice man like she thought. Like how do you hide THAT?

[Mitz_]

Michael and David Bever, Broken Arrow OK murdered their parents and 3 out of 5 of their siblings in July 2015. They stabbed them to death .. Klebold and Harris were their role models, so to speak and they had planned to carry out similar attacks and mass killings Like Klebold and Harris did at Columbine. Anyway, the Bever family was very reclusive, homeschoolers, fundies (home church) and  even though the parents are dead there is a lot of Speculation about if they are part of the reason these two boys are so messed up.  

http://www.fox23.com/news/bever-brothers-head-to-court-for-preliminary-hearing/107034722

I'm going to order Sue Klebold's book, every time I hear about a crime like Columbine I think of the mothers, especially the mothers of the killers. 

 

 

 

[Cleopatra7]

2 hours ago, roddma said:

I think a correctional facility wouldn't have helped either. Have you ever noticed 99% of serial killers are described as quite and noone saw it coming? The point is good people can go bad anytime

I don't think being in a correctional facility would have straightened Harris or Klebold out, just that it would have perhaps delayed the attack or possibly allowed their parents time to discover what was about to happen. The Harrises knew that Eric had a violent website that contained death threats but did nothing, so maybe they were just plain clueless on purpose, but I get the impression that Sue Klebold would have intervened had she known. As a psychopath, Harris probably would have killed someone eventually, since it doesn't seem possible to "cure" or rehabilitate someone with psychopathic tendencies. Harris' journals also indicated that he fantasized about raping girls in the same way that he dreamed about mass murder, so I don't think anything was off-limits for him.

[roddma]

The boy had TWO parents to intervene. .

[Jingerbread]

11 hours ago, sparkles said:

Family members of the perpetrators are often unseen, forgotten victims of these tragedies but instead of receiving sympathy and understanding, they're vilified and threatened. As difficult as it to be the parent of a murdered child, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be the parent of the murderer.

The brother of the shooter at Sandy Hook was mistakenly and publicly named as the shooter, and when all was over, he lost his mother, his brother, his brother was the shooter, and he's been treated as a villain ever since because of a situation where he couldn't have had any control at all.

5 hours ago, roddma said:

I think a correctional facility wouldn't have helped either. Have you ever noticed 99% of serial killers are described as quite and noone saw it coming? The point is good people can go bad anytime

I don't want to give too much personal information here, but when I was a teenager, I had a couple friends, one who has passed because fuck cancer, and the other who disappeared into a world of drugs.  They both went to Columbine, at that time.  They both knew the boys, and couldn't move past it.  The friend of mine who got into drugs was never able to shake the feeling that people you think are good can do such bad, and he questioned what he could do.

Good people can mentally snap and go bad, but no one wants to say it because who wants to admit we could do the same thing it our brains mess up and there's no help?  It's not like the Klebolds has as many signs that they ignored.  The Harrises had more to go on, but did nothing.  Under the circumstances, it could have been anyone, and that's scary.

[roddma]

I think this was one of those 1 % 'exception to the rule' where signs were present, and likely got dismissed as a phase.

[anjulibai]

17 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I've always thought that the public blame of the Klebolds, at least, was a bit harsh. It's generally agreed that Eric Harris was a psychopath, and in true psychopath form, he fooled everyone around him, including his parents, teachers, and juvenile justice officials (he and Klebold were arrested for breaking into a van and were sent to a youth diversion program). When you have a real psychopath in your midst, ordinary, good-natured parenting isn't going to do a thing, and neither will strict parenting. Columbine was not a "school shooting," but a failed terrorist plot that devolved into a school shooting. The propane bombs Klebold and Harris built were meant to demolish the school cafeteria, and kill at least 500 people. Fortunately, the bombs were mis-wired (effective bombs are notoriously hard to build, which is why professional terrorist groups have engineers and demolition experts who do nothing but build bombs that are guaranteed to work). When you think of Columbine as a failed terrorist attack created by a psychopath and a suicidal depressive, then it becomes harder to simply do the "blame the parents" routine.

The best opportunity for breaking up the Columbine plot would have been after the van break-in; perhaps if the two had been exposed to "the system" the particulars of the plan would have been discovered while they were serving time. I suppose the idea was that the break-in was "kid's stuff" and there was no reason to derail Klebold and Harris' lives, but in hindsight, it might have prevented the shooting. However, the Harrises believed that the issue should be handled "within the family" and with the least amount of legal intervention, presumably to preserve their "face" within the community. The book "Columbine" by Dave Cullen is a great resource for cutting through the BS about the incident that still persists to this day, but I think I'll also read Sue Klebold's book as well.

I can understand that mindset. I'm reminded of my uncle, who, when he was 15, spent a lot of time breaking into garages with a couple of friends. His parents were divorcing, his father was abusive and uninvolved, and my grandma was working to support herself and the 5 or 6 children she still had at home. He was sent to live with my mom, who was about 19-20 at the time. Police were involved, but when he went to live with my mom, the matter was dropped. 

Since he was not a psychopath, just a kid from a broken home with no one paying attention to him, he eventually made a good life for himself. No other issues that came out. He's always had good jobs, self-supporting, two kids, etc., etc. His life may well have been ruined if he'd been put into the system at that time - sadly much of our prison system just makes criminals worse. 

So, I get it. In hindsight for some awful crimes, you wonder, but then, as you say, you aren't dealing with normal people here. You're dealing with deeply broken individuals who likely aren't able to be cured, and just need to be locked away for a time. 

I don't know what the answer is. How do you protect from the small number of truly broken people without permanently breaking those that just make mistakes? 

[Elementally Amy]

I just read this book and i was prepared to be critical of it, but Sue Klebold is very intelligent in how she delivers the information. She also talks a lot about limiting sensationalizing of things like this to prevent copy-cats. She also says repeatedly that what her son did was terrible and murder, she doesn't make excuses for him. Her reasons for writing the book are good as well,

I recommend people who have read Columbine read this, as well.

[SpoonfulOSugar]

I was a classroom teacher when Columbine happened.  One of the frightening elements was that I had a student at the time who looked eerily like Harris.

I've read everything I can get my hands on about this - and I read/watched some of the publicity with the release of Mrs. Klebold's book.  Among other things, she's not profiting by doing this - the proceeds are going to help others.  I have great respect for someone who tries to remedy harm, even when it perhaps could not be helped (by her at that time.)

What bothers me more is I don't get much sense that we've made progress towards preventing these events.

[Howl]

I saw an interview with her (60 Minutes or 20/20?)  This is a woman who, when she found out her son was one of the active shooters, prayed for him to die so he could not hurt any more people. 

I found her to be a profoundly thoughtful and compassionate woman.  I think her son carefully curated his activities and relationship with his parents to NOT arouse suspicion.  In other words, he checked all the good son boxes on the home front while getting ready for an apocalyptic suicide mission.   I also know many, many people whose teen aged sons basically closed the bedroom door for a year or two while they sorted  out how to be their own person.  It's not unusual behavior. 

[violynn]

On 3/19/2016 at 2:29 PM, iweartanktops said:

@sparkles, Far From the Tree is a great book! 

Thanks for the information about how she stayed in the community, etc., after the shooting. I didn't know about that. I think I'll get her book. 

I've been in the Columbine rabbit hole all weekend til now, reading Klebold's book and then Cullen's.  Now here's another one I'm going to have to read!  lol

[iweartanktops]

37 minutes ago, violynn said:

I've been in the Columbine rabbit hole all weekend til now, reading Klebold's book and then Cullen's.  Now here's another one I'm going to have to read!  lol

Let me know what you think!

Miss you.

[violynn]

Will do!  I miss you too, friend!  I hope soon I'll have more online time, but the wedding and some health issues are keeping me away lots more than I like.  =/

[formergothardite]

I just ordered Far From the Tree. It sounds really interesting. 

[iheartchacos]

I felt immense compassion for her after that 20/20 interview. She didn't shun away from the fact that there were clues they missed and that her son was wholly responsible for his actions.

[FloraKitty35]

I read this earlier this year.  I can't even begin to fathom what she has to live with everyday. 

[devoe364]

On 3/21/2016 at 7:50 PM, Howl said:

I saw an interview with her (60 Minutes or 20/20?)  This is a woman who, when she found out her son was one of the active shooters, prayed for him to die so he could not hurt any more people. 

I found her to be a profoundly thoughtful and compassionate woman.  I think her son carefully curated his activities and relationship with his parents to NOT arouse suspicion.  In other words, he checked all the good son boxes on the home front while getting ready for an apocalyptic suicide mission.   I also know many, many people whose teen aged sons basically closed the bedroom door for a year or two while they sorted  out how to be their own person.  It's not unusual behavior. 

My brother closed his bedroom door when he was 12. He still doesn't come out of my Mom's basement much. He's not a killer nor is he ever likely to be one. He's just not a people person. 

[FundieFarmer]

Just reading what y'all have written here has gotten my interest. I was really young when it happened but it scared me for a long time. Definitely ordering because I agree- I really do feel for the parents who get blindsided.

[zee_four]

I'm an Aurora theater shooting survivor who knows a lot of the Columbine families and survivors. I was close with the little sister of one victim, we went to church together where i also went to two of the funerals. I have a lot of different feelings about the entire Columbine tragedy but I've always felt sympathetic for the Klebolds. I also feel for the parents of the murderer in Aurora, a view I'm very one in having and and keep quiet especially since the mother of one of my friends killed who has become like a second mom to me abhors them.

[Jucifer]

Did anyone see Gus Van Sant's movie 'Elephant'?  

It's fictional and not an easy movie to watch, but it's really powerful.

I think it's one of his best.